I'm just gonna zoom... away

You know what has been reiterated in my brain the past few weeks? I am NOT a video call person. I have never enjoyed them and I continue not to enjoy them, even as everyone is going to them as a way of connecting face-to-face.

I decline.

I don't need to see someone's face in order to feel their presence. When I'm on the phone with someone, I usually do things like cleaning the kitchen or sweeping or taking out the trash. These things are neither visually stimulating nor easy to accomplish if you have to hold a device and keep it trained on yourself.

When you add in more than two people, it just goes straight off the rails.

I know that people use Zoom and other conference technology for work. I think it mostly works in that way, because it is assumed that there is an agenda and people are mostly orderly in their input -- although James told me today he also eschews most "let's just get on a quick Zoom call and wrap this up" invitations because he prefers email, where both parties can think about their words and present a coherent, complete thought that will also be in writing.

But my church is trying to keep people in touch with Zoom and every time I've participated so far, it's been awkward. Either one person just talks more than everyone else, or when people try to chat, three people start at the same time... then stop... then start again... and it's just hard. There's a difference in person, where you can kind of feel the timbre of the room and tell by someone's body language that they're about to launch into a story so you don't interrupt. As much.

Also, it still doesn't "feel like" getting together. If you get together with a group of 12 people, there might be three active conversations going on at once. You can't do that if you're on a Zoom call. And hearing. Maybe it works for people who use sign language, but, again, you'd have to maximize the right window. Ehh.

THEN this week, they did a virtual happy hour (which James's work is also doing) where they were going to have a sing-along. Oh my word. My sister and I were talking about this earlier, how Zoom emphasizes one single sound source. It's kind of neat when someone starts talking and Zoom identifies who it is and highlights their window so you can tell who you're listening to without having to scan thumbnails.

However, this means that whoever sings loudest in a sing-along will be the main thing one hears, even if that's not the person with the accompaniment... or pitch. It just sounded like an awkward disaster waiting to happen, so I begged off. Well, it *was* my anniversary. And I also decided that a sing-along like that must be total hell on the other people in the house who are not participating. Especially if the user has earphones, as I would have.

So if you want to get in touch, feel free to call me! On a voice call. After you've texted me to warn me. And maybe I'll answer. Miss you all, though! Really!

Collaboration Overload

My younger child has a new passion: Sharing information.

Malcolm likes to tell us (and especially me) what is going on. At. All. Times.

For instance, Mal was watching Mickey and the Roadster Racers last night. After watching a couple of episodes "with" him while I cleaned up the kitchen, I went into the back room to take out my contacts and get dressed for bed. While I was back there, he hit pause and ran back to tell me something amusing he'd enjoyed at least four times.

When we were at my parents' house last weekend, every time my Dad would say something funny, Malcolm would run into the room where I was (which, in an open floorpan, is basically the same room) and repeat it.

Mal plays a lot of Lego Star Wars right now, and he was already pretty big on the "Watch this!" then monitoring that our eyeballs were pointing at his screen at all times. But now, he stops playing to ask which characters we think he should play (and sometimes he does play them, but usually he already knows who he wants to utilize); he also will wonder out loud, "Who can use the force for this part?" even though he knows the answer... and will wait until one of us chimes in to proceed.

Adding to some frustration and exhaustion here is that he still just doesn't not know (or care?) about conversation etiquette in any fashion. James and I will be mid-sentence in an involved conversation, and he'll just say, "Hey, um, also..." and tell us something about what he just saw on TV or something funny he thought of.

Beyond interrupting is that he can't seem to listen in order to have an actual 2-sided conversation. He's been to Bricks and Minifigs (a neat, unauthorized LEGO reseller) a few times, and the people who work there seem impressed with his knowledge of characters and vehicles. They've tried to engage him with their own cool tidbits, and Mal just doesn't seem to be able to accept information instead of saying, "I know but, this is..." and going on with what he wants to talk about.

After I started this blog post, he decided that he wanted to play with his Sonic characters, and I told him I'd join him as soon as I was finished. He's been standing by me ever since, talking to me about his dad's Rubik's cube, or asking if I remember something that happened yesterday... even though I tell him I'll be ready a lot faster if he leaves me to finish this one thing and play alone a few minutes.

I'm trying to pull back and see a "big picture" concept where I can help him steer this "strength," whatever it might be, into a constructive and not annoying path.

But right now, I'm just too tired. My brain hurts.