Sunday, August 9, 2015
Up(?)grading to Windows 10
I've been pretty leery about this, since the whole thing was announced.
On one hand, it can't possibly be *that* much worse than Windows 8, right? And I bought this laptop (I've affectionately named it Wormtail) just so I could try out that monstrosity.
OTOH...well, this is easily the must intrusive licensing agreement *ever*. I've been waffling lately about whether Google or Amazon is worse when it comes to the way they produce products that are good enough to get us to share our daily secrets.
Laura recently noted that Amazon probably knows her better than I do. When I admitted that this is probably true, she started with [mock?] outrage that I wasn't even going to try to fight back, then got really dirty when she asserted that Amazon has more time for her than I.
Well, she's right on pretty much all counts. Amazon has a *ton* of money at stake when it comes to getting to know her slightest want and desire. And an inconceivable army of computers to track every single one of her whims.
I can't possibly compete with that.
Except, you know, by being a person who actually fulfills her needs and provides support. Sure, Amazon knows when she needs extra chocolate, while I have to guess, but Amazon isn't ever going to even try to change Mal's diaper while she takes a shower. Sure, it could probably do a better job than I, with Barney and Thomas the Train, but that's one of the many reasons we don't have a TV.
That's almost all just a basic anecdote around the basic point. No matter how much Amazon and Google know about my personal life, Microsoft (surprise, surprise!) just upped the ante.
They can now collect every little nuance of every detail of everything that happens when I'm sitting at Wormtail.
I'm pretty sure the EULA allows them to turn on my web cam and analyze everything it sees. While they're analyzing every keystroke and mouse shift. They now have total access to everything I might ever think about doing on this system, and it would be insane for me to think they aren't collecting all of it.
There's a subtle option during the install that lets you opt out of most of this. It's a fine print sort of thing that most people will skip right past. I wish I'd thought to take screen shots. Even though I opted out of every option that mentioned sending data about usage behind my back, I feel like this laptop is now a spy in my own home.
I already felt that way, of course, or I'd have picked a different name.
That's really all existential drama for another day. The entire point to this post is that the trans-grade went smoothly.
Microsoft asked for my feedback after the fact. They reserved the right to use that for process improvements and marketing spiel. Since I wrote it, I believe I have the right to cross-post it here.
Note that I really haven't explored *anything* about the actual changes yet. I'm horrified that Candy Crush is now in my Start "menu." I'm grateful that pushing the win-logo button no longer dumps my desktop. I'm excited that there's finally some semblance of virtual desktops...but, so far, it underwhelms.
Anyway. Here's my review of the actual trans-perience (for whatever it's worth):
Based on what I've read around the net, and from the update app, I expected some sort of notification that my upgrade was ready. I happened to click on it today because I'd added a reminder to my calendar (since I've learned to not trust these things).
The app popped up with "You're ready to upgrade now," which was almost good timing. Everything I'd read said I could schedule everything for later after the EULA, so I went through that step, and scheduled it for midnight.
An hour or so later, I got to a stopping point and figured I might as well try the upgrade now, so I clicked on the upgrade app and got...nothing. Eh, well, no rush. I wouldn't have minded just waiting until midnight.
So I went about my business. When my computer went to sleep while I was away, I logged back in and found a message that Windows Update needed me to reboot right away. I've also read lots of posts warning that we need to pay lots of attention to this sort of thing, since hardware manufacturers are updating drivers frantically right now.
It was one of those rare moments when it was actually convenient for me to reboot. I'd been planning on it anyway, so most of my work was already saved (surprise reboots are probably my biggest complaint about Windows. Why haven't you people managed to catch up with Linux on this one?)
That reboot actually started my upgrade. Which seems to have been the smoothest I've ever experienced. I haven't tried to actually do anything yet besides basic web browsing (and updating cygwin), so I may have a different story when I try to, say, use our scanner/printer. But, so far, for now, this was almost painless (well, except for my computer being unavailable for a few hours. Again: why is Microsoft so far behind Linux on this sort of thing? Hopefully their new rolling update strategy means this is the last time I'll ever have a reason to sit through this nonsense).
I'm not holding my breath, mind you. But it seems worth hoping for, since MS actually asked for my feedback (hey, props for that, too. I'm sure that's a first!)
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Review: Taco Bell's Cap'n Crunch Delights
When I saw these on the interwebs, I knew I had to try.
The response from my Facebook friends was mixed, but pretty much either in the "These are awesome!" camp or on the "Yuck! I'd rather eat a skunk tail" side.
Which made me want to try them even more.
So, first, here's the ad:
Here is how they're described on Taco Bell's website: "The new Cap'n Crunch™ Delights™ are warm, light pastries, coated with fruityCap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries™ cereal and filled with creamy, sweet milk icing."
So now you know.
Now here's my experience with them.
First a caveat: These might look and taste much better freshly fried at the store. I had to drive mine home, so they spent about half an hour in the car.
We got a 4-pack, which is just under two bucks, which means we are looking at about $.50 per... uh, ball... for lack of a better word.
Here we go!
Hmm... the ground cereal doesn't really show too well on the red dough. Maybe it's just a bad angle or bad light? I moved them to an area with more natural light.
Uck. Not much better. Still doesn't look too appetizing. The colors just get lost in the glaze and the red. This might be different when they're fresher.
Time to taste one!
Well, then. It looked like my drive home had caused the icing to absorb up into the pastry. So, no real milky icing to report.
However, it tasted good. It didn't have a Cap'n Crunch taste, though. It tasted like a doughnut hole that had been rolled in any kind of sugar or cookie or something vaguely sweet but random. Good, but not proprietarily-flavored, as far as I was concerned.
The second one I tried fared better in the filling department. And I stood by a window to take its picture, so you could actually see it.
There ya go.
Again, good. Tasty. Like a doughnut hole. No biggie. Not disgusting. Stirred no particular opinion either way. James said something about how it wasn't horrible. It might be a weird choice for Taco Bell, though, as I don't really see a tie between its cuisine and doughnut holes, but that's probably why I'm not in charge of their marketing.
The response from my Facebook friends was mixed, but pretty much either in the "These are awesome!" camp or on the "Yuck! I'd rather eat a skunk tail" side.
Which made me want to try them even more.
So, first, here's the ad:
Here is how they're described on Taco Bell's website: "The new Cap'n Crunch™ Delights™ are warm, light pastries, coated with fruityCap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries™ cereal and filled with creamy, sweet milk icing."
So now you know.
Now here's my experience with them.
First a caveat: These might look and taste much better freshly fried at the store. I had to drive mine home, so they spent about half an hour in the car.
We got a 4-pack, which is just under two bucks, which means we are looking at about $.50 per... uh, ball... for lack of a better word.
Here we go!
Hmm... the ground cereal doesn't really show too well on the red dough. Maybe it's just a bad angle or bad light? I moved them to an area with more natural light.
Uck. Not much better. Still doesn't look too appetizing. The colors just get lost in the glaze and the red. This might be different when they're fresher.
Time to taste one!
Well, then. It looked like my drive home had caused the icing to absorb up into the pastry. So, no real milky icing to report.
However, it tasted good. It didn't have a Cap'n Crunch taste, though. It tasted like a doughnut hole that had been rolled in any kind of sugar or cookie or something vaguely sweet but random. Good, but not proprietarily-flavored, as far as I was concerned.
The second one I tried fared better in the filling department. And I stood by a window to take its picture, so you could actually see it.
There ya go.
Again, good. Tasty. Like a doughnut hole. No biggie. Not disgusting. Stirred no particular opinion either way. James said something about how it wasn't horrible. It might be a weird choice for Taco Bell, though, as I don't really see a tie between its cuisine and doughnut holes, but that's probably why I'm not in charge of their marketing.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Can I Get a Do-Over?
Do you ever wish you could start over? An event? A day? A whole parenting adventure?
I have the "day" thing happen a lot... although, actually, I wouldn't ever want to live a bad day again, even if I could fix what I did wrong. I'm usually just glad to have made it through and then vow to do better the next time!
But sometimes...
One thing about having a child separated almost 13 years by the only other is that I am seeing some fruit of choices I made in respect to mothering my daughter that I am doing very differently with my son and that I wish I could go back and do differently with the girl.
Of course I can't, and I did the best that I could. But I apologize to her a lot about her being the "beta test." I sincerely feel bad and often wonder if some of our breaks today are due to some of the parenting I did when she was small (and please don't comment that they're not, because you don't know and I don't know, but I certainly have my suspicions about some things).
What got me thinking about this (this time) is that the other day, I ordered Mayim Bialik's book Beyond the Sling. If you're a new mother, or if you're expecting, I highly recommend it. It's so encouraging in terms of trusting your own instinct and not following a parenting trend just because someone with a fancy degree says to do it. (Yes, she talks about what she's done and how it's worked in their family, but constantly with the caveat of that won't work for everyone, and people need to do what's best for their family.)
I really like Bialik's humble, personable style of writing, and enjoy reading her articles on Kveller.com. She's vegan and super green and way crunchier than I am, but reading her take on things is nice and sort of supportive, which is what I think she's going for.
Now for a Mal update:
This boy is getting so verbal! He understands a ton, and is doing his best to communicate using "words."
So far we have:
"Dah-dah!" or "Dah-tah!" for his dad. He uses it specifically, looking for James throughout the house, or when James comes in the door, or when he sees a picture of him. He also said it about a guy at the pool, but that guy had a goatee and pony tail, so maybe to Mal's baby eyes, it kind of looked like his dad.
"Dah-dayee" or "Day-nayee" for Daphne. Always pretty loud, since I'm typically yelling down the hall to her.
"Kee-kah" for "kitty cat." He tries to say Aish's name, too, but it just comes out "shhh." He might not be able to tell Rudy and Carol apart, but it should be easy because Carol runs, and Rudy stays.
"Bah" or "bah-bah" for "ball." Today, we picked up our van after its having been in the shop for over a week. When he got in the back seat and saw the inflatable beach ball, he said, delightedly, "Ball!"
He tries to copy pretty much anything we say that amuses him. He laughs when we laugh, and hollers if we holler to him. He understands what I say, especially if I repeat it and reinforce it. This morning, I would ask, "Can I have a hug?" and then squeeze the tar out of him. After the fourth time, when I asked if I could have a hug, he leaned in and hugged me.
The coolest thing is that... well, the is isn't the cool part: He has a temper! He gets so mad if he's trying to move something or open something and it's not going the way he wanted. He will yell, throw his head back, start into a tantrum. I've started saying, "Malcolm, do you need help? All you have to do is say, 'Help, please,' 'Help, mama.'" Now, as soon as I calmly ask, "Do you need help?" he'll say, "Buh-buh."
He also says "Buh-buh" when he climbs up and starts pawing and me and fussing. I'll stop and ask, "Do you want nursies?" (while doing the sign) He'll say, "Buh-buh."
If I bottle-fed him, I'd assume he was asking for a bottle. But this is the catch-all for "You need to get something for me, mom."
I can probably understand a lot because I'm around him so much, but some of the stuff he's trying to communicate is pretty darn clear!
This is where it starts getting fun.
I have the "day" thing happen a lot... although, actually, I wouldn't ever want to live a bad day again, even if I could fix what I did wrong. I'm usually just glad to have made it through and then vow to do better the next time!
But sometimes...
One thing about having a child separated almost 13 years by the only other is that I am seeing some fruit of choices I made in respect to mothering my daughter that I am doing very differently with my son and that I wish I could go back and do differently with the girl.
Of course I can't, and I did the best that I could. But I apologize to her a lot about her being the "beta test." I sincerely feel bad and often wonder if some of our breaks today are due to some of the parenting I did when she was small (and please don't comment that they're not, because you don't know and I don't know, but I certainly have my suspicions about some things).
What got me thinking about this (this time) is that the other day, I ordered Mayim Bialik's book Beyond the Sling. If you're a new mother, or if you're expecting, I highly recommend it. It's so encouraging in terms of trusting your own instinct and not following a parenting trend just because someone with a fancy degree says to do it. (Yes, she talks about what she's done and how it's worked in their family, but constantly with the caveat of that won't work for everyone, and people need to do what's best for their family.)
I really like Bialik's humble, personable style of writing, and enjoy reading her articles on Kveller.com. She's vegan and super green and way crunchier than I am, but reading her take on things is nice and sort of supportive, which is what I think she's going for.
 |
| Mal's morning was starting a lot better than the cat's. |
This boy is getting so verbal! He understands a ton, and is doing his best to communicate using "words."
So far we have:
"Dah-dah!" or "Dah-tah!" for his dad. He uses it specifically, looking for James throughout the house, or when James comes in the door, or when he sees a picture of him. He also said it about a guy at the pool, but that guy had a goatee and pony tail, so maybe to Mal's baby eyes, it kind of looked like his dad.
"Dah-dayee" or "Day-nayee" for Daphne. Always pretty loud, since I'm typically yelling down the hall to her.
"Kee-kah" for "kitty cat." He tries to say Aish's name, too, but it just comes out "shhh." He might not be able to tell Rudy and Carol apart, but it should be easy because Carol runs, and Rudy stays.
"Bah" or "bah-bah" for "ball." Today, we picked up our van after its having been in the shop for over a week. When he got in the back seat and saw the inflatable beach ball, he said, delightedly, "Ball!"
He tries to copy pretty much anything we say that amuses him. He laughs when we laugh, and hollers if we holler to him. He understands what I say, especially if I repeat it and reinforce it. This morning, I would ask, "Can I have a hug?" and then squeeze the tar out of him. After the fourth time, when I asked if I could have a hug, he leaned in and hugged me.
The coolest thing is that... well, the is isn't the cool part: He has a temper! He gets so mad if he's trying to move something or open something and it's not going the way he wanted. He will yell, throw his head back, start into a tantrum. I've started saying, "Malcolm, do you need help? All you have to do is say, 'Help, please,' 'Help, mama.'" Now, as soon as I calmly ask, "Do you need help?" he'll say, "Buh-buh."
He also says "Buh-buh" when he climbs up and starts pawing and me and fussing. I'll stop and ask, "Do you want nursies?" (while doing the sign) He'll say, "Buh-buh."
If I bottle-fed him, I'd assume he was asking for a bottle. But this is the catch-all for "You need to get something for me, mom."
I can probably understand a lot because I'm around him so much, but some of the stuff he's trying to communicate is pretty darn clear!
This is where it starts getting fun.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Happy World Breastfeeding Awareness Week!
Good Monday morning (for now; who knows when this will be completed and posted?) and welcome to World Breastfeeding Awareness Week!
I'm very aware of my breastfeeding, as I had a clogged duct for 14 hours on Friday, and am still getting over the pain.
Clearly, this isn't all romance and fun. And I'm no lactivist! In fact, when Mal wasn't even a month old, I wrote a whole post about why Formula-Feeding is awesome. Oh, man, I still feel that way. Almost a year in, with no freedom in sight, it still seems pretty incredible.
But that's not my experience this time, and I'm embracing what is, and I've read and seen and heard a lot of just irritatingly ignorant comments about breastfeeding in the past couple of weeks, so I thought I'd do this here post to combat some of that.
Once again, I'm not telling you you need to breastfeed. I don't care, honestly. I'm all for moms doing what works. And by "works," I mean even if your decision is totally in terms of convenience. I get it! My daughter could have nursed if we'd had her tongue-tie clipped, but I was wary of any further medical interventions. I welcomed the bottle. She started thriving. Yay for whatever! Do your thing. I support you! (And maybe am even a little jealous of you that your partner gets to feed the baby every once in a while.)
But.
Here's a picture, first of all.
Now, let me tell you a little bit about my past 10 months. I've spent a lot of time nursing (if you don't speak US English, I'm talking specifically about breast-feeding, and trying not to over-use the word "breast" or "boob," which I've just used to explain why I'm not using them). So. Much. Time.
My son cried a LOT as a newborn, and very often, even nursing didn't help. But sometimes it did, and it was the only thing that did, so I offered it a lot. I never leave the house thinking, "Where can I whip out my boob today?" and would really rather find other options, so try whenever it is possible.
That being said, I've nursed a lot of places I'd never have imagined before I had this baby. Like three airports (all three he's visited), most downtown restaurants, several churches (during service), so a doctor could check his ear for an infection, during my own eye exam while the optician was measuring me for glasses. It was probably a mistake to take Mal to my checkup, but I needed to get it done, and I thought he'd be okay with my just holding him. Nope. He screamed and was squirming around... until I popped him on, and he was happy long enough for me to get a new contacts and glasses prescription, and to verify that I do not have glaucoma. The staff was so professional and kind. They might have talked about me later, but to my face, they were amazing.
At first, I was very VERY discreet. When I tried nursing with Daphne, I actually covered her and me because I couldn't get in place without looking, so I needed to be in there with her. With Mal, I started by covering him, then just covering with a blanket the portion of my skin that was showing, and now sometimes I'll cover that skin with my hand so it doesn't scream "breasticles!" But, seriously, I'm feeding my kid. I am kind of over it. I don't feel immodest.
I have come to appreciate that breastfeeding does have a certain elegance. For instance, it's so awesome that it puts baby's face close enough to mom's face that he can see her, even from birth. And that even if I have an off day due to stress or business or whatever, so that I end up eating absolute garbage, my breast milk is magically still perfect.
So, here are some things I've read or heard or thought about recently. I'll address them, then I'll address something I think some breastfeeding moms say that is also ridiculous.
1) "That kid was at least a year old!" Um. So? The World Health Organization says, "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." I gave my daughter formula until she was 18 months old. Was that inappropriate? No one who ever saw her with formula at a restaurant chided me or clucked their tongue.
2) "Once they're eating solid food, they get all of the nutrition they need from it."
a) No, they don't. I talked to a doctor once and he said it's not a day-to-day balanced diet you're going for with kids; it's a two-week picture. Well, still... sometimes, we'll have a tired or bad or sick week or so, and there's no way this little kid is getting all of his nutrients from food. Besides, grown people eat a much wider variety of foods, but many still take a vitamin supplement to fill in the holes. That's what formula is to older kids.
b) Breastfeeding isn't just about nutrition. There's an emotional aspect. Sometimes, Mal will be fussy and come to me, want to nurse, suckle maybe four times, then head off again, recharged. It's how he's comforted. Yes, I'm trying to find other ways to help him calm himself, but we're not there yet.
3) "She didn't even try to cover up when he'd unlatch to look around!" I get this, on a logical level. Once the boob is not in the baby's mouth, it seems like it could go back into its packaging, right? Except... have you ever given a bottle to a baby who can feed himself? They might drink 1/4 of it, decide to pay attention to something else for forty seconds, and then come back. What if I expected you to lid the bottle and zip it back up in your diaper bag every time it wasn't in active use? You might think that's different, because it's a bottle and not a sexy sexy titty, but...
4) If you have a problem with the alleged immodesty that breastfeeding causes, then you need to take it up with God (or nature, if you don't believe in a creator deity). Seriously, Christian soldiers! Do you believe that the Lord designed everything? If so, you have to acknowledge that he put the milk delivery system together the way that he did, and even said everything he made was "good," with humans being "very good."
As I was pondering the ramifications of this, I had this mental picture of God leaning over to Jesus in heaven, elbowing him in the ribs, and saying, "Heh, wait until you see where Imma put the milk."
Now, if you're thinking this sounds blasphemous, believe me, I do, too! I thought about making a short film, or even just putting together a meme with Beavis and Butthead, but I really don't want to come off as disrespectful. I don't see my God as a hormonal, immature 14-year-old boy trying to get some lolz from his posse in heaven. I don't think his intention was to be shocking or disturbing when he made mammals. So maybe the problem is ours and we need to get over ourselves?
5) "She didn't even try to be discreet." Like I mentioned, that gets increasingly complicated as they get older. Well, actually, it was complicated when he was nursing every 20 minutes. And "discreet" means different things to different people. Now, my son will look around while he's eating. I try to keep his head close to my chest so I'm not going off in anyone's eyeball or anything, but that's about the best I can do. Closing up shop for him to come right back after he's taken inventory of his surroundings would draw MORE attention to myself every time I struggled with getting it back in place.
6) "They can do that at home." Yes, we can. And we do. I take snacks and food and juice or water with me to restaurants. I try very much to discourage nursing at restaurants, mostly because it takes away from my ability to eat the food we're paying to consume. Unlike when he was little, Mal can't just stay in my lap and nurse, letting me cover him with my food droppings. No. This boy now reaches and kicks and is generally a menace to me if I have to hold him during meals. At home, I often just set him in the floor and let him cry while I finish. I won't do that to you at a restaurant. I'll nurse him if that's what he needs to calm down.
7) "He doesn't need that." Maybe not. But you don't need that cake, and no one's telling you that you got all you "needed" from your meal, and you shouldn't have something else that gives you pleasure.
8) "If she's old enough to ask for it, it's time to stop?" Now that your kid has gone through the hard work of learning to articulate her needs, she's rewarded by a big, fat no? Anyway, who gets to make this decision? Why is it anyone's business but the parents' and the kid's? Oh, because...
9) "I know they extend breastfeeding in other cultures, but we don't do it here, so they need to get over it." Parable: As a society, we treat our aged like garbage. Many Asian cultures revere the elderly. Is it wise or sensible to say, "Too bad; we've decided gramps is a drain on our resources, and if you want to live somewhere that's different, then you should move to Asia. Otherwise, get with the USA program!"
Listen, if someone offered you a resource that was free nutritionally-balanced food for your kid, and you didn't ever have to remember to bring it with you, wouldn't you want to have that available for as long as possible?
When Daphne was just a few months older than Mal, we'd gone to a Christmas light event on Thanksgiving night. I thought I had formula powder in her diaper bag, but I didn't. She wanted a bottle and was letting me know in no uncertain terms. Desperate, I purchased a hot chocolate from a vendor, let it cool down, and put it in her bottle. At least it'd be something milky and warm. But I guess it was still too hot for her baby mouth, and she screamed and cried and wouldn't drink it, even half an hour later when it was actually cool. It was so stressful, and that night ended in one of the biggest blow-ups Daphne's dad and I had ever had to that point.
That won't happen with Mal! I always have his go-to. It's always here. It's a huge blessing!
I promise you, when I feed him in public, it's not my first choice. But also, I'm not really thinking about you. Like, I'm not trying to entertain you or be shocking or anything. If I *am* thinking about you, it's because I want him to be quiet and happy in public, and this is the thing I do before I just take him outside and give up on dinner myself. It doesn't happen a lot anymore, but it still happens. I never head out looking forward to nursing Mal in various locations, though. It's a necessity.
That said, I've heard some moms complain if people, or specifically men, "look at" them. Ehh. I get it. It's not "normalized" (thus the need for World Breastfeeding Awareness Week). It's different. Your eye might be drawn. I don't care. But if I catch your eye, you might want to smile or something so I'll know we're being pleasant. And if you have a son who can't seem to stop looking, tell him to come over and say, "Hi!" to me! Then it's like I'm a real person, not just a face attached to a floating boob.
I hope for my son's sake that he grows up seeing a lot of breasts feeding a lot of babies. Then maybe it won't be such a "hehe heh" thing for him.
Now he's awake from his nap and is surprisingly unimpressed with my blogging. So for now... Eat hearty, me babies!
I'm lucky to live in Austin, where I've never had so much as a raised eyebrow. What about you, though? What are some things that you've heard? Leave them in the comments!
I'm very aware of my breastfeeding, as I had a clogged duct for 14 hours on Friday, and am still getting over the pain.
Clearly, this isn't all romance and fun. And I'm no lactivist! In fact, when Mal wasn't even a month old, I wrote a whole post about why Formula-Feeding is awesome. Oh, man, I still feel that way. Almost a year in, with no freedom in sight, it still seems pretty incredible.
But that's not my experience this time, and I'm embracing what is, and I've read and seen and heard a lot of just irritatingly ignorant comments about breastfeeding in the past couple of weeks, so I thought I'd do this here post to combat some of that.
Once again, I'm not telling you you need to breastfeed. I don't care, honestly. I'm all for moms doing what works. And by "works," I mean even if your decision is totally in terms of convenience. I get it! My daughter could have nursed if we'd had her tongue-tie clipped, but I was wary of any further medical interventions. I welcomed the bottle. She started thriving. Yay for whatever! Do your thing. I support you! (And maybe am even a little jealous of you that your partner gets to feed the baby every once in a while.)
But.
Here's a picture, first of all.
 |
| Yes, his latch is awful! He's also a fat 10-month-old, so I ain't even worried. |
My son cried a LOT as a newborn, and very often, even nursing didn't help. But sometimes it did, and it was the only thing that did, so I offered it a lot. I never leave the house thinking, "Where can I whip out my boob today?" and would really rather find other options, so try whenever it is possible.
That being said, I've nursed a lot of places I'd never have imagined before I had this baby. Like three airports (all three he's visited), most downtown restaurants, several churches (during service), so a doctor could check his ear for an infection, during my own eye exam while the optician was measuring me for glasses. It was probably a mistake to take Mal to my checkup, but I needed to get it done, and I thought he'd be okay with my just holding him. Nope. He screamed and was squirming around... until I popped him on, and he was happy long enough for me to get a new contacts and glasses prescription, and to verify that I do not have glaucoma. The staff was so professional and kind. They might have talked about me later, but to my face, they were amazing.
At first, I was very VERY discreet. When I tried nursing with Daphne, I actually covered her and me because I couldn't get in place without looking, so I needed to be in there with her. With Mal, I started by covering him, then just covering with a blanket the portion of my skin that was showing, and now sometimes I'll cover that skin with my hand so it doesn't scream "breasticles!" But, seriously, I'm feeding my kid. I am kind of over it. I don't feel immodest.
I have come to appreciate that breastfeeding does have a certain elegance. For instance, it's so awesome that it puts baby's face close enough to mom's face that he can see her, even from birth. And that even if I have an off day due to stress or business or whatever, so that I end up eating absolute garbage, my breast milk is magically still perfect.
So, here are some things I've read or heard or thought about recently. I'll address them, then I'll address something I think some breastfeeding moms say that is also ridiculous.
1) "That kid was at least a year old!" Um. So? The World Health Organization says, "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." I gave my daughter formula until she was 18 months old. Was that inappropriate? No one who ever saw her with formula at a restaurant chided me or clucked their tongue.
2) "Once they're eating solid food, they get all of the nutrition they need from it."
a) No, they don't. I talked to a doctor once and he said it's not a day-to-day balanced diet you're going for with kids; it's a two-week picture. Well, still... sometimes, we'll have a tired or bad or sick week or so, and there's no way this little kid is getting all of his nutrients from food. Besides, grown people eat a much wider variety of foods, but many still take a vitamin supplement to fill in the holes. That's what formula is to older kids.
b) Breastfeeding isn't just about nutrition. There's an emotional aspect. Sometimes, Mal will be fussy and come to me, want to nurse, suckle maybe four times, then head off again, recharged. It's how he's comforted. Yes, I'm trying to find other ways to help him calm himself, but we're not there yet.
3) "She didn't even try to cover up when he'd unlatch to look around!" I get this, on a logical level. Once the boob is not in the baby's mouth, it seems like it could go back into its packaging, right? Except... have you ever given a bottle to a baby who can feed himself? They might drink 1/4 of it, decide to pay attention to something else for forty seconds, and then come back. What if I expected you to lid the bottle and zip it back up in your diaper bag every time it wasn't in active use? You might think that's different, because it's a bottle and not a sexy sexy titty, but...
4) If you have a problem with the alleged immodesty that breastfeeding causes, then you need to take it up with God (or nature, if you don't believe in a creator deity). Seriously, Christian soldiers! Do you believe that the Lord designed everything? If so, you have to acknowledge that he put the milk delivery system together the way that he did, and even said everything he made was "good," with humans being "very good."
As I was pondering the ramifications of this, I had this mental picture of God leaning over to Jesus in heaven, elbowing him in the ribs, and saying, "Heh, wait until you see where Imma put the milk."
Now, if you're thinking this sounds blasphemous, believe me, I do, too! I thought about making a short film, or even just putting together a meme with Beavis and Butthead, but I really don't want to come off as disrespectful. I don't see my God as a hormonal, immature 14-year-old boy trying to get some lolz from his posse in heaven. I don't think his intention was to be shocking or disturbing when he made mammals. So maybe the problem is ours and we need to get over ourselves?
5) "She didn't even try to be discreet." Like I mentioned, that gets increasingly complicated as they get older. Well, actually, it was complicated when he was nursing every 20 minutes. And "discreet" means different things to different people. Now, my son will look around while he's eating. I try to keep his head close to my chest so I'm not going off in anyone's eyeball or anything, but that's about the best I can do. Closing up shop for him to come right back after he's taken inventory of his surroundings would draw MORE attention to myself every time I struggled with getting it back in place.
6) "They can do that at home." Yes, we can. And we do. I take snacks and food and juice or water with me to restaurants. I try very much to discourage nursing at restaurants, mostly because it takes away from my ability to eat the food we're paying to consume. Unlike when he was little, Mal can't just stay in my lap and nurse, letting me cover him with my food droppings. No. This boy now reaches and kicks and is generally a menace to me if I have to hold him during meals. At home, I often just set him in the floor and let him cry while I finish. I won't do that to you at a restaurant. I'll nurse him if that's what he needs to calm down.
7) "He doesn't need that." Maybe not. But you don't need that cake, and no one's telling you that you got all you "needed" from your meal, and you shouldn't have something else that gives you pleasure.
8) "If she's old enough to ask for it, it's time to stop?" Now that your kid has gone through the hard work of learning to articulate her needs, she's rewarded by a big, fat no? Anyway, who gets to make this decision? Why is it anyone's business but the parents' and the kid's? Oh, because...
9) "I know they extend breastfeeding in other cultures, but we don't do it here, so they need to get over it." Parable: As a society, we treat our aged like garbage. Many Asian cultures revere the elderly. Is it wise or sensible to say, "Too bad; we've decided gramps is a drain on our resources, and if you want to live somewhere that's different, then you should move to Asia. Otherwise, get with the USA program!"
Listen, if someone offered you a resource that was free nutritionally-balanced food for your kid, and you didn't ever have to remember to bring it with you, wouldn't you want to have that available for as long as possible?
When Daphne was just a few months older than Mal, we'd gone to a Christmas light event on Thanksgiving night. I thought I had formula powder in her diaper bag, but I didn't. She wanted a bottle and was letting me know in no uncertain terms. Desperate, I purchased a hot chocolate from a vendor, let it cool down, and put it in her bottle. At least it'd be something milky and warm. But I guess it was still too hot for her baby mouth, and she screamed and cried and wouldn't drink it, even half an hour later when it was actually cool. It was so stressful, and that night ended in one of the biggest blow-ups Daphne's dad and I had ever had to that point.
That won't happen with Mal! I always have his go-to. It's always here. It's a huge blessing!
I promise you, when I feed him in public, it's not my first choice. But also, I'm not really thinking about you. Like, I'm not trying to entertain you or be shocking or anything. If I *am* thinking about you, it's because I want him to be quiet and happy in public, and this is the thing I do before I just take him outside and give up on dinner myself. It doesn't happen a lot anymore, but it still happens. I never head out looking forward to nursing Mal in various locations, though. It's a necessity.
That said, I've heard some moms complain if people, or specifically men, "look at" them. Ehh. I get it. It's not "normalized" (thus the need for World Breastfeeding Awareness Week). It's different. Your eye might be drawn. I don't care. But if I catch your eye, you might want to smile or something so I'll know we're being pleasant. And if you have a son who can't seem to stop looking, tell him to come over and say, "Hi!" to me! Then it's like I'm a real person, not just a face attached to a floating boob.
I hope for my son's sake that he grows up seeing a lot of breasts feeding a lot of babies. Then maybe it won't be such a "hehe heh" thing for him.
Now he's awake from his nap and is surprisingly unimpressed with my blogging. So for now... Eat hearty, me babies!
I'm lucky to live in Austin, where I've never had so much as a raised eyebrow. What about you, though? What are some things that you've heard? Leave them in the comments!
Friday, July 31, 2015
My Opinions on Things About Which NO ONE Will Care
Okay, people. I'm going to set the record straight about a few things, because it's either this or burn social media to the ground... and I don't know how to do that.
Here's the deal: We all have opinions (and these are mine). They're not all valid, but they're our right to have. However, sometimes, corporate "opinions" (often in the form of "infographics" or "memes") become so overwhelmingly prevalent, that it's just too much for this lady to handle.
Also, please excuse the curmudgeonly tone of this entry. I'm just starting a fun new lady cycle, and I also have a clogged lady duct, and though many of my male readers might think it's a fantasy come true to stay home all day playing with a boob, I can assure you that this has not been an enjoyable day.
Onward and... downward.
1. PEOPLE'S BEING MAD ABOUT A LION GETTING POINTLESSLY SHOT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ANY OTHER "LEGITIMATE" ISSUE. Firstly, because people are mostly mad online, which is the laziest form of anger. Secondly, I can be mad about animal cruelty (or behavior unbecoming someone claiming to be a sportsman) and still be even more angry about many other things. So. Many. "Causes." have been posting stuff all week to the tune of: "Oh, you can dismember and sell unborn babies but you can't kill a lion?" and "We're burning up the media with lion news, but we're not supposed to Tweet #blacklivesmatter?" Listen, keep fighting those fights. I promise you, people's upset about the slaughter of a big cat isn't taking away from anything else.
2. PLEASE, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY STOP POSTING CRAP ABOUT SOFT DRINKS. Guess what? It's 2015. No one thinks sodas are healthy. No one is deluded into thinking that drinking sugary, nutritionally-deficient beverages are a positive thing for the old human body, the same way no one thinks that eating cake is going to produce rock-hard abs and better heart health. But, like alcohol and unlike cigarettes, in moderation, having a soda every once in a while might be a lifestyle choice that makes people *happy*. So please shut up.
The graphic making the rounds this week was a re-do of a re-do of a re-do of a thing produced 10 years ago (even though this article, which addresses that damned "info"graphic with SCIENCE, says it was from 2010), and it's just not news.
3. IF YOUR "NEWS" ITEM REFERS TO ANY ELECTED (OR APPOINTED OFFICIAL) BY A DISRESPECTFUL NICKNAME, GO FIND A MORE LEGITIMATE SOURCE OR DON'T SHARE. Maybe you have a right to be ticked off about this or that, but when your article comes from a URL that's loaded with bias or a site that refers to people as "President Poopy Pants" or "Secretary Stick-Up-Butt" or whatever... Dude, that's just rude. And we wonder why our kids don't have any respect? If you can't disagree with someone without slinging playground epithets at them, then your point is invalid. If you can't find someone who agrees with your point who can articulate it without the same, then all of you need to find a better point of view.
4. TAKE TWO MINUTES TO FIND THE ORIGINAL SOURCE AND LINK TO THAT SO THAT THE ORIGINAL CREATOR CAN GET INTERNET CRED, MAN! Once a video or picture goes "viral," other people start posting it all over the place. This week, someone posted to his Facebook business's page a video from YouTube that had gone viral the week before. People on Facebook discovered the FB video and shared it, which means that reposter got the clicks that belonged to the original creator of the video, not to him. The original video is awesome, and it's here, if you want to click on it and give the girl her props. I was going to link to the re-poster's site, but realized that it auto plays and so nope. No click-throughs for him.
This applies also to BuzzFeed, Hello Giggles, Bored Panda, Upworthy, FaithIt, and any number of sites who then post the links to social media promising one of several things: It will make you cry, you won't believe it, your faith in mankind will be restored, or your head will explode in a firework of ennui. If you must click on clickbait, STOP THE VIDEO before it starts and click on it so it opens up in YouTube and the person who made it gets credit.
Speaking of which, HOW CAN I GET A JOB FINDING VIDEOS I THINK ARE COOL AND SHARING THEM AND GETTING PAID CASH MONEY FOR IT?! (I'm practicing with the all caps writing; that seems to be a thing.)
5. THINK THROUGH THINGS BEFORE YOU POST MEAN-SPIRITED "JOKES" AND MEMES. Especially, I'll add, if you claim to love Jesus. But, really, even if you don't and you want to be a friend to anyone in your social media circle, think it through.
Oh my gosh, were you so sick of Caitlyn Jenner and this generation's freaks (although, really, she's pretty old; like, older than I am; like, closer to my parents' generation) that you felt better posting the picture of a cat that said, "Caitlyn Jenner's dog"? Whoo, good times.
Except what if a friend of yours has a kid struggling with gender identity? I know it seems pretty stupid to those of us who are cisgender. I mean, I'm a girl, right? What's there to "decide"? Guess what else? I've NEVER struggled with an alcohol addiction. I can drink or I can not drink; I really don't care. I leave it way more than I take it, and it's nothing to me. So, come on, "alcoholism" isn't really an illness. It's just someone's poor choices and they should deal with it right. Like I do.
Sounds pretty insensitive, right?
Imagine your very best friend has this secret, and it's hurting his heart: His daughter doesn't "feel" female, and this whole thing is very foreign to him. He doesn't want to feel ashamed, of his parenting or of his kid, but you posted that stupid meme, and basically said, "I am not a safe person! I have nothing for you but judgment and mockery!" Is that what you want to say to your best friend? It's easy for us to think, "Well, no, I mean, if it happened to someone near me, of course..." so why not start practicing empathy and thoughtfulness NOW?
I don't think anyone going through anything like this is having a great time. There might be some "celebration" once they've been through a struggle and come out the other side. But I've heard several times recently, "It's just so sad; when a kid 'comes out,' 'they' are so welcoming..." Well, if you don't like it, then GIVE THEM OTHER WELCOMING OPTIONS.
6. FINALLY, PEOPLE OF ALL POLITICAL LEANINGS HAVE SNARKY OPINIONS, BUT THE CATTIEST, UGLIEST THINGS I SEE TEND TO BE POSTED BY SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES. You guys, I'm not kidding. Calling people with opposite views "idiots," and just outright jeering and poisonous attitudes. I remember when the Bush II administration was winding down and liberals were celebrating, all of these same people were just horrified by the lack of respect and the downright meanness of the comedians, democrats, etc. Well, you guys have proven you can be just as bad, and even worse. And a lot of you are Christians, which is the part that embarrasses me. I mean, I can be a jerk. I'm probably being a jerk now. But I try not to be just hateful and dismissive of other people. Let's raise the bar a little bit.
So... my duct cleared, and my mind is clear, and I'm done. Let's keep it clean, people. Thanks.
Here's the deal: We all have opinions (and these are mine). They're not all valid, but they're our right to have. However, sometimes, corporate "opinions" (often in the form of "infographics" or "memes") become so overwhelmingly prevalent, that it's just too much for this lady to handle.
Also, please excuse the curmudgeonly tone of this entry. I'm just starting a fun new lady cycle, and I also have a clogged lady duct, and though many of my male readers might think it's a fantasy come true to stay home all day playing with a boob, I can assure you that this has not been an enjoyable day.
Onward and... downward.
1. PEOPLE'S BEING MAD ABOUT A LION GETTING POINTLESSLY SHOT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ANY OTHER "LEGITIMATE" ISSUE. Firstly, because people are mostly mad online, which is the laziest form of anger. Secondly, I can be mad about animal cruelty (or behavior unbecoming someone claiming to be a sportsman) and still be even more angry about many other things. So. Many. "Causes." have been posting stuff all week to the tune of: "Oh, you can dismember and sell unborn babies but you can't kill a lion?" and "We're burning up the media with lion news, but we're not supposed to Tweet #blacklivesmatter?" Listen, keep fighting those fights. I promise you, people's upset about the slaughter of a big cat isn't taking away from anything else.
2. PLEASE, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY STOP POSTING CRAP ABOUT SOFT DRINKS. Guess what? It's 2015. No one thinks sodas are healthy. No one is deluded into thinking that drinking sugary, nutritionally-deficient beverages are a positive thing for the old human body, the same way no one thinks that eating cake is going to produce rock-hard abs and better heart health. But, like alcohol and unlike cigarettes, in moderation, having a soda every once in a while might be a lifestyle choice that makes people *happy*. So please shut up.
The graphic making the rounds this week was a re-do of a re-do of a re-do of a thing produced 10 years ago (even though this article, which addresses that damned "info"graphic with SCIENCE, says it was from 2010), and it's just not news.
3. IF YOUR "NEWS" ITEM REFERS TO ANY ELECTED (OR APPOINTED OFFICIAL) BY A DISRESPECTFUL NICKNAME, GO FIND A MORE LEGITIMATE SOURCE OR DON'T SHARE. Maybe you have a right to be ticked off about this or that, but when your article comes from a URL that's loaded with bias or a site that refers to people as "President Poopy Pants" or "Secretary Stick-Up-Butt" or whatever... Dude, that's just rude. And we wonder why our kids don't have any respect? If you can't disagree with someone without slinging playground epithets at them, then your point is invalid. If you can't find someone who agrees with your point who can articulate it without the same, then all of you need to find a better point of view.
4. TAKE TWO MINUTES TO FIND THE ORIGINAL SOURCE AND LINK TO THAT SO THAT THE ORIGINAL CREATOR CAN GET INTERNET CRED, MAN! Once a video or picture goes "viral," other people start posting it all over the place. This week, someone posted to his Facebook business's page a video from YouTube that had gone viral the week before. People on Facebook discovered the FB video and shared it, which means that reposter got the clicks that belonged to the original creator of the video, not to him. The original video is awesome, and it's here, if you want to click on it and give the girl her props. I was going to link to the re-poster's site, but realized that it auto plays and so nope. No click-throughs for him.
This applies also to BuzzFeed, Hello Giggles, Bored Panda, Upworthy, FaithIt, and any number of sites who then post the links to social media promising one of several things: It will make you cry, you won't believe it, your faith in mankind will be restored, or your head will explode in a firework of ennui. If you must click on clickbait, STOP THE VIDEO before it starts and click on it so it opens up in YouTube and the person who made it gets credit.
Speaking of which, HOW CAN I GET A JOB FINDING VIDEOS I THINK ARE COOL AND SHARING THEM AND GETTING PAID CASH MONEY FOR IT?! (I'm practicing with the all caps writing; that seems to be a thing.)
5. THINK THROUGH THINGS BEFORE YOU POST MEAN-SPIRITED "JOKES" AND MEMES. Especially, I'll add, if you claim to love Jesus. But, really, even if you don't and you want to be a friend to anyone in your social media circle, think it through.
Oh my gosh, were you so sick of Caitlyn Jenner and this generation's freaks (although, really, she's pretty old; like, older than I am; like, closer to my parents' generation) that you felt better posting the picture of a cat that said, "Caitlyn Jenner's dog"? Whoo, good times.
Except what if a friend of yours has a kid struggling with gender identity? I know it seems pretty stupid to those of us who are cisgender. I mean, I'm a girl, right? What's there to "decide"? Guess what else? I've NEVER struggled with an alcohol addiction. I can drink or I can not drink; I really don't care. I leave it way more than I take it, and it's nothing to me. So, come on, "alcoholism" isn't really an illness. It's just someone's poor choices and they should deal with it right. Like I do.
Sounds pretty insensitive, right?
Imagine your very best friend has this secret, and it's hurting his heart: His daughter doesn't "feel" female, and this whole thing is very foreign to him. He doesn't want to feel ashamed, of his parenting or of his kid, but you posted that stupid meme, and basically said, "I am not a safe person! I have nothing for you but judgment and mockery!" Is that what you want to say to your best friend? It's easy for us to think, "Well, no, I mean, if it happened to someone near me, of course..." so why not start practicing empathy and thoughtfulness NOW?
I don't think anyone going through anything like this is having a great time. There might be some "celebration" once they've been through a struggle and come out the other side. But I've heard several times recently, "It's just so sad; when a kid 'comes out,' 'they' are so welcoming..." Well, if you don't like it, then GIVE THEM OTHER WELCOMING OPTIONS.
6. FINALLY, PEOPLE OF ALL POLITICAL LEANINGS HAVE SNARKY OPINIONS, BUT THE CATTIEST, UGLIEST THINGS I SEE TEND TO BE POSTED BY SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES. You guys, I'm not kidding. Calling people with opposite views "idiots," and just outright jeering and poisonous attitudes. I remember when the Bush II administration was winding down and liberals were celebrating, all of these same people were just horrified by the lack of respect and the downright meanness of the comedians, democrats, etc. Well, you guys have proven you can be just as bad, and even worse. And a lot of you are Christians, which is the part that embarrasses me. I mean, I can be a jerk. I'm probably being a jerk now. But I try not to be just hateful and dismissive of other people. Let's raise the bar a little bit.
So... my duct cleared, and my mind is clear, and I'm done. Let's keep it clean, people. Thanks.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Review: Modkat Litter Box (after a month of owning three)
When we moved, we bought new litter boxes. We have three. In the Nuthaus, they were in the bathroom, our bedroom, and the unused fireplace (with half a curtain hanging in front of it for privacy and looks). Fortunately, here at Vogelfutter we have been able to move two of them to the bathrooms (one in a closet) and one in the laundry room.
Let me explain what my life looked like during the past few months at the Nuthaus: We had three covered/lidded litter boxes, with swinging doors for the cats' entries. One of our cats thought she had a UTI, and thus behaved as though she did (this is a thing cats can do; like, she was diagnosed with what's basically hypochondria, but cats can actually make themselves really sick, and she was even bleeding a little bit, but there was no physical reason). She was visiting the litter boxes 30+ times per day, often in rapid succession, one after another.
When I woke up, I'd have to sweep the bathroom floor before I could use the restroom, because Mal would want to crawl around and there was litter everywhere. Much of the time when I was... doing my business... I'd have to be REALLY exaggerated in making faces and saying, "Ewww! Don't put your hand in there! It's DIRTY! That's where the cats poop! YUCK!" Unfortunately, this typically backfired, as Mal thought it was hysterical and would reach inside, anyway.
We'd go into Mal's room, and there would be cat litter on the crib mattress, as that's a favorite resting spot for the kittehs. So I'd swipe that off and have to sweep his floor, too.
Later, when Mal bored with playing in his room after diaper change, he'd crawl back to our room to make sure his dad got up in time for work. I'd have to run in there and sweep our room so he wouldn't track through the litter.
Then, during the day, I'd sweep the whole house at least once, and the areas around the litter boxes two or three additional times. And I'd vacuum.
There was litter on the mantel, the coffee table, the bookshelves, and window sills.
It felt like a constant battle, and I was exhausted. I hated the cats. I wanted them to disappear.
Then there was that Mal liked to pull up on the litter boxes, and they were filthy. They all had filters in the top, to keep the smell from getting out, but that meant that there were lots of nooks and crannies where dust and old litter and cat hair could collect. We cleaned them regularly, but they always looked dusty and were dirty. Also, Mal sometimes decided that banging on the top wasn't enough, and he'd reach in, like that punch game on "The Price is Right."
I don't think he ever retrieved a treasure, but it was just a battle to try to keep his hands out of that stuff! (I guess it looks a lot like a sand box with which he *could* play, now that I ponder it.)
So.
Before we moved, we looked at the Modkat Litter Box.
You can see all of the features on the website, so I won't do a repeat here. Also, you might notice that right now the boxes are on sale for the low low price of $171! Now, when we bought them, they were the full $180.
No, we're not suckers.
Yes, we asked ourselves, "Is anything worth spending almost $600 on litter management?"
Then James asked me something, and in the throes of dealing with this, I did not hesitate with an affirmative answer: "Over the next two years, will it be worth it not to have to fight Mal?"
And we went for it.
Let me explain what my life looked like during the past few months at the Nuthaus: We had three covered/lidded litter boxes, with swinging doors for the cats' entries. One of our cats thought she had a UTI, and thus behaved as though she did (this is a thing cats can do; like, she was diagnosed with what's basically hypochondria, but cats can actually make themselves really sick, and she was even bleeding a little bit, but there was no physical reason). She was visiting the litter boxes 30+ times per day, often in rapid succession, one after another.
When I woke up, I'd have to sweep the bathroom floor before I could use the restroom, because Mal would want to crawl around and there was litter everywhere. Much of the time when I was... doing my business... I'd have to be REALLY exaggerated in making faces and saying, "Ewww! Don't put your hand in there! It's DIRTY! That's where the cats poop! YUCK!" Unfortunately, this typically backfired, as Mal thought it was hysterical and would reach inside, anyway.
We'd go into Mal's room, and there would be cat litter on the crib mattress, as that's a favorite resting spot for the kittehs. So I'd swipe that off and have to sweep his floor, too.
Later, when Mal bored with playing in his room after diaper change, he'd crawl back to our room to make sure his dad got up in time for work. I'd have to run in there and sweep our room so he wouldn't track through the litter.
Then, during the day, I'd sweep the whole house at least once, and the areas around the litter boxes two or three additional times. And I'd vacuum.
There was litter on the mantel, the coffee table, the bookshelves, and window sills.
It felt like a constant battle, and I was exhausted. I hated the cats. I wanted them to disappear.
Then there was that Mal liked to pull up on the litter boxes, and they were filthy. They all had filters in the top, to keep the smell from getting out, but that meant that there were lots of nooks and crannies where dust and old litter and cat hair could collect. We cleaned them regularly, but they always looked dusty and were dirty. Also, Mal sometimes decided that banging on the top wasn't enough, and he'd reach in, like that punch game on "The Price is Right."
I don't think he ever retrieved a treasure, but it was just a battle to try to keep his hands out of that stuff! (I guess it looks a lot like a sand box with which he *could* play, now that I ponder it.)
So.
Before we moved, we looked at the Modkat Litter Box.
You can see all of the features on the website, so I won't do a repeat here. Also, you might notice that right now the boxes are on sale for the low low price of $171! Now, when we bought them, they were the full $180.
No, we're not suckers.
Yes, we asked ourselves, "Is anything worth spending almost $600 on litter management?"
Then James asked me something, and in the throes of dealing with this, I did not hesitate with an affirmative answer: "Over the next two years, will it be worth it not to have to fight Mal?"
And we went for it.
We've been here just over a month. What do I think?
First, let me tell you what we did:
1) We didn't get black. The black boxes look so sleek, but one of the reviews I read said that even "dust-free" cat litter left dust on the plastic, making it look dirty. I got one red, figuring that if it looked janky, I could move it into the laundry room. Actually, you can see a thin film of dust on it, but it's not too noticeable, and I like how it looks in our bathroom. But white looks the nicest.
2) We made a commitment to clean out the boxes every day. I just did all three, and it took 3.5 minutes, including the time it took me to get a second bag because the first one was torn. So we're looking at spending half an hour or so a week on scooping out the boxes. BONUS...
3) Since we clean out every day, there aren't huge messes, and we haven't had to dump and refill yet. We top off every week or so, but I bought a 42-pound bag of litter before we moved in, filled each box, and we've been topping off... and we still have about 1/3 of the bag left. I was buying 14-17 pounds of cat litter EVERY WEEK because we were emptying it and starting over every weekend.
4) We use Fresh Step Multi-Cat. I hate clay litter. I love pine litter. However, when we lived in the trailer, we had awful fruit flies with the pine. Apparently, that just happens because there are larvae in it and they hatch and become... icky. We had the corn mix at Nuthaus for a while, and it got everywhere. Same with the really fine and "light" litter. We landed on Fresh Step Multi-Cat because it works best. I seriously think we've tried everything over the past couple of years.
5) We feed the cats a high-quality, no-filler food that cuts down on digestive waste. Better for the cats, easier for us. Probably a wash in the cost department, since they don't eat as much. (But, yes, it hurts spending more per pound on cat food than I do on some - most - of our meat.)
So.
Thursday is my day to sweep and mop all of the hard floors at Vogelfutter. Obviously, I touch-up sweep more regularly, but not necessarily every day. And certainly not multiple times per day. The boxes have cut down on tracking immensely. Like, I don't hate the cats anymore. I don't want to snuggle up with any of them, but I don't actively want them to pack their bags and get out, either. The other people around here seem fond of them.
The boxes take up less floor space than the other boxes we had. Their footprint is smaller, but they are taller, and there is plenty of room for the cats. Also, they are basically square, with no stick-outy parts, like where the lid to the other boxes hinged on, etc.
The boxes are sleek, with no place for dust and litter to collect. If litter gets on the lid, you can either sweep it back into the box with the brush on side of the scoop (each box comes with its own, so you don't have to lug one dirty scoop all over your house), or just open the lid and the litter falls back in. There is no way for the litter to fall off of the lid onto the floor unless maybe you were trying reallllly hard.
Because the boxes are so deep, my toddler cannot reach the litter. This is not to say that he can't see it, and that he can't drop things into the open hole. Oh, yes, he can. But I typically just wait until he's on to something else, remove the offending item, scald it, and am grateful that the child can't grab a handful of doo. Another benefit of cleaning the boxes every day is that whatever ends up in there usually just ends up with some clay granules on it. Nothing too disgusting so far.
Some of the reviews talk about how the boxes don't hold in the smells. I guess they don't, but I've only noticed a smell coming from one of the boxes (in the laundry room) one time since we moved. I'm guessing a cat had just gone, but that's also the most popularly-located box, and the most humid room, so it has a lot standing against it. Personally, I think it's better for the cats because the smell doesn't build up inside. We have one cat who will poop in the floor in front of the box if the odor in the box is not to her liking. That hasn't happened since we moved. (Again, probably also a function of our cleaning every day.)
The boxes have rubber feet, so if your cat is particularly enthusiastic about exiting the box, they're still not going to push it across the floor. Oh, no one else has cats that do that? Hmm. Must be nice.
So, all in all, my take is: Yes, it's freaking ridiculous that the litter boxes cost as much as they do. But we did a lot of research, and there's nothing that matches both the function and the look of these. I mean, you can throw $40 at a Clevercat top-entry box, but it's freaking huge and looks like you just sawed a hole in a storage container. Plus... so many nooks. So many crannies.
In the end, we were fortunate to be able to afford these, and I can tell you that my quality of life as a stay-home mom has improved immeasurably. Love them. Cannot recommend them highly enough.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Hopefully (?) Farewell to the Nuthaus
We regretfully left the Nuthaus behind around June 23, for the first time.
We spent the weekend filling up Bungo Boxes (which are awesome) with almost the last of our stuff, I went to work, Laura shut the cats into Mal's mostly-empty room, the movers loaded up the truck, and then we should have been done.
I dropped by that evening to pick up the cats. I wish I had a video of that trip. It wouldn't be as much "fun" as most: I've learned that it's safest to just lock the varmints up and make them suffer. (It's not like we were driving cross country...that's a totally different lesson).
I think that our contact at the management company started pestering us the next day about finishing up our move out. Because, hey, if they manage to get this sucker re-leased before the end of July, maybe we could get some of our last month's rent back!
I don't remember the leasing arrangements when I moved in. Laura handled those. I think she probably paid for them. I don't remember whether the security deposit was something like "first and last months' rent, plus the pet deposit" or anything along those lines.
I do know that we tried to convince the management company to let us vacate the house when we actually left. They played hard-ball about most of the nickel and dime bullshit. They let us turn off the gas, since it's such a huge safety concern, but our lease wouldn't allow us to do things like turn off the lights or stop paying them rent.
OK, that was fine. If history is any indicator, the house will probably stand vacant for ~8 months while the owners hire more illegal immigrants to perform more sub-par work to make the place look like its habitable for the next set of suckers who come along.
That sounds pretty bitter. It is, but not the way it sounds.
I absolutely love that house and its location. I wish there'd been enough room to justify buying it. And that we could have afforded it. Maybe that and the middle house on the lot would have been perfect for our family.
Except for things like the plumbing, the crazy wiring, the lack of insulation, the storage, the insane price...it's probably best that we walked away when we did.
When I did walk away, I made a point to turn off absolutely everything. Laura had already emptied and scrubbed out the fridge. The lights and fans get triggered pretty much randomly (our guess is RF from the fire station up the street), so I made absolutely certain to turn off those switches.
That also turns off the kitchen stove. (Yes, the wiring in this house is extremely screwy).
And, of course, I made it a point to turn off the A/C at its thermostat.
I felt really bad for the housecleaner who showed up a day or so later to deal with the grime we'd left behind. I wouldn't have blamed her at all for turning the A/C down to 60, cranking the job out, then putting things back the way she found them when she left.
According to our contact at the management company, she did a horrible job (in all fairness, the dishwasher is covered with Mal's grubby handprints). And we needed to finish getting our shit out, ASAP. Even though, technically, it was still our property.
For anyone who isn't all that familiar with Laura and me, that particular tactic will never work. Unless you're going for the exact opposite effect.
We made it absolutely clear that we're all in favor of someone else moving in quickly. It would be wonderful if they'd take back ownership, do whatever it is they must to make the place habitable, and start making money from new renters.
But not on our dime. Until they're willing to take ownership back, that is our house.
The management company pestered us with little blips and nudges about getting the rest of our stuff out of the way so other people can move in until we expressed our concerns that they might do the unthinkable and bring in contractors on our dime.
Which they'd already done.
We got last month's electric bill today. Somehow, the Nuthaus (where I had very deliberately done everything except unscrew those stupid fuses, because we want to maintain the terms of our lease) had a higher electric bill than Vogel Futter.
Laura was planning to go back to try to figure out what was going on, but Mal thwarted her plans. So I swung by there on my way home. I really should send them a bill for the 2 hours that I wasted.
I can really sum up the entire problem by writing that the thermostat was set at 77 when I arrived. We don't set the thermostat that low in a home we're occupying.
And that most of the ceiling fans were running. And the lights that power the stove were turned back on. And that the front hose bib had been left dripping.
Oh, and some construction company had added closets to all three "bedrooms."
Mostly. There are a bunch of signs taped to the doors promising "closets soon!" And now there are some really big Ikea-style shelving units pretending to be closets in all three of the private areas.
Maybe the owners think this will let them legally market the place as a 3 bedroom? Laura says the closet's the distinguishing feature. Our home inspector refused to classify areas as bedrooms unless the windows opened...I don't know where the line gets drawn.
But I do know that I'm extremely upset that our landlord took back just enough ownership to commission work in a house for which we were legally responsible. I suppose his lawyer's already told him it's OK.
I really want to double-check with my lawyer. I could find lots of uses for those shelves.
We spent the weekend filling up Bungo Boxes (which are awesome) with almost the last of our stuff, I went to work, Laura shut the cats into Mal's mostly-empty room, the movers loaded up the truck, and then we should have been done.
I dropped by that evening to pick up the cats. I wish I had a video of that trip. It wouldn't be as much "fun" as most: I've learned that it's safest to just lock the varmints up and make them suffer. (It's not like we were driving cross country...that's a totally different lesson).
I think that our contact at the management company started pestering us the next day about finishing up our move out. Because, hey, if they manage to get this sucker re-leased before the end of July, maybe we could get some of our last month's rent back!
I don't remember the leasing arrangements when I moved in. Laura handled those. I think she probably paid for them. I don't remember whether the security deposit was something like "first and last months' rent, plus the pet deposit" or anything along those lines.
I do know that we tried to convince the management company to let us vacate the house when we actually left. They played hard-ball about most of the nickel and dime bullshit. They let us turn off the gas, since it's such a huge safety concern, but our lease wouldn't allow us to do things like turn off the lights or stop paying them rent.
OK, that was fine. If history is any indicator, the house will probably stand vacant for ~8 months while the owners hire more illegal immigrants to perform more sub-par work to make the place look like its habitable for the next set of suckers who come along.
That sounds pretty bitter. It is, but not the way it sounds.
I absolutely love that house and its location. I wish there'd been enough room to justify buying it. And that we could have afforded it. Maybe that and the middle house on the lot would have been perfect for our family.
Except for things like the plumbing, the crazy wiring, the lack of insulation, the storage, the insane price...it's probably best that we walked away when we did.
When I did walk away, I made a point to turn off absolutely everything. Laura had already emptied and scrubbed out the fridge. The lights and fans get triggered pretty much randomly (our guess is RF from the fire station up the street), so I made absolutely certain to turn off those switches.
That also turns off the kitchen stove. (Yes, the wiring in this house is extremely screwy).
And, of course, I made it a point to turn off the A/C at its thermostat.
I felt really bad for the housecleaner who showed up a day or so later to deal with the grime we'd left behind. I wouldn't have blamed her at all for turning the A/C down to 60, cranking the job out, then putting things back the way she found them when she left.
According to our contact at the management company, she did a horrible job (in all fairness, the dishwasher is covered with Mal's grubby handprints). And we needed to finish getting our shit out, ASAP. Even though, technically, it was still our property.
For anyone who isn't all that familiar with Laura and me, that particular tactic will never work. Unless you're going for the exact opposite effect.
We made it absolutely clear that we're all in favor of someone else moving in quickly. It would be wonderful if they'd take back ownership, do whatever it is they must to make the place habitable, and start making money from new renters.
But not on our dime. Until they're willing to take ownership back, that is our house.
The management company pestered us with little blips and nudges about getting the rest of our stuff out of the way so other people can move in until we expressed our concerns that they might do the unthinkable and bring in contractors on our dime.
Which they'd already done.
We got last month's electric bill today. Somehow, the Nuthaus (where I had very deliberately done everything except unscrew those stupid fuses, because we want to maintain the terms of our lease) had a higher electric bill than Vogel Futter.
Laura was planning to go back to try to figure out what was going on, but Mal thwarted her plans. So I swung by there on my way home. I really should send them a bill for the 2 hours that I wasted.
I can really sum up the entire problem by writing that the thermostat was set at 77 when I arrived. We don't set the thermostat that low in a home we're occupying.
And that most of the ceiling fans were running. And the lights that power the stove were turned back on. And that the front hose bib had been left dripping.
Oh, and some construction company had added closets to all three "bedrooms."
Mostly. There are a bunch of signs taped to the doors promising "closets soon!" And now there are some really big Ikea-style shelving units pretending to be closets in all three of the private areas.
Maybe the owners think this will let them legally market the place as a 3 bedroom? Laura says the closet's the distinguishing feature. Our home inspector refused to classify areas as bedrooms unless the windows opened...I don't know where the line gets drawn.
But I do know that I'm extremely upset that our landlord took back just enough ownership to commission work in a house for which we were legally responsible. I suppose his lawyer's already told him it's OK.
I really want to double-check with my lawyer. I could find lots of uses for those shelves.
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