Beer-Making, Part Four: Oh, the humanity!

A few days ago, I heard the sound of shattering glass and was startled, but had no idea from where it had come. I went into James' office, and Aish seemed to be telling me from where the sound had emanated... But it was impossible. She was looking directly at a drawer in James' computer desk. How could glass break in there?

As I stood, glancing around the office, though, I started to smell something sweet-yeasty-smelling. I looked down, and it appeared that the desk was bleeding. But, no: It was beer. Beer was pouring out from under the cabinet.

I was still pretty dense; I couldn't understand this. Still, I opened the bottom drawer and found, among the bottles James had apparently stored in there, one of his fermenting new bottles had exploded. I cleared out the intact bottles and then it occurred to me to take this picture.

Yeah. I'm very glad that wasn't sitting on a shelf somewhere, out in the open, especially near the cat.

There was no way to stop the beer from just spilling out all over the floor. I had to hose out the drawer, too. And one of James' favorite bottles is history. Le sigh.

According to this blog, we did everything right... except for maybe one thing: Cool/dark place. We live in Austin, TX. Dark, we can give the beer. Cool? Not this time of year. We only cool our house to 78, and the thermostat is in the living room, which is probably the mildest room of the house. In the mornings, James' office gets pretty warm (that's where this happened) and in the afternoon, our bedroom heats up.

This morning, the same kind of thing happened, though it wasn't as dramatic-sounding. Still looked pretty horrifying.

(Direct all comments about the boxes and whatnot to James; it's his "Hobbit Hole" and he keeps it as he pleases.)

The reason it hadn't sounded quite as clinky/explosive was that this box happened to have the cardboard divider panels in it.

So there wasn't as much collateral damage. Still, especially after having read that blog, I'm glad it was in a box. I'm thinking we need to box ALL of it up; there are a few bottles sitting in the floor, I believe, and the cat (and the computer) spends a lot of time in the office.

James said he'd never had a beer explode before, and that the friends he's had who did mostly seemed to have the bases kind of blow off. I also wonder if the fact that these are self-sealing lids has any relevance. My only other idea was that the first bottle was larger than the average beer bottle, so that perhaps the head space we gave at the top wasn't adequate for a larger volume of carbonating liquid. Anyone else have any clues?

S'mores! But even MORE than just s'mores...

Several weeks ago, after we'd brewed the beer, we were left with a giant mush pot of barley and assorted grains.

We do not like to waste food items around here. James mentioned that he and his brother had tried to make an oatmeal-type breakfast out of it before, and that it tasted really bad. I decided to dry it out first and see what might happen.

It spent about a day in a 170-degree oven and the dried stuff actually tasted not bad at all. It was mildly sweet and very crunchy because the barley still has some hulls.

I decided to make two things: 1) granola bars (that turned out to be a disaster because of user error, but would have been lovely had I followed the recipe here correctly.) 2) and barley "flour."

At first, I wasn't certain what to do with the barley, but after a couple of days, it hit me: homemade s'mores. But instead of graham flour, I'd use this. I couldn't do it immediately, because to attempt such a thing when Daphne was gone seemed very wrong.

Thankfully (on many levels), she came back last week, and once we got through the bottling drama of the weekend, yesterday seemed like a great day to attempt this project!

First, I used Alton Brown's graham cracker recipe, but really only as a guide. For instance: I didn't use graham flour, I used milled brewer's barley et al.; I don't have a food scale (anymore: battery acid got one of the nodes), so I measured in cups and teaspoons and eyeballs; I was concerned that I didn't have enough brown sugar, so I supplemented with dark chocolate chunks. All of this makes sense, right? My point is: "If it feels right, do it" is horrible life advice, and it's an often disastrous cooking tip, but in this case... it happened to turn out okay. Try it sometime.

Dry stuff before processing.

Dry stuff after processing.

After adding butter.

After buttermilk, molasses, and vanilla. Look at those beautiful chunks!

At this point, the dough had to be refrigerated for at least half an hour, so Daphne and I went to work on the marshmallows. Yes, that's right. We made those, too. Yes, I know that you can buy them at Wal-Mart. But I can guarantee they're not this tasty, or this much fun. It's science!

Hey, guess what? We also use Alton Brown's marshmallow recipe. I've never had it fail on me!

Three packets of gelatin dissolved in a bit of water.

Boil the sugar slurry until it hits 240 degrees.

Meanwhile, Daphne prepares a sprayed pan with an equal mixture of corn starch and powdered sugar.

Once the syrup hits 240, it's time to add it to the gelatin. Slowly.

Verrrrry slowly.

 Next, you whip the mixture for a very. long. time. 12-15 minutes, as a matter of fact.

It's already gaining volume!

Still growing!

 Toward the end, your mixer will be whining in protest. That's how you know it's done!

It's tempting just to eat it now.

Finally, you pour the mixture into a prepared pan and then cover it with the same sugar/cornstarch mixture and let it sit overnight to dry.

Then, of course, there is this.

 After the ceremonial licking of the bowl, we moved back to the process of cracker-making.

Put the dough between two sheets of parchment.

Roll it out and put it on a cooking sheet.

You need to cut the crackers before they bake. Also, fork holes allow the steam to escape without causing the crackers to rise.

The finished product, darker and more textured than Alton's, but looking just as charmingly rustic.

This afternoon, D and I cut the marshmallows. We knew that we wanted to use them mostly for s'mores, so we cut them pretty big. I don't know whether you looked at the instructions for making mini marshmallows, but that whole deal with piping sounds very labor-intensive. (If that made you laugh, then you can just go read another blog.)

The dried slab.

After cutting, you coat the marshmallows in the sugar/cornstarch mixture to keep them from sticking to each other. Like this:

Okay, okay, okay... Here's the SERIOUS FOOD PORN!

After dinner, we made s'mores. We just toasted them, open-faced, in the toaster oven, then opened OUR faces and shoved them in! SO delicious. Worth every minute that went into making them! (Plus, it was just fun.)

Beer-Making, Part 3: Bottling and Bubbling

After two weeks in the primary fermenter and one week in the secondary fermenter (officially called "carboys"), it was time to bottle James' honey blonde beer. We hot-washed and essentially baked the bottles to sterilize them for bottling.

All of these beer bottles in the dishwasher remind me of the Cathedral of Junk!

James found a few more self-topping bottles after we'd run the wash, so he washed them himself using a very cool (if very leaky) bottle-washing attachment for the sink.

Water violence!

At this point, we had to boil two cups of water, then dissolve sugar in that and boil it for another minute, then cool the liquid down to 80 degrees. The sugar's job is to reactivate the yeast. This is what will eventually carbonate the beer.

Enjoying an earlier incarnation of Jamesbeer.

James explained what we had done so far to bring Daphne up to speed, then it was time to move the beer out of the carboy and into the container we were going to use for bottling.

A good pump on the siphon, and we're off! The sugar water was already in the bottom of the bucket.

You siphon rather than pour the beer to 1) keep air out of it and 2) keep the yeast at the bottom of the carboy.

Ready for service!

James has a tap for the 5-gallon bucket, and a neat attachment for the end of the tube. The attachment is fitted so that you press it to the bottom of the bottle, and as long as it's depressed to the bottom, it is open. Once the beer reaches the top of the bottle, you pull up on the device, and it closes. When you pull the tube out, it leaves just enough space at the top of the bottle.

Then the non-self-closing bottles have to be capped.

He's working so hard!

Mmm! Yes! I do love me some beer. (This is a lie. I do love my husband and enjoy making things in the kitchen.)

Measuring the specific gravity of a sample, to check the alcohol content of the brew.

Now we just have to wait three weeks or so while the stuff carbonates. James said the flavor has mellowed a lot since a week ago, when it was pretty hoppy. He said now it's getting closer to a light summer beer. We'll see in a few weeks!

Beer-Making, Part 2: Siphoning and Secondary Fermentation

The beer has been fermenting for the past two weeks.

Mmmm... foamy!

Today "we" (James) just had to do a little moving around. It was time to put the beer into a secondary fermenter for a week or so. Also, we needed to get it out of Daphne's room since she'll be back next week. We ended up hiding it in the one tiny closet we have, so if you come over and see our bags packed and ready to go, we're not really on our way out the door. We just don't have anywhere else to ferment beer.

Gentlemen ,start your siphons!

Rudy checks in.

The yeast at the bottom. We didn't want to transfer that, so had to move the container then let it re-settle.

Two out of three Nuthaus cats agree: Watching siphoning action is fun!

If you want any of this yeast, it's in our back yard. You'll have to sift the wood mulch out, though.

So, that's it for now. Stay tuned for bottling!

Beer-Making, Part 1: Boiling, Brewing, and Boxers

James has brewed his own beer several times before. He has all of the equipment and only had to purchase the actual ingredients, which he did weeks and weeks ago at Austin Homebrew Supply.

Gotta give a shout-out to Austin Homebrew, by the way. We got our mozzarella cheese-making stuff there, and have recently purchased a kit to make hard cheese. Their staff is so helpful, and they love what they do, and they'll talk to you and help you decide what to do, then they'll make sure you have everything that you need. I'm definitely a fan!

Anyway, Sunday afternoon, "we" (this is mostly James, with my taking pictures and sometimes using a spare hand to hold something or to stir) started the process: cleaning and sterilizing equipment, and activating the brewer's yeast.

Some notes: 1) James had a spill on his bike Saturday afternoon, so that's what that's about. 2) The cool-down process languished into the wee hours of Tuesday morning, and clothes gradually came off as apparent bedtime approached. You know how it is. 3) Since James has done this before and had all of the equipment, the actual ingredients were fairly inexpensive. Less than $30 for 5 gallons of beer, including the water. 4) What you've heard is true: I don't particularly like beer (and that's being super generous). But I LOVE hanging out with my husband, I love making things in the kitchen, and I love science. So beer-brewing appeals to me. I've made German chocolate cakes for friends, too, and I'm not a huge fan of that, either. Can't we all just get along?

Yes. The man *will* clean stuff (that he finds important to clean).

He'll even use a flower-backed scrubber!

To activate the yeast, you have to smack the packet to open the nutrient pack inside.

To the left is what the yeast packet looked like immediately after we hit it.

Below is what it looked like 24 hours later.

Now I'm just going to follow this process with pictures, for the most part. If you need detailed instructions, you can find them here. Also, you can find recipe kits like the one we used here.

I'd say the yeast is good!

Thorough review of the instructions.

Barley, malt, and... one other thing; liquid malt extract (sugar), yeast, honey (sugar), and Galena (hops).

First, we needed 2 gallons of clean, filtered water.

In the water, you boil the grain the same way you'd brew tea. We realized, setting this up, that James hadn't gotten a grain bag (think tea bag, but bigger). So...

He ironically used a Halloween promotional Budweiser beer T-shirt!

After about half an hour of steeping, you pull out the grain bag and let it drip dry. No squeezing!

The beginnings of beer. It smells deceptively (according to me) good. Some might call it an accurate preview, but I felt about this smell the same way I feel about coffee. Glad it's filling up our house with the smell, but that's it.

After the initial brew, James added 5 pounds of liquid malt.

And a pound of honey.

Little known fact: Beer contains rabbit food. Okay, that's a joke. These are hops. They smell delightfully earthy and add a bitterness to beer. People seem to like that.

He added 1/4 of an ounce immediately after returning to the post-sugar boil, and then added another 1/4 of an ounce after 55 minutes, cooking only for 5 minutes after that.

The greenish yellow bits are the bottom of the picture are the disintegrating hops.

Here's where the laboratory science comes in!

You are supposed to lower the temperature of the beer as quickly as possible to 80 degrees. This coil drops into the brew, and you run cool water through the coil for... well, until you die, if our experience is any indication.

Cold water comes from the tap, then circles around in the copper coiling in the brew.

Extremely hot water comes out the other end.

147 degrees

117 degrees

The cool-down from boiling to 90 degrees took the better part of half an hour. An hour after THAT, the mixture was still hovering around 85. The ambient temperature in the house is 80, and we were getting nowhere fast. The water coming out of the end of the coils was cool, and we'd even dumped the contents of our ice-maker into the sink.

Eventually, we decided to dump the brew from one vat into another, and back and forth until it cooled off. This also served the dual purpose of aerating it, putting a nice foamy head on the stuff.

Finally!

By this time, it was well after midnight and some of us were getting sleepy! But there was a light at the end of the tunnel!

Now, we fill up the 5 gallon container. In Daphne's room, since she's gone and it's the darkest/coolest room in the house.

Topping it off with water.

Adding the yeast. Check out that foaming action!

James checking the specific gravity of the mixture, and realizing that he needs glasses because when it's dark and the print is small, we have some issues.

So, that's it for a week or so. We're leaving the mixture to ferment in Daphne's room. This morning, when I got up and went to check on it, I found that Carol had deemed herself the guardian of the beer. We can all rest assured. Check back for Part 2 late next week, when we move the mixture to another fermenter!