Welp, that was fast

As I mentioned recently, both James and I have both recently started new jobs. One of us has already quit.

Fortunately, the quitter was the one who was only going to make about $30 a week, so you don't have to worry too much about our financial outlook. I'm actually seriously considering starting to do mystery shops again. Not the ones that say "no children," which I did when D was little because D was zero distraction. Just the other ones.

Anyway, why? Why couldn't I do childcare for two-three freaking hours a week?

This wasn't a matter of my not liking other people's kids, because although that's often true, these kids were great. There were two other things. The first thing was on me, and I was prepared to suck it up if Mal loved it and kept wanting to go. But he spent the last half of the time last week begging to come home (they didn't meet today, which is the 5th Wednesday of the month), and then when I've asked him if he's looking forward to going back to the "new" church and playing with kids, he's said either, "No thanks" or "I don't want to go back."

I think the reason is that there were just TONS of kids, and Mal isn't used to the cacophony.
So that did it. I told them today I couldn't commit to it. D was (and REALLY is, but even when little) the same way. The main problem D had with the Disney cruise was how busy and loud and high-energy all of the kids' stuff was. On Royal Caribbean, they were so laid back that D wanted to spend time every day in there. Apparently Mal is the same way. It's just a lot of kids. Lots and lots of noise.

And then here is the part where it intersects with what bothered me.

They are just starting up for the semester, and are trying to get more organized, by repeating the Sunday school lesson from the previous week. I think they expect the kids to wait way too long for them to get their stuff together.

Last week, they had all of the 4+-year-olds line up at the wall to get ready to go across the campus to a portable. But they didn't really know exactly what they were doing yet, so they kept the kids standing there for a good 5 minutes before I finally just said, "Okay, let's go!" and took them over before they started wandering off, as they were clearly wanting to do.

Then they have a Bible story program that is, frankly, very boring (it's not Moppets, with which I have no experience; I just know it's whatever they're doing on the weekends). And long. And a few of the kids had no problem sitting for it, but a couple wanted to wander. The lady telling the story kept calling them out, but they weren't distracting anyone (else). They were just getting up. And they're 4 or 5. I would have let them quietly do their own thing.

Later, the lady who was "training" us told us that "any discipline needs to be handled positively; we want the kids to have a good time and want to come back." I appreciate that attitude, but what she considered as needing discipline directed at kids, I considered adults needing to get it together and be more organized and concise.

So, with all of that, we out.

Oh, plus I would start having anxiety about getting Mal up in time about 7 PM the night before. When I did BSF with D, we could go to breakfast before class started at 9. That child was always up and at 'em by 7. Mal is just starting to get moving around 9 AM, so trying to get somewhere by 8:30 was a challenge I don't mind passing up.

I had this same issue when D was little, too: After you don't have anyone to answer to for your time, it's difficult to submit to that again.

If you need us, this is where Mal and I will be.

And, in case you're wondering, James's first three days have gone well. They've fed him two of the days, and that's the most important thing.

Things People Say: "Don't Pick Your Nose"

Warning: This post might prove too much to the squeamish. Feel free to move on if that's you.

For the first time that I know of, today when I wasn't around, someone told Mal not to pick his nose.

I do not understand why adults tell kids not to pick their noses.

No, really. Hear me out...

Why *do* adults tell children not to pick their noses? My guess is because it's kind of gross. You know what else is gross? Poop. In fact, I'll go out on a limb to say that feces is even more offensive than the non-Newtonian gel that people have in their nasal passages.

However, we seem to have more patience with developmental stages when it comes to poop than when it comes to boogers.

When a kid is small, they poop indiscriminately wherever they are. No one tells a kid, or any human, really, "Don't poop! It's disgusting!" So we understand that this is a natural, biological activity, and rather than try foolishly to stop it, we help our kids learn the appropriate manner of dealing with their bowel movements.

Why can't we be bothered to do this with nose-picking?

My child, at 3, does not understand the physics of nose-blowing. Until recently, if you gave him a tissue and asked him to blow, he'd hold the tissue up to his nose and make a protracted "ffff" sound with his mouth. Now, he gets that it's pushing air out his nose, but he doesn't have the force or even understand the intention, no matter how I might explain it to him. He'll get there. It's a process.

So if someone sees a kid picking their nose, and it offends the adult's sensibilities: First, if it's not your kid or a kid for whom you are responsible, I'd say just look away and think about something else. If it's a child in your charge, you can do a couple of useful things: 1) Offer a tissue for wiping rather than risk the extricated object ending up in some random place to be discovered later. 2) Provide a wet wipe or take the kid to wash his hands when he's done.

It makes no sense to insist someone stop something that is natural and that relieves discomfort; instead, let's help teach them a more discreet and hygienic way of handling the situation. Also, regardless of how old we are, there are times when stuff is just jammed up there and has to be managed digitally rather than with the force of expelled air. So telling a kid not to pick their nose is incredibly hypocritical.

I don't want people to be ashamed of any of their bodily functions. We've been so for many years, and it's ridiculous. People fart. Women bleed. And sometimes, we need to get some crud out of our noses so we can breathe better.

Be helpful, not unreasonably demanding, 'kay?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

This is going to come as a shock to you, but I recently made a big switch-up in my life: I learned that eMeals now has a Paula Deen menu and switched from 30-Minute meals to that for a while. I know, I know: How are we going to make that work with James's gout? I'm not sure we can! So maybe I'll just save a few weeks' worth of menus while using these vegetarian meal plans I found and that we are using this week. Note that if you choose to do it, you can start at the bottom, like I did, so it will be seasonally appropriate. Also that there is a shopping list at the end of the menu; I realized that after I'd hand-written my shopping list like a Neanderthal.

Okay, so that's not the only thing. Though I'm a little offended by your lack of enthusiasm.

Also, the Lakeline Disney Store closed Monday, so I'm not sure what we're going to do when Mal wants to spend hours browsing toys now (and, yes, I realize that's probably why they closed). I wish this area had a cool local toy store, but I haven't found any closer than a 30-minute drive.

Waiting for the store to open the last day; watching the animated window for the last time.

A serendipitous thing happened this weekend, too: a woman in a local homeschool group posted that their church needed childcare help for MOPS. They're too far away, but I thought that'd be perfect for Mal and me: a place to go with new toys, friends to play with, and I would actually pull in a couple of bucks in the meantime. I found the closest church with a MOPS program and it turns out that they actually have something at the same time every week (instead of every other week) and they were pretty desperate for people, so we started this week!

Where James used to work, the employees could purchase company stock at a slightly-discounted price. They'd withhold from each check, saving it up for 6 months, then buy the stock. Even if we sold it immediately (we didn't), we'd have been ahead because of the discount. Two things: That has saved our family butt, as it were, during this season of unemployment. But also... James didn't receive the money that had been collected from the couple of months before he stopped working for this company, so we were waiting for the stocks to show up at the end of the year. They didn't. James ended up having to contact them, and they're cutting him a check. This seems shady to me. They're legally obligated to return all monies owed to employees in 48 hours, and no one should have to follow up to make sure they got ALL of it. Oh well. It'll be nice to have a little cash infusion in a couple of weeks.

James has received a job offer, and should start work toward the end of the month. So yay! Mal will be terribly disappointed that his dad isn't here during the day, though. Maybe the weather will warm up so they can have a special day together. I say this because I think it'd be cool for them to spend a lot of time bonding, not because I want a day to myself. No. That's not it at all.

Speaking of that, though... The night before last, I'm pretty sure Mal slept through until 6 AM before asking for "deedees." And last night, he sat straight up in bed, crying and whining, and let me lie him back down and cover him up without nursing. Baby steps, I guess.

Mal has been watching portions of Star Wars for months now. He usually only watches certain parts of certain movies, so I have those parts memorized, then really don't remember much about the rest. For instance, his favorite scene in "A New Hope" is where the Sand Person (Tusken Raider) attacks Luke. He'll literally back that up and watch it 15 times in a row. But he'll watch that movie until just after the scene at the Cantina, then he's about done. I think he's only seen the Death Star blow up once, because we made it a point to fast forward it to that little chunk for him to watch.

With "Empire Strikes Back," he'll watch more of it, but his favorite is Hoth. He's watched the Hoth segments of the movie repeatedly, mostly when Luke escapes the Wampa and when they take down the AT-ATs. When we play these scenes out, he gets frustrated that we don't know the exact words. He also thinks "Seagulls" is canon, because, you know, he's 3.

For "Return of the Jedi," he watches until the gang escapes Jabba the Hutt, then he's sort of done. He likes where Wicket meets Leia, and because he has an Endor Micro Machines set, really wants to see the logs take down the AT-STs. That's about it.

And he's watched the opening scene of "Phantom Menace" several times, losing interest after the arrival at Thede. Then he has kind of played around with the other two prequels, but he doesn't know anyone but Amadala and Jar Jar, so he doesn't really care.

Actually, Mal wants to play AT-AT take-down right now, so I must go rope him until he falls. Isn't being a mother fun?

Sleep Records

Hey! It's our first blog of the new year. Happy 2018, internets!

Today, we're going to take a brief look at Mal's sleeping habits, which I chronicled this week just for (morbid) curiosity's sake.

Carol, spending a rare moment with Mal, whom she typically avoids with a passion.

TUESDAY, 1/2/18: Sleep time 9:30 PM. 11 wakings; 2 he fell back to sleep on his own and 9 required my intervention.
WEDNESDAY, 1/3/18: 10:00 PM. 9 wakings, all of which required my input. 4 and 6 took a LONG time, both sides, etc.
THURSDAY, 1/4/18: 8:30 PM. 6ish; 3 and 6 involved mid-nursing dozing and were pretty drawn out.
FRIDAY, 1/5/18: 7:15 PM, in the car. 10 wake-ups, plus one as we were coming in from the car. 1st wake-up of the night in bed, he fell back to sleep on his own.
SATURDAY, 1/6/18: 9:45 PM. 6 wakings; 1 he fell asleep on his own.
SUNDAY, 1/7/18: 9:00 PM. 6ish times.
MONDAY, 1/8/18: 8:40 PM. 7ish times.

The reason I say "ish" is because of two things: 1) Sometimes he'll wake up, nurse, doze off, and within a few moments awake again asking for more "deedees" before I've fallen back to sleep. I don't know whether to count that as 2 wake-ups or 1. 2) If it's starting to get light out, and it's late enough that if he didn't go back to sleep, we could get up, anyway, I usually just stop counting. I consider it more of his "wake-up" routine than his over night routine.

So, basically, I was awakened about 55 times during the past week. Make you feel better about your life?

On the up side, Mal is sometimes extremely funny when he wakes up (or sleep talks, or whatever he's doing). Here are some things he's said in the middle of the night:

"Mommy, oh good. We're safe now."
"Mommy, where are you?" "Right here." "No, Daddy, I want Mommy."
"I saw Chewbacca, but he said, 'I am Mal,' not 'I am Chewbacca.'"
"Were you swimming at Walmart just now?"
"Mommy, deedees." "No, we are going to wait a while." "Mommmy, deedees!" "Mal, we're going to wait just a few minutes." "Mommy! Soda! NOW!" (We had some and I let him have it! He drank like he was hiking in the desert, too.)

Also, he's started basically yelling when he wakes up and needs my attention. I have to remind him that I'm right there and there's no need to speak as though we're across a busy basketball arena from one another.

James asked if I felt better worse now that I've done this, because if I hadn't, I would have said he averages 4-6 wake-ups a night, and it's obviously higher than that. I told him neither, but I'm glad to have a baseline and will journal it again in six months to see if there's any improvement.

The other day, I was on the phone with my friend, Adrienne, and trying to say the word "reciprocity." I could not land on it, but she knew what I meant and pronounced it for me... and it still took me three tries to say it correctly! It is times like these when I feel like I'm having a mini-stroke and just have to remind myself of the reality of this sleep chronicle. I'm sure I'll regain my vocabulary and sense at some point in the future. Right?