Summer School

Mal will be nine years old soon, and would be going into third grade if he were in school (his birthday is late in September, so he'd be one of the oldest amongst his grade cohorts). He loves homeschooling and unschooling specifically, and has so far resisted any suggestion I've made about taking ANY kind of class, even something fun like dance or martial arts. In his brain, "classes" equals "school" and he wouldn't then be a homeschooler. He has little idea that his homeschool friends have at-home curricula and structured enrichment programs.

I am fully confident that he knows that he needs to know at his age, and he's obviously happy and opinionated about his educational path. But recently D has expressed quite a bit of resentment about how they feel I just threw my hands up and "Jesus, take the wheel"ed their later school years (which isn't how it went on my end, but I know that intent isn't the same as impact, and I am very sorry and regretful that I didn't, I guess, push more forcefully... which was my bent as a mostly "authoritarian" parent at the time, and which seemed to be making our relationship worse... but I digress. I should also add that I'm fully confident that D can succeed in anything they want to do; but they are on very insecure footing because of how I conducted things). 

Also, I've been thinking a lot about how Mal is just quickly dismissive of trying things that he thinks sound "too involved" or of sticking with certain things. So James and I decided it would be a good idea for him to take something, anything, just A class next fall. Once a week is fine. And he freaked out when we told him. I brought up dance again, and he said, "I know how to dance!" I told him, "Sure, but there's something neat about learning specific steps, practicing them with friends, and then getting to perform a whole dance together." He was unconvinced. 

He's since told me that he'd cry every single day of his life once he was enrolled in a class, which sounds exhausting. He's said that he doesn't want to take any classes until driving school (which is ironic since D just practiced with James and me and otherwise was self-taught). He has asked me why I want to ruin his life.

However, recently he's taken an interest in, of all things, flags of the world.

I think it all started when he'd seen a YouTuber "rating" various countries' Emergency Management System alarms. That got him to look up the countries and see their respective flags. Now he has so many countries' flags memorized.

When we were Montreal, we saw flag shops everywhere.

We dropped into a little pizza shop on the McGill University campus, and it had a bunch of international flags hanging from the ceiling. Mal was able to name just about 70-75% of them. Then yesterday, we went to visit Nana and Pappy; they pulled up a video on YouTube where you try to guess what country a flag is from, and he was able to peg 37 of the 50!

So he has said that if I can find him a geography class, he's interested in that. He's very into continents, where countries are in relationship to each other and their continents, which countries are allies and which are enemies, and other things like that. Please keep your fingers crossed that we can find a robust elementary-aged geography class in the fall!

Also, just because I was curious, I bought a Brain Quest 2nd/3rd grade summer bridge activity book. D used to love Brain Quest books, and we did a lot of them (pretty much every one through 6th grade). Mal's completed the first section so far and he's actually enjoying it. I just call it his "activity book," and he has some of the same hang-ups D did ("Why can't I do it this way instead?" Doodling all over the place so it's hard to see what he actually did. Kid stuff), but he's able to do everything easily. Even things like commas and apostrophes, which, again, we've NEVER "studied" because we don't, he understands how to use them. We'll finish the book because he's having fun, and so am I. I did get to spend quite a bit more hands-on time with D as a kid because of our "doing school" a couple of hours a day.

All of that to say: The kid is all right. It's fine. I actually got him to go to an "open gym" by basically making him (I've asked all semester and he always said no, so I just did it), which he liked a lot. This week is the last session until fall, but that's another thing he can look forward to. 

Our summer is getting busy, already. Lots of activities, movies coming out, musicals, fun stuff. Hopefully it all involved a lot of a/c or a lot of water to get into, though!

The Rest of the Week in Montreal

This has been a fast few days! Mal keeps saying, "How can we be leaving tomorrow? We've only been here two days!" We have been fortunate to have lovely weather and even with James's bone spurs acting up and some rain and cold yesterday, we've been able to fit in a lot. I mean, obviously we didn't get to see or eat at 10% of the possibilities I'd highlighted on my personalized Google Map, but we certainly hit most of the highlights.

Friday morning, we did indeed go to Old Montreal and kick around a bit. We visited the Notre Dame Basilica, which I was unable to go into 25 years ago as it was under refurbishment. They're working on one of the spires right now, but the inside was accessible and it's every bit as soaring and opulent as advertised.

We walked to the Old Port, and Mal played on the small playground there for a while. We'd hoped to visit the "beach" at the Clock Tower, but it apparently doesn't open until June 16. 

Mal was crushed about the beach, but rallied when he found Mamu! that had a strawberry banana Nutella crepe featured on the sandwich-board menu out on the sidewalk. We had an unplanned lunch there after visiting the Notre Dame de Bonsecours basilica. It's one of Montreal's oldest churches, dedicated to sailors. Some of the light fixtures were boats, which was neat, and it was much more understated than the church up the street. But it was still pretty fancy compared to modern-day pared-down modern church design. 

We took our afternoon rest, then went out for dinner at Schwartz's Deli. We were seated at a table with a local family whose daughter looked like she was just about Mal's age. We chatted with them for a while and thoroughly enjoyed our Montreal smoked meat sandwiches.

There was a playground nearby where Mal was able to burn off some steam before walking back to the hotel.

Unfortunately, the next morning, James woke up with his bone spurs/Achilles tendonitis in high gear. We had timed tickets to a Van Gogh immersive experience (sorry, Hannah Gadsby; the only other choice was too "mature" for Mal), so he hobbled his way to that, then the plan was to take it easy until we were to meet his cousin and uncle (and their spouses and a new baby) at a park.

The show was very cool, and afterwards, James made his way back to the hotel while Mal and I found a cane for him, got Mal some McDonald's, and then got lunch for James and me from Restaurant Noodle Factory in Chinatown.

Later, we went to Parc La Fontaine to meet James's cousin, Cynthia, who just had a baby a couple of weeks ago. Her parents, including James's favorite uncle, happened to be in town for the joyous occasion, so we got to see them. The last time James saw his uncle Kermit was back in 2011 when James was living in Dallas. Kermit and his wife, Cheryl, live in France, so they don't get to connect very often. Cynthia's husband, Fabrice, was kind enough to give James a ride back to our hotel (we've been using public transit, but you still have to walk to/from the stops, and the park stop is on the opposite side of the park where we met them, which is a good 3/4 of a mile away.

Mal and I went off to do some more sight-seeing. We hadn't needed to ride the train for a couple of days, and Mal wanted to do that. After we'd gone all over town, I dropped Mal off at the hotel and got us food from Slice and Soda.

Sunday we had reserved for James's rest day. Mal decided that he'd like to spend all day at the hotel, as well. So I got up super early, went across the street, and rented a Bixi to ride over to Parc Jean-Drapeau.

Since it was before 7 AM on a Sunday, I largely had the streets (and the Jacques Cartier bridge) to myself. The Montreal skyline looks lovely from across the St. Laurence River. And I got to see the apartments built for Expo '67 up close!

I rode the bike about 8.5 miles, then turned it in at a dock near the metro station, from where I rode back to the hotel. By then, Mal was hungry and wanted to indulge his Sunday McDonald's tradition.

We brought James some lunch, then I got out to visit Les chocolate de Chloé, which did not disappoint.

By the time James had had a full day of resting, he was good to get out to our high tea reservation at Cardinal Tea Room. It was really neat, tasty stuff, good service. And I knew Mal would not be remotely interested, so we took a big activity book and crayons for him. He stayed busy the whole hour and a half or so that we were there.

Monday, we took Mal by Parc Toussaint-Louverture to play (he says "I was famous there!" because there were a couple of preschool classes playing in the park, and they were fascinated with him), then took the metro to see the Barbie Expo! It was just hundreds of Barbie dolls dressed up as movie characters, dressed by famous designers, wearing outfits suggestive of many companies, etc.

Mal enjoyed hanging out at the mall for a bit, then we walked down to Mary, Mother of the World church.

The wind picked up, ushering in a cold front, as we made our way to Campo, a Portuguese chicken place, for lunch. I had the pork sandwich, James had the chicken, and Mal just had fries. It was all so good.

We came back to the hotel for James to rest, and I went up to a doughnut place we'd been wanting to try... unfortunately, they were closed on Monday and Tuesday so instead I just had an afternoon sight-seeing jaunt.

We elected to have dessert for dinner, as a place right down the road from us looked amazing, but not the kind of place where you'd eat after you'd had a proper meal. 

Later that night, I got out to try to see the projections from Cité Memoiré, only to learn that they're only available Thursday through Sunday. Oh well! Next time. Again, it ended up being a general sight-seeing sortie.

Wednesday, we went back to Old Montreal to the Montreal Science Center. Mal spent the first portion of the day mad that he couldn't go into the area that's reserved for the under-7 set. But then he found the water area and we ended up somehow losing the whole day there! When we stopped for "lunch" later and realized it was almost 4 PM, we were shocked.

Mal had, of course, McDonald's for lunch; but I got sandwiches for James and me from Olive et Gourmando. It was pouring rain and getting much cooler as we made our way back to the hotel. For dinner, we ended up eating all of the remaining snacks we had in the room. Mal had an apple and some cheese and crackers, I had a cucumber and peanut butter and crackers, and James had a bagel and some chocolate.

Today, Wednesday, is our last full day here. James wanted to go back into Old Montreal to visit a stained glass shop, and Mal and I headed the opposite direction to go to an indoor playground.

As it is a school day, Mal was the only kid there. He played for about an hour and a half, then we made our way back to the hotel via first the McDonald's at the train station where we transferred from our bus (and I finally tried McD's poutine, which I understand makes me a garbage person, but I swore I would try it, and I did, and now I never have to again) and then to the doughnut place I'd missed on Monday.

Mal and I got to spend a LOT of time on public transit today, and I think that's one thing he's really going to miss about Montreal!

We are getting packed up and ready to go tomorrow, and I'd love to order in, but Mal wants us all to go out to dinner together, which is sweet. 

We took the bus from the airport to the hotel the day we got in, but with James's bum leg acting up, we're probably going to take an Uber back to the airport tomorrow.

James has to check a bag because of the stained glass stuff he got, so we'll have to wait longer to get that taken care of and get through security without TSA PreCheck.

Over all, a great week that I'm sorry James had to pull the reigns on because of his leg. I've loved every minute of it, but know Mal will be excited to see his friends, and it will be nice to see D soon!

Vacation cultural notes

Just a couple of quick observations before we get home and I totally forget them:

1) There is a LOT more cigarette smoking here than we usually see at home. I see plenty of vaping at home, less here as a proportion of total smokers

2) Public spaces, and especially parks, are for all and are used by all. If you go to a little neighborhood square, you're every bit as likely to see mostly adults as you are to see kids running around. Larger parks look like the stereotypical college quad in a movie: blankets everywhere; people picnicking, singing, playing games, eating dinner alone enjoying the fresh air; pick-up "volleyball;" intense conversations; surprise meet-ups. It's very energetic and social.

3) Most of the dogs we've seen are exceptionally chill. Of the hundreds of dogs we've encountered, I saw a pair barking at another dog in a pedestrian-only street. They are just used to other people, cars, and activity.

4) I'm guessing it's because most urban homes are smallish and because it's been inhospitably cold for a long time, but there are lots of people hanging out on their stoops working, eating, just connecting with the people, activity, and warmth outdoors. It reminds me of the stay-home orders during the early days of the pandemic: We met more neighbors who were out on their porch than we'd ever seen before (or since). 

5) People very neatly line up to get onto buses. There have been a couple of "cutters" who nonchalantly meandered into the already-existing queues, but I know that in many places, it's just an elbowing game to get on and get a seat. No one is lining up to use the metro, but they're still pretty polite and now that James is using a cane, if there are no available seats, people unfailingly get up for him. They've done the same for Mal and have tried for me, too. 

6) There is tons of bike infrastructure here. It's awesome. Also, the pedestrian/crosswalk lights at many intersections often turn "green" before the traffic lights turn. And in really busy areas, the green light flashes a few times before turning yellow. Just a little extra warning.

Settling into vacation

 It's Friday morning and we've been in Montreal since Tuesday afternoon.

Although Mal cried walking down the jetway to get on to our first plane, as soon as we got seated and he saw that "Sonic 2" was available on the in-flight entertainment, he was pleased. He actually watched the whole thing without sound, captions on, as he said, "This is how Deaf people watch movies all of the time."

The trip out (flying from Austin to Detroit, connecting there to Montreal, getting through customs, taking a bus to the city center, then walking about a kilometer to the hotel) was pretty uneventful, which is preferable to almost any other alternative.

We were able to check straight into our hotel, and after unpacking and resting for a while, we walked to get dinner at Ma Poule Mouilée, which is a poutine place that features Portuguese chicken (they also have food besides poutine, but this was our first meal in Canada, so when in Rome, as they say...

We walked over to Parc La Fontaine to eat so Mal could play. He'd had a Subway wrap on our way out of the Montreal airport, so we was fine waiting.

After we shared some of our dinner (but none of our dessert -- a delicious cannoli and a bigger flan than I'd intended to order) with a very friendly squirrel, James and Mal walked back to the hotel while I went to McDonald's to get Mal his "usual": poulet McCroquettes.

Wednesday morning, we enjoyed a nice continental breakfast at the hotel before heading out to Mount Royal. We took a bus up to the top (I know, we are cowards, but it was our first day in town and I didn't want to ruin things for Mal by making him hike up) and found the playground... along with class after class of children there for what was apparently a kind of field day. It seemed mostly to be one long run around a pretty big area of the park, and it also seemed to be mostly English-speaking kids.

Mal played for a while, then we walked around Lac aux Castors and meandered up to the Kondiaronk Belvedere to look out over the city. We did walk down the mountain, which I know shouldn't count, but James's and my calves definitely felt the use later. 

We were heading to a vegetarian cafe that we knew wouldn't have anything Mal liked, but it just so happened that a pizza-by-the-slice place was on the McGill campus about a block before Lola Rosa, so everyone got fed. James had this beautiful curry at the cafe. The menu said that it was spicy, but there was barely a tinge of heat under the deep coconut flavor. It was extremely tasty. I had a salad with chickpeas marinated in lemon confit... it was also good but I made the mistake of stirring the whole salad together before I noticed that the olives weren't pitted. Kept me on my toes, anyway.

We took a break at the hotel, then snagged the train up to March Jean-Talon. We got some produce for the room. We don't have a fridge or microwave, but wanted some apples, bananas, and impulse-bought a tray of cucumbers. Everything was so inexpensive! I asked for a kilo of apples, but got about 3 pounds, and it was $3.50C so about $2.60.

We would love to take some syrup home, but since we're not checking anything, we instead got some cute little maple candies. James and Mal had little hard candies in the shape of maple leaves. I got a little cone full of thick syrup. Then we got a few chocolates that had maple nougat. We ate those and Mal had an apple there are the market. I drooled over the many different types of baklava and am thinking I might go back for some later.

Mal was happy to ride back on the train. He is enjoying the subway a lot.

By then, everyone was ready for a rest at the hotel, but I was antsy because I had packed with the idea that the highs would be in the low- to mid-60s all week. Literally the day we left, it showed that Thursday and Friday would be in the mid- to high-70s, and I had been plenty warm walking around in the clothes I'd packed for cooler weather. I know you're supposed to pack layers, but We have to build up a wardrobe of layers, I guess. The stuff I have is too heavy to wear under anything else, except for the tank top I wore on the plane on the way here. 

So while James and Mal rejuvenated, I took the train over to a commercial center and bought a couple of things for Mal and me to wear until it cools back off. Now the big question is: Can get get it back into the bags to bring home? I guess we'll find out!

James brought dinner in from Bergham, and I'd picked up, you guessed it, McD's for Mal.

Thursday, we took the train out to Stade Olympique to visit the botanical gardens and Biodôme. There's a lot of construction going on around the stadium and at the gardens' main building, so getting started on that was kind of tricky. But we eventually got to walk around and see some beautiful tulips. We were hoping to see some cherry blossoms, but it looks like we're maybe a week early. The magnolias, which are also that striking pink, are in full bloom now and we've loved seeing those in the neighborhoods.

Between the gardens and Biodôme, Mal noticed what he thought were bounce houses, but I thought was construction stuff. Turns out he was right. After we went through the museum and he got to see both penguins ("This is my best day in Canada!") and otters, among other animals in 5 different biomes, he asked to go to the bounce houses. It was only $10C, so about $8.50ish, and it gave James and me a chance to sit down for a few while he got some energy out.

When we went to Disney World, I'd read that people might think it's ridiculous for there to be playgrounds on-site when kids get so tired walking. Apparently, there's a difference in a forced march and being able to run and play. It definitely rejuvenated Malcolm.

We took the train and then a bus connection to a very late lunch at Wilinskey's. James and I had the special with cheddar, and lemon/lime and grape fresh-made sodas. Mal had a hot dog and ordered a chocolate soda, which they warned him he would not like. He still wanted it. He did not like it, which was lucky for James and me because it was spectacular. Even the people working there said it was a "special" drink that they doubted people actually liked. But we did. It was so refreshing!

Mal got some chocolate gelato just up the street, and we got a few Fairmont bagels. The "bozo" bagels (plain bagels with poppy seeds on one side and sesame seeds on the other) had just come out of the oven, so we had to eat one on the walk home. 

It was a longer walk back to the hotel than I had thought it was, but we got to take in more of the neighborhoods' personalities, which I really enjoy.

We rested for a few hours, then went out to find food. Our first choice stops serving children at 5 PM, so we opted for Frites Alors! where Mal was able to get chicken tenders and French fries. James got a guacamole burger, and I just wanted fries and sauce.

Now I'm up and have eaten breakfast. The guys are still asleep so I'm sitting out on the steps of the hotel writing this. They have a lovely terrace that is pretty quiet, even though we're on an active road. 

Oh! Our room is a half-basement, and we have a large window that lets in natural light... and I'm shocked at how quiet it is! We've all been sleeping very well and I'd highly recommend Hotel Manoir Sherbrooke if you're ever visiting Montrèal!

"Fun" medical week

Do you ever have one of those weeks where it feels like the only time you are sitting down is when you're driving? Last week was one of those weeks!

Tuesday was normal; we had our homeschool meet-up at the library then went down to the park. We had Mal's dental stuff scheduled for Thursday, and I'd had to change a dental appointment of mine to later the same day, so Nana and Pappy agreed to come down and spend a few hours with Mal as he woke up, shook off the anesthesia, and got used to his new mouth stuff.

However, Wednesday afternoon, just as I was getting ready to take Mal to a different homeschool meet-up, D came in complaining of severe abdominal pain. This was the third time it's happened, way beyond just a stomach-ache, and the general physician had told D to go to urgent care/ER next time. So I took D to our in-network E/R but had to drop off and drive over to the transmission garage where our bigger car had been for a week.

The transmission was out and needed to be replaced, but the replacement would cost a couple of thousands of dollars more than I paid for the vehicle several years ago, so we were donating it to our local NPR station. We'd left it at the garage because James noted that if Mal had to watch the car get hooked up to a tow truck and driven off from our driveway, he'd have a breakdown. The tow company was coming to get the vehicle at 1:00 PM on Wednesday, so I had to get the title to the transmission place before they got there.

D had several tests run, was given some pain meds, and a couple of prescriptions, as well as a referral to a G/I. We had to pick up groceries on the way home, so it ended up being the whole day. 

Thursday, we had to be in Bastrop (which is an hour away with no traffic, so arrival at 8:15 AM was a slog through rush "hour" Austin) super early. Mal was fine until we actually headed back to the room, and he managed to put up a very good fight against four adults: James, the dental hygienist, the anesthesiologist, and me. His physical strength almost matches his strong will, so it took a while for him to nod off. 

Two baby teeth pulled, two missing caps replaced (and nerve treatments for those two teeth, since they'd been exposed for two and three years), two existing caps removed and replaced, one new cap on a baby tooth, two small holes (no obvious dental caries yet) on 6-year molars packed with white filling, and dental sealant on remaining molars. Whew!

Mal actually woke up in the office after the procedure. He was loopy, but aware. When he went under anesthesia at the age of 4, he just slept for five or so hours afterwards. 

We got him out to the car, and his biggest complaint, besides that it felt like everything was spinning, was that we'd reclined him in the front seat, and he's not supposed to be in the front seat.

Waking up (kind of) on the way home

We got home about the same time that Nana and Pappy got here. I fed them lunch, then had to go to my appointment for the second half of my deep cleaning. It was very anticlimactic compared to Mal's morning, and he was awake and himself the entire time his grandparents were here.

Friday morning, we had a kind of last-minute trip to the vet for Carol, who we realized during the week was using the bath mat as a replacement litter box. The vet determined that she likely has a UTI and put her on antibiotics. D had the idea that maybe Carol doesn't like our Modkat top-entry litter boxes (blasphemy!), so I bought her a *shudder* open litter box (it does have some privacy panels, but the front is easy-entry) and... D was right. Between the meds (which James and D are administering like pros), the new litter box, and an investment in puppy training pads, things have gotten substantially less frustrating for everyone. Well, maybe except for the medication administration, which Carol does not appreciate at all.

Friday afternoon, Mal had his bi-weekly play date at Urban Air. While we were there, a severe storm moved through the area, so that was dramatic. Fortunately, I don't think there was any damage, and, as always, we can use the rain.

Saturday, I was determined not to go ANYWHERE. Mal was "bored" but I loved it, and he ended up thinking of a lot of stuff to play. Sunday, we had our morning play date at McDonald's with his friend, Ryan, then stayed home the rest of the time. It was super awesome not to have any unpleasant surprises or medical appointments. 

Monday, Mal met with a speech therapist/feeding specialist to address the fact that he just doesn't want to eat a variety of foods. We'd made the appointment back in October but they're really backed up. It was kind of frustrating -- we had to wait more than half an hour after our appointment time, the session itself was an hour and a half, and she suggested several things that I am unwilling to do as I feel that they interfere with intuitive eating -- and interesting -- Mal has a mild sensory processing disorder, we should get him an electric toothbrush just to desensitize his mouth to new/unique sensations, and that studies have shown that if a child will put a food in their palm, they are likely to eat it.

I feel like we have some good starting points, but will likely not go back. They want one meeting a week, and for a half day, including the 40 minute drive there and home, it's just not worth it. Also, obviously, for any therapy to work, there has to be patient buy-in. It will shock you to know that Mal's just not that into it. Finally, I could tell in the intake paperwork that some of the people they help have a lot bigger issues than Mal does, and I don't want to take up an appointment that could be used by someone who genuinely just won't or can't eat.

Monday night, James and I voted (sorry LISD, but our property taxes are already ridiculously high, and it seems like your schools are pretty impressive without the three new bonds) then went to pick up food we'd ordered from Piroshky Piroshky Bakery in Seattle. Apparently, they have come down to Austin annually for a few years but this was the first I'd heard of it. Holy cow, were those things good.

D has a routine medical appointment later this week, then I think we're done with doctors and dentists for a bit. I hope so. We've blown through our dental insurance this year. Plus, you know, it's my preference that humans and felines in this house feel good and are doing well.

Let's all keep our fingers crossed for a boring week, people!