The Benefits of Being "A Certain Age"

Yesterday, we were taking a friend to the doctor and I got pulled over by a Leander police officer. I had stopped at a stop sign and then turned right pretty much in front of him, so I moved right over to the left lane. I thought that's why he pulled me over, but he said it was because of the stop sign. I said, "I thought I stopped?" He then informed me that there was a difference in tapping on one's brakes and in really looking and considering traffic before moving on. Fair enough.

If I were in my 20s, I'm relatively certain (based largely on my experiences in my 20s) that I would have been given a ticket. However, a 46-year-old lady requires only a warning and a reminder to drive more cautiously.

Interestingly, he noted the small size of my car as a danger, saying if I got hit, I'd be in trouble. I wanted to say, a la "Crocodile Dundee," "You think THIS is a small car? Nah. My husband has a small car!" I fortunately digressed.

Also, in case you're my mom and you're worried, my car performs just fine in most crash tests (including the most important ones), with a US News rating of 8.5/10 stars.

Today was James's company's summer picnic, which was held at Typhoon Texas, a nearby waterpark. I last showered a couple of days ago, but today I just put on my bathing suit and walked out the door. I didn't consider shaving. I didn't paint my toenails. I am getting a cold sore, but still didn't think about wearing makeup. I didn't feel intimidated or wistful about any of the pretty young things we saw at the park. I just had fun and ate free food and enjoyed my family.

Yesterday when Mal got his Vampirina house down to play with it, he said, "Mommy! We need to dust Vampirina's bed so we can play with it!" I told James that I'd just been thinking the night before about how the 2009 me would totally judge that the 2019 me doesn't maintenance dust; I only dust when it's visible and bothering me. But I have better things to do than dust, and enough cats that being more fastidious about that wouldn't affect my allergies one bit, anyway.

Basically, I genuinely don't care what other people think (I've always not cared much, but still kind of preferred being thought of as attractive, competent, smart, etc.), I seem harmless enough not to warrant too much attention in public, and I am a lot more laid back. I'm not complaining about this age thing, even as I write this with reading glasses because just this week I've become unable to read my computer screen without them. It's all good.

Rube Goldberg days

James is home today for Memorial Day, and when Mal just announced that he'd started pooping a little and needed actually to go, I kindly informed James it was his turn, since I'd already handled one of those, and at Target, no less.

I was finishing up reading an article, so James gamely attempted to handle the task. But at the end, he needed to put Mal's drawers in the washing machine because he'd rinsed them out and they were damp, and we don't like to put damp clothes in the hamper.

The only issue with that is that I'd started laundry a couple of hours ago and hadn't moved the clean clothes into the dryer. So I got up to do that. Since James needed to wash up, I took the pants from him and put them in the washing machine. I started the water running and was putting some soap in when I realized that the "no spill" insert in the soap jug had detached and fallen into the soap.

I tried to fix it manually, but it was too slimy to get a grip on, so I had to get a pair of pliers... and that worked, but so much for sitting and taking it easy while James did all the work.

Anyone else have those times when it seems like you're trying to do one little thing (or nothing at all) and it becomes a big series of drawn-out things?

In other news, Mal and I did NOT have a quiet Friday, but it was cool. Just before lunch, I noticed that the Aladdin live-action reboot had just opened, so I asked Mal if he wanted to go, and, to my surprise, he did! We bought tickets for the show an hour from then, and it was almost sold out already.

We left immediately and had time for some ice cream at Baskin Robbins first. While we were there, "Johnny B. Goode" was playing in the store, and Mal said, "That's the same guitar and singer as 'Route 66'!" Now he knows Chuck Berry by name.

After the movie, which we thoroughly enjoyed, we went to the mall because Mal wanted to play on the indoor playground. James got off of work just about the time we got to the mall, and he met us there in Build-a-Bear, surprising Mal.

Eventually, I came home to make dinner (beef stew, THANK YOU, Instant Pot... it took an hour and tasted slow simmered!), and James and Mal walked in right as dinner was ready.

James and Mal are outside now playing with water balloons, so I'm going to go try to research a few things I've not had time to do with a busy 4-year-old who desires constant companionship!

Running and running and running, like a constipated wiener dog

Good news to start: After kind of sinking into a mild depression and getting really bogged down in that, I realized that I'd been doubling up on allergy medicines most days, trying to avoid asthma. While I understand I can't take more than one specific type of medicine per day, I hadn't really researched taking a couple of different ones. So I stopped. And after a couple of days, my regular energy came back, so that's fabulous.

Speaking of which, here's my week's goings-on, for your enjoyment. And this is basically a typical week, just so you get an idea of how this whole "unschool preschool" looks for us:

SUNDAY:
Mal and I went to church, then afterwards, I took him to a splash pad that's really close to the school where our church is held.

We came home and had lunch, then Mal really wanted to go to Jump Street... so I took him there.

MONDAY:
We stayed home until D had banjo practice at 3:30. Mal wanted to do pixel art, so we made a couple of characters from Teen Titans Go! (Mal's already broken one of them, plus The Flash emblem I made him several weeks ago). C'est la vie.

Mal is pretending with some stuff we keep on the table, since it takes a while to set up these puppies.

Starfire and Cyborg

While D was in class, Mal and I went to CVS to look for gummies. We found some fun stuff at the Claire's encap, too.

TUESDAY:
As soon as Mal got up and around, we drove to Temple. Hannah and Chance were there, and he and Mal had a good day. They played together, blocks and tinker toys, then we took the boys to Little Land.

We went back to Pappy and Nana's for a while, then Mal was ready to go to the water park. At first, he wasn't thrilled with getting wet, so he played on the playground.

Then he decided getting wet was okay, in limited doses.

He ended up back at the playground, though. Mercifully, it was shaded. It's already HOT in Texas.

This slide isn't in the shade. I was sitting in the shaded part.

WEDNESDAY:

Mal woke up and got ready for his day late enough that the first thing we did was go to McDonald's... for lunch. Nana and Pappy went with us, then we started back toward Jonestown.

On the way, we stopped at the Round Rock Outlet Mall, where Mal wanted to visit the Disney Store. But first, a visit to the also-shaded playground there.

We didn't find anything we *really* needed at the Disney Store, but we DID get some Cars, kind of, by going to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate shop, where we purchased a few chocolate cars that Mal played with in the food court before we drove the rest of the way home.

Mal asked me to take him somewhere Wednesday evening, but I was worn out! He could go forever.

THURSDAY:

Mal woke up at 10 AM, but was ready to go to the library just as story time was starting. Two of his friends, Alexei and Fox, were there (plus Alexei's little sister, Anya), then after the craft, we went to the lake to play for a bit with Fox.

As we left the park, Mal requested a visit to Target. I needed several things, in addition to the water balloons he wanted, so we went. We started off with a cheese pizza and apple juice (for him, soda for me), then shopped. I think HE got a bit worn out!

We came home and played with some of the water balloons, then played with play dough and cookie cutters.

Mal was rarin' to go to Lego time, but it was too early to drive over, so I asked if he wanted to walk to the library this time. He did, and GOOD GRACIOUS, it was 91 degrees and about 80% humidity. It was Orlando hot, friends. But it's GORGEOUS around here, so difficult to get too mad about it.

Mal was the only kid at Lego time except for the library director's sons. He had a good time. He was enjoying himself so much independently that I got to go browse the books for the second part of the hour. It was great!

Then we walked back home to get ready for dinner.

Fingers crossed, I would love to stay home tomorrow. But Mal might have different plans. We'll see soon... right now, he's requesting that we go to bed. He doesn't have to ask me twice!

Isn't It Bedtime Yet?

You guys, I'm tired.

We had a great time on vacation, and I was so pleased how well D kept up with everything while we were gone. We took it pretty slow Monday and Tuesday, though Mal and I met some friends at McDonald's one of those days.

Then on Wednesday, Nana came to stay with Mal while D and I got out to do some errands for a couple of hours. It had been raining pretty severely when  there was a little break in the storm. D had been planning on taking care of the pigeons before we left, but I decided that since it might be pouring again pretty quickly, I'd go out and switch out their water and make sure their food was full.

When I stepped outside, I saw something pretty substantial out on the flight deck. It actually looked a bit like a palm frond. It had been windy, but there are no palms anywhere near here. I asked aloud, "What do you guys have in there?" Then I realized: it was part of one of our newer birds.

It was horrifying. I listened but didn't hear anything in the loft, but still... whatever had killed the bird might still be in there. I called our local police, asked for animal control, found out we don't have any, but an officer came by, anyway. He had me stand back while he opened the door with his billy club at the ready.

There was nothing inside. It had gotten back out. There were no signs of life, and I saw enough very briefly to know that I didn't want to see any more.

In time, we'd learn this was definitely a raccoon, and their violent mauling of birds (chickens, ducks, etc.) is definitely a well-known occurrence in our area.

Oh, how every single person in our family cried that day. Multiple times. It was such a team effort to process our feelings and still take care of business. I cleaned up the flight deck just so the carnage wouldn't be visible. I told both kids, and I held them as they cried.

James came home early and collected what he could of the birds to put in a box, then dug a hole. D sat by the hole for a while before they filled it back in. James gathered everything else up in the tarp and threw it away, then I power-washed what was left.

At the end of the day, I realized that we'd both done a great job of managing and handing off and doing things, but we both went to bed without having really checked in with each other. We were all so sad; it's hard to think about everyone else's feelings when you're reeling, too.

Since then, I've just felt exhausted. I sleep okay, but wake up and am tired still. I guess it's grief?

Then there's the meat thing. We're kind of all off of poultry (except Mal, but in his defense, nuggets don't much resemble actual birds). For who knows how long. Which sucks, because I've been trying to avoid beef much, since it's such an environmental drain. So I guess we're left with pork? James and I could be vegetarian, but D likes, or has liked, meat. We're just... the memory is too vivid.

Today, James and I had taken Mal to the park for a while. It was a gorgeous day. Lots of people there had dogs, and many were off-leash, which is against the local ordinances. A small dog ran up to a leashed/harnessed big dog, and that big dog picked him right up and almost killed him. They got the small dog away from the big dog, and took it to an emergency vet... but, it was like PTSD. I'm OVER animal-on-animal violence. And those poor people with the leashed dog... they had to leave. Their day was ruined. And they did nothing wrong. It makes me even more vigilant about letting the cats out, because I CANNOT HANDLE ANYTHING ELSE.

This was Mother's Day, and as days go, it was pretty nice. I went to see "The Hustle" alone, but that wasn't a Mother's Day gift. It couldn't be, because James goes to movies fairly regularly, when it isn't Father's Day or his birthday or anything.

There's a lot of lead-up to and then social media performance of appreciating moms, to the point that it feels like a competition. Well, I'm not playing. I love my mom, and I know my family loves me. It's exhausting, all of the "Mother's Day might be hard for you, so here's to the people whose moms are gone, and who don't have a relationship with their mom, or who might want to be moms and aren't, or who have lost children, or who don't want to be moms at all and feel devalued by society." Ugh. If people want to celebrate their moms, cool. If they don't or can't, then okay. But it's just... so big.

Have I mentioned that I'm tired?

Last week, I guess Mal needed to make up for lost time on vacation, so we went to Chuck E. Cheese Friday morning, then Little Land Friday afternoon; and Catch Air Saturday morning.

This morning, Mal didn't want to go to church with me, he wanted to go to breakfast with James (which is James's Sunday morning tradition). That was cool, and I got to actually pay attention during church, but then Mal had told James he wanted to go to Taco Cabana, but they somehow ended up at McDonald's, where Mal both wanted to play and was super bummed that they weren't serving French fries yet. That sounds about right.

We have a guy coming out Tuesday to start working on our porch. We're getting some rotting planks replaced, and then getting the porch repainted and some of the timber re-stained. It needs to be done, and we have budgeted for it, but I'm super wound up about money right now. For no real reason. I think it just feels like I should be uptight about everything for a while.

I'm sure this has been uplifting, so I'll leave you to go enjoy the headiness.

Unschooling on the High Seas

Our last day on the cruise was an "at sea" day. I took a ship's tour (James was supposed to have gone, too, but then Mal didn't like the kids' club, so we had to choose a designated parent, and he volunteered to let me go; I accepted), and we did all of the "must-dos" that we wanted to hit. We didn't go to the pool at all, which is a little surprising, but it helped us not be sunburn-tired and our suits were drier when I packed.

What I wanted to note, however, was about how much my son brings up as games "drills" that many educators use in "teaching" kids in school.

When I came back from the ship tour, Mal and James were playing "rhymes." Mal picks a word and then, naturally, everyone takes turns thinking of words that rhyme with it. It's fun because Mal "gets" rhyming, but also then sometimes thinks that the same vowel sound in the middle of a short word means it rhymes, and we get to gently say, "That's close, but the end is different" so he can tweak it. And we only play as long as he wants to... which is generally longer than it's fun for us, as is with most things.

Another thing he likes to do is ask, "What words start with 'c'?" And he'll start with one: cookie, cat, cake, etc. Then, again, we just go around doing that until he is ready to move on.

Something he started after a few days of using the elevators was that we'd get on and he'd say, "Mom, there were three people on here, and now two guys got on. How many is that?" Usually, I'd guess wrong so he'd have to correct me. He'd finish up the lesson by saying, "It's five! Because three plus two equals five!" This activity was hampered a couple of times by his forgetting to count himself, which was also interesting.

The whole thing was fascinating to me because we've never introduced these things; it has been his idea. He is just curious about the world, and how things work, and how they fit. This learning and building has sprung from his natural curiosity... and I think we all know that is the BEST way (and most fun way) to learn things.

On the other hand, he has no idea how to shape most letters or numbers (he can do "1" and "l" and "0" and "o"). Before we left, he was taking a bath and we sprayed some shaving cream on the bathtub wall. He'd smooth it out and draw shapes on it. At first, he was asking, "What does this look like?" after he'd make a doodle. He liked the more ridiculous guesses best. I'd say, "It looks like someone was skiing down a mountain and fell and flipped three times." He'd laugh at that. But if I said, "It looks like a snake," he'd say, "No. Pick something else." But then he'd tell me what HE thought it looked like and it would be more literal: "It looks like Sonic's arm and he's making a fist."

Then he asked me to write his name. I said, "You know how to spell it. You write it." So he started to write the "M" by drawing two straight lines. And he knew they were supposed to meet in the middle somehow, but he wasn't sure how to do it. He made a little jut out of the first line, horizontally, toward the middle; then the same on the other side. It looked about like an "H" that had been cut in half and separated a bit. I finally showed him how to do the middle part.

He's working on figuring this stuff out. Just at a slower pace than my first child, and than other kids his age. I'm glad he doesn't have to compete with anyone in this regard. We don't have the arbitrary "one more year" deadline for kindergarten. Maybe he'll have gotten it by next fall; maybe he won't. I'm sticking with the self-directed program.

I do ask sometimes if he wants to get out this reusable marker book to practice letters, and he's never said yes. I'm not pushing it.

Something that keeps reinforcing this commitment, even when I waver, is Mal himself.

For instance, on our cruise, our assistant server was kind enough to bring Mal his own soda every night, even though we didn't pay for that (I had the unlimited soda package). The drink was served in stemware, and almost every time Mal reached for it, I felt a blanche of anxiety. "He's going to spill it!" my spine warned me.

Mal is pretty clunky with things sometimes. He CAN feed himself things like cereal and yogurt, but he has to REALLY be paying attention lest he ends up virtually swimming in it. He hates drinking straight from cups, preferring straws, even though I've seen that he CAN drink out of cups and bottles.

Still, those things seem like challenges to him, to the point that I often help him... which I am aware is aiding in any arrested development, if it exists, but also sometimes I'm just not in the mood to stop what I'm doing for a major cleanup on aisle everywhere.

Anyway, I wondered aloud to James if occupational therapy might help him. He doesn't draw or color, he paints only occasionally, never uses the chalkboard or easel, and I'm pretty sure that if he tried to brush his own teeth, he'd likely miss his mouth on the first approach. It seems like these are things that he should be doing at this age.

However... one of the dinner surprises Mal got on the cruise was a mini Etch-a-Sketch. He used that thing the whole meal, and the one the next night. He loved spinning those tiny knobs and showing us, "I made a 'P'!"

Then, yesterday, he did something he's NEVER done before.

Inspired by a video of a lady making-over LOL Dolls into characters from Teen Titans Go!, he wanted to make paper dolls. I was busy doing something else, so he decided instead just to cut paper. He made a MESSSSssssss but on and off yesterday, cut shapes and corners and just played around with scissor grasp and moving paper (because I told him to stop trying to cut the paper on top of our tablecloth, which he sliced... but which is vinyl because I know what I'm dealing with here).

He's never been interested in cutting things before. So that's one step toward developing more elegant fine-motor skills.

I guess I'll just be patient, because I think he's doing pretty well. And he's having a great time doing it.

I really am curious to see how my kids' ideas about learning and education look like when they're adults. I was just telling someone yesterday that I'm 100% sure I'll never do an organized educational program again, because after school and college, I was so burnt out, I was just done. I did real estate because I had to for a job, and then I studied the insurance stuff on my own... but both were basically mandatory and except for passing the tests, there was little joy in the process. It will be interesting to see if my kids pursue more organized educational opportunities, not having been exhausted by them in their early childhood.

Cozumel, May 3

This morning, we woke up already docked. I went down to the Promenade Cafe for soda and some breakfast snacks, then after everyone got up and dressed, James went to Windjammer for actual breakfast, and Mal and I went to the arcade.

We got off of the ship around 9:00 AM, heading toward the Discover Mexico park. On the way, we stopped in a shop (naturally) and Mal found some wooden knock-off (not even close) Cars for $2 each, so we bought three and then took a brief taxi ride to the park.

Mal had already been crying that he didn’t want to go off the ship, and did not change his tune the WHOLE time we were there. In the traditional Mexican art museum, he did find several things that were interesting to him, namely a “treasure” trunk, and a sand art life-size mural of the Virgin Marie. I loved the papier mache alebreja (sp) best. 

After the museum we got to meet a sweet donkey named Sofi (Mal was too shy to pet it, but wanted me to; man, I want a donkey). James and I got a margarita sample, and they were SMART to give away a taste. It was fabulous!

Outside, there were miniature renditions of Mayan pyramids and other important Mexican historical sites, from ancient history to the present day. Mal was still insisting that we go back to the ship, and would be distracted very briefly by the miniatures. But in the end, we walked through without listening to the guide. We got to observe the pole dancers, which was pretty incredible, and picked up a shirt for D in the gift shop. 

James stayed back for the taco buffet. I think he’s more irritated at Mal than I am. I guess I spend enough time with Mal to kind of expect the unexpected that way; he’s a work in process and, yessss, sometimes I reach the near-end of my rope. But after we took a taxi back to port, ran through the driving rain back to the ship, ate a bit of late breakfast at the Windjammer, and relaxed a little and Mal was ready to face the world again, I was good to go. James had made it back by then and said he wasn’t inclined to do anything Mal wanted to do.

I get the compulsion. But here’s where there’s a difference: I have parented a little kid before. Granted, D was easier in MANY ways. However, I do remember distinctly the times I was inconvenienced or my wants/needs dismissed and absolutely knew it was for no reason than my child’s obstinance. And it pissed me off. So when D would act “normal” (happy), I felt like it was a reflection of complete indifference to my own disappointment and frustration (honestly, it probably was and is). And I’d try to make D feel my bad feelings. Like, I’d try to push them off onto my child until my child adequately felt my disappointment and then felt really bad and would never act that way again.

You know what? I never satisfactorily accomplished that. You know what else? It just ended up with both of us feeling lousy, and I wish I hadn’t done it.

So when Mal wanted to go to the arcade, we did. Then when we saw the kids’ pool was all repainted and open, we went there. We played for about an hour or so, took an ice cream break, and played a little more. I called it a day when I started feeling heat on my healing sunburn, so we came back to the room and now I’m half way ready for formal night. 

I’m going to experiment with my hair and see what happens. I got some really cool earrings I want to try, and I need my hair pulled back.

(later) Got my hair done, did make-up, got dressed. Tonight is the second and last formal night of the cruise. It’s 4:00 PM and we go to dinner at 5:30. Just as I have almost every other night of this trip (except one, I believe), I just went to Sorrento’s to get Mal a couple of slices of cheese pizza. This means he’s typically not super hungry at dinner, but like last night, we brought his chicken “nuggets” back to the room and he ate them later last night, and finished up the fries this afternoon.

I’m hoping to eat lunch at Sorrento’s proper tomorrow. We’ve gotten slices there a couple of times, but I’d like to eat in the cute restaurant. They have some of the neatest salads. I really loved the Promenade Cafe on Voyager, both for their sandwiches and for the chocolate-chip cookies. On Liberty, though, they’ve typically had only the sugar-free cookies (yuck; although just now, I did see the regular ones) AND yesterday afternoon when I was on my solo lunch, I got the salmon wrap… it was so good, but also TINY. And for some reason, the people who work there are all much less happy-seeming than any other crew we’ve encountered on the ship. Every single one. “Here’s your stupid Diet Coke. I hope you choke on it.” I mean, not verbally, but you can tell. It’s what they’re thinking.

I also got Mal a cupcake from the Cupcake Cupboard. I’m basically a “we’re paying for an all-inclusive cruise, and food is part of it, so why would I pay extra for something?” kind of passenger, but those cupcakes looked amazing and were only $3.25. I say “only” because they’re huge and would be $5 at a cupcake store on land, and maybe $8.50 at Disney World. Plus, they’re 1/3 icing. As they should be.

(later later)

Mal was in such a hurry to get his surprise, we left for dinner about half an hour early. Since it only takes maybe 8 minutes to get to that end of the ship, even if we milk it, we dragged things out by walking the corridor looking at art, then going down to the actual art gallery, and popping out onto the promenade deck to see the setting sun.

Our meal went quickly this evening, and James took advantage of the formal night lobster tail after his roasted tomato soup. Then for dessert, he had a chocolate lava cake. I had the chilled strawberry soup, gnocchi with beef ragout, and baked Alaska. 

We continued to chase the sunset after dinner, revisiting the promenade deck then hanging out in the 8th deck landing while our room attendant did our turn-down service (he’d not been able to get in to tidy this morning, as Mal’s quick turn-around in Cozumel didn’t give him time). We could still see the Mexican peninsula as we headed north. A Carnival ship is pacing us; we seem to have been on the same itinerary this whole time.

I’m going to be really honest with you here: I’ve realized that one of the things I’ve liked best about my previous cruises (and, honestly, trips to Disney World) was how cute I looked in all of the outfits I selected for the trip. A combination of age and of my body returning to its natural state (i.e. not manipulated by restriction and punishing workouts) means that I’m taking a lot more pride in the pictures I take of other things than of the snaps of me.

It’s humbling, but I’m seeing how vain I was when I was smaller. I don’t know; it’s hard. On the one hand, I look at pictures of me from then and I think, “It’d be nice to look like that again.” But I also know I don’t want to spend the equivalent of 7 or more work weeks per year on maintaining a body shape that didn’t make me any happier, and that didn’t guarantee me any more (or less) love from anyone in my life who truly cared about me. Recovery from disordered eating and exercise is a pain in the ass; I don’t recommend needing it. Internalized fatphobia is  so hard to totally shake. I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be free from it.

Just a li’l deep thought from a fun day in the Caribbean. Let’s hang in there together, shall we?

Belize, but Not for Us

Hey, hi. I just looked and while we have a $20 delivery fee for our electricity, our rate is, at most, $.09 per kilowatt hour. Yikes!!

Since ship passengers have to tender in to Belize City, we didn’t make any plans for today. I wasn’t sure Mal would do a tender boat, and somehow, even though they’re bigger and carry more people, they actually do look scarier than the water taxi from yesterday (about which Mal asked, “Is this going to be safe?”). 

Instead, we planned to take it easy onboard and enjoy the practically-empty ship. That’s how it turned out, mostly, with the notable exception of about three hours of on-and-off tender ticket number announcements over the PA. If this had happened on the first day of the cruise, we could have had to charter a helicopter to come get us and take us home. Fortunately, Mal HATES it, but now gets that there are fun things to do, too, and we can hang out in our room and mostly not hear the announcements that aren’t emergencies.

We just chilled in the room until 9 or so, when Mal and I went to breakfast at the Windjammer buffet. Only half of it was open, but we had no problem finding a table (not always the case). James had lunch in the main dining room.

We’d worn our bathing suits to breakfast, planning to play in the splash pad after, but saw on our way to the meal that they’re doing some pretty extensive work on the splash pad. Fortunately, the main pool was deserted, and I talked Mal into TRYING to get in again. Just with his feet. Just to feel it.

It was probably 6 degrees warmer than it had been the first day we tried to get in. It was so comfortable! We swam for a couple of hours, when the frequency of the tender announcements sent Mal scrambling for the quiet of the stateroom.

James had joined us for the second half-ish of our pool party. By then there were a good 8 people in the pool. They’d opened the second pool, too, but for some reason no one was in that one.

I got in a shower, and attempted to go to lunch alone. James and Mal stayed in the room, then went to play and apparently decided it was time to eat, so they “found” me as I was finishing up my meal. We all hung out and I left to come back to the room to try to finish writing up about Roatan.

James and Mal came back as I was just about done, and I played with Mal a bit, then we all went back out to see if we could find the anchor. Since we’re moored off of the coast of Belize, we likely dropped anchor. We could see the Carnival Magic’s. And on Voyager of the Seas, D and I found where the anchor is stowed toward the front of the ship, an area that was closed when we were stopped.

But on this ship, we saw no such thing. We couldn’t see an anchor at all, though we realized looking at the Carnival ship that they wouldn’t have been able to see their anchor, either. We did enjoy a stroll around the promenade deck, including a much less windy visit to the helipad.

Back to the room for television and games, and lots of watching the tender boats, one set of which docked right below our room. Although the “all aboard” was 4:30, by the time we were leaving for dinner at 5:20, they were just unloading the last one. 

I’d love to have spent some time in Belize City; I think D would LOVE the animal park, and Mal would have enjoyed it. But watching people bobbing out in the ocean waiting for their turn to pull up to the ship, then having to wait while so many people unloaded… ugh. It looked stressful. I mean, if you’re the kind of person who finds waiting problematic. And I don’t, necessarily. Waiting with my little, though? No thank me.

Our server, Noel, and assistant server. Charmaine, are so sweet to Mal. After the second night, Charmaine started bringing Malcolm his own soda, which we are not paying for. And Noel cuts Mal’s chicken strips into nuggets. They are trying so hard to please him, and he’s really kind of a jerk right now. Very focused on what he wants, to the exclusion of politeness. That might be a typical 4-year-old thing, but D was quite gracious and appreciative as a youngster. It’s a trick not to be frustrated with Mal not just for being inconsiderate, but for making me look like a bad parent. I try to keep that angle out of things, but, goodness. We’re modeling all over the place and I’m ready for him to pick it up!

James had a crab cake and ahi tuna for dinner. I got the creamy mushroom soup and prime rib with au gratin potatoes. It was perfect. We both had the Grand Marnier soufflé for dessert, and it did not disappoint.

After dinner, James brought Mal’s left-overs back to the room while Mal and I visited the arcade. There is a circular bank of games in the middle of the arcade, which meanders a bit, and if Mal could run around that circle for hours a day, he would. He likes to play that he’s PacMan and I’m a ghost. 

We made sure the pool was open and came back to the room to change into our bathing suits. The water was still so warm and comfy. They were showing “Mary Poppins Returns,” and it might have been better for me if I’d seen it from the beginning. I wasn’t super impressed. But I had a great time swimming with Mal and the few kids who were out there. We got in during daylight and Mal noticed soon that it was dark. At about 8 o’clock, they closed the first of the two pools, so everyone had to get out and go to the other pool. For some reason, that pool was about 4 degrees cooler, and it was A LOT windier on the port side of the ship. We lasted all of 3 minutes in that pool before we decided it was time to return to the room.

It was so windy, Mal and I were almost dry by the time we got to the elevator banks. Now we’re all dressed for bed and getting ready to call it a night. The most relaxing day of vacation so far, definitely!

Roatan, in Full

We woke up early enough to watch the ship approach, round, and dock at Roatan. There have been obvious changes since I visited in January 2010, namely that they’re expanding the port to accommodate a second ship. Well, anyway, that was the most visible change at the moment. Later, we passed an entire second port that CAN hold two ships. So, as opposed to nine years ago when the island could only hold one ship at a time, it can now hold three. And it did. There were two Carnival ships at the newer port, in addition to our Liberty of the Seas.

We had breakfast delivered, and then got ready to go meet our tour guide.

Another big change since last time is that they’ve built white kiosks for the guides to find people to hire them. Before, once you got out of the port’s gates, you were just bodily swarmed by people wanting to give you a ride. This time, there was still the yelling and trying to get attention, but it was a lot more comfortable not to be physically approached!

We found our guide, and walked up the road a bit to where her car was parked. On the way, we stopped in a storefront to purchase a water and Sprite, as they’d told us we couldn’t bring food or drinks off of the ship. Turns out we could have; no one checked. But it’s good to put as much money into the local economy, so I’m glad we had the opportunity.

Our tour guide was Nola, who grew up on Roatan. She is probably a bit older than James and me, not much, with sons who are 29 and 21. She described a childhood on an island that had no development, no electricity, and, she said, they were “wild,” sleeping with chickens. Then at some point, a head honcho of Century 21 visited and started developing the land. She said that now, they rely on tourism as, in the past, they could live off of what they farmed. Now, because so much of the island is privately-owned, there’s no room to farm and they need people to visit.

The wild Roatan sounded idyllic, so I asked her if she was sad that that way of life was gone. She deftly dodged the question, saying that when she was younger, “We didn’t know anything about how life was. We had no television, no internets. We didn’t know about what was going on anywhere else.”

Our first stop was a small animal “park.” It was really just a few habitats in someone’s back yard, and it was jammed packed with people. We were excited about seeing and holding a sloth, but the line was clearly more than half an hour. We went to see the capuchin monkeys first, instead.

The monkeys were high-spirited and very interactive. People were emptying their water bottles or letting the monkeys drink out of them because those monkeys were either really thirsty (one was licking the spilled water off of a 2x4 path) or just curious… sticking their hands down in the wider-mouthed bottles to see if there was any treasure hiding inside.

The monkeys jumped onto and off of Mal’s head, and onto James’s shoulder. One climbed onto my back. They have good grips, but not claws, so even when they’d jump off, it wasn’t painful. One girl complained that they “pulled” her hair, but the monkey had actually wrapped his tail around her ponytail and used it to swing a bit. The habitat was full of hanging braids of rope, so it made sense.

At one point, a monkey was on my back for some time, then someone said it was getting into my backpack. Momentarily, he hopped away, climbing to the top of the habitat, well out of reach, with his treasure: a pink floral drawstring pouch.

Everyone laughed and the keeper asked, “What is that?” I said, “Well, actually, it’s a menstrual cup.” He said, “He’ll drop it eventually.” I assured him, “That’s okay; I don’t need it at the moment.”

He gave it the college try to open the bag and spill out the contents, but I have it knotted. Eventually, after he’d dragged it through the water, he got bored and dropped it. But we laughed so much. I made sure my zippers were zipped AND tucked after that.

I got a few pictures and videos of the monkeys, up close and personal. When they’d see the camera lens pointed at them, they’d reach out for it. I have a wind muffler on the top of the mic, and they tried to eat that, and tried to open the pop-up flash to see if there was anything interesting in there. They’re pretty clever. We could have stayed in there all day, but other people were waiting.

We tried to get into the sloth line again, this time much shorter. But just as it was about to be our turn, Mal started getting weepy and ready to leave. I walked him over to the macaws, and we got right in. But while the keeper was explaining what was going to happen, Malcom just almost lost it so we had to go. 

Still, James was right that the monkey interaction was worth the price of admission.

Our next stop was at the boat dock for a mangrove tour. This was the best way to see the way the people on the water actually live. I mean, yeah, there were plenty of makeshift bars and rich people homes, but also actual homes, churches, and even public schools right over the water.

The water taxi took us through a couple of bays and into the mangroves, trails hollowed out by pirates looking for a place to hide. Some of the island towns of Roatan are reachable only by boat, and those children have to take personal boats or water taxis to get to school.

May 1 is actually their Labor Day holiday, so we got to see many children out riding bikes, swimming, playing, and accompanying parents on errands. Whenever I saw kids swimming, I almost never saw adults with them. This is one of the things I always find wistful about visiting places like this. I’d love for our neighborhood to be the kind of place where all the kids could go down to the lake together unsupervised. The one grown-up I did see had a baby on her hip and was wading a bit into the sea, carelessly trailing her sarong into the water as she waited for a boat to beach.

Roatan is about 36 miles long, but only 3 miles wide, so, our tour guide explained, you can’t get lost. There is one main road that runs the length of the island, and it is politically split in two, governed by two mayors. It seems like the mayors are very wealthy (we passed the home of one), so I guess that’s just a global thing.

Nola also showed us a bus stop along the main road, and said that the bus comes by every three hours, because gas is expensive and they want it to be full when it runs. It doesn’t have a schedule, though. On our drive back to the port, I saw a woman wearing her baby, laid out relaxing, waiting. That’s one way to raise patient kids!I haven’t done that very well. 

Because Mal was telling Nola that after he turned 5, he wasn’t going to have any more birthdays, we got into a conversation about adult children. I told her that I think Mal’s not wanting to get older was due to the fact that D is about ready to move out, and Mal doesn’t ever want to. Nola said he should move to Roatan, where everyone lives with their parents. She said it’s too hard to have so many single households, so you just stay with your parents, then if you get married, you live with whichever set of parents has more room.

I was grateful to her for sharing things about her home life and family. She said that electricity here is a dollar per kilowatt hour, so they have to reserve it. For this reason, at night, they turn off everything but fans. This includes the refrigerator. After it’s dark and not so hot, they unplug the fridge until morning.

I’m guessing all of the foreigners, Americans and Canadians, and there’s even a big Czech village with a second one on the way, do not live that way.

I asked her if the influx of foreigners drives up prices for everyone else, and she said that everything’s always been expensive because it has to come on barges from the mainland. She said that they have to go over to Honduras if they need major medical procedures, even if they’d rather not. She said it’s very unsafe over there, while Roatan is peaceful. She said if we ever hear of any murders on Roatan, we can rest assured that it was someone who had wronged someone on the mainland, then tried to escape to Roatan, and had been followed and found.

Nola pointed out that since Roatan’s an island, it’s difficult to get away with crime. The only way to get away is by boat, and so people are easily apprehended. She took great pride in showing us the uncomfortable conditions of their island jail, which has cells purposefully tiny and without windows, where prisoners sleep on the floor, and if there is more than one person in the cell, they have to take turns lying down. She also said that they’re not given food, but that prisoners rely on family to bring them meals. She said if they’re lucky, people with no family can talk cellmates into sharing. Nola said that this discourages crime and recidivism.

We returned to the ship without going to West End. I’ve seen it, but it was deserted as our guide took us before the ship tours got there. Nola assured us that the beach would be packed, but that she would be more than happy to take us over there if we wanted. Since it’s basically a resort, we declined. James and I would happily have eaten at a local restaurant, but I didn’t figure they’d have anything for Mal (D would have loved the adventure) so we got back on board and had lunch in the Windjammer.

After lunch, we had a nice relaxing afternoon in the room. We wound down, watched the last people run the dock at 4:35, and found the unmooring process fascinating. Then it was time for dinner. James got there a little late as he was having some tech issues he needed to finish up, and Mal and I left a little early as they did the fun staff recognition/performance… but it was loud. And loud means Mal is OUT.

James had the tomato and goat cheese pastry, vegetable korma, and creme brulee. I had coconut shrimp, korma, and then James brought my pavlova to the room since I missed the dessert course. Mal’s dinner surprise was a Slinky.

Mal had been thinking about playing in the splash pad, but it seemed to be closed after about 6 PM. Instead, we played in the room and went to sleep very early. James and I were probably asleep by 8 PM, and Mal was ready to turn off the television and go to sleep by 9, which is early for him! All of this sun and fun is wearing us all out. I could have slept another two hours or more this morning.

Fortunately, we’re at a port we weren’t planning to visit, so we’ve had a lazy day on board, but more on that next post…

Roatan, Briefly

I am tired! I’ll try to go into more detail about our day later, but for now, know this: A capuchin monkey got into my backpack and stole my menstrual cup... in front of quite a crowd. James said it was worth the price of admission and Mal could not stop laughing. Good day.