My mom was telling me about the Advent series her church is doing, and mentioning how different that was to what the church of Christ (coC) has historically done.
When we were growing up, the coCs we attended all but ignored Christmas, since "it's not really Jesus's birthday, anyway," I guess? If Christmas fell on a Sunday, we went to church and heard a sermon that might be about Paul's travels, or about Nebuchadnezzar, or Jesus's friendship with Mary/Martha/Lazarus. There was some cognitive dissonance that I did not understand, but got the message that it was disingenuous to pretend Christmas was about Jesus's birth, since we know he wasn't born in winter at all.
I remember one winter when I was in 5th grade, we were drawing pictures in art class. We were supposed to draw a nativity or something, and I told my teacher that I didn't think I could do that. When she asked why, I guess I mumbled something about it being like lying, acting like it was Jesus's birthday. My friend Cindy Cole responded with, "Oh, Laura, don't be a fool," as she drew a spectacular three-dimensional star.
Later that season, I was asked to write a bit for the last school newspaper of the year. I barely remember anything about it, except that I ended it with: "We look forward to a break where we can celebrate Christmas and remember the birth of Jesus."
At some point later, my parents had received the newsletter and asked me about it. They might have just been interested to know why I'd written what I did, but since I was just a kid, I remember feeling like I was in trouble. So I did what I always did when I thought I was in trouble: I lied. I said I hadn't in fact written that, that I'd ended it after "celebrate Christmas" and that an adult in the office must have added on the end bit.
It never occurred to me as a child that my parents could very easily fact-check my story. But it never made sense to me that for some reason, a church would be anti-remembering the birth of their savior.
As an adult, I've attended a few more liturgical denominations, including Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, Episcopal, and United Churches of Christ (which is decidedly NOT affiliated with the churches of Christ). And even the non-denominational churches in Las Vegas and Sherman had an advent season.
This year, I'm not taking part in any religious services as I've stepped away from church indefinitely. The further I get from it, the more I realize how traumatized I was/am by the way I was treated and the way other women have been treated by the way the church is structured and how "church discipline" is handled and how charismatic men can get away with murder, practically and maybe probably literally? And I get that none of this is Jesus's fault, but it's healing for me to walk the path I'm walking now so thanks for respecting that.
Speaking of the main man of Christmas, here's another one: Santa Claus.
Growing up, we did not believe in Santa. We LOVED Christmas, and it was a magical time. We always got a present "from" Santa but knew it was my parents. They still snuck around and saved the best surprises for Santa to creatively leave out for us to discover. We left milk and cookies out for Santa, and they'd be mostly eaten in the morning. We knew it was Dad who ate them, but it was a cool touch. This seemed an ideal way to treat a Christmas icon, so I did the same thing with my kids.
D was fine. Mal, at the age of 4ish, decided that there WAS a Santa, despite my telling him that Santa Claus is a fictional character based on Saint Nicholas, a gentleman who wanted to help children and needy families. I told him that Santa Claus is the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas, but not a real entity. He insisted that he was.
Last year, he straight up asked me, "Mom, tell me the truth: Is Santa real?" And I said, "This is NOT fair! I always told you the truth, but you insist that he is real, and now we're at this place where I have to break your heart by telling you the truth. THIS is what I was trying to avoid!"
Cut to this year; Mal is 9 and at the age that a lot of kids start growing out of Santa. I don't know if he blocked my revelation out or what, but he's still going strong. He wrote a letter to Santa and put it in the mailbox a few weeks ago. When I've mentioned that some of the stuff he's asked for is pretty expensive, he's said, "That's okay. Santa will get it for me!" (He's lucky because the most expensive thing he wanted WAS gifted to us by a friend who had an extra one lying around. Ho ho ho, Christmas miracle and all that.)
