Saturday, February 19, 2022

Well, eBay, it's been a nice 23 years, but I'm done...

In early 1999, I signed up for an eBay account. It was fun to have access to almost anything I could think of (kind of before Amazon was doing that), and soon I realized that I had things other people wanted, too. 

During the lean years of my second marriage, I made enough money on eBay to get us through some tight times. I sold things that were dear to me, but desperate times...

I'd found an expensive (to me: $25) copy of the long-out-of-print book "Jellybeans for Breakfast" that I ended up selling a couple of years later because I realized that it would sell for over $200.

I sold a Grover stuffed doll I'd had since childhood... It had been my first experience with savings. I wanted Grover really badly; he was about the size of the actual Muppet, but a doll and not a puppet. He was $5. I had $1. My parents told me that if I saved my allowance, I could get him for myself. I got $.25 a week. So for months, no bike rides down to Wilke's Grocery to see how much candy I could snag for $1. That was a neighborhood staple, so it was rough! I was only 5 years old, as well. Delayed gratification comes HARD at that age. Anyway, sixteen weeks later, I walked out of Walmart with my buddy Grover! But in my early 30s, someone was willing to pay $85 for him, so it was a no-brainer.

I also sold four Little People sets: Sesame Street, schoolhouse, hospital, and house. As my sister and I have had a "second round" of kids, and my niece has a young 'un now, I think maybe my mom regrets giving me those. But it was more than $350 that we desperately needed. 

My ex-mother- and sister-in-law both had/have excellent taste in... everything. And they would often send me clothes for D. These were gorgeous smocked white dresses for Easter, and gingham jumpsuits with ruffles and bows. From the very beginning, these were not D's taste on any level. So what I would do is save one outfit for portraits, and sell the rest on eBay when they were new with tags. Ca-ching!

Yesterday, I happened to look through my selling history, and I'm amazed at how many things I sold for $1-$5. That represents the majority of what I sold! I did some volume, and made sure to pad shipping a bit, so it was apparently worth it for me.

Then, maybe ten years ago, eBay changed their fee structure. You didn't have to pay to list something, but they charged a lot more as a seller's fee. I hadn't sold anything in a few years, then had some things to get rid of, and between increased shipping charges and their increased take of the sale, it just wasn't worth it.

In January, however, I decided to get a compact camera with good zoom (less than my giant Nikon, but more than my tiny Sony) and then sell both of the cameras I had. Especially with the dog, carrying around a camera the size of a DSLR is just not practical. I sold the Nikon for a nice price (I threw in all of the accessories I'd bought for it, so the buyer got a good deal, too). Then I ordered my new camera, and after I got it, I sold my Sony, as well. 

A week after I'd sold the second camera, I got a message asking about why they hadn't received the camera yet. I assumed it was about the Sony, until I looked at the tracking and realized that, although I'd dropped the Nikon off on Saturday, January 14 at a local shipping company, because it was the weekend and Monday was a holiday, it hadn't been picked up by the post office until Tuesday, January 17. And it had not moved since then. It was January 28. So this guy was super patient to wait two weeks after purchase on an item we'd shipped Priority. The other camera, which I'd mailed a week later by dropping off at an actual post office in Cedar Park, had gotten there two days later.

I immediately filed a service request with the Post Office. I hadn't heard anything in 24 hours, but had gotten two automated emails: one from the Post Office at large, and one from the Lago Vista branch. I called Lago Vista and talked to a guy who said the item was sitting in Austin and we were just at their mercy of when to send it out because of staffing issues. I was skeptical, "But for TWO WEEKS? I sent something out of Cedar Park and it got where it was going just fine." He said yes. I asked him for a number I could call to file an insurance claim, because this dude had paid $900 for the camera and I wanted to get him his money back. The employee said that I had to wait 30 days before filing an insurance claim.

I was in constant contact with the buyer, explaining all of this to him. A week passed. I got a notice that he'd filed a complaint with eBay. I told him that I understood why he'd done it, and I answered eBay's questions about the situation. In the meantime, I found out that you don't have to wait 30 days to file an insurance claim for Priority mail; just 15 days. Dang. I filed an insurance claim immediately.

eBay messaged me after a couple of days and said that they'd decided in the buyer's favor and were going to take $900 out of my checking account (even though I'd only received $736... they have to get their mon-ay!) because I hadn't provided proof of delivery. They said:

"To avoid this in the future; I’d like to share with you some detailed information about proof of delivery, so you don't have to worry about a lost item in the future. Please ensure a tracking number with in your handling time. When a buyer doesn't receive an item, sellers are protected if they can provide proof of delivery. Proof of delivery is tracking information from a shipping company that clearly displays:

"1.The delivery status of the item as 'delivered' or 'attempted delivery'

"2. The date of delivery (which shows the seller posted within stated handling time)

"3. The recipient's address, displaying at least the city and state or ZIP code (or the equivalent) of the address listed in the sale

"4. For transactions $750 USD (or local currency equivalent) or more, confirmation of the recipient's signature is required."

I answered: "I sent you the tracking number. I bought postage through eBay. I can't help that it wasn't delivered; I tendered it to the postal service. I'm trying to recoup from them. And if they somehow find it now and it gets to him, I have no way to get my money back. I don't understand how you can say you don't have the tracking info since it's literally in my account, AND I sent you the number along with screen shots. What else am I supposed to do?"

They responded: "I’ve reviewed the case further and found that at the time we stepped in and made a decision on February 11, 2022, their [sic] is no new update from the tracking, last update was January 18, 2022. Checking further today it shows new movement. Since it’s already way past the estimated delivery date and the buyer didn’t have their purchased item yet, we closed the case in their favor and gave them a refund. We highly advise you to keep track of the item and be in continuous communication with your buyer. Once the tracking shows delivered, you have 2options: 1. Send your buyer an invoice through PP for them to repay for the item; or 2. Send your buyer a return label for them to send your item back Most buyers easily agree to these options because they already got their money back."

Excuse me for being cynical. But new movement? What?

I just responded to eBay: "I did everything you suggested. We were in communications the whole time."

I looked and, sure enough, my service request didn't do squat, but once I filed an insurance claim, that seemed to have lit a match under them and they miraculously located the camera. 

My final (I thought) email from eBay said: "At this point, it would be best if you will continue contacting USPS to get an update about your claim and possibly get your item or money back. To avoid the same situation when sending items to your buyers: • Purchase shipping insurance. Shipping insurance is the only way to protect you in the event that an item does not get delivered to a buyer and may be lost in transit. • Use a trusted carrier. Make sure to use a carrier that has great history when it comes to shipping service."

By this point, I knew they weren't going to listen to me. And the $900 had come out of my checking account. But I just said, "Again, I literally did everything you're suggesting."

The buyer got the camera and immediately sent me $900 via PayPal. He managed to avoid sales tax, so good for him. I messaged eBay and asked them to close down my appeal, and I wanted to close my eBay account.

But THEN, I got THIS email from eBay: "Upon checking on ebay's end, we do see that the USPS item number shows item got delivered last February 15, 2022 and the buyer also confirmed that item was received.  In line with this, we are able to reverse the refund made for the buyer. Laura, you were not held at fault. You do not have to do anything else. I will be sending you a confirmation email in the next few minutes. Funds for $900.00 should be released back to your Bank account in the next 24 - 48 hours. I am glad I've fully resolved your concern for today. We value your business." 

NO YOU DO NOT.

I had already closed down my PayPal account, and that's the only way the buyer has to get his money back! This is the worst. So now I DID request my eBay account be deleted, and I'm waiting for the money to hit my account so I can sign up for PayPal for 20 minutes, send this dude his money back, and we can be DONE WITH THE WHOLE THING.

Ridiculous.

I do like my new camera, though!

Monday, February 14, 2022

Is Mal Becoming a Mini-Me?

 If it's 9:00 AM, Malcolm is dressed for the day.

For most of Mal's life, he's pretty much been happy doing his thing in a diaper or his underpants. Especially having been home so much the past year, he was getting used to not being dressed.

For whatever reason, during the past couple of months, he's decided that he gets dressed at 9:00. If he wakes up at 8:15, he'll watch videos or chat for a while, then hop out of bed at 9 and put on his clothes. If he wakes up after 9:00, the first thing he does is get dressed.

I've never made him get dressed unless we were going somewhere. I liked it better when he was clothed, but since that's just my own preference, I never pressed it. Now it's his idea, and it's cool that it just happened organically.

Also, he's taken up one of my favorite pastimes: religiously studying lyrics and "practicing" singing songs until he has them memorized. In this case, it's the "Encanto" soundtrack. He is super proud of himself when he can sing a few of the songs all the way through.

The other day, we got into the car, and he asked, "Who needs a radio when you have me?!"

What a great kid!

Another thing Mal is doing lately is getting his feelings VERY hurt when I don't agree with him, then bargaining with me to say that I DO agree with him. One example, going back to the lyrics thing: A couple of the printed lyrics from "Encanto" are wrong. There's one part where Maribel sings, "Well, I gotta go; the life of a Madrigal!" But the lyrics say something like, "Well, I've got a good life of a Madrigal" or something that doesn't really make sense in the context of the song. (Another one, where the townspeople sing, "We're only up the road," they have, "We're rolling up the road." What? No, they aren't. Good grief.)

Having memorized everything so carefully (as well as taking incredibly seriously ANYTHING that's in writing), Mal is pretty invested in the incorrect lyrics. I told him he can sing them however he wants, but he wants me to agree that the wrong lyrics are right. And I can't, because they're not, and I don't lie to my kids. Anyway, he cried and stayed in his closed room for an hour, after threatening to do so if I didn't agree. When I still didn't agree, he was pretty disappointed. 

All of this to say that life with Mal continues to be an adventure. I never imagined I'd have such a young kiddo when I was closing in on 50, but it's such a blessing. Love this child.

Saturday, February 5, 2022

"I think I'm going to start taking pictures of my clean folded laundry"

"It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid. I Instagram every meal I've had." - Al Yankovic, "Tacky"

A friend of mine moved recently, and we've been keeping up via email and the occasional text. She'd offered me a one-off job, and when I responded that I really didn't have the time or energy to do it, I was kind of in a funk. Those have been happening on and off for the past year or more, and I'm thinking it might have to do with peri-menopause and hormones. Anyway, I sent her a link to our December pictures because we really did have some good times that month (we have good times every month, actually, of course).

When she responded, she said that she really enjoyed the pictures. "I especially loved seeing your food photos. They are proof that you are accomplishing things every day! I should do the same. Maybe I’ll also take photos of piles of folded laundry!"

My friend is literally the most encouraging person I know. After I'm around her, I always feel so lifted up and affirmed. So her sentiment was sweet, but I also don't think she (or maybe anyone else) understands why I take pictures of food. Maybe it IS because I'm "Tacky," although I don't IG my meals (probably only because Luke is the account-holder-of-record).

But long before social media was a thing, I've taken pictures of food. It started with when I'd eat at really nice restaurants, which wasn't often. Food is plated with care, and it's like a work of art. It's also ephemeral. So I like to capture the beauty of it before it's gone.

James spent hours working on his first bookshelf. He took pictures of each step to record the progress, he learned a lot, and the finished shelf is beautiful. We still have it. We will have it for years. Every time I make a meal, I spend time on it. I learn things when I cook. I produce something that is for my benefit, and often for the benefit of the entire family (except that ingrate, Mal, who only eats my desserts and never my actual meals). 

For me, I don't really take pictures of the food to remind myself that I accomplished a meal, though I suppose it will be a good reminder if I ever need one. It's because I delight in the aesthetics of a pretty, delicious plate (or bowl; or tumbler). I enjoy a tasty, fulfilling meal. Taking a picture of it means that once it's gone, I can still see the picture and remember that great serving of food.

I also take pictures of doughnuts, cakes, ice cream, pretty drinks, cool and weird candy I've never seen before. I mean, I take pictures of everything, actually. My family, nature, public art, weird stuff... This is primarily how I remember things. Every day, Google reminds me of thing that happened on this day last year, the year before, the year before that... And it's fun to see "Oh, yeah, we've been doing the vegetarian eMeals for almost a whole decade!" and "I'd forgotten that I made that cake for Valentine's last year!" and "Thank god Mal isn't a baby anymore!" 

I don't have as much visceral pleasure eating food as I used to, back when I was restricting. Back then, I would practically moan through a good meal or dessert. Now, I still appreciate it, but when you eat what you want, it all kind of stabilizes. Kind of like when you're generally happy, your highs aren't quite as high as they used to be, because you don't have super lows to bounce back from.

Anyway, here are some pictures of meals we've had in the past few weeks. Call me wacky, but I don't think I'd feel as happy about pictures of my balled-up socks.



Obviously, I didn't make these. Aren't they cute, though? Super tasty.


A veggie pancake I saw on TikTok.

Arepas I prepared after we watched "Encanto" a time or two.




Happy weekend and happy eating!