Year-later endocrinologist follow-up, with bonus gynecology content!

I met with my endocrinologist today for the first time since my surgery. She told me that I needed to get a neck ultrasound ASAP, as I really should have gotten one pretty soon after the surgery. I wish I'd known because I had insurance until the end of August 2024! Now I'm applying for the Travis County Medical Access Program.

Also, the doctor mentioned that the medication I'm taking is actually lower than my weight would dictate I need, so she's wondering if that means part of my thyroid was left. I definitely hope not, because that would mean another surgery. I know there was a lot of inflammation, and I know guts look a lot alike so I suppose that anything is possible.

This wasn't a lot of fun when I had insurance, but I wasn't worried about the finances at all. If I have to do it again, it's going to suck, but it will suck a lot more than it did when I didn't have to stress over every penny (or tens of thousands of dollars).

To review, here's what I had done: Neck ultrasounds (one in an imaging place, two at my endocrinologist's office, and one in the surgeon's office), two sets of biopsies, a DEXA scan for bone loss, multiple labs measuring PTH and Vitamin D, a 24-hour urine test (the worst part of the experience by a wide margin), a nuclear scan (two+ hour procedure), a pre-op visit with the surgeon, the surgery and overnight in a surgical hospital, post-op with surgeon, more labs, and now prescription forever.  

Also, my regular doctor wants me to see a gynecologist because of some menopause stuff that isn't like "I feel weird" but like "that shouldn't happen and you need to get it looked at." And actually, I feel fine. It's hard to worry much when you don't feel off, but that's how it was with my hyperparathyroidism and Hashimoto's, so I know my body likes to hide dysfunction from my feelers.

I'm hoping if we get approved for the MAP, then I can stop obsessing over find the cheapest care for each specialty.

I hate healthcare being tied to a job.

My friend Adrienne told me that she doesn't care if I have to go into medical debt to take care of myself, so if that happens I'm just putting all of my medical providers on notice that Adrienne in Las Vegas (kind of) assured me it would be JUST FINE. You'll get $200 a month for the rest of my life, so I guess you'd better do a good job to make sure that I'm going to be around to pay it for a long time.

When you see it visualized like this, it seems like it wouldn't be any big deal to get the thyroid out! But also... that she removed the thyroid but kept 3 of my parathyroid glands in there is pretty unbelievable.

I always used to say...

 ... Back when I was married to someone else, that if my ex-husband ever died, I would get fat, and I'd get an RV. Over time, I added that I'd also get another tattoo. 

Well, apparently, it didn't take a death. It only took a decoupling. 

The first thing I did was to get an RV. And I LOVED it!

Me loving my RV so hard.
(Thanks, Gabrielle, for the photoshoot...
14 years ago!)

As you can tell by that older photo above, I'm also bigger than I was back in that day. It took a long time for me to get comfortable with my body, but it has helped to have a partner who is very comfortable with it. I mean, if I'd remained single, I probably would have been fine with it, as well... it's just that being married to someone who views your body with suspicion and expects it to disappoint if you're not constantly managing it makes just living a normal life pretty impossible. In the words of Madeye Moody, "Constant vigilance" and all that. It's exhausting. (Also: JK Rowling, p-tooey.)

Then, not only did I get another tattoo; I've gotten three more, including 2 since I turned 50! And I got my nose pierced!

To my complementarian/"servant leader head of the family" ladies, I will say: Bodily autonomy is incredible, and you should really try it.

I've been thinking about this a lot as we consider our financial future in the days of massive layoffs across the country, and the seemingly decreasing likelihood of James finding a "career-level" job in tech (which he's honestly fine with; but it seems like the Leander Independent School District doesn't want a tech bro as a night janitor, either).

We're looking at selling the house and moving out of the country. We're looking at selling the house, getting an RV, and moving across the Rural Market road. Or out of Texas, as James thinks if we're going to get rid of the house, we should GO.

Mal loves the idea of living in an RV. James is okay with it, too. In other words, I don't have to wait for him to die before considering things I'd enjoy... 

... Although, if James weren't around, I might consider cutting my hair a lot shorter. He has said that it's my hair and I can do whatever I want with it, of course; but I also know he likes longer hair (on everyone, not just me) so I'm keeping it. For now. 

On Automobiles and more grousing about spending money like we're rich

A couple of months ago, I mentioned that the drive train might be going out in one of our vehicles. Fortunately, that was not the case. It was just that the rotors were rusted so it kind of felt like driving with the brakes partially engaged.

We got that fixed to the tune of something like $1500, felt lucky about that, then three days after we got the car home, the "check engine" light came on. It went back out, we thought we were getting a reprieve, but then it came back on.

That tine, it was the emissions system. Everything physically was working okay, but we had to replace a sensor and get a firmware update, which was another $700ish.

NOW... when Mal and I were coming home yesterday, my car overheated. I pulled into QuikTrip to buy some coolant, then I called James to come follow me to the garage. I drove slowly, with the windows down and the heater way up, idling at stop lights, and made it to the garage without the car heating up again.

Apparently, I managed to keep it from damaging the radiator but a few things needed repair: the thermostat, the radiator cap neck (which melted a bit from the heat and prevents the cap from staying securely on), a cool flush, and an oil change... for just under $1000.

But, oops, when they were taking some bolts off, the bolts broke and fell into the housing, which has to be replaced. They're not charging us extra labor for that, but the housing is another $400.

Like, I'm buying stuff that's $.50 off the usual price trying to make our money last longer (which I do when James is working, but we also have money coming in, unlike now) but we just keep having to spend thousands of dollars... on repairs, on our auto insurance renewal (and, of course, the price went up because of a $700 claim), our city's water company started charging more (they should!).

James said he's averaged applying for about 10 jobs per week since he got laid off. That's well over 500 applications. I've applied for jobs and have been told I'll be invited in for an interview at one, but that was weeks ago so I'm not holding my breath. 

I will say that I'm having some luck at cobbling together side gigs like mystery shopping, marketing research, and now I'm getting into pet-sitting (kind of). 

What's kind of funny, though, is that I'm trying to get Mal to take some classes next semester to learn how to skate or swim or other stuff. And that would cost money. But I guess we're lucky because Mal says he teaches himself his own skills, so he declines. 

Speaking of Mal... He had 2 teeth pulled the last time he went under anesthesia for dental work in April 2023 and we were told at the time that it might be years until he lost more teeth. It was! However, in the past 10 days, he's lost 3 molars! And another one is loose. 

He still hasn't lost his canines, which feels wrong. But his mouth is a wonderland of weirdness, anyway.

They wanted to do braces pretty quickly, and he'll probably still need them eventually;
but his teeth have moved on their own A LOT in the past 2 years!

UPDATE: After I posted this, Mal lost his second molar of the day!!

UPDATE 2: It ended up being just over $1800. Le sigh. 

What's one little drive train among friends, really?

Remember how we had our dishwasher unclogged right before we went to Louisiana? It's clogged again and making the absolute worst metallic-sounding noise. The same guy is coming out to look at it this evening. Maybe. I'm getting "ghost" vibes from them, so we'll see.

Furthermore, one of our cars has been running rough... I guess; I don't drive it, but going by D's description, the mechanic said, "It sounds like it could be the drive train." Perfect. They have the car so I get to take D to work the next few mornings. I'm up, anyway, but I don't usually have to drive in morning traffic so that will be a fun time.

You know how they say that youth is wasted on the young? Well, I guess you could say that money is wasted on the old, but you won't have to worry about that with us! We're spending our retirement savings on near-constant break-downs. 

Everybody's Working... (except for James)

As I mentioned in the last post, it's not officially been a year since James got laid off. (And now it's been a year since I had parathyroid and thyroid surgery!)

Actually, right this moment, everyone else in the house is working at least a little bit!

D's been working retail coming up on 2 years. They work D A LOT for a "part time" employee, and I have all sorts of opinions about that (like that D deserves full benefits, a raise, and hours lumped together instead of 4 hours every day of the week) but it's not my job or my business. I'm just proud of D for sticking it out at as long as they have! I don't think I ever stayed at a job for 2 years until I started working for Terra West as a divorced lady.

I've been doing mystery shops, some in-person research stuff, and online surveys. We couldn't live on it, but it's something to do for "fun" money every now and then.

Even Mal is chipping in! He did one online survey video call thing about a year ago, he did a mystery shop with me a few months ago, and he just got off of a call here he commented on some educational products that are under development. 

I don't think I posted this before, but here's what I got out of the mystery shop he helped me do:

He got $20 and I got a free photo that people pay a minimum of $200 for! Win/win.

In the meantime, the money James earned and saved is getting us through this. I hope he feels a little of the pressure off of him from our input. 

Now I have to go transfer some money into Mal's account to pay for the discussion he just completed!

Good NEWS!

 ...No one is dead, though, so don't worry.

You might have read my last post. It's been a crazy couple of weeks.

Today, Informed Delivery told me that I would be getting a piece of mail from my mortgage lender. I was hopeful that it was an updated escrow calculation, because I'd just looked last week to see that our payment amount changed last year in May and knew we were getting close to that time.

I was excited because we had finally managed to merge our three lots last year (after asking about it in 2018 and being denied due to a snafu, then thinking it was impossible until someone recommended I try doing it in 2023 when I was protesting our value -- as I have every year).

WELL, I was right. That's what it was. And the good news is that our monthly payment is going down by $350! We're within $200 of what the original payment was, before property values soared, then we refinanced it and got it down a bit, and then it went way up again. I'm grateful. This will be a huge break for us.

BUT what I was not expecting was... A FAT REFUND CHECK FROM LAST YEAR.

I suppose that makes sense: We underpay and we have to make it up. But I guess I just assumed they'd keep the overage in escrow to pay next year's. 

Oh my gosh, what a giant relief.

It covers the car, all of the maintenance guys, and the trip we're taking very soon.

But don't worry; I'm not going to get too big for my britches.

Even as I opened this up to write this awesome post, the keyboard on my laptop stopped working, so this is how I'm managing at the moment:

It is always something, is it not??

Still... a pretty uplifting afternoon, all things considered.

Mo' problems... Less money

AS YOU KNOW, with James out of work, we've been taking it easy on the cash outflow side. But the past two weeks has just conspired against us!

First. the week before last I had not one but two fender-benders. Well, the first one was actually just that I pulled up at a stop and a tow hitch went through one of my headlights. I bought a new one and was going to put it in myself, but then I had a side-swipe event and had to get a couple of panels banged out, anyway, so I had that guy put the new fixture in. $$$$

 

Then the other night, our dishwasher stopped draining. I couldn't see anything wrong with it, so we had a plumber come out yesterday. He said that everything was fine, plumbing-wise, so we needed to get an appliance repair person. He also said that we need a new garbage disposal, and estimated that he could replace it for the low low cost of $700. No thanks. We'll get a cheap one and find some dude to install it. Anyhoo. $$

Today, an appliance guy came out and fixed the dishwasher. He told me that I kinked something up when I took it apart to clean it, then showed me the only two pieces I should ever take off... which are the only 2 pieces I ever take off. Granted, I'd taken more of the drain assembly apart yesterday, seeing if I could clear the drain myself. But until that day, when it already WAS NOT DRAINING, I'd never touched anything but the spray arm and the filter. Sigh. WHATEVER. $$

AND TONIGHT AT 6 PM, I just noticed I felt a little warm. I looked at the thermostat... and it was blank. I did a couple of things, like turning the breakers on and off, and adding batteries to the thermostat... which did make it come on, but when I turned the air on, it showed that it was going but it was not. Breakers again. 

I called our a/c people, and they're coming out tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I went to see if the drain line might be clogged. We've had thermostat issues like that in the past when the drain line was clogged. We clean it monthly, and I'd just done it recently. But I did it again, and I put our shop vac on the clean-out and blew in case there was blockage. It didn't seem like there was.

A couple of hours later, the a/c came back on and that probably means that it was frozen up and needed to defrost. We're keeping the service call because they can pull codes and see what happened. It shouldn't be freezing up; it's been in the mid-80s for the past couple of days, but nothing terrible. We'll see how much it is, but let's just say $$.

DID I SAY "SIGH" YET??

Remembering Sondra and Jude

In 2018, I got off of Facebook for mental health reasons, and it worked! Unfortunately, I have missed some major life events in the lives of people I consider dear friends. I'm going to tell you about two of these people.

Sondra, Jude, and I met (along with others like Jennifer, Jade, Amy, Stacy, Liz, Angela, April, and Aura) on a Yahoo! Groups page dedicated to Rockapella in the late 1990s. I have SO MANY stories I could tell you about the Rockapella days, but we're going to stay on track here, starting with Sondra.

Sondra lived in the midwest and had been in a small orbit of the town she grew up in her whole life. She was several years older than I was (I remember feeling weird when she turned 40 as I was still freshly into my 30s), and had worked at a big box retailer her whole adult life. She lived in an apartment over a convenience store, that also had a view of a major waterway. 

Sondra was a photographer and loved doing portraits and candid shots of friends and family. She would also capture unusual boats coming down the river by her apartment. She had an old cat she loved very much.

Her family had been through a lot, including the death of her mother when she was young, and the loss of a house to a fire before she lived independently. She adored her father, and was close to her sisters and their families. She loved kids so much, though she never had any herself.

At some point during my late 20s, Rockapella was coming through Las Vegas, where I lived at the time. A lot of people I'd only met online were coming into town to see them, but Sondra couldn't because she didn't have the money. I knew that not having money was a recurring theme in her life.

We didn't have a lot of money, but this was pre-kids, so I figured that I could swing the airfare and get her a ticket when I bought mine. I floated the idea, and she thought about it. She'd never been on a plane, much less traveled that far from home and alone.

After talking to her family, who discouraged Sondra from visiting me because I might be a man and regardless would probably kill her and bury her in my back yard (remember, this was before it was normalized to try to meet people you'd only interacted with online), Sondra decided to come out!

We had a great time! I think my ex-husband didn't want to deal with anything remotely related to Rockapella, so he left town for a few days (I had and still have no idea where he went, and honestly couldn't be bothered to think about it at all). I had just found out I was pregnant, and was a little nauseated and sleepy most of the time, but we went to the Fremont Street Experience (when it was new), bummed around on The Strip, spent time with my family (she was enamored with my niece Hannah), and chatted a lot.

I did not kill her nor did I bury her (alive or otherwise) in the back yard.

Several times during the week, she "spoke" online with the aforementioned Jude, another Rockapella fan she'd started to kind of long-distance date. They were super cute, but I also remember one night being just beat and ill and lying on the couch, grateful that she had something besides me to occupy her. But she was having so much fun chatting that she kept yelling to keep me apprised of their back-and-forth.

Sondra and Jude had a lot in common. Although they were only a few years older than I am, they were both old souls. They loved Lucy and other contemporary television series. I guess an acapella vocal band is kind of old-school. But they were both sort of unimpressed with more modern entertainment, and really bonded over nostalgia. 

So... I thought it might be neat to post the one picture I have that Sondra took of her and me at Red Rock Canyon, and I don't have it anymore. Not to go on too bleak of a tangent, but I'm not kidding when I say that my ex-husband hated anything to do with Rockapella. At some point, I think I got rid of anything remotely related to that in order to try to "save" a marriage that was never going to be fixed.

After the concert and meeting so many new faces who would go on to be long-term friends, Sondra flew back home. That trip gave her the confidence to make plans to go see Jude in person. They saved up for a long time. She worked in retail, and he worked at a local grocery store.

Jude lived in Louisiana. I probably got to know him better than I would have otherwise because of our mutual friendship with Sondra. He was a little sillier and more light-hearted than she was, though he'd certainly seen his fair share of adversity. One of his two brothers had died pretty young. Like Sondra, he had grown up and remained working-class. 

I do have pictures of both of them, from a cheesy pre-Photoshop (to me, anyway; apparently PS was already 13 years old at this point) thing I made to hype Sondra up for her trip. I scoured the internet for pictures of them separately and did... well, this monstrosity.

 

Over the years, Sondra visited Jude a few times and he might have gone to see her once. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but they eventually split up and it came out that Jude was gay. When we spoke, he insisted that he'd told Sondra "exactly what I am" from the beginning and either she didn't fully believe him, or thought love could "fix" things.

Jude and I actually got closer after this, because at least one member of Sondra's family had reached out to him and been very accusatory and chastising. She told Jude that he was bad to break Sondra's heart and that he needed to change his ways or he'd end up in hell. 

First, I thought Jude was a stand-up guy and I liked him. Second, I unknowingly dated 2 gay guys in high school, and I could totally empathize with him in a way that I wish I'd had my "gaydar" up and could have empathized with the young men I dated. But it made sense: Sondra was a woman, like me, whose femininity isn't performed over the top. And having a long-distance girlfriend/fiance is very comfortable for a man who cannot, for whatever myriad of reasons, live a fully authentic life.

I knew that Jude had loved Sondra in his way (the same way I think the guys I dated cared about me and had no intention of hurting me). And I knew that he didn't deserve to be attacked or condemned by someone who had maybe only ever met him one time.

As time passed, of course our Yahoo! Group slowed and shut down. Everyone was on Facebook, so that's where we kept up with each other. Less frequently, of course, as we all matured and had busier IRLs. 

One day, Sondra was at work and this guy she'd gone to high school with turned up. He was expressly looking for her (they were both well into their 40s at this point). He told her that he'd had a crush on her and very quickly asked her to marry him.

He was a kind and generous guy who ended up telling her that she could quit the retail job she had hated for three decades to concentrate on her photography. They still lived in her little apartment over the store, and they seemed very happy.

One thing I noticed about Sondra, though, was her predisposition to kind of having a "Debbie Downer" way about her. Maybe she always did, but as I loosened up, I saw it more .There was a time or two she'd comment on something I put on Facebook and be negative about it in a way that got on my nerves. I sniped back a time or two, and we'd go for a while without communicating, but we were still always friendly.

Jude went on with his life and started to come out of the closet a bit, at least online and kind of away from his home circles. I never asked too much, but he seemed like he was happy enough, just that he wished he could find someone for a real relationship instead of someone who was just looking to use for whatever. 

After 2018, I pretty much lost touch with both of them. I do sometimes check in on old friends to see what I can see from their public profiles. In 2023, I sadly put together that Sondra had been in treatment for cancer during the second half of 2022. She had posted something like, "I am hopefully going home tomorrow. I miss my cat! It's going to be hard learning how to live with diabetes and heart disease alone with the cancer, but I'm taking one day at a time."

She never made it home. 

I scrolled through hers and her husband's profiles. It looks like she'd had a great support system, with the volunteer fire department holding a benefit to raise money to help with her medical expenses. I am so sorry that she's gone. She was still in her 50s. I never met nor interacted with her husband, but I hope he continues to be happy and do well.

One of the last times I interacted with Jude, he was telling me that his phone had just died and he didn't have any money for a new one. That's how he was using apps to meet like-minded folks in the area, and it really cut him off from a social window that was hard to come by. 

James had just upgraded his phone (which was rare; we don't usually get a new phone until an old one dies, but he'd done a lot of research on PlusOne and had to make the leap). so I asked Jude if he wanted James's old phone. We sent it to him and made sure he got it up and running. It never occurred to me to tell him to grab my phone number while he was setting it up.

We're going to Louisiana soon, and I thought it might be cool to finally put a face with the name and voice I have for Jude. I figured I could find him on FB and try to send him a message, but I was surprised with how many people have his name. I googled his name and city, and found... his obituary. He just died last year, from complications of diabetes. He was 55.

Aside from the normal sadness that comes with having friends die, I firmly believe that ZIP codes and household incomes growing up have a lot to do with the fact that I'm still alive and my friends are not That part makes me mad. I don't know what to do about that, so I'm just sitting with it for the moment.

I do take comfort in the fact that Jude, too, had a support system. There was a barbecue fundraiser for him a few years ago to help raise money for his medical expenses.

Both of my friends were well-loved.

Both of them had to raise funds for their medical care, though, which is extremely cruel and should offend anyone who believes that life is sacred,. Access to preventative and ongoing care should be a human right. If you don't believe that, then you are one of the reasons my friends are gone from this earth much too soon. They worked hard. They simply could not afford the care that they needed to ward off problems before they started, nor to combat disease once they were ill. 

And so I remember them both with sadness that our system works like this, but with a heart full of beautiful, complicated memories. I'm better for having known both of them.

...

OH! And I just remembered: I don't think my ex-husband knew that Sondra never paid me back for that airline ticket. I lied out my ass about it, because it was one of my little rebellions. So if you are reading this, sir... well, I won't type it in case my mom comes across this post.

Muscle Memory

Oh, yes, the days of having to scrimp and save and build margins where there are no margins... I apparently remember it well.

I might have mentioned how much the Lago Vista Friday food giveaway has helped us this past year. It's truly been invaluable. 

 

Sometimes we go and our number is picked pretty early; that's when we end up with hauls like the ones pictured above. Other times, our number is later and we get a few carrots and some bread... but it's still free food! Also, I anticipate late spring and summer will feature the return of produce in a quantity that isn't there during the winter.

Furthermore, I've gotten back into mystery shopping. I have done a couple of jobs, have a few more scheduled (including one at a portrait studio where Mal has to be the subject... and he's getting the pay for that one! He has his eye on some action figures that he wants), and am picking up random gigs here and there.

Yesterday, for instance, after we dropped Mal off at school, James and I went to have blood drawn for a medical trial. We each got $45 for that!

And tomorrow I'm doing an online marketing focus group for an hour for $150.

It's not James's "career-level" money, but every little bit offsets something on the other end.

Also, we're trying to think of other streams of income we might be able to create.

Whatever, it seems like we might be in this season of unemployment for a hot minute.

Now we just need to see some prices come down. So who wants to work on that?

Austerity Measures

Back in the day, when I lived in Sherman and had much more time than money, I clipped coupons. The local Kroger would double coupons up to $.50 and it would triple coupons up to $.35 (so that was the BEST coupon to have!). I'd shop on Wednesday morning as soon as the store opened, and the specials from the past week's circular AND the new week's circular were still in effect. 

In this manner, I made do with $75 per week for groceries for a family of 3.

Over time, paper coupons weren't worth the newspaper subscription. As we got busier and were able to be a little less fussed with cost, I came to value my time more and started doing eMeals for weekly menu planning, and just bought what was on that list. It helped me save money, having a plan, but it was less of an on-the-fly kind of planning I'd done before, and it was a time-saver.

Once eMeals integrated with shopping apps and I could just pop my list over to Walmart and have it show up on my doorstep within 24 hours (we have In-Home, so we don't have to tip... but it's not as fast as Walmart+ Door Dash delivery). 

Well, it's been MONTHS since James got laid off. Grocery prices do not seem to want to drop at all. Tariffs are about to make things even more expensive! 

So I decided to try a little experiment and -- gasp! -- go to a grocery store. 

This morning, I got up just as the stores were opening, and I arrived at a Randall's by about 6:40. It was good I hadn't knocked down the door, because they were just starting to do daily mark-downs at that time.

I went through the store a couple of times, and ended up with enough stuff both to make all of our meals for the week (with some help from our pantry and some produce James and D got for free last night at the Lago Vista food giveaway), and some "snacky" kinds of things Mal likes (granola bars, yogurt, pudding) for $65ish. 

In Sherman, I'd aim to save 33% on my shopping trips. Today, I saved 48%!

Some of the biggest wins were: berries are all buy one/get one free. Brownie mix is usually $3 and was on sale for $1. I found 1/2 price yogurt cups, plus had digital coupons for them in the app. I got a pound of ground turkey for $2 and 3 pork chops (bone-in) for just under $3. The only thing I bought that wasn't either on sale, expiring and marked down, on clearance, or had a coupon, was 5 pounds of flour, which I needed and which, at $2.79, was one of the most expensive things I purchased.

When I got home, I browned all of the turkey because it was already looking sad. I added some seasoning, then put half of it in the refrigerator. I took the other half, added half a bag of shelled edamame and two diced carrots, and made some "peppery bacon" mac and cheese James had gotten for free at the giveaway months ago.

It was delicious, and enough food for the three grown-ups in the house (Mal is always the wild card; he doesn't like mixed flavors, and so I have to make sure we have fruit, chicken nuggets, and yogurt to keep him happy). 

I also made this lentil "meat" loaf recipe that I'd sent my parents, because another thing James got last night was red bell pepper. We had everything else (except the celery), and I just wanted something around for everyone to eat or make sandwiches out of, so I don't have to cook again until Monday.

Then I prepared one of the two boxes of brownie mixes that I'd bought. I used the "flax seed egg" mixture mentioned in the lentil loaf recipe, because at this point, flax seed is cheaper than eggs. So unless the egg is acting like an egg (scrambled, boiled, crepes, creme anglaise, etc.), it's going to be flax! You do have to make sure that you cook whatever you put it in, as people have gotten botulism from raw flax seed. 

Anyhoo... it's been a throwback, and not a bad way to spend my morning. 

We're not in trouble yet, but there's no harm in reeling things in a little bit. If Mal were as good an eater as D was at his age, this would be a lot easier! I might have to start asking him to take a "yes/no" bite of everything that I make, to see if he can develop a wider taste palate.

A Note About a Thing that Happened Today (and why my house might smell like ozone)

We had our biannual HVAC check today. As the guy was looking at the attic half of our heat pump, he noticed some "organic growth" (mildew) on the unit. He took a very blurry picture, but you'll get the idea:

The solution is to install this UV light system both on this unit and the other half, so they work together. We could do just one or just the other, and neither was cheap. But there was a small price break for doing both. It really seemed like a no-brainer. Not something we actually wanted to do, but, ya know... homeownership!

Anyhoo, James and I were both talking to the tech, and asking questions. Once we got to the end, I looked at James and asked, "What do you think?" 

Folks, my man looked straight at me and said, in front of God and the a/c tech, "You're in charge of the money, so it's up to you."

When I tell you how many years of trauma that undid for me, please understand that I'm not exaggerating or overstating it in any way.

If you have a man who isn't confident enough to hype you up like that, then I am very sorry for you. I've been there.

I hadn't planned to spend hundreds of dollars on a heat pump repair, but even so... pretty good day. Pretty pretty pretty good.

Public Assistance

James does have a severance package, but it's taking a long time to process... apparently because in addition to the normal "review the paperwork and make sure you're not going to sue us" waiting period, since James is 50+, there's additional time to make sure he's not going to sue them for ageism. 

In the meantime (and, honestly, until James gets another job), we're tightening our belts and trying not to buy anything we don't need to buy. We've been really fortunate so far the past month...

First, Leander Independent School District has free lunches for kids. We've only gone twice, but one meal a week is still better than nothing. They also have breakfast, but that's only from 8-9 AM, which is way early for us! Mal actually tried nachos for the first time and found that he loves nacho cheese (not the spicy kind, of course). Granted, it's not Brussels sprouts, but any new food is good, as far as I'm concerned! He did try a carrot the other day when I was making dinner, and decided it's not for him. I was proud that he tried, though! This is much better than turning up his nose at food he thinks he's not going to enjoy.

Second, a woman in Lago Vista (who must be a saint) goes to south Austin every week and picks up a thousand pounds of food to distribute to at-risk households in Lago. She always ends up with a whole lot of food left over, and so she opens it up to the public on Friday afternoons. For the past two weeks, we've been able to get produce, bread, and some pantry items. It's hit or miss what will be available at all, and they hand out numbers then draw so the order is random. But the first week, James got big bags of walnuts and hazelnuts, dried split beans, rice, everything bagels, cheese bread, apples, a cantaloupe, a mango... And yesterday, we got probably $30 worth of bread (we were close to the end and no one had claimed a bunch of it; most of it is in the freezer), butter lettuce, apples, onions, cinnamon raisin bagels, corn on the cob, and some other stuff. Both weeks, I think we've been able to get enough food to feed a single adult for a week, assuming that adult had some pantry items like salt, seasonings, and maybe butter or oil. It's very kind of her, and I know takes up a lot of her time and effort. 

Waiting to get our shot at some gratis groceries!

Third, I've been getting stuff through the app "Too Good to Go," where businesses sell food they'd otherwise discard at the end of the business day. It tends to be about 1/3 of the price of what you'd pay retail, and we've really enjoyed it. We got two bags from Whole Foods prepared food department last weekend that had amazing sandwiches and salads... one of the ciabatta sandwiches was marked $13.99 and we only paid $10 per bag, where the sandwich was about 1/5 of the contents! We got some great bowls from Honest Mary's last week. I got 4 TacoDeli bean, potato, and cheese breakfast tacos from a coffee shop for $3.99; they're $3.50 a piece on the TacoDeli website!

We're not hard up just yet, but it's kind of fun putting my former necessity-based frugality into action!

The Rich Get Richer

One last thing before we get off of the subject of my glandular heave-homent:

This whole thing started because we had insurance (have, until the end of this month). Since we have insurance that fully pays for annual check-ups, I've gotten bloodwork done every year for the past 5 years. There have been some things, like low whole blood, that required some looking into but were determined to be nothing. 

But in January 2023, I had high parathyroid hormone level as well as high calcium. Those two things both being elevated is an automatic diagnosis of hyperparathyroidism, and the only way to treat it is surgery. 

Getting referred to a good surgeon led to the suspicion and diagnosis of Hashimoto's disease, and all of that resulted in my having my thyroid and one parathyroid removed.

What had already happened was that I have experienced some bone loss (would be characterized as "osteopenia" if I were post-menopausal), and that I was frequently eliminating cloudy liquid as my poor little kidneys tried to flush the excess calcium out of my blood.

What could have happened was hypothyroidism, and any of several more advanced autoimmune disorders like Crohn's, Grave's, or lupus. I also could have had permanent nerve damage at my extremities due to wonky calcium levels. I could have fractured my hip. 

But I didn't.

We knew what was going on because I had access to adequate, thorough health care. Through James's work. Which he doesn't have now.

I went most of D's life without insurance and, consequently, we only went to the doctor's office when there was something overtly wrong. But in this case, if I'd waited until possible symptoms of thyroid disease had presented themselves, my body would have definitely been worse for the wear.

So I'm grateful.

I don't know what's going to happen in terms of our insurance after the COBRA stipend runs out. Tech employment is rough right now. But I do know that everyone deserves preventative care (in addition to acute care, obviously). Why is that a controversial ideal?

Holes

A lot of my sock have holes in them. Not tears, but actual holes. Places that have broken apart before, and I've sewed them, and a micrometer to one side or the other, they've burst open again. They're pretty old. I should replace them. But I don't. Why?

The other day, I was getting dressed when I dropped something. I leaned over to pick it up and James said, "Wait a minute... there's something..." and walked over to me to see what was going on with my drawers. I already knew. "It's a hole," I said. "Remember I told you I needed to buy some more?" WHY DON'T I?

This happened a few years ago when all of our towels were unraveled and messy; but they still did the thing, which is drying us off. It was a trial for me to bite the bullet and just get new towel sets.

We are not poverty-stricken. But James and I both grew up in homes where we didn't have much extra beyond what we needed. I hadn't thought about how that might affect my attitudes toward replacing daily-use items until he mentioned it this weekend. I'd asked, "I don't know how rich I'd have to be before I stopped feeling icky about spending money." He said he didn't think either of us would ever feel that way and tied it to our respective youths. He's probably right.

Here is a holeless sock. Is it monogrammed for me??

Edited 1/20/24 to add: Also, James's car's trunk handle is broken so to get into the trunk, we have to pull down the seats inside the car. And my car's driver side door handle is broken, so to get out, I have to roll down the window and open the door from the outside. WHY don't we get these things fixed? Just feels like a lot of work! And expense. And we are working around it, so... *shrug*

Did I Tell You About the Car?

A couple of months ago, we said goodbye to our white Fiat 500L. It had been mal- or non-functioning for months, and in the shop for several weeks prior to that. We decided at the time to see how we'd do with just one car, since James is still able to work from home and D doesn't have a job yet.

So far, it hasn't been too bad.

James has had to carpool with us on Sunday mornings, adding a little complication to his formerly carefree Sunday brunches. He just drops us off at the McDonald's where Mal meets his friend to play every week, then picks us up. Mal's friend went to California for a few weeks last month, so James got to relive his carefree dual car days. 

We've taken a Lyft at least once (Mal hates it; he says he doesn't trust the drivers). D has needed to get somewhere last-minute when James was out buying groceries. Besides that, though, it hasn't been bad.

Plus, when we added D to our insurance, the premium doubled! I thought it might not be as bad since D was 21 instead of 16. However, when we took the second car off, the price halved, so we're back to our "normal" premium.

A few weeks ago, I had the idea to try to get to my parents' house using public transit to get to the Amtrak station. We'd need my folks to get us the last few miles, but it seemed like fun to try.

When I mentioned this plan to others, two different friends offered to drive us to the Austin train station. That was nice, but would the purpose of testing out our local transit.

So Thursday morning we left our house pretty early to be at the local bus stop by 7:05 AM to catch the commuter bus out of our neighborhood.

We got to the Lakeline Park and Ride in plenty of time to catch the 7:50 bus that would deposit us downtown at 5th and Bowie, which is only a few blocks from the train station.

We took a detour into Whole Foods to get train snacks. Mal picked some gorgeous fruit from their prepared food bar, and I got a multi-pack of chocolate bars.

We were at the train station by 8:50, which was 10 minutes before the station itself opens. When we could get in and sit in the air conditioning, Mal ate a bunch of strawberries, we used the restroom, and the bus pulled in at about 9:20.

We boarded and were on the final let of our trip just a little late, but made the time up at the only stop between here and Temple.

Door to door, this trip was almost 4 hours longer than it would have been if we'd just driven. However, we had lots of walking and breaks built in, and I got to really visit with Mal without having to focus on the act of driving.

Plus, the $30ish I spent on train and bus tickets (Mal was free as a companion to my fares) was more than gas one way would have cost me, but a lot less than the insurance and other amortized costs of owning a vehicle for the past two months would have been (several hundred dollars).

We'll eventually have two cars again, most likely. A lot depends on if D goes to the community college (which is easily accessible by the first bus Mal and I took; that bus is actually an express bus to the school), if/where they get a job, and if James ends up with a different job that requires him to commute.

For now, we're skipping along just fine. When it's so cost-effective to do so, we can deal with a little inconvenience, for sure.

PS I asked James about this and he says he vacillates on whether or not it's worth it, mostly on Sunday mornings when his custom is to go alone to brunch. I guess he doesn't love being tied to the fact that we're out and dependent on him. How rude. 

Asking for Help (dental version)

Apparently, April is the month of dental work here at Team Dave's.

D got taken care of last year, but this is THE time for the rest of us.

First, Mal has a couple of teeth coming in fully in his soft palate. He's had "shark teeth" before, but they were always right behind the baby tooth, which eventually fell out. One of these top teeth has been emerging (and is fully in) for months. Mal has been wiggling the baby tooth for probably a year (because it's infected and likely has been ever since he got dental work done when he was 4 and they capped it without getting all of the rot out, thanks so much, jerks) and it's just not budging. When the second tooth started coming in, that was all we needed to take him down to our awesome dentist in south Austin. It's a 45 minute drive but they're SO good with him.

In fact, Mal let them use the electric polisher to clean his teeth for the first time! In two weeks, he's scheduled for full anesthesia so they can pull these two baby teeth (one is so small that I'm afraid his gums are going to grow over it), fix his effed up caps from several years ago (thanks so much, jerks), fill one adult tooth cavity, and two baby teeth cavities. Whew. This boy brushes religiously twice a day, and he flosses at night. He's just going to have "those" teeth, I think.

As a child, D brushed only at night, never flossed, and never had a cavity. After not having ANY dental care for about 10 years, they only had two small cavities and everything else was fine after a good cleaning. Some of us just get easier teeth than others.

Meanwhile, James had mentioned that it felt like one of his fillings was falling out. He hasn't been to a dentist since 1995. So we had an appointment scheduled here in town, but then not only did his filling come out, but his whole tooth crumbled. We were able to find an emergency appointment at a slightly-less-nearby office, where he's been now several times. First, they got the tooth and a second one cleared out and fitted with temporary crowns. Then he had to go back in to have the permanent crowns put on. He went back for a deep cleaning, then the next day for the second half of that.

Although we have dental insurance, a pretty good amount of this is still out-of-pocket. In fact, we have to pay in full for Mal's anesthesia, then we'll submit a bill for reimbursement to our insurance a couple of weeks after the procedure.

This morning, I had an appointment to establish care with the same dentist James went to. It hasn't been as long as James, but I think the last time I went to the dentist, D was about 5 years old. So 16ish years. I can tell my mouth is aging, but I don't have any pain or complaints.

After a bunch of photos and gum evaluation, I need a few things: First, I need the two-appointment deep cleaning, as well. Some plaque has gotten down under my gums and it can result in bone loss (James has some; not sure about me) if you let it stay down there. Like they won't do a regular cleaning until we get all of that out. Also, four of my molars that have fillings (I got them when I was maybe 12 or 13) are cracked, and one of my other molars has a cavity. The dentist said that two of my existing fillings are the priority, as well as the cavity. But the other two, we can do later.

I explained to them that we've exhausted our dental budget for the year. James has literally run out of coverage just in the couple of weeks that he's had to have intense stuff done. Between all of this and our recent notice that our mortgage is going up $265 a month (don't get me started on property taxes in this state), we're just maxed out. I know I need this stuff done, but...

And here's the cool thing about being honest and open: The front office did some things: 1) They said I could make 4 payments instead of doing it all at once. 2) They will start billing in May, even though I'm having the two-part cleaning done this month. 3) They're taking $200 off of one of the fillings.

I know it's all messed up how expensive medical care is, and especially dentistry, which just isn't fully covered by any insurance I've ever had or seen. But they wouldn't have offered solutions if I hadn't asked. Most offices have a sign up that says "Payment in full is expected at time of service."

So that takes a little of the pressure off, which is cool.

In other news, I got a referral to an oral surgeon because of some differently-pigmented areas in my mouth. I get to get those biopsied soon, which will be covered by medical insurance but, bleh. 

Today was weird

First, James's company laid off 15% of their staff. Then James went in for an emergency dentist's visit because one of his fillings was loose and instead of it just coming out, his whole tooth crumbled. He was going to take my car because his needed gas, but he couldn't get it into gear. We've known the transmission was going out for a while and I had planned to take it in this morning, before we had to make a last-minute appointment at the dentist's office.

However, I was able to get the car into gear, so Mal and I dropped it off and walked to a nearby McDonald's to hang out and play until James got done with his three-hour tooth ordeal and picked us up on the way home.

Also, I'd made a late lunch and when we left, I accidentally left the stovetop on. D noticed and turned it off, which is a life-saver. I'd thought to move the beans off of the burner, so they weren't ruined/didn't start a fire.

Furthermore, I have an HEB order on the way right now and decided that since we were across the street form HEB at McD's that I'd just pick it up. I called and learned that delivery isn't always the closest store, where we do curbside.

I don't know. It's just felt weird. James kept his job (for now) and we're grateful. But it's sad to see people go; he's hearing all kinds of stories about people who were just about to put in for maternity leave or have just come back from disability leave or who just closed on a house. I hate it. This economy sucks.

This has been your ray of sunshine for the day. Bleh.

The world doesn't want me to buy things today

Except for our oven (which we're going to simply throw out and not replace as soon as James builds me a cabinet to hold an induction burner), we've replaced every appliance in our kitchen since we bought the house 6 years ago. The garbage disposal was supposed to have been replaced by the seller but wasn't, the fridge and dishwasher died, and the microwave was murdered by a power surge (the day we activated our solar panels, and the company that installed them reimbursed us for a new one, so no harm/no foul).

Sadly, the dishwasher I chose was garbage. I don't know what to tell you. I'm a cheapskate. I spent a very few hundred dollars, not realizing that LG is widely known as a crap dishwasher. We've had issues with it pretty much from the beginning, with the door making a LOUD noise when opening and closing. Also, the fat doesn't get enzymed away, and instead builds up in the nooks and crannies of the drawers, and all over the floor of the dishwasher. When I go to "rinse off" the filter, it makes me want to barf. I have to wear gloves, because holding it leaves such a layer of orange, thick, sticky fat that if I use my bare hands, there's no effective way to wash it off. And it grosses me out that we still put our dishes in there. They come out mostly clean, but the idea of it is sickening. I spend almost as much time trying to clean the dishwasher as I would if I just hand-washed the dishes (which wastes water, so I try not to).

We decided that the time had come to bite the bullet and spend a few extra hundred dollars on a more reputable dishwasher. I had looked at several and finally found a model that seemed to work for us. I called the local distributor and he helped me make sure we were getting the right one (this one has a water softener, so hopefully that will help keep the enzymes active enough to wash that nasty stuff down the drain like it's supposed to do. The sales guy said he'd send me an estimate for the washer and installation, I'd get 3% off if I wrote a check, then they'd call to schedule as soon as they'd gotten a picture of the check from me. Cool.

But he didn't send me an estimate. And, sadly, after about noon, I didn't get a chance to do anything so I guess I'll call him back in the morning and follow up.

The guy who's been mowing our yard since 2018 has been getting busier and busier, harder to nail down. We often go two weeks beyond when we actually need the yard mowed, and I feel like I'm harassing him. So we've been talking about buying another electric lawn mower for a while. The one we had before only lasted about a year and a half before the battery wouldn't fully charge, and I learned that you can't get a replacement because both the lawn mower and the battery itself are no longer manufactured. I knew the lawn mower had been discontinued when I bought it. That's why it was on such a great sale! Again, I DO NOT LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY. But in this case, it bit me in the butt.

So today, I looked at a bunch of reviews and ended up picking out a mower and an extra battery (having to charge 3/4 of the way through the job is a real bummer). What's wild is that the battery alone costs 4/7 the price of the lawn mower! Anyhoo, I ordered it from Lowe's and then realized a couple of hours later that the sale hadn't gone through. They requested a different payment method. I got James's credit card and tried that, but it didn't work, either. Turns out that both Apple Card and the Amazon Visa we have declined the charges, probably because instead of processing it as one sale, they charged the battery and the mower separately, and two several-hundred-dollar charges in a row at a place we rarely spend that kind of money looked sus. We informed our banks that they weren't fraudulent, but I have to wait to call Lowe's tomorrow and have them process the sales.

I do hate spending money, but today I really tried to! The internet just didn't want to let me.

Then this other thing happened that was pretty significantly cooler.

We had a Panda Express coupon that expired today, so of course we had to use it (savings!). D had requested PE this weekend, actually, so it was a perfect time to get a discount. We'd pre-ordered food and I ended up there about 10 minutes before it was supposed to be ready. I ran in to use the restroom, as Mal and I had been running errands for almost an hour at that point, and then Mal mentioned that he was hungry. We'd just picked up groceries, and he wanted to go out to the car to get a Clif Kids Z Bar, then go back inside and wait for the food. He ran like a crazy person through the parking lot, and a man getting out of his car seemed amused by it.

When we got back inside, Mal practically inhaled the granola bar before noticing this cute panda plushie that was for sale at the cash register. He brought it over to show me, and I told him that he couldn't just walk off with it and asked him to put it back. He said, "But I kind of wanted it." I told him that I'd see how much it was when we got our order, but that he needed to put it back until then.

A couple of minutes later, the gentleman we'd seen in the parking lot walked over and asked me if it was okay for him to give Mal a gift. I said sure. He asked Mal's name, then said, "I want to tell you one thing: Never take a present from a stranger if your mom isn't around, okay?" Mal said, "I already knew that!" The guy said, "Good. Here you go." He'd bought Mal the panda! It was so sweet.

On the way home, Mal said, "That guy gave me two things: advice, and a stuffed animal!"

Well, eBay, it's been a nice 23 years, but I'm done...

In early 1999, I signed up for an eBay account. It was fun to have access to almost anything I could think of (kind of before Amazon was doing that), and soon I realized that I had things other people wanted, too. 

During the lean years of my second marriage, I made enough money on eBay to get us through some tight times. I sold things that were dear to me, but desperate times...

I'd found an expensive (to me: $25) copy of the long-out-of-print book "Jellybeans for Breakfast" that I ended up selling a couple of years later because I realized that it would sell for over $200.

I sold a Grover stuffed doll I'd had since childhood... It had been my first experience with savings. I wanted Grover really badly; he was about the size of the actual Muppet, but a doll and not a puppet. He was $5. I had $1. My parents told me that if I saved my allowance, I could get him for myself. I got $.25 a week. So for months, no bike rides down to Wilke's Grocery to see how much candy I could snag for $1. That was a neighborhood staple, so it was rough! I was only 5 years old, as well. Delayed gratification comes HARD at that age. Anyway, sixteen weeks later, I walked out of Walmart with my buddy Grover! But in my early 30s, someone was willing to pay $85 for him, so it was a no-brainer.

I also sold four Little People sets: Sesame Street, schoolhouse, hospital, and house. As my sister and I have had a "second round" of kids, and my niece has a young 'un now, I think maybe my mom regrets giving me those. But it was more than $350 that we desperately needed. 

My ex-mother- and sister-in-law both had/have excellent taste in... everything. And they would often send me clothes for D. These were gorgeous smocked white dresses for Easter, and gingham jumpsuits with ruffles and bows. From the very beginning, these were not D's taste on any level. So what I would do is save one outfit for portraits, and sell the rest on eBay when they were new with tags. Ca-ching!

Yesterday, I happened to look through my selling history, and I'm amazed at how many things I sold for $1-$5. That represents the majority of what I sold! I did some volume, and made sure to pad shipping a bit, so it was apparently worth it for me.

Then, maybe ten years ago, eBay changed their fee structure. You didn't have to pay to list something, but they charged a lot more as a seller's fee. I hadn't sold anything in a few years, then had some things to get rid of, and between increased shipping charges and their increased take of the sale, it just wasn't worth it.

In January, however, I decided to get a compact camera with good zoom (less than my giant Nikon, but more than my tiny Sony) and then sell both of the cameras I had. Especially with the dog, carrying around a camera the size of a DSLR is just not practical. I sold the Nikon for a nice price (I threw in all of the accessories I'd bought for it, so the buyer got a good deal, too). Then I ordered my new camera, and after I got it, I sold my Sony, as well. 

A week after I'd sold the second camera, I got a message asking about why they hadn't received the camera yet. I assumed it was about the Sony, until I looked at the tracking and realized that, although I'd dropped the Nikon off on Saturday, January 14 at a local shipping company, because it was the weekend and Monday was a holiday, it hadn't been picked up by the post office until Tuesday, January 17. And it had not moved since then. It was January 28. So this guy was super patient to wait two weeks after purchase on an item we'd shipped Priority. The other camera, which I'd mailed a week later by dropping off at an actual post office in Cedar Park, had gotten there two days later.

I immediately filed a service request with the Post Office. I hadn't heard anything in 24 hours, but had gotten two automated emails: one from the Post Office at large, and one from the Lago Vista branch. I called Lago Vista and talked to a guy who said the item was sitting in Austin and we were just at their mercy of when to send it out because of staffing issues. I was skeptical, "But for TWO WEEKS? I sent something out of Cedar Park and it got where it was going just fine." He said yes. I asked him for a number I could call to file an insurance claim, because this dude had paid $900 for the camera and I wanted to get him his money back. The employee said that I had to wait 30 days before filing an insurance claim.

I was in constant contact with the buyer, explaining all of this to him. A week passed. I got a notice that he'd filed a complaint with eBay. I told him that I understood why he'd done it, and I answered eBay's questions about the situation. In the meantime, I found out that you don't have to wait 30 days to file an insurance claim for Priority mail; just 15 days. Dang. I filed an insurance claim immediately.

eBay messaged me after a couple of days and said that they'd decided in the buyer's favor and were going to take $900 out of my checking account (even though I'd only received $736... they have to get their mon-ay!) because I hadn't provided proof of delivery. They said:

"To avoid this in the future; I’d like to share with you some detailed information about proof of delivery, so you don't have to worry about a lost item in the future. Please ensure a tracking number with in your handling time. When a buyer doesn't receive an item, sellers are protected if they can provide proof of delivery. Proof of delivery is tracking information from a shipping company that clearly displays:

"1.The delivery status of the item as 'delivered' or 'attempted delivery'

"2. The date of delivery (which shows the seller posted within stated handling time)

"3. The recipient's address, displaying at least the city and state or ZIP code (or the equivalent) of the address listed in the sale

"4. For transactions $750 USD (or local currency equivalent) or more, confirmation of the recipient's signature is required."

I answered: "I sent you the tracking number. I bought postage through eBay. I can't help that it wasn't delivered; I tendered it to the postal service. I'm trying to recoup from them. And if they somehow find it now and it gets to him, I have no way to get my money back. I don't understand how you can say you don't have the tracking info since it's literally in my account, AND I sent you the number along with screen shots. What else am I supposed to do?"

They responded: "I’ve reviewed the case further and found that at the time we stepped in and made a decision on February 11, 2022, their [sic] is no new update from the tracking, last update was January 18, 2022. Checking further today it shows new movement. Since it’s already way past the estimated delivery date and the buyer didn’t have their purchased item yet, we closed the case in their favor and gave them a refund. We highly advise you to keep track of the item and be in continuous communication with your buyer. Once the tracking shows delivered, you have 2options: 1. Send your buyer an invoice through PP for them to repay for the item; or 2. Send your buyer a return label for them to send your item back Most buyers easily agree to these options because they already got their money back."

Excuse me for being cynical. But new movement? What?

I just responded to eBay: "I did everything you suggested. We were in communications the whole time."

I looked and, sure enough, my service request didn't do squat, but once I filed an insurance claim, that seemed to have lit a match under them and they miraculously located the camera. 

My final (I thought) email from eBay said: "At this point, it would be best if you will continue contacting USPS to get an update about your claim and possibly get your item or money back. To avoid the same situation when sending items to your buyers: • Purchase shipping insurance. Shipping insurance is the only way to protect you in the event that an item does not get delivered to a buyer and may be lost in transit. • Use a trusted carrier. Make sure to use a carrier that has great history when it comes to shipping service."

By this point, I knew they weren't going to listen to me. And the $900 had come out of my checking account. But I just said, "Again, I literally did everything you're suggesting."

The buyer got the camera and immediately sent me $900 via PayPal. He managed to avoid sales tax, so good for him. I messaged eBay and asked them to close down my appeal, and I wanted to close my eBay account.

But THEN, I got THIS email from eBay: "Upon checking on ebay's end, we do see that the USPS item number shows item got delivered last February 15, 2022 and the buyer also confirmed that item was received.  In line with this, we are able to reverse the refund made for the buyer. Laura, you were not held at fault. You do not have to do anything else. I will be sending you a confirmation email in the next few minutes. Funds for $900.00 should be released back to your Bank account in the next 24 - 48 hours. I am glad I've fully resolved your concern for today. We value your business." 

NO YOU DO NOT.

I had already closed down my PayPal account, and that's the only way the buyer has to get his money back! This is the worst. So now I DID request my eBay account be deleted, and I'm waiting for the money to hit my account so I can sign up for PayPal for 20 minutes, send this dude his money back, and we can be DONE WITH THE WHOLE THING.

Ridiculous.

I do like my new camera, though!

Building Our Dream (?) House?

I might have mentioned, we almost moved back in May. It didn't work out (the real estate market is cooling off but still pretty cut-throat), and since then, we had the water heater bust a pipe (again), and we had to do a bunch of remediation and repair. Then James decided we needed to move the pigeon/chicken loft/tool shed, because we realized it's probably on the corner of our leach field. This weekend, Luke actually pointed out to us that the leach field has a leak (not at the shed; elsewhere). And Sunday night, we had to call our a/c guys for a recurring problem we have with our a/c drain clogging. 

Note: I started this blog post on October 13. Since then, our heat pump has malfunctioned and fortunately the company we use came out and didn't charge us. But also, we've realized that water is STILL getting into our house in the master bedroom. James pulled out the molded baseboards and drywall, and we pulled back the carpet and pad (again) to dry out the subfloor. We fixed a roof thing, tested it, and it seemed okay. But there was STILL WATER GETTING INTO THE HOUSE. We later realized there was a crack in the masonry, and maybe that was it? While James was fixing that, Laura noticed that our non-functional outdoor shower (only has hot water, so is scalding after a few moments) was kind of moldy around the handle. Got a plumber out to look at it and they closed off the valves, one of which (hot, of course) was dripping... for who knows how long. THEN we got a leak detection company out today, and they actually capped the lines to the shower just to be extra safe, and they could not make any more water come into the floor. For good measure, they caulked around the shower trim we had installed five months ago. I'm still nervous. I'll be un-nervous after a month has passed and we've had a good rain and there is no more water getting into the house.

Moving on...

This kind of thing makes me think we should rent.

We talked about it: selling our house and moving to a rental. The problem is that if you rent from a private owner, they're liable to sell the house out from under you. And if you live in an apartment... well, James's options for a workshop are pretty bleak.

So, we had our back lot surveyed, and spent the past month working through a "program" from an architect James found and really liked. We've sent the program in, and he's going to ponder it for a while and get started on some drawings. We know we want to build with eco-friendly materials like cob or straw bale or earth bags. We know we want the house to be whimsical and modest. We know we don't want to be paying property tax on three lots anymore, too.

James is thinking about re-platting our lots so that we take the part of the second lot our yard is on and make it part of the lot where we're planning to build, mostly to assure that we have lots of trees and no one decides to buy this house on the two lots, move the fence in, clear the second lot, and built another house right up on us.

So, hang on to your butts... we'll see how this goes!