I've mentioned often that I formula-fed my first child. I'd planned to breastfeed, but it wasn't working and they were threatening to put her back in the hospital, and she took to a bottle so fast, then remained awake and alert for like half an hour, the longest she'd stayed awake in the four or five days since she'd been born, and I was so relieved that I just fed her with bottles from there on out. I was called several times by people I'm sure meant well, but I felt an incredible pressure that I wasn't doing things "right," and it made me angry. The people telling me I could still do it the "breast" way hadn't been there in the panicked hours when I thought I might have to take drastic measures just to make sure my kid thrived. Now she was doing well, and I was not going to change anything. I just wanted to get on with our lives with our healthy kid.
So, please believe me that if I'd exercised my rights to decide and wanted to bottle-feed my second from the get-go (and, believe me, there are days...), I'd totally to go a "Formula's F**ing Fine!" feed-in, too!
Here's the stupid/weird part: Women ARE encouraged to breastfeed, to the point of formula shaming. When their baby is small. But somewhere between 6 months to a year, the pendulum swings swiftly to the other side, and you need to get that kid off of your boob! He's going to need therapy! Freak.
To me, celebrating choices is about just that: celebrating that I have the personal liberty to do a thing, and I appreciate that. I don't assume that any of my choices (in respect to parenting, faith, finances, etc.) are superior to anyone else's. So please don't think that. I support you. Unless you're a jerk to your kids. I don't support that.
So, anyway, on to my morning:
It started by my discovery that the cream I'd had turning magically into clotted cream overnight... hadn't. I don't know whether it was because the cream was ultra-pasteurized (it didn't say so on the label), or because my oven runs cool so it wasn't actually 180 degrees and never scalded the cream. Whatever, I'd wasted 12 hours at 180 and an entire quart of cream. Oh well.
Next. Mal got up and we were getting ready to go downtown to hit Voodoo Doughnut before we went to a toy store for The Global Big Latch On as a part of World Breastfeeding Week. When we went the first time, we got there around 8:30 and the place was dead. Today, we got there around 9, and there was only one parking spot in front of the building. Unfortunately, someone was double parked by the car in front of the spot, so I couldn't line up to parallel park. I tried a couple of times, then angrily realized I'd have to take the block and figure something else out. When I pulled around the vehicle, I saw that there were people in the car waiting! Aargh! I know they saw me (and the person before me) try MULTIPLE times to back into the space even with them in the way. They could have pulled up or driven around the block. Rude.
I found a spot a couple of blocks away, got Mal in the stroller, and we headed over. This time, unlike last time, there was a line. We waited about 15 minutes, and were at the front. Ish. There were two parties in front of us, and one at the register. The one at the register was taking forever. They must have ordered 2 dozen and a bunch of coffees. It was another good 10 minutes, and I was starting to panic that we were going to be late, even though I'd originally given us almost an hour for the doughnut stop!
Finally, they opened two more registers, I strapped Mal back into the stroller before I ordered, explained to him that we were going to have to RUN back to the van and eat our doughnuts there, and even then I forgot to get one of the doughnuts I wanted to bring back to share with James. Oh well.
We trotted back to the car, where my awesome little kiddo climbed up into his car seat and waited for me to buckle him in while I stowed the stroller and then handed him as much of a doughnut as I was willing to trust him with.
We drove over to Enlightened Baby (super snooty name, very awesome store) and got there just a bit before ten. We finished our doughnuts and headed in, as we'd received a couple of reminders to be there by 10 o'clock so we could sign in and be counted. As it turns out, they were just getting set up and we could have waited 15-20 minutes. But whatever. Mal loved looking around the store, and we bought their last set of silicone straws. Mal adores drinking out of whatever we're drinking out of, and he's taken to saying, "traw" and trying to pull random items out of the silverware drawer, so now he has a stash.
There were probably 20-30 moms there with babies ranging in age from pretty new (4 weeks?) to a little older-looking than Mal (but he's so big, it's difficult to tell). We all latched on at around 10:30, and they counted us, and... um, I got a free t-shirt, and I bought another one. So. Yeah.
About 30 moms. I was sitting near two or three. It seemed like there were several groups there, like maybe from birth month mom groups or something? The ones who weren't obviously friends/acquaintances of the store owner were talking to each other in smallish packs, and seemed to know each other's kids. I tried talking to a couple of women while we waited, but it just wasn't happening. I really hate that. It's exhausting, but I try sometimes. I just don't know how to connect with other women, I guess. So my commiseration, light-hearted take on something, or explanation of why I had brought doughnuts in (they were in disguise, but I think a kid smelled them) were all met with polite smiles before looking away and connecting with other people. Pppth.
After the sort of anti-climactic count, we headed right out. Mal was in a good mood, so I decided to press my luck and go to the mall for a quick return. We'd bought James a pair of Crocs online, and those are the first shoes I've gotten from them that are just uncomfortable! They also don't fit right. They're weird. I can mail them back, but they forgot to include the return shipping label, so I was going to have to print one out... and decided just to take my 20% off coupon and enjoy tax-free weekend whilst also returning the shoes.
We got to the mall, and I once again got Mal's stroller out so he could ride in style. We walked through Macy's toward the center of the mall, and I see this "coming soon!" boarded-up store where I expect to see a Crocs store. Well... apparently, the Crocs store at the mall CLOSED and I'm at the mall for no reason. On a Saturday. When the parking lot is full because of a farmer's market. Seriously.
So I tell Mal, "Well, let me go to the bathroom, and then we'll get some soda." He's still being an awesome trooper.
As per usual, the family bathroom is either in use or just locked out of spite. Since Mal was born, I have never once used a family bathroom because they are always locked. I don't think they really exist. They are just doors put there to give me false hope.
We go into the women's room, and all of the stalls are taken but one. I get Mal's stroller mostly in there, but because I have a big bag with useless Crocs in it hanging off of the back of the stroller, I can't close the door. Also, there's no hook to hang my purse or this giant bag. So I decide just to wedge him in and do my business with the door open. We're all ladies here, right? Stupid bathrooms.
There's a long line at Chick-fil-A, where I could get a free soda because of my calendar card. Instead, we walk out of the noisy food court and over to Auntie Anne's pretzels. Nothing looks good, food-wise, and so I just order a large Diet Coke with very little ice.
Um, it's disgusting. It tastes watered down. I let Mal drink some because he's very thirsty, and I let the next people in line order, then I tell the lady that the soda tastes like maybe they need to switch out the syrup. She tells some dude, and he tests a little of the Diet Coke himself. He then tests the Dr. Pepper. He then tests the Root Beer. He seems to think everything is fine. "Would you like something else to drink?" he asks. NO.
And he gives me back my money with his apologies.
OKAY, I GUESS WE'LL JUST GO HOME THEN. THANK YOU FOR NOTHING, BARTON SQUARE MALL.
Back out to the car. Have I mentioned that my son was an amazing kid today? I told him as much on the walk back outside. He threatened to drift off to sleep about 2 minutes from home, but it was only 11:30 (as much as it felt like 3 PM!), so I asked, "Mal! Are you going to tell Daddy about that disgusting soda we got?" And Mal said, "Blech!"
Here's where his sensitivities to stimuli come into play: As good as he was when we were out, it overwhelmed him and he was a wreck about every single thing once we got home, until he took his hour long nap which just ended. Hopefully we have a more chill evening!
The best thing about the day: my boy. Hands down.
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