Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Takin' it Slow

The other day, I had run into the grocery store... I can't remember the day, because I actually stopped into several grocery stores several days leading up to Mal's birthday. Anyway, it was one of those stops. I had just popped in for a quick trip. Mal was home with his dad and grandma. After I checked out and was walking back out to the car, I passed a cash register where a person was paying and with them was a kid, about 7 or 8 years old, swinging a backpack around, just waiting.

I don't know what about that strummed such a chord with me, but it suddenly revealed so clearly to me the very biggest reason I homeschool (and I say "I" because "we" homeschool, but James might have different reasons, and this one is true all the way back to the beginning, long before James was on board): Time. 

I've always said that *one* of the reasons we homeschool is because I like time efficiency, as in with one kid at a time, it takes 10 minutes to do something it might take 30 kids 2 hours to do. But that's not the only aspect of time, and not even the most important one, I see now.

One of the most precious memories I have, I promised to myself to keep forever as it was happening. D was about 5 and playing in the front yard of our house in Sherman. It was cool and sunny out, and I was sitting on the driveway for added warmth. I think it was early spring, because there were flowers coming out all over the lawn (weeds). D was running around wearing a Barbie wedding dress costume and chasing bees.

In that moment, time seemed almost to stop. I was hyper-aware of how magical it was. A fleeting thought was, "I wish I had my camera," but immediately after that, I knew I couldn't break the spell by moving inside to get it. So I swore I'd lock it into my vault for all time.

It was one of those things that was so ordinary, but somehow achingly beautiful. And it couldn't have happened if we'd been in a hurry. 

There were plenty of days that we had many things to do, and bounced from one place or activity to another. But, by virtue of the fact that we didn't have an overarching compulsion to be anywhere, those days were the exception to the rule. We whiled away many days doing whatever caught our fancy: Three days building a Christmas gingerbread train here. Full day driving around Dallas doing mystery shops and listening to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in the van there. Walking down the street to the "creek" to play in the water. Spending three hours at "the tire swing park." Sitting in the floor of the library, browsing every craft book for the best one. Meeting friends a Chick-fil-A and playing. Enjoying Chuck E. Cheese all by ourselves when everyone else was in school. Painting. Making balloon animals. Playing with cornstarch and water.

I know homeschooling isn't for everyone. I know everyone can have magical "slow" moments even amid the scheduling and activities of school. But for me, it would be overwhelming. I like to have room to breathe. I like to have giant margins. I am a planner and stress out easily enough as it is. I am grateful that, so far in my parenting life, homeschooling has always been an option. I pray it continues to be.


There are still a lot of boats to watch set out while lying on the dock. I'm up for a few more years of that.

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