A parallel universe where Mal's teeth are drama-free?

This week, I was listening to the This American Life podcast, which was about alternate universes. There's a theory that basically every time any decision is made, or something happens, a parallel universe (or more) is created where other options happened.

On Easter weekend, Mal mentioned the tooth where the cap fell off last year "tickling" when he chewed apples on that side. So, dang it, I had to make an appointment with a dentist to get it checked out.

This happened just as we realized Rudy had lost a tooth, and needed dental surgery. For him, it turned out fine. He had about 8 teeth pulled, he'd already lost 5 or 6, and now he only has maybe 12 left. Fortunately, even toothless cats can eat kibble, so now that he's all healed up, he is back to normal. This whole thing led us to a new vet, which ended up being an absolute blessing in disguise. His normal vet couldn't schedule the surgery until May 13, and I found another one who could do it the following week. Turns out, this new vet is AMAZING.

But I digress...

This is supposed to be about Malcolm's mouth.

We went to a new dentist, and I had mentioned these items of concern: 1) the tooth with the cap that fell off, 2) the tooth with the cap that is tearing up, and 3) a cavity (that's about two years old) on one of his upper molars.

They managed to get a few x-rays, but Mal was crying the whole time. When it came time to look at his teeth, he was still hysterical. The dentist was fine, but came in, looked in his mouth, and printed out a treatment plan that did not include the newish cavity, nor did she mention it. Granted, Mal was freaking out, but it seemed like an important thing to note. She also didn't seem to know he'd had a cap that fully fell off, because she was assuming his tooth was flat because he grinds his teeth, even though that information was definitely in his paperwork and I mentioned it. She said that if Mal wouldn't drink a sedative (and he won't; James and I plan to get him some therapy soon for his phobia of new experiences, sounds, flavors, textures, etc.), we'd need to do anesthesia, like we did the first time.

Unlike the first dentist's office, they did not have in-office anesthesia. (Also unlike the first dentist's office, they might actually do a good job?) So the procedure would be to book an OR at Dell Children's. Mal would have to get a physical from his pediatrician stating that he was okayed for anesthesia. Then he would have to have a Covid test two days before the work. Also, he'd be wheeled back fully awake instead of having us there to help him go under. 

This sounded like a nightmare to me.

So, in another universe, I just took a deep sigh and went along with it, because I don't want my kid's grownup teeth to be damaged.

In THIS universe, however, I decided to get a second opinion. I told the dentist's office that I was going to do that, so wasn't going to schedule the procedure. I'd talked in the past to my sister about her kids' dentist, and I read the reviews.

They include things like, "My child has Down's syndrome, and they're so good about working with him," "My daughter has anxiety about the dentist, but they filled a cavity and she never even felt it." Thing is, I've read these glowing reviews about many dentists, and have never had the kind of magical experience they're describing.

But then, we did.

We checked in from the car ('cause Covid), then the dental assistant, T, met us at the front door to check our temperatures. Mal had to go to the bathroom first thing, then we went back to the examination room. Mal was the same level of panicked as he had been at the first office, but T just chatted with him and let him relax. They talked about the goodies he could pick from when he was done, and about his other dentist's visit. 

She tried to get him to let her clean his teeth with the polisher, and let him feel the tip with his hand. When she turned it on, he recoiled, so she opened up the toothbrush he was bringing home with him and asked him what flavor of toothpaste he wanted.

He assured her that he only likes his own toothpaste, but when he found out that they had watermelon, decided to try it. It was red, unlike his, which is green, and it had grit in it. He definitely didn't like the thought of the grit, but, again, she just took so much time and brought so much joy to it that he eventually let her brush AND FLOSS his teeth. He also had to go to the restroom two more times during the visit (his doctor said this is nothing to worry about and he'll grow out of it).

When the dentist came in, she examined his teeth and he let her do a fluoride treatment! The only time he's ever had that before was when he was under anesthesia!

In the end, here's what she said: 1) The cap-off tooth doesn't have a cavity, and she's not worried about it. 2) The cap-broken tooth also doesn't have a cavity, and except that it looks uncomfortable, she doesn't see a need to remove and replace it. But if he gets calm enough, she might eventually try to smooth it out a little bit (like I've done with a glass nail file... because that's how we roll around here). 3) The hole in his upper molar isn't "dental caries," meaning it's a hole but there's no decay. He has a small cavity between that tooth and the one behind it, but she doesn't think it requires intervention at this point.

She did notice that one of his front teeth, which is loose, seems to be infected under the gum and she wants to make sure it doesn't interfere with the adult tooth, which is in place and ready to emerge. I told her we'd work on wiggling it out over the next month. The first dentist did not notice or mention this at all. And it goes a long way in explaining why that tooth looks so gray; I've always just assumed it was the crappy cap the other dentist put on a couple of years ago. It slipped a bit after about a year, and I guess that gave room for something to get in. Ugh.

Anyway, the experience was AWESOME and we scheduled another appointment for next month to get his new molars sealed. The dentist said, "If we only get one done, that's fine. We like to give them little successes, so they feel good about coming to the dentist's."

Mal was really hyper and vacillated between terrified child and stand-up comedian the whole time we were there. As we were wrapping things up, he told the doctor, "No offense, but I like her [pointing to the hygienist] style better." The assistant gave him a fist bump, and the dentist said, "The honesty..."

I'm very hopeful now, which is something I haven't been ever in the history of Mal's life with dentistry. I'm glad we're in the universe we're in rather than the alternate one where I spend the next six weeks stressed about a hospital procedure. Folks who have kids with chronic health issues have far more emotional stamina than I can imagine.