Childhood terrors

Over the past few months, Mal has developed a bunch of phobias. I'm not qualified to make that diagnosis. And he's probably too young for anyone to make them. But he has a bunch of irrational fears that directly impact his quality of life. I'm pretty sure that's the definition. Maybe especially since he can't express his fears. I want to be really clear about this: he's much better than I about expressing his feelings. But he hits a blank wall here. Something was happening the other day, and it freaked him out. I tried to be the patient parent. My natural tendency is to just tell him that there isn't anything to worry about, and I know that doesn't help. So I asked him "What's the worst thing that you can imagine happening?" He couldn't come up with anything beyond "That sound scares me." I think we agreed that it was a creepy sound, but (in my mind) it wasn't anything that should keep you from living your life. He's watching youtube videos that fill his brain full of things that might go wrong. Diabetes. Strokes. Having your oxygen stolen by sleeping under a tree. I've been spending a lot of quality time lately with a rubber mallet and lumps of clay that I dug out of our back yard. He spent a little time with it, pretending that it was Thor's hammer, and that he couldn't lift it. And then he swung it around and smacked himself in the back, and he totally freaked out about the possibility that he'd given himself a spinal injury. I try to assure him that he pretty much cannot do that. And I feel a little hypocritical, because he also insists on making death-defying leaps that seem like they really could snap his neck, and I really want him to stop those (he mostly has). The other day, a thunderstorm blew through. I have vivid childhood memories of sitting on our front porch and watching that sort of thing with my mom. I tried to convince Mal to come outside with me. Mom tells me that they terrified her and that she was just putting on a brave front so I wouldn't be scared. I love them. Maybe mostly because I'm sure we won't get tornadoes here in my lifetime. But Mal doesn't want anything to do with them. And, really, how much of his terror of everything is due to COVID? There's this thing you can't see that can kill you. Just sort of randomly. Or maybe the people you love. Who knows? Is that more random than the idea that you could get killed by electrocution from wires that should be hidden by holes in the walls? Or maybe by the insulation that might leak down from the ceiling if that drywall gets breached? We put him (and ourselves) into a mask anytime we go into public. Is that teaching him that anyone can just drop dead at anytime? He told me recently that he basically sends out "I love you" as a sonar beacon to make sure everyone he loves around him hasn't just dropped dead. I want to tell him that's a really silly fear. People usually don't just die like that. But my cousin Benny Jr did exactly that. At about my age. Maybe his fears aren't as silly as I'd like to think.