October flew by!

Good morning, Flat Earthers!*

I can't believe that it's already the end of October! Lots has happened this month, much of it the typical stuff that happens every day, week, and month of the year. But let's hit some highlights, shall we?

First, and I'm cheating a little bit because this happened toward the end of September, but we need to remember it: Mal has always had sleeping issues. First, he wouldn't sleep if he wasn't touching my body. This made his infancy exhausting; I couldn't even put him down for a nap for more than about 10 minutes because he'd wake up. I had to wear him, or have him lying on top of me or right beside me. As he got older, he just wouldn't settle at night and sleep in a different room (except that one time Grandma Patsy visited, and he slept in his own room with her!), so he was in bed with James and me. A few weeks after we moved into this house, I decided to get him out of our bedroom and train him to sleep on a futon mattress on the floor of his room... which I did, but I ended up sleeping in there with him, and have ever since. 

For a couple of years, we've had a hard cut-off of 10 years old. I've told him that he needed to figure it out because I was going to return to my bedroom by the time he turned ten. (Because even if he wasn't ready exactly at 10, pretty soon he'd want me out of his room and likely wouldn't feel comfortable telling me why, if you get my meaning.) Anyhoo, a couple of days before his 9th birthday, he told me he thought I could go into my own room when he turned 9! So that's what I did!

One side effect of this is that I sometimes snore a little, and D can hear it through the wall. James used to wake D up, but since he got a CPAP (I don't have apnea, plus I am a tornado when I sleep and not a good candidate) he's pretty quiet. James had gotten into the habit of closing the bathroom door and the closet doors to help insulate against noise pollution going into D's room, but we have a small wall that's still the only barrier between the rooms. So we invested in some acoustic tiles, and I think they're pretty cool-looking!

Next up, we went to trivia night at The Good Lot for the first time as a family. Mal played with other kids while D, James, and I did trivia. We won one of the three rounds, and the prizes included a flight of beer (they had cider, too!) and a cute skeleton shot "glass" (plastic). We'll definitely go back; I might even make it an event for our Tuesday library/park group. (I just did. I'm such an overachiever.)

Since we hadn't been to the state fair since pre-pandemic, we went the next-to-the-last weekend it was open and, for the first time in about ten years, D went with us! It was a lot of walking (we stayed in an adorable 4-plex about a mile from the park, so we walked 4 miles just getting there and back twice the day we went to the fair), a LOT of people, and a lot of money, but what a great weekend!

First, I was trying to show Mal a video of Big Tex because he didn't remember him. We were surprised to see ourselves a decade ago in The Daytripper's recently-released (or re-released?) video!

We had our mandatory stop at the Hillsboro Braum's on the way up. We got to the fair just as it was opening on Friday, and we were able to try the fried sushi bombs before the food court got too busy (and no one got shot, unlike the next evening, where apparently two guys got into a fight in one of the lines and one of them shot three people, all of whom are fortunately okay). 

As per usual, we enjoyed the Go Texan! sample area. My favorite was the flavored olive oils. They had salsa, chocolate, hot sauce, and this year the dairy sample was an ice cream sandwich instead of a small cone. I guess Bessie the Cow doesn't visit anymore, which is probably better for the cow, but I always loved seeing what I'm assuming is the most beautiful calf they could find.

Little Hands on the Farm is done, but the petting zoo is still around. They moved it into a much larger arena, which really helps both with the crowds and the smell.

Mal surprised us by wanting to ride the Texas Skyway, a gondola that runs from the front of the park to the back (and vice-versa). He never wants to ride anything, so James thought if there ever was a time to spend nearly $50 on a 7-minute activity, this was it!

We finished up our fair food purchases for the morning with tornado fries (for Mal, mostly) and a bao taco trio. Man, those were amazing. Definitely the best thing we had that half of the day. The taco "shells" were made of bao dough, steamed as bao buns are, and were each filled with a different meat: pork belly, pulled barbecue beef, and chicken. I could have eaten a whole plate by myself, but we shared because we do have a mortgage to pay off. 

We decided to take a break as the park was filling up around 1 PM. We spent the afternoon at the AirBnB relaxing, and then went back at nightfall.

We hit most (but not all) of the things we'd missed in the morning; most importantly, the craft competition. I always love looking at the things the people of Texas create! Also, butter sculpture. 

Then we tracked down the one food we'd been wanting to try but were too full to find in the morning: a strawberry cheesecake sopapilla. Aww, man. Definitely the best dessert I've ever had at the fair. Worth finding, fighting people in lines around the sopapilla kiosk, and sitting in an area with a bunch of gnats to consume. 

I think the only thing we'd wanted to see that we didn't was the Dia de los Muertos museum, and maybe the carved pumpkins in the greenhouse with the trains (if they even still have those). 

All together, a great day at the fair! I was happy to go back in the evening because whenever we've gone in the past, we've just left midday and gone home or back to a hotel on the other side of town. Definitely a benefit of staying in the vicinity!

D was kind of "peopled out" so stayed "home" to recover the next day. James, Mal, and I got up and took the bus to Cafe Brazil, where James used to have brunch when he lived in Deep Ellum. Delicious, as always, and we got to experience the solar eclipse with a bunch of other diners and staff. I was glad we had our eclipse glasses, as they got passed around throughout the dining room and kitchen. It was so much fun to be excited with everyone else.

We then took the train downtown to poke around a bit before taking the train back to Fair Park and walking "home." 

Believe it or don't, we had dinner that night at Cici's Pizza. It was like a block from our place and Mal wanted to go. Since James hadn't been to one in a while, he was down. 

The next morning, we packed up and hit the Dallas Arboretum before we left town. I'd only ever been during the week, and holy cow was it busy. But it was a beauty, as ever.

On the way home, we stopped at Mal's favorite Hat Creek Burger in Temple for a late lunch and to say "howdy" to Nana and Pappy before ending our weekend away.

This weekend was the first time we've used Rover, a pet-sitting app/website, and we were very pleased! Our sitter sent pictures and updates every day, and was super conscientious and clean. I was surprised that I didn't need to sweep or vacuum up Aish hair when we returned. When they were younger, we'd have just left the cats alone for the 3 days we were gone. Alas, they're all teenagers and need a bit more maintenance.

In other news, Mal took an online assessment and qualified for a the regional semi-finals of a geography bee. We were supposed to have done that last weekend, but they had to reschedule for December at the last minute. 

We're rounding out the month with Halloween, of course. Our little town has done stuff for Halloween ever since we moved here, but the celebration is getting better and better. Last year, a guy from Public Works built a few spooky decorations that were in the main park area. This year, they really let him go wild and used a small path across the way to showcase a half dozen of his creations. It was perfect in that it was pretty macabre, but also not threatening so kids were having fun exploring the "haunted walk."

And, of course, they had games for the kids, who were able to "earn" candy. It's the first year they haven't had a trunk-or-treat, but I think this is good, as they probably never knew whether they were going to have 4 participants or 15.

They also had hot dogs and chips available, which James and I especially appreciated because we both finished outside work (him: building a bed frame, me: mowing the lawn) right as it was time to walk down to the park.

Some more quick Mal things: Yesterday, he burnt himself on our tea kettle, which SUCKS, but it's because he was making himself ramen. It's the first time he's done it start to finish on his own. He swore off of using the kettle but I told him burning yourself is just part of learning to "cook." Next time he's going to use silicone gloves.

This week, he had his first dentist appointment in which he had ZERO cavities! His teeth are just prone to being meh, so I don't claim this as a win in terms of his dental care... but it is definitely a relief!

Finally, Mal played Scrabble with me for the first time Friday night, and although he is still working on figuring out where it's legal to place a word, he did really well in terms of pulling words out of scrambled tiles! After we played, he played once with Nana. When we got home, he played with his dad. Now that he has three practice games under his belt, we'll start keeping score. He told me, "Don't take it easy on me, Mom!" He should know that I would never.

This morning, we have all of the windows open and are just waiting on the cold front that will bring the temperature down from the 70s into the 40s. Normally, if it's going to get cold, I'd just try to keep the warmth in the house to stave off the heater coming on. But, dang, it's been so muggy and gross, I really want to feel the cold in all of its glory. I am wearing bike shorts and a tank top and can't wait until I need to put on pants and a sweatshirt! BRING IT!

 *That's a joke. Clearly, the earth is a cube and the scientists are just trying to trick us because there are other planets that are also cubes very nearby and if we knew this, we could just hop around like Q-Bert without the need for commercial space travel and since no one can make money off of that system, they obscure it from us. Stay high, brothers.

Fall Festivities and Unschooling... Kindergarten? I guess.

Mal has been on his iPad all morning. He's in Minecraft making a copy of our home. He just finished the house part and is working on the back yard. He put up a chicken coop and even spawned some chickens in it. While he's been busy with that, I wrote some funny and untrue things on his MagnaDoodle, which he either read successfully or which I helped him sound out. He doesn't like breaking words down to sound them out. He wants to guess. He guessed "pancakes" as "princess" because he doesn't like to slow down. So we're working on that. It's a process.

Yesterday was pretty warm and humid but today is cooling off. The 70 degrees to which I woke up was the day's high. I have the windows open but won't for long. Once the temperature in the house drops to 70, I'll close up for a while.

We actually ate at a restaurant yesterday; outside, of course. We went to Lucy's and Mal played on the playground with some kids while we enjoyed our first meal out, on-site, since Memorial Day weekend. Oh, I guess we did eat at the food truck court in Marble Falls earlier this month. Anyway, it was nice. We were way off in a corner alone, too, so it felt pretty safe.

For us. A guy who was eating with a few families had some kind of medical episode. I don't know what it was, but he was having trouble staying upright. Several people finally called 911 before his friend managed to get him into a truck and on his way to the hospital. It looked how I feel when I can't get blood to my head and have to sit or lie down for a while, but then it started to look almost like a seizure. Scary stuff. Hope he's okay.

Friday night, our city hosted a drive-in viewing of Casper the Friendly Ghost. I'd never seen it; I guess I was too old to be the target audience when it came out in 1995. It was cute. However, I missed a bit of it. One of the kind of neat things was that the movie would be played on the radio, and we'd taken our little CD player/radio (after I'd procured 6 C batteries for the occasion) so we wouldn't have to run down our car's batteries. Both of the vehicles on either side of us just left their engines running. FOR THE WHOLE MOVIE. Heh. Sorry about that, Earth. Good gravy.

Anyhow, the blow-up screen also had a sound system that was entirely adequate. It was so adequate that Mal eventually had us close the hatchback to filter the sound. I took that as my cue to come up to the house to get his headphones. I walked as fast as I could and then biked back down the hill (conclusion: the bike we bought D last year is garbage and probably unsafe for taller people or those with big feet, due to the position of the pedals), and after that, we all enjoyed the movie and the experience thoroughly.

Oh, there were snacks. Always a crowd-pleaser.

I'm sure I have more to write, but I'm hungry so it's lunchtime. Today is totchos: tater tots, vegetarian chili, quest, tomatoes, sour cream, and green onions. Can't wait!

Halloween and Costuming

We made a pretty funny observation yesterday about Radical Unschooling: When your kid can eat whatever they want, they might be less interested in Halloween goings-on unless they really like dressing up or are motivated by carnival games.

We went to our city's Halloween festival Saturday night.

Then Mal got to trick-or-treat Sunday after church.

Wednesday, we went to the library's Halloween storytime.

And yesterday (actually Halloween), Mal got a free doughnut at Krispy Kreme for wearing his Boba Fett "costume," which is actually a jacket.

Just as we were finishing that, it was time for a Halloween event at James's work... but Mal was done. He'd had enough and was ready to go home. Candy didn't entice him in the least, probably because he gets to eat candy in general. I think James was a little disappointed, but he took it very well.

Another thing we did yesterday was have James's tires replaced. This is a long, drawn-out story with which I will not bore you, but yesterday was attempt 2 to get tires installed and it worked and I'm very glad that's done and over with.

But also, while we were out yesterday, Mal got misgendered three times. The first time was by a Walmart employee who saw Mal get hurt and was telling me that "she hit the ground with her nose." The second time was by a mom whose son was a little younger than Mal, but whose hair was LONGER than Mal's. The third time was by a very kind Navy Veteran who let us go in front of him after we'd both waited a ridiculously long time to pick up our vehicles when their service was completed. He said something about "you ladies" and Mal said, "I'm not a lady! I'm a boy!" He said, "You're not a boy. I know a boy when I see one. I raised boys." I really hated to break the news to him.

Here's the thing: I realize that all we'd have to do is to chop Mal's hair off, and this probably wouldn't be the daily deal it is now. But why should Mal have to change his appearance for people to accept that he's a boy? WHY is long hair seen as an inherently feminine trait? I understand the concept of "norms" in terms of being average, but I feel like people need to get better at addressing strangers in a gender-neutral way.

I haven't been misgendered, that I know of, but one time I was asked if I was the mother of my slightly-older husband, who was checking into the ER with food poison. It made me feel like absolute garbage. Like, was I so worn-out and raggedy that I didn't appear to be a woman in her VERY YOUNG 20s?? Did I look like I could have a child in their mid-to-late 20s?! So I can only imagine being mistaken (sometimes over and over again) for a different gender.

Mal is young, and only finds it irritating. Fortunately, he has not reached a point where he feels that being assumed to be a girl means he isn't performing masculinity "wrong" and therefore feels shame and anger. I'm GLAD he doesn't see being addressed as a girl insulting, because there's nothing wrong with being a girl, and I never want him to think that's some kind of slight.

But other boys do. When we were at the park last week, waiting for a friend to show up, a boy told Mal that he couldn't play with them because it was only boys. Mal told him he was a boy, and the boy had him perform a feat of strength to prove it. YES, this is INCREDIBLY problematic, and we talked about how you can't tell whether someone is a boy or a girl based on how strong they are. Regardless, that boy seemed to think Mal passed muster. A different kid said, "No, we don't want a girl-boy." Again, Mal sees this as an irritant, not an insult. But I was mad.

Then yesterday, someone shared this video. I believe that people should be able to wear whatever hairstyle they want, and wear whatever clothes they want. I don't think anything should be gendered. Pants are pants. Skirts are skirts. Short hair is for people who want short hair. Long hair is for people who want long hair. Make-up is for people who want to enhance or hide or dress up. Heels are for dummies. Heh, just kidding. They're not for me, but to each their own.




As for me, I'm trying to refer to strangers neutrally until they spell out a gender. I never want anyone to feel insecure about their presentation based on my ignorance and assumption. I'd love it if you'd try it with me.