The Gender Issue

It seems like 2/3 of the women I know are pregnant, and of course one of the things that is super exciting to all of us is whether we're having a girl or a boy.

The funny part is, we can all have an opinion or a preference, but once we find out, we're all equally in love. Thank God the US doesn't have official policies that make this a matter of life and death (literally). But, even so, there are still norms and expectations that can put pressure on either of the sexes to do or be certain things.

Our nursery is gender-neutral. Thing is, Daphne's was, too, and I knew she was a girl. It was all space and astronauts and fun stuff.

There are several things I've come across recently that have really struck me. Before I link to them, I'll say this: Yes, I get that girls and boys are different. But one isn't better or worse, and there are definitely some things we as a society enforce that are illogical and unjust.

Here are a couple of videos:



I put that one first because it might have made you tear up, whereas this next one might make some of you say, "Yeah, but..." But stay in the spirit of the first video, okay? Stay with me here.



When I was in high school, one of my best girlfriends did not wear make-up. Like ever. Well, except in her senior picture, which didn't look like her *at all*. But I think it was expected that she should do that since she was a girl. And it was very jarring, because that wasn't her.

So, basically, if you ask, "What do you want to have?" the answer is that I want to have a kid who is comfortable in his or her own skin, who knows who he or she is, and who is given the freedom to explore and become whomever God made them. Even if I don't always understand it. Even if he faces difficulty because he is obsessed with baking and cake decorating (then again, this might just be wishful thinking on my part). Even if she is more comfortable writing fantasy worlds than hanging out giggling with a bunch of other pre-teens. Maybe he'll turn out to be the most awesome stay-home dad ever. Maybe she'll never marry and will live a quiet life raising animals in the country by herself.

As long as my kids are well and good, I'm not going to mar it by arbitrary expectations. I look forward to seeing how both of them turn out.