The Gatannah Files: Parenting Off-Center and Our Day

James works with at least two other people who have kids Mal's age. One of the children is already in a preschool. The other's parent was asking James last week, "Are you guys looking for a STEM academy for your son?" James just told him no. When the same person asked if my background was in teaching, James answered similarly.

When you don't approach parenting the same way others do, it can be noticeable, but not always shocking. When you approach education as abnormally as we do, though... it's kind of a big deal.

I remember meeting with some women from an online "moms over 40" group that I was hoping would help me connect with moms in my same life circumstance. I quickly realized that I was mistaken. Most of them had waited to have kids because of careers, and were extremely interested in getting their 2-year-olds into "academically challenging" schools.

This weekend, I overheard a conversation between a mom with a spirited (even more so than Mal) child and an expectant mom. The future mom asked kid mom if sugar made her child more hyper. Kid mom said they hadn't noticed much of a difference, but still limited the child's sugar intake. Mom admitted that they did allow the child to pick out a sweet treat if kid had a good day at school.

You can read all sorts of scientific articles online that explain that the connection between sugar and hyperactivity is mythical. Also, there are studies that show that incentivizing anything (behavior, "healthy" food, etc.) actually makes the desired outcome LESS desirable to the person being rewarded. And that the incentive becomes the focus, rather than the other thing.

And literally no one asked me, so I just kept it to myself.

The mom ended by saying, "He's too young just to sit around eating candy, anyway." And I pictured my kid, same age, sitting around eating candy. Which he does.

I am very fortunate. I have a couple of "mom friends" whose kids play with Mal on occasion, and they're super laid back, too.

In totally other news, mostly, except that I let a 3-year-old dictate our final destination today, this morning Mal really wanted to go to the Thinkery. It doesn't open until noon on Monday, but he was ready to go at 9:30, and James had some "feedback" from co-workers last week when he was on a conference call and Mal was loudly upset.

Last time we tried to go to the aquarium, it was not a success (read about that here). They gave us a rain check in the form of replacement tickets, so we went there first. Mal did not want to go. I have learned how to slowly help him try things and though he definitely preferred the gift shop to the main aquarium, we did get to see everything and there were zero groups there.

Mal was watching a bird say "hello" over and over again for treats.

Then we were on our way to the Thinkery. Via an early lunch.

This is the longest Mal has played at Thinkery, and the most fun he's had. So many things held him in thrall, but the one he kept returning to was the ball room. Here are a few happy shots. Also, he doesn't pose, so these are genuine moments.