Saturday in the Park, think it was September the 5th

Yesterday was the grand opening for a neighborhood park in Leander. Because of COVID, they were taking reservations for two-hour spots, and since they had a splash pad, I hopped on that puppy.

An aside -- Having to preplan to use the greenbelt or water features has been a major pain in the rear for a lot of people, but for myself, who rarely just thinks, "Let's get in the car and go hike!" out of the blue, this has been absolutely one of the best things about enforcing physical distance between people. I loved it at Jellystone when the pool was at 1/4 capacity, and it turned out GREAT for us yesterday at Lakewood Park.

So much room, so few people.

It's a neat park, too. Will likely be packed with folks when we return to "normal," so I appreciate our getting to explore it with a dozen or so families instead of the whole town. They had vendors, too, and we made sure to buy a drink from one because I'm sure they would have had a better time with it packed out.

The limiting admittance thing has been my absolute biggest plus of the past few months. I do not say this to be callous; I realize people are struggling and that there is illness and loss. It's seriously the luck of privilege (our circumstances, location, etc.) that has minimized the true suffering in this pandemic. I do not take that for granted.

But a lot of people have been quite vocal in advocating that we return to full open to all green common spaces (and when I say "we," I really mean Austin) since tax dollars pay for it (and the same could be said about our local park, which is closed on holiday weekends to minimize excessive wear-and-tear as well as outsized burdens on our small local EMS and police force). However, we're seeing that just hordes of people "enjoying" nature also harms it. There is garbage, foliage trampled, and dog feces in and around the trails and in the water. Noise pollution doesn't irreparably damage those spaces, but for the people who are there when a couple of other folks have music playing on their phone speakers, it definitely blunts the quiet communion with nature.

So if, going forward, they decided to open half of the spots up for reservations and the other half walk-up, but then close entry until other people had left, I would not complain. 

One more kind of cool thing from the weekend:

Friday, the live-action film of Mulan was released on Disney+. We certainly would have gone to the theater if that had been an option, so we went ahead and paid for premier access. It was great (except that the trope of scarring the bad guy is lazy and needs to go away; there were plenty of warriors in the film, and somehow only the villain has facial scars? Do better.). Really a beautiful film that I look forward to watching again soon.

After that, we went to Moonie's to get burgers, and then took them to Veteran's Memorial Park for a picnic. The sun was going down, it was a relatively cool day, and because we've just been home for so long, it felt like a really big deal. 

Adventures With Tentacles

The other night, my day job sponsored an "end of fiscal year" celebration at Dave and Buster's.

I was one of the few who invited my wife. I'm pretty sure I was the only one who dragged along a small child.

It was fun. And Laura got lucky enough a couple of times that we were able to pick up enough points to walk away with some good swag (including a couple of spiffy novelty glasses).

We also got a little glow-in-the-dark rubber tentacle finger puppet thing. Every time Mal breaks it out, I act completely grossed out and terrified of it. He assures me that it's nice, and it's okay again until the next time.

This evening, I woke up from my knee-heating nap to hear her on the phone, engaged in some sort of serious conversation, and Mal demanding that she count for him.

So I shouted out that I'd do the counting and dived in to try to give her a breather.

We spent a while playing "scare and seek." Which is basically hide and seek, except that suppose the hider is supposed to leap out and scare whoever's "it." Something along those lines.

I'm not very good at it. I just hid until Mal tracked down Laura to ask for help finding me. The first time, she might have helped a little. Or maybe just encouraged him enough to convince him to put some effort into looking). The second...he wound up sitting outside with her for long enough that I just gave up on it and move to the recliner in the living room and broke out my phone to check the news.

He decided he was ready to move on to running races. Which basically amounts to lining up in a single file (we take turns in the poll position) and chasing each other in circles around the house. Eventually, we wind up in his room, with Mal proclaiming the he won.

I spent about 45 minutes doing this Friday or Saturday night, while Laura got some alone time. It was long enough that my ankles are still sore, but it was great exercise that the rest of my body desperately needs.

Tonight, I'm sore enough that I couldn't.

So Mal decided to just join me in the recliner.

He played a "game" that starts with cleaning Pepa Pig's teeth using a variety of dentist implements. He's already fixed hers, so he's unlocked Rebecca Rabbit's, which are much nastier. He always gives up as he's getting close to the end of hers, so he hasn't unlocked Emily Elephant yet.

Today, I messed with his ear with that tentacle thing from D&B while he told me that he couldn't and needed help.

I finally told him that he totally could, but didn't have to. It's a game, so he should stop playing if it isn't fun. He jumped right over to "What's a tentacle?"

I tried to explain it, then came up with the brilliant idea of showing him videos. So I googled for "tentacle."

For the sake of your sanity and whatever innocence you may have left, never make that mistake. Luckily for the sake of my illiterate child, the results didn't come back with pictures.


Searching for "octopus tentacle" returned results that were safe enough that I felt comfortable switching over to focus on videos.

We watched a couple of those. I don't think he was impressed enough by the ability to squeeze your entire body through a hole the size of your beak.

Fun fact: the real plural for octopus is "octopuses." A bunch of academic snobs managed to foist "octopi" on us a couple of hundred (or so) years ago. But that's Latin. Since the roots are Greek, the "proper" plural would be octopodes.

I don't think Mal appreciated the subtleties of these distinctions.

He got bored with the octopus video (it was too long, and the predation didn't have enough cheesy dialog), so we moved on to one about the skin of squids. I thought it looked fascinating, but he wasn't interested.

So we watched one about jellyfish for a bit. He proclaimed that they're "bad." I tried to explain that we should stay far away, but they aren't really "bad." That's another distinction that's lost on him. I probably should have just agreed, but I don't want to be one of those parents who tells their kids something's bad just because it can hurt you a bit.

Somehow, that led to a video about "the glass couldn't contain it."

It was a long video, but it was Mal's speed. Because it was basically a sequence of 3 second clips of predators in zoos trying to what they do. Except for the glass.

I think the scariest one was a polar bear in a swimming pool. There was a kid about Mal's age crouched down just below the water line. The kid stood up, popping his head above water, and the bear struck. You could see its jaws clamping down.

Mal thought the entire thing was hysterically funny.

He got bored when the pace slowed down and they switched to discussions about this time a bear (grizzly? it looks to big to be anything else) managed to splinter the glass, but it looks like it didn't actually break through. One of the witnesses commented about how the bear was a clown that had been playing with the rock for a long time.

He made me go back to the beginning so we could watch the first 12 minutes (or so) again.

The second time through, he allowed us to keep going. They showed a segment of a gorilla charging the glass and managing to make it spider web. They showed that segment over and over.

I'm not sure where they were going (the volume was way down). We moved on to playing Mal's "I don't know" game.

Laura wrapped up her conversation by describing that, then rejoined us before I could show him what that gorilla had really done to that plate glass. I think her conversation up to that point revolved around dysfunctional relationships and the difficulty of finding a good man.

I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with the tentacle videos.

Honest, sweetheart. That's why that's why such an awful thing is in my search history.

Fun with the City of Austin Utilities

When we came back from the Weekend of Weird Al, it was to find a letter in our mailbox from the water company. Rather than going into the whole back story, I'll first post a letter that I wrote them pretty immediately:

Patricia Muriada

Austin Water Utility

Customer Service Division

P.O. Box 1088

Austin, TX 78767

RE: Account No. ************* incorrect meter registering

Dear Ms. Muriada:

This weekend, I received your letter dated September 24, 2013 and postmarked October 18, 2013, informing me that my water meter had not been registering my water use from February 7, 2013 through July 31, 2013; that a new meter had been installed on July 31, 2013; and that I was being back-billed for six months' usage, estimations based on what the letter called “subsequent consumption.” I was informed that I owed the city $246.42, that I could set up a payment plan, and that I only had until December 24, 2013 to file an appeal or question the calculations.

My first issue is that more than three weeks of my limited response time were used by the delay in mailing. I called and left phone messages twice today and did not hear back from you. As of today, my account is showing that I have a balance past due, and I object to that, as I pay my utility bills upon receipt. Marking a bill I only received yesterday as “past due” reflects negatively and places all of my utilities in jeopardy.

Thus, my first request is that you remove the past-due charges from my account while this matter is investigated. I intend to pay in full the utility bill I will receive early next week, but am contesting this and do not want any funds applied to the alleged balance.

My second issue is that I am unable to find in writing the regulations of the water department. Thus, I would like a copy of the procedure for your billing and collecting on erroneous meter readings, specifically the time limits for which you can back-bill, and the method by which you calculate supposed usage.

Ideally, you would recognize a failure by your own equipment, install new equipment, and start charging me for my usage from that point on. The malfunctioning of your meter did indeed cause an “inconvenience” to me, as I pay my bills on time and in full, have zero debt, and am now having to deal with an unexpected charge that should have been avoided. I find it difficult to believe that there is not some way to electronically flag an account that has a zero-use reading so that account will be reviewed. On my part, I read my bill each month assuming we had not used enough water to break the minimum payment threshold and paid what your department said I owed in good faith. I would appreciate your considering reversing all back charges entirely.

Finally, if you will not eliminate the charges in total, I insist that you recalculate my use prior to the meter's installation. Your assumption of 4400 gallons per month (which I understand from friends in the industry to be “average”) is not at all in line with the “subsequent use” shown since the meter has been installed.

As of this date, I have only received one full month's billing, and that was for 2500 gallons. For the partial month listed on your Adjustment Calculations, my “original usage” (from July 31 through August 22) was 1900 gallons. In order to make your 4400 gallons a month “fit,” you had to adjust 2500 gallons... FOR NINE DAYS! That we would actually use 1900 gallons in THREE WEEKS but you could adjust for 2500 additional gallons in a period of just over ONE WEEK is ridiculous. According to your brand new meter, we only used 2500 gallons during the ENTIRE MONTH of August 22 through September 21. There is no way we used 2500 gallons of water in NINE DAYS.

The water service started on February 7, 2013. A single man moved into this house on February 8, 2013. Prior to his renting this house, it had been totally remodeled and outfitted with energy- and water-efficient appliances and plumbing fixtures. The front-loader washing machine only uses 11-14 gallons of water per load as opposed to “traditional” washers, which use 40. The obnoxiously low-flow toilet uses 1.6 gallons of water per flush. We do not have a pool or lawn sprinkler system. Our yard is mostly mulch, and the few square feet of grass at the front are never watered.

For two months, a single man lived in this house, therefore you cannot assume usage based on the “average” household of 4 people. My daughter and I moved in in April, having lived in an RV for two years. We were accustomed to showering with only 7 gallons of hot water, and therefore do not take long showers. We still have all of the low-usage appliances. It is likely that our water usage will continue to average 80-90 gallons per day rather than the 146 gallons your random assignment assumes.

You must recalculate my use. If you want to use 2500 gallons, we can see to what that works out and figure a plan from there. If you would prefer to allow two more billing cycles to complete between now and December 24, and then take an average of those, I would be willing to cooperate with that, also.

During the mean time, please take the “late” charges off of my account so that I can pay my regular and correct monthly bill.

I expect to hear from you by October 31 or I will file a complaint with the appropriate regulatory agency. If I need to request a hearing, then please include the information regarding how to do that when we next communicate.

Thank you,

Laura Gatannah

To illustrate, the last two months are actual use, and the other six months are their estimated use.

Because there was a deadline and because there is money and time involved, I have logged my actions. Here they are, in chronological order, not edited for grammar or attitude.

1. Letter dated 9/24. Postmarked 10/18.
2. Called and left a message for Patricia Muraida on 10/21/13 @ 12:01 AM
3. Called and left a message for Patricia Muraida on 10/21/13 @ 10:42 AM
4. Web search for who regulates the water utilities; according to the Public Utility Commission of Texas ( http://www.opuc.texas.gov ):
   Water Utility Complaints
   If you have complaints or inquiries concerning water quality, rates, service or billing, you can contact your water supplier directly or contact the Water Supply Division at the TCEQ at 512-239-3504 or 1-888-777-3186.
   You may also e-mail complaints to the TCEQ at: cmplaint@tceq.state.tx.us
   Website: http://www.tceq.state.tx.us
   You may write to the TCEQ
   TCEQ
   P.O. Box 13087
   Austin, TX 78711-3087
5. Called that number @ 12:27 PM and was told that I needed to call 512-239-6100.
6. Called that number @ 12:28 PM and got a “subscriber no longer in service” message.
7. Called TCEQ back @ 12:29 PM and the woman wanted to know how where I got their number. She apologized and said that an Austin issue shouldn't have come to her, and that she was going to transfer me to someone who might be able to help me. Then she hung up on me.
8. E-mailed a letter to myaccount@coautilities.com 10/22/13 @ 12:38 AM.
9. Received a phone call from 512-444-8888, Patricia, 10/22/13 9:18 AM that she was home sick today and the computers were down at the water department, but that she was going to start the administrative process and let me know the next step when she had that information.
10. Patricia called on 10/24 and said that she'd wait until this billing cycle completed to see about reevaluating.
11. Bill posted on 10/28. Last month, we used 2500 gallons of water.
12. Called and left a message for Patricia at 8:30 AM 10/30/13, at 512-972-0017.
13. Called and left another message for Patricia at 2:10 PM.
14. Called 888-777-3186 and she gave me the same number as before (512-239-6100) which is out of service. She transferred me. Mailbox 8101. Left a message.
15. That person called me back and said they have no jurisdiction over the Austin utilities.
16. Patricia called me and said she was working on a special project through Friday but would review my information next week. 2:28 PM.
17. Called Patricia and left her a message. 8:16 AM 11/8/13
18. Called 512-494-9400 @ 2:12 PM 11/8/13. OMG. Phone tree. Got someone who transferred me to water, and when I picked the correct number, it sent me back to the original place. Have to choose “0.” Want to speak to someone in retail. Three cycles of switchboard answering. At 2:28 I finally got a voice mailbox... which was Patricia's.
19. 512-972-0000 @ 2:31 PM. Consumer Service.
20. Patricia called back and said she'd forwarded it and that it should be changed in my account soon.
21. Got a Tweet from the Water Department based on a picture I Tweeted this morning.
22. Called and left a message for Patricia because my account is still the same, and I have a notice that the bill is due tomorrow. 10:27 AM 11/13/13
23. Called and left a message for Patricia. The August bill is still too high. 2:28 PM 11/19/13
24. Patricia called and said it had been handled, but it hadn't. I explained AGAIN to her that August was too high, and she said she'd send it back to customer service. 11:16 AM 11/20/13
25. Called Patricia back and asked about the status of this because it's still showing the same amount. 2:00 PM 12/9/13

This is where we stand now. It almost looks like they're flipping me off, doesn't it?

Whereas they originally said that we owed them $246.42, now we're down to $119. But it's still 1700 gallons "off" (maybe more; we'll never know), and I can't pay them until it's right because I don't bet they're going to give me my money back when they realize their error. 

At least we had it better than these people, though!