Comparisons

Without planning it, I managed to skip the entire decade of my 30s in the area of pregnancy and childbearing. I had Daphne just after I'd turned 29, and here I am comfortably planted into my early 40s (turned 42 two weeks ago) on the cusp of, as James started to say the other day, "about to pop my baby out..."

There have been some similarities and some differences between these two pregnancies. I don't know that I'd call either one "more" difficult. Just different. So I'm going to compare notes with the pregnancy diary I kept when I was expecting Daphne and my experiences this time and compare and contrast them below, in no particular order:

Differences

A. Weight loss and nausea. With Daphne, I lost a whole lot of weight at the beginning of the pregnancy. I was on the verge of illness the entire first trimester. This time, I was "mehh" about some things, and couldn't stomach imagining what I "wanted" to make for dinner, but once I'd prepared food and put it on a plate in front of me, I could eat it.

B. Thought in preparation. I was flummoxed by three questions asked of me at my very first examination when I was expecting Daphne: 1) Do you want a natural childbirth? 2) Do you plan to breastfeed? 3) If it is a boy, will you circumcise? Because of my experiences with the first, these questions had solid answers long before I knew I'd ever have another baby.

C. Stocking up. I'm a bargain shopper; it's just who I am. But with Daphne, our money was SO tight, I always bought the absolute cheapest thing I could find that would work and that I didn't hate. This time around, we've had enough money that I've been able to pick out things I actually want, and then find the best deal on that specific thing. I have avoided buying some things I really did want (like the Hushamok ) because I never felt like they were discounted enough, but our nursery runneth over at this point, and I'm really happy with everything. (P.S. Our nursery is like 95 square feet, so there's not actually too much in there.)

D. Nails. I managed to grow my nails out with Daphne. Not this time.

E. Jobs. I was a property manager then IT something-or-other with a firm in Las Vegas in 2001. I had a mostly-typical 8-5 office job, though I did have to get out and do some inspections. This time, I was working from home as an insurance agent/customer service representative until the end of June, and being able to nap on demand made a HUGE difference in my quality of life.

F. Prenatal care. I could write a whole blog post on this one. In 2001, I was on a fairly typical OB/GYN track. I'd make appointments, sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes (noting that I'd had time to read several magazine articles, write thank you notes, etc.), see the doctor for a good 5-6 minutes, and be done. Or else the doctor would cancel and reschedule my appointments because he'd been out delivering babies. This happened at least a four times in the 5 months I was his patient. This time, I'm under the care of midwives, and have had to wait 5-15 minutes exactly three times: once when the midwife was stuck in traffic (it's Austin), once when another midwife unlocked the doorknob but not the deadbolt, and then last week when someone showed up for a "surprise" first prenatal visit. That time, I got to hang out with the intern/doula, and I loved it because after my vitals and updating the file, we talked about stuff that had nothing to do with my pregnancy, which was nice. I have one hour scheduled for each appointment, and they've all lasted about half an hour to 45 minutes, all face-time with my provider. Additionally, while the doctor told me what to do, the midwives tell me what's available and let me make decisions. I declined genetic testing based on the fact that it would not affect our outcome (read: I wouldn't abort the baby regardless), and a medical doctor would not have "allowed" me to refuse this test, as it help them assign a more specific risk level to my pregnancy (which is already considered "high" in the medical community because of my age). Also, I have not had a vaginal examination yet. I'm at what is on paper 41 weeks, 3 days, and no one is worried about it. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday, just to make sure baby and placenta are doing okay. If they are, we might even move my due date. There is no rush. This is not an illness. It's nice to be treated as though I'm a normal pregnant lady instead of a high-stakes sick person.

G. Stretch marks. Got the during the last few weeks with Daphne. So far this time, none! But who knows. I could still be two weeks out.

H. Swelling. By the end of my pregnancy with Daphne, my feet would spill out of my shoes at the end of the day. This actually started happening super early this pregnancy, like less than half way in. However, I started going to the chiropractor (for another reason: to turn the baby if that were necessary) and after a few adjustments, the edema was gone! Now that I'm toward the end, I've put on some water weight; I can feel it in my ankles and lower legs, especially when I squat down. But it's NOTHING like it was 13 years ago.

I. Personal maintenance. I'd commented in 2001 that I was disappointed because people kept telling me that at some point, due to hormone stuff from being pregnant, my hair growth would slow down and I wouldn't have to shave anymore. That never happened. It happened this time, though! TMI? Okay. Moving on...

Similarities

A. Nausea. Regardless of how I've felt, I've never thrown up when expecting.

B. Aversion to reading instructional materials. There is a huge industry built around teaching women who are pregnant what to expect, how to prepare, and how to do things. With Daphne, I figured I'd just intuit a lot of it... and I did. But now I also see that everyone's experience is different, and there are some "choices" you can't make until you're in the thick of the moment, and that probably your friends and the health care professionals who already know you are a much better resource than just one author with just one viewpoint.

C. Registries. Didn't want to. Did just to have a list to remind me of what I needed.Registries make me feel presumptuous and grabby. (Other people's registries don't bother me at all!)

D. Hair. Pregnancy is awesome for my hair. It grows faster, it's thick and lush, and this time, I haven't needed to wash it as often as usual.

E. Family pregnancies. My sister Sarah was expecting Mackenzie when I was pregnant with Daphne. D was born a month and some change before Mackenzie. My sister-in-law Mei Li was expecting Emily during my pregnancy, and Emily made her appearance at the end of July.

F. Meralgia Paresthetica. It was much earlier-onset this time, but the same patch of left outer thigh experiences numbness if I stand too long. I have to stretch out to get the baby sac off of whatever nerve it is or the weird numbness turns to extreme pain. Fortunately, since I got to the bottom of the issue with Daphne, I've known how to fix it this time around.

G. Sports drinks. I don't typically drink Gatorade and the like. But during both pregnancies, I have developed a taste for electrolyte-replacement beverages. It was Gatorade's light blue ice flavor that was my favorite with Daphne. This time, it has been Powerade Zero, any flavor, but not so much during the third trimester. Still, just a weird consistency thing that is not of interest to me when I'm not housing a baby.

H. Exercise. With Daphne, I worked out and walked pretty much until I was due. It felt awesome. This time, it's been some walking but mostly biking. Love it!

I. Chiropractic. Regarding the "F" up there... Chiropractic helped me fix that problem, and this time, it's eliminated my swelling. Love me some chiropractic.

J. Allergies/asthma. Being pregnant seems to take care of my asthma, at least temporarily.

K. Due date. I have always had irregular cycles. When I first went in to see a doctor with Daphne, they put her due date at October 21. Later, when she was measuring smaller, they changed it to November 5. This time, based on the statistical "norms," the 40 week mark fell on September 4... but if you talked to me at all about it, I'm sure you heard that this was not what I thought; I felt it would be later. And I was right. The reason I think this is even more TMI than the shaving thing up there, but you'll just have to trust me. I think I'm just now at the 40 week mark, and "normal" is as much as 42 actual weeks.

There are other things... personal, situation things that make a big difference, but I'm not going into those. Basically, there have been some differences and some similarities, but the biggest thing is that I generally enjoy being pregnant as a whole and am more healthy when I'm carrying a baby. I'm also sensitive and kind of bitchy. But it's 9 months when I'm not self-conscious about my appearance, and everything seems kind of like an adventure.

Thirteen years ago and today. I think I'm aging pretty darn well, and rocking this pregnancy thing, too! :)