I wrote him when he was in the Navy. We spoke on the phone and via letters several times over the years. How *did* we find people before the internet? Well, anyway, I'd found him somehow when he and his brother's family were dirt farming in Oklahoma, and then again later when we communicated through Yahoo! emails.
So, yeah, this time we were communicating via Facebook, which he hates. But he didn't have a phone at the time, and it was the easiest way to do things. I have deleted emails, but fortunately Facebook saved some pretty important stuff.
I'd been trying to get James down to Dallas to visit for some time. He always had an excuse. Then my friend Sherri and I were planning a trip to Austin, the very trip where I decided once and for all to move here, in fact.
- May 7, 2012
- May 9, 2012
- May 10, 2012
I wanted desperately to be at that funeral. I even looked at flights or the possibility of driving up Sunday... But it didn't work.
We chatted a couple of times after the funeral, which was difficult for him, as one would imagine, but also for different reasons than the standard very sad loss of a father.
It seemed like that on top of some other life experiences he was having had messed with his head and he was just out of it.
Except this was pretty funny:
Reading back over the messages is a little tough, because I was trying so hard to be humorous and carefree, and James was so distant and edgy. We were both trying to be friendly and support each other, but now that I know us together... it's just jarring.
- May 28, 2012
- May 29, 2012
- May 30, 2012
- June 2, 2012
- June 5, 2012
Yeah, I straight-up begged. And, no, I'm not sharing that email with you. It was basically to the tune of, "These aren't the droids you're looking for." In other words, no. I think I wrote back with, "Yeah, I'm totes coming." Then this happened back over on Facebook.
- June 7, 2012
Right. Blank-o.
So I spent the rest of the next day wondering what the heck to do. In the end, I said I was going to drive up, and James did actually tell me where he lived. So I went. And I cooked. And we ate at Cheesecake Factory and went to this place and talked and really caught up on 20 years or so of our histories.
Then I drove home, expecting nothing.
- June 10, 2012
But you know what? Three years later, I'm starting to believe him.
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