Starting Our 4th Year

Three years ago yesterday, Laura forced her way into my life.

I was in a really bleak pit of despair at the time. I'm still more than a little shocked that she just bullied her way through the layers of funk that I'd built up to defend what was left of myself. Especially since she really wasn't in a great place herself.

It had all the trappings of some sort of horrible tragedy that centers around co-dependency.

Except that we'd been friends who deeply respected and cared for each other for about a decade and a half.

Laura loves to tell the story about how I blew her off that entire time. But my side of it is that one of us was in a relationship every other time the other one got free.

And neither of us is a cheater.

We've had a thing for each other since high school, but it would have been a betrayal to act on it before we did.

I'm sad about all the years we didn't spend together because of our inherent fidelity. Well, mostly hers. In the years of her previous marriage, I'd have happily indulged any inclinations to affairs she might have had (she didn't).

That could never have led to a serious relationship that's based around trust, sharing, and mutual support. I'm sure it works out for some people, but I can't imagine building a real relationship on a foundation of betrayal.

So I'm glad that we waited all these years so the one we have now could be based on bedrock.

Four years ago, I really couldn't imagine being involved in a stable relationship that lasted as long as six months. I just wasn't stable enough to even think about participating in that sort of thing.

And that was before my nose-dive into self-pity.

Laura likes to take all the credit for spending years working to get us together, and she deserves the vast majority.

She absolutely did take a huge gamble by driving to Tulsa, hoping that I'd check my email for a change and tell her where I lived. (This was complicated by the fact that road construction in Tulsa sucks and you had to know lots of back-road secrets that GPS and google didn't to actually find the place).

But she wasn't expecting anything more than a high school reunion before she moved to Austin. She might have been hoping for something magical, but I think she was pretty surprised when I asked if we could try turning it into a "thing."

Or maybe she just master-minded that entire thing so she could trick me into the longest relationship I've ever had (much less enjoyed!). I guess we'll find out at the same bat-time on the same bat-channel...