These aren't a few of my favorite things

As you know, if you know me at all, I'm a huge fan of the social media. By "fan" I don't mean so much that I have a fanatical enjoyment of it, but that it's an efficient way to communicate with a lot of people at once, and I like keeping up with my friends via Facebook.

But I'm going to promise you a few things you will NOT see on my Facebook feed. And I don't mean these as judgments against anyone who *has* done them. I'm just saying it's not my bag, baby, and you don't have to be concerned that you might encounter any of these things on my timeline:

1) A picture of the actual pregnancy test. (I did post a stock photo one April 1st as a joke several years ago, but it wasn't, you know, tainted.)

2) A blow-by-blow description of the stuff that's happening to/inside my body. Now, I might blog about some of that, but I always preface TMI with the caveat that no one should read it and I'm just logging it for historical value. Not on Facebook, though. I might gripe, but I'll try to be non-specific and non-gag-inducing.

3) Ultrasound pictures. 2D or 3D. What *is* that thing, anyway?

4) Stickers demarcating the passage of time: a) on my belly (20 weeks, 25 weeks, etc.) or b) on the baby (1 month, 6 months, etc.).

5) A picture (much less pictures) of any of the skin on my abdomen at any stage of the pregnancy. You know who gets to see that? My husband? You know who *wants* to see that? Yeah. Same audience.

6) Live-blogging/Facebooking my delivery. I can tell you right now, having had one baby with an epidural, labor is not something at which I am particularly "good" or "stoic" or "pleasant." James might want to leave at some point, so I harbor no fantasies than anyone else wants to walk that heinous path with me.

There are also some other things you might be interested to know. Again, no hate toward anyone who does these things, or does not do these things, just that these things seem appropriate for me. The reasons are all personal.

First of all, I don't want a baby shower. I want a shower cake. I want a shower cake from Blue Note Bakery. I will buy it myself. And I will share it with friends. But I don't need presents. I am a grown-ass adult. The things I want and need for the baby, I can buy. My husband makes a comfortable living; we're not kids who are struggling just to get by. My mom says that people might "want" to get the baby something, and if they do, God bless 'em and go for it! But I'm not going to dictate that someone has to show up at a place to give me something, and I'm not going to tell them what to get (although, now that I think about it, house-cleaning help and a meal could be awesome :) ). Maybe this is a character flaw in me, but it's how I feel.

So, anyway, I'd love for some of my Sherman friends to come down and see me, or I could stop by and see them when I drive up to Oklahoma for July 4... but if we do that, I'll need to get a cake from Mom's Bakery. Whatever. I just think it'd be fun to hang out and catch up. And eat cake.

Secondly, I don't have a "nesting" phase. I had Daphne at 1 AMish on a Friday and went out to eat and to church on Saturday night. I know that some people want not to leave the house for a good six weeks, but I was so jarred by the experience of having a newborn that if I stayed home, I became upset and overwhelmed. I felt "normal" when I was around people, or out and about. I was able to remember that everyone else was still going on with their lives as usual. The whole world hadn't changed (in a scary, hopeless way)... it was all still good.

I guess because I'm not a social butterfly or extremely "out there" with regards to parties and functions and whatnot, people think I'm independent and strong and prefer to do things on my own. Maybe I am to an extent, but after Daphne was born, I felt very lonely. Everyone else was busy with jobs and lives... and I'd quit my job to be home full time. I never wanted to go back to work, but I had no friends to talk to in person. My sister lived nearby at that time, so that was cool. But she was only one month behind me, pregnancy-wise, and soon had her own hands full. And my mom came by when she could, but she lived across town and was still teaching then. I had one girlfriend who called me every other day, and we weren't even close in our "real" lives... but her calls were a lifeline. She would tell me the most morbid and angry thoughts she'd had as a mom of a newborn. Again, this helped me to feel less alone and dysfunctional.

So, by all means, if you need a cute baby fix as fall rolls around, come on over. I can't promise that I won't nod off, but by now the bar for my social graces should be set pretty low, so no surprises, right?