My body is tired of some stuff, guys, and I'm going to have to do things differently.
Lately, whenever I wear eyeliner, I have to use eyedrops. My eyes itch, they're dry, and I just can't wait to take it off. Yes, all eyeliner. Yes, even THAT eyeliner. I've tried them all. And I LOVE how "awake" I look and how it opens up my eyes when I wear eyeliner. But I think I have to be done with it.
This week, I've just used dark eye shadow at the eyelash line, and, while it's not perfect, it's been fine. At least I won't have to worry about whether it's run or flaked off? Sigh.
Another thing is my hair. It keeps getting so dried out and I will find and use a fairly expensive shampoo/conditioner that I love... for about a year, then I have to move on because my hair goes back to being crunchy hay and it's just no good.
After three years of this cycle, I have actually purchased a product from an MLM, which, if you know me, you know I AVOID. My friend's house-cleaning wipes were a pleasant surprise, so maybe this will be, too.
Beyond that, I might have made a half-decision (like kind of made it, but not overly committed to it yet). After twenty years, I think I might stop coloring my hair. I am sure my hair won't take it forever without just falling right out. It's been a good, LONG, run.
I did take a two-year-break at one point because I was super heavy, and for some reason decided that not having red hair would draw less attention to my fat body? And I also decided that bangs might help me look cuter. IT. WAS. A. MISTAKE. If you're a person who doesn't have bangs, but you're thinking about getting bangs: DO NOT GET BANGS.
Also, "trying to look less fat" is a vapid and needless pursuit, but I won't get on that soapbox at the moment.
Anyhoo, the color wasn't bad, but I ended up going back to red a couple of years later (and after my bangs had grown back out).
The color I have now is fading so subtly, it seems like I *might* be able to just let it grow out? We'll see. It might be more noticeable when the roots are 2 inches instead of 1/4 inch.
Now... another thing. I love where we live. LOVE IT. That said, I don't think I ever want to buy a house again.
Last Friday night, at 6:48 PM, our lawn mower (a human, not the machine) noticed that we had a pinhole leak in the pipe in the ground right behind our water meter. We got it fixed quickly (yay!) but it was $400.
Tonight at 10, we noticed our air conditioner wasn't working. The repair guy came out, but guess what? It's an electric problem, not an a/c problem! The electrician can get here shortly after 10 in the morning, so it won't be *too* hot. But still. Ugh. Oh, and it was $150 for the a/c service call. For nothing. I mean, I guess we did get some information, And I don't begrudge paying the dude for coming out (with his wife in the car; she was his girlfriend last time he made a late-Friday-night call, back in September when we were at Disney World and my parents and D handled it).
In short, being old is kind of awesome, but comes with some "mature" expenses and weird body changes that I'm sure have only barely begun, since I haven't started menopause yet.
Good times.
Friday, June 28, 2019
Monday, June 24, 2019
Ethical Ramifications of the "Indian Card"?
James got his Cherokee Tribe cards in the mail last week. They certify that he is 1/64 Cherokee. Since he has his, the next logical step is to get Mal's. Mal would be 1/128 Cherokee, since I have no Native blood.
There was a girl at D's gym who ended up going to college for free in Oklahoma because she had her Indian card. At the time, I thought that was a pretty cool deal.
I am no so sure about that anymore.
My son is white. He is physically white. He is culturally white. He has every conceivable advantage in the USA right out of the gate, including economic security, a stable home life, relative safety, and a level of freedom from suspicion that many people also born and raised around here just do not have. No one will make assumptions about his potential, capabilities, criminal proclivity, predisposition to diabetes or heart disease.
Doors will likely be easy for Mal to open.
I don't think we should "use" the Indian Nation certification for anything but to remind Mal who he is. He doesn't need any extra advantages.
If something happens to James or we end up destitute and in desperate need, I might change my tune and go back to the "grab whatever you can" mentality I have definitely had during leaner times in my life.
In the meantime, especially as we head into July 4th and I've been trying to figure out how to explain the USA to my 4-year-old, I'm going to be thinking a lot about how to contribute TO the tribe from which my husband's ancestors hailed, as well as the Tonkawa Tribe and Comanche Nation, whose land we now live on. (Also, I think about reparations a lot, as my ancestors benefitted from owning slaves. But that's another post.)
If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
I don't want my child growing up with a myth of what our country is. It makes July 4th difficult to "celebrate." I found a years-old article today that explains a portion of why: The Dilemma of the Fourth of July.
I hope Mal will grow up recognizing the inherent value of all people, as well as the ability to listen and do right by others. D did, and did most of that research and emotional labor alone. So there's hope.
Anyway, my point I guess is that we don't have to exploit every available "opportunity" when we have so many thrown at our feet. I want us to pass opportunities on to others who might not be the "default target demographic."
There was a girl at D's gym who ended up going to college for free in Oklahoma because she had her Indian card. At the time, I thought that was a pretty cool deal.
I am no so sure about that anymore.
My son is white. He is physically white. He is culturally white. He has every conceivable advantage in the USA right out of the gate, including economic security, a stable home life, relative safety, and a level of freedom from suspicion that many people also born and raised around here just do not have. No one will make assumptions about his potential, capabilities, criminal proclivity, predisposition to diabetes or heart disease.
Doors will likely be easy for Mal to open.
I don't think we should "use" the Indian Nation certification for anything but to remind Mal who he is. He doesn't need any extra advantages.
If something happens to James or we end up destitute and in desperate need, I might change my tune and go back to the "grab whatever you can" mentality I have definitely had during leaner times in my life.
In the meantime, especially as we head into July 4th and I've been trying to figure out how to explain the USA to my 4-year-old, I'm going to be thinking a lot about how to contribute TO the tribe from which my husband's ancestors hailed, as well as the Tonkawa Tribe and Comanche Nation, whose land we now live on. (Also, I think about reparations a lot, as my ancestors benefitted from owning slaves. But that's another post.)
If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
I don't want my child growing up with a myth of what our country is. It makes July 4th difficult to "celebrate." I found a years-old article today that explains a portion of why: The Dilemma of the Fourth of July.
I hope Mal will grow up recognizing the inherent value of all people, as well as the ability to listen and do right by others. D did, and did most of that research and emotional labor alone. So there's hope.
Anyway, my point I guess is that we don't have to exploit every available "opportunity" when we have so many thrown at our feet. I want us to pass opportunities on to others who might not be the "default target demographic."
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Updates, including the fowl sort
The other morning, James came down the hall to leave for work, freshly-showered and wearing a "public radio nerd" T-shirt. It struck me that, if I were a single woman who knew him as the guy who came into my coffee shop every morning, or who worked with him, when I saw him, I'd think, "Well, of course that guy is married. They're all married." (James added: Or gay. Also true.)
We've been married just over six years, and together about seven. We certainly do things that irritate each other. But the fact is, and I should likely think on it more frequently, that everything I ever found important in a guy -- empathy, humor, brains, fun, stuff I can't write about here -- James has in a big way.
When I told him this, he was suspicious that I'd eaten his ice cream, but it's true. He's the whole package, and I'm married to him. Lucky me.
I don't believe I mentioned it here yet, so: We got chickens! They have been an absolute joy so far. They're still babies (about 9.5 weeks old) and are growing in their combs and tail fans. We have six, hopefully all hens, and it's been such a balm to look out at that loft and know it's not sitting empty, and expensive reminder of carnage.
I do, of course, live in abject fear for their mortality when they're out; I'm still gun-shy about predators. But we further secured the loft, and are home keeping an eye on them when they're free-ranging until they are a little bigger.
D has spent time with them, and they are so much more domesticated than the pigeons. They don't mind human touch, and will even perch on you if you sit still very long. I mean, they also pee and poop then so I don't recommend allowing that to go on for very long. It's cute, though. Birds are so light.
On the one hand, wanting to be around while the birds mature means that we can't do an overnight in San Antonio, like I've been wanting to do, or go visit my parents for the day for a while. On the other hand, hanging out around here, and not being in the car, is great for the summer heat. Also, it will help us save money for a family trip we've been planning for more than TWO YEARS next summer.
We went to the pool for the first time this season this week. Then Mal had a friend come over after swimming, and they had fun together. We might go over to her house tomorrow.
James is actually on his way home to work from here because all of the electricity is out in his building. Yeesh.
That means it's make-up time. Have a great rest of the week!
We've been married just over six years, and together about seven. We certainly do things that irritate each other. But the fact is, and I should likely think on it more frequently, that everything I ever found important in a guy -- empathy, humor, brains, fun, stuff I can't write about here -- James has in a big way.
When I told him this, he was suspicious that I'd eaten his ice cream, but it's true. He's the whole package, and I'm married to him. Lucky me.
I don't believe I mentioned it here yet, so: We got chickens! They have been an absolute joy so far. They're still babies (about 9.5 weeks old) and are growing in their combs and tail fans. We have six, hopefully all hens, and it's been such a balm to look out at that loft and know it's not sitting empty, and expensive reminder of carnage.
I do, of course, live in abject fear for their mortality when they're out; I'm still gun-shy about predators. But we further secured the loft, and are home keeping an eye on them when they're free-ranging until they are a little bigger.
D has spent time with them, and they are so much more domesticated than the pigeons. They don't mind human touch, and will even perch on you if you sit still very long. I mean, they also pee and poop then so I don't recommend allowing that to go on for very long. It's cute, though. Birds are so light.
On the one hand, wanting to be around while the birds mature means that we can't do an overnight in San Antonio, like I've been wanting to do, or go visit my parents for the day for a while. On the other hand, hanging out around here, and not being in the car, is great for the summer heat. Also, it will help us save money for a family trip we've been planning for more than TWO YEARS next summer.
We went to the pool for the first time this season this week. Then Mal had a friend come over after swimming, and they had fun together. We might go over to her house tomorrow.
James is actually on his way home to work from here because all of the electricity is out in his building. Yeesh.
That means it's make-up time. Have a great rest of the week!
Saturday, June 8, 2019
Putting Our Money Where Our Mouth Is
(I suppose we have a collective mouth? That sentence doesn't make sense, but I wrote it like a week ago, so I guess I'll keep it.)
We've been bandying this about for a while, and it seemed time to put up or shut up.
I'll admit that I dragged my feet on the global climate issue for quite some time. But now, we're at a point where it seems like a lot of action needs to be taken (ESPECIALLY by the something like 100 giant companies that produce 71% of our earth's greenhouse gases).
But, honestly, we can all act in small ways that might make a difference. You know, lots of people doing lots of small things can be a big thing.
Anyway, something I didn't even know existed and am, frankly, skeptical about, is that our electric co-op has a renewable energy rider. If you sign up for it, it costs less than $1 a month extra, and they provide your electricity strictly from renewable sources (water, wind, solar, bio fuel). I have a lot of questions about this: Is there an external source monitoring this? Do they guarantee it? Why, when it's so stupidly cheap, doesn't just everyone do it? Why didn't I know about it until I searched for it? Maybe they can't accommodate every single person choosing that? Anyway. Lots of questions. But we did sign up for it, anyway.
And now, we've decided, after ruminating for a bit, to take the plunge and get solar panels. We're aiming to produce about 90% of the electricity we use, so the financing should be about the same price as our electric bills would be during the summer. It'll be a little higher during the milder months, but also hopefully our net metering, wherein we earn credit for excess energy we produce that our electric company buys from us (at half what we pay them for their stuff, but that's business for you), will help make up for that at that time.
Regardless of if we end up paying a bit more out of pocket, James and I have both been trying to figure out ways to reduce our impact on the environment. Hopefully this will help.
Honestly, committing ourself to MORE debt (all we have otherwise is our house and car, but still...) and ANOTHER monthly payment has me all up in "buyer's remorse" territory, even though we still have three days to back out. But, again, the net is negligible. AND this is, for now, anyway, the last year the government will give us a tax credit for 30% of the cost to install. Next year, it goes down to 26%, then in 2021 to 22%... then it goes away. Also, existing and potential tariffs are affecting and threaten to affect pricing. So, again... we're kind of in a sweet spot.
In other notes, we placed one of our apple trees in a bad place, solar-wise, so we'll just have to be sure to top it in a few years, and every year after. James said that no one wants to climb 40 feet to get an apple, anyway, so this is probably just a super practical idea on its own merit.
That's it for now! Keep going, earth!
We've been bandying this about for a while, and it seemed time to put up or shut up.
I'll admit that I dragged my feet on the global climate issue for quite some time. But now, we're at a point where it seems like a lot of action needs to be taken (ESPECIALLY by the something like 100 giant companies that produce 71% of our earth's greenhouse gases).
But, honestly, we can all act in small ways that might make a difference. You know, lots of people doing lots of small things can be a big thing.
Anyway, something I didn't even know existed and am, frankly, skeptical about, is that our electric co-op has a renewable energy rider. If you sign up for it, it costs less than $1 a month extra, and they provide your electricity strictly from renewable sources (water, wind, solar, bio fuel). I have a lot of questions about this: Is there an external source monitoring this? Do they guarantee it? Why, when it's so stupidly cheap, doesn't just everyone do it? Why didn't I know about it until I searched for it? Maybe they can't accommodate every single person choosing that? Anyway. Lots of questions. But we did sign up for it, anyway.
And now, we've decided, after ruminating for a bit, to take the plunge and get solar panels. We're aiming to produce about 90% of the electricity we use, so the financing should be about the same price as our electric bills would be during the summer. It'll be a little higher during the milder months, but also hopefully our net metering, wherein we earn credit for excess energy we produce that our electric company buys from us (at half what we pay them for their stuff, but that's business for you), will help make up for that at that time.
Regardless of if we end up paying a bit more out of pocket, James and I have both been trying to figure out ways to reduce our impact on the environment. Hopefully this will help.
Honestly, committing ourself to MORE debt (all we have otherwise is our house and car, but still...) and ANOTHER monthly payment has me all up in "buyer's remorse" territory, even though we still have three days to back out. But, again, the net is negligible. AND this is, for now, anyway, the last year the government will give us a tax credit for 30% of the cost to install. Next year, it goes down to 26%, then in 2021 to 22%... then it goes away. Also, existing and potential tariffs are affecting and threaten to affect pricing. So, again... we're kind of in a sweet spot.
In other notes, we placed one of our apple trees in a bad place, solar-wise, so we'll just have to be sure to top it in a few years, and every year after. James said that no one wants to climb 40 feet to get an apple, anyway, so this is probably just a super practical idea on its own merit.
That's it for now! Keep going, earth!
Saturday, June 1, 2019
Observations of Mal
When we were at Jump Street the other day (one of many times; it's one of Mal's favorite places, and I'm trying to burn him out on it before he turns 5 and the price goes up significantly), I noticed something about how Mal plays differently from a lot of other boys.
First of all, you know Mal has a LOT of energy. He hurts himself so much because he's always jumping from one piece of furniture to the next, or running and looking back and slamming into things. He likes to be active and playing and is full throttle... When we go to Jump Street, he'll often run up and down one long trampoline over and over again. He's just always going.
But he's not a rough. I mean, he tramples my feet all of the time, and he'll push himself up by digging his calf bone into my leg, and he's even stepped on my boob more than once (I KNOW). But this is because he's being thoughtless in his play, not because he's purposefully rough-housing.
I watched these two boys run into the area where Mal was playing, and they were hurling dodge balls at each other, and body-slamming mid-jump and doing these brute force air-bound back flips.
Mal doesn't typically play with kids like this. Besides not enjoying being hit really hard by a ball thrown less strategically than by his parents (wherein we attempt to miss his face and/or crotch), Mal also rarely engages in straightforward physical activity.
For most children, jumping on a trampoline is enough, right? But Mal is always pretending. He's Sonic the Hedgehog and I'm his as-yet childless mom, Sonia, wistfully expressing desire to have a baby to take care of. Or I'm Knuckles and we're trying to decide what to do today. Or I'm Amy and I want him to watch a bird for me.
Or else he's Lightning McQueen and I'm Mater and I don't understand where we are. Or he's Robin, trying to lead the Teen Titans even though he doesn't have a super power.
When he plays at McDonald's, the PlayPlace is his lair or his giant robot. Or he wants to play hide and seek with whoever else is there.
-- Later -- Mal woke up and so I played with him in his room... he wanted to read books, but rather than just hand me books to read, he crawled up under his bed (I had the trundle on the floor, but not pushed in) and fed me the books through the crack between the beds. He was a goblin mailman who delivered books, then crawled through the "mail slot" himself for me to read to him.
Every night when it's time to go to bed, he gets excited and says, "Let's chat about our day. How was your day?" After we discuss what we did and how much fun we had, then he starts asking about favorites. "What's your favorite candy? Sonic Dash character? Sonic Boom character? Cars character? Fruit? Thing to eat at McDonald's? Hotel?" Usually, I have to ask him to talk to me while I rest because I wear out long before he does on most days.
He really is a fun, enthusiastic, imaginative, emotional kid. Watching him grow up is immensely interesting.
First of all, you know Mal has a LOT of energy. He hurts himself so much because he's always jumping from one piece of furniture to the next, or running and looking back and slamming into things. He likes to be active and playing and is full throttle... When we go to Jump Street, he'll often run up and down one long trampoline over and over again. He's just always going.
But he's not a rough. I mean, he tramples my feet all of the time, and he'll push himself up by digging his calf bone into my leg, and he's even stepped on my boob more than once (I KNOW). But this is because he's being thoughtless in his play, not because he's purposefully rough-housing.
I watched these two boys run into the area where Mal was playing, and they were hurling dodge balls at each other, and body-slamming mid-jump and doing these brute force air-bound back flips.
Mal doesn't typically play with kids like this. Besides not enjoying being hit really hard by a ball thrown less strategically than by his parents (wherein we attempt to miss his face and/or crotch), Mal also rarely engages in straightforward physical activity.
For most children, jumping on a trampoline is enough, right? But Mal is always pretending. He's Sonic the Hedgehog and I'm his as-yet childless mom, Sonia, wistfully expressing desire to have a baby to take care of. Or I'm Knuckles and we're trying to decide what to do today. Or I'm Amy and I want him to watch a bird for me.
Or else he's Lightning McQueen and I'm Mater and I don't understand where we are. Or he's Robin, trying to lead the Teen Titans even though he doesn't have a super power.
When he plays at McDonald's, the PlayPlace is his lair or his giant robot. Or he wants to play hide and seek with whoever else is there.
-- Later -- Mal woke up and so I played with him in his room... he wanted to read books, but rather than just hand me books to read, he crawled up under his bed (I had the trundle on the floor, but not pushed in) and fed me the books through the crack between the beds. He was a goblin mailman who delivered books, then crawled through the "mail slot" himself for me to read to him.
Every night when it's time to go to bed, he gets excited and says, "Let's chat about our day. How was your day?" After we discuss what we did and how much fun we had, then he starts asking about favorites. "What's your favorite candy? Sonic Dash character? Sonic Boom character? Cars character? Fruit? Thing to eat at McDonald's? Hotel?" Usually, I have to ask him to talk to me while I rest because I wear out long before he does on most days.
He really is a fun, enthusiastic, imaginative, emotional kid. Watching him grow up is immensely interesting.
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