Tuesday, May 26, 2020

What I Noticed...

A couple of observations from this weekend:

1) There were some things in place that were not "normal" pre-pandemic things. For instance, signing up for a pool slot, the fact that there was no on-site dining at the restaurant, the off-property restaurant we visited only had 4 tables inside the dining room, and a bunch separated from each other outside. People weren't bunching up at the park, even though it was very busy. However, as we packed up to leave Monday, it felt the most "normal" we've felt in a long time.

2) We did not have internet most of the time that we were there. They advertise free wifi, but living in RV parks taught me that it's more aspirational than realistic. We were able to access the internet very early in the morning when people were still asleep, but even then it was SLOW (I tested. It was 1.85 Mbps). And because we were kind of out, AND the park was so full, even our cellular data did not work well. I could text, but not see pictures that a friend sent me. I got notifications from Slack, but then couldn't see them. What this meant is that I also didn't watch YouTube or get news from anywhere. Whatever was happening in Washington DC felt like it was too distant to matter to our tiny little lives. It was glorious.

3) I can be a pretty patient parent when I don't have anything "better" to do than pay attention to my kid.

4) My feet don't threaten to swell when I'm not standing still several hours a day cooking and doing laundry.

5) I think we should move to a remote area in Colorado and pretend we're camping all of the time. I think we'd need a maid, though, so I could reap all of the benefits of numbers 3 and 4.

6) We absolutely are not ready to live in an RV. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, but that cabin had us pressed in way too close for comfort for every day life. And we didn't even bring James's two monitors or many of Mal's toys.



Monday, May 25, 2020

Long Weekend in the "Woods"

About a week ago, James found out that his company was gifting the employees Friday off as well as Memorial Day. Normally, I do. not. travel during high-occupancy times, but this seemed like the perfect time to get a little break from the monotony of everyone's being in the house and in the neighborhood 24/7.

At first, I booked a cheap room in Port Aransas, which we love. We haven't been there since Mal was newly two years old. But then I thought about how many people would likely be there, and how enjoying the beach when it's empty is so much fun. So I canceled that and pulled up the "camps" I'd saved earlier this year when I was doing research for "staycations."

It just so happened that I was able to book a lodge room a Jellystone Hill Country. A lot of the activities and amenities were curtailed due to CDC guidelines (the arcade, indoor activities like dance parties and crafts, etc.), but the park was open, and, importantly, so was the pool. Yes, rain was forecasted for the whole weekend. But, whatever. It was a chance to get away for a few days, so we went for it.

In a couple of days before the trip, I received a call that the lodge room I'd booked was still undergoing refurbishing, and would I mind being moved to a Cindy Bear Cottage? MORE room, a private fire ring (rather than a common one for all 4 lodge rooms) and a covered patio? At the same price? Yes, please!

This is Lodge Room 17, still very much in progress.
On Friday, we drove to my sister's, which is a little less than half way between our house and the park. Sarah fractured her wrist and likely a rib when she got into a (very heavy) bicycle accident, so we took them some lunch and they lent us their marshmallow-roasting skewers, then we headed out.

We got to the park two hours before check-in, but they let us go ahead and get our golf cart, and even though it was HOT, we enjoyed looking around and getting familiar with the park until we could get into our cabin.








In order to maintain "social distancing" at the pool, they were only allowing 43 people to swim for a two-hour stretch, after which they emptied the area for fifteen minutes and did a complete cleaning of all surfaces. Knowing this, we reserved the 5-7 slot as soon as we got checked in. Then we were ready to check out the cabin!



It was nice. There was "room" for 8 people to sleep: a queen-sized bed in the "bedroom," a full-sized futon, two mini-twins in a bunk room, and two twin beds up in the loft. We've stayed in a cabin with a loft before, in New Braunfels, and Mal and I almost sweat to death. In these cabins, there's a separate window unit upstairs. We didn't sleep up there, and probably couldn't have because the a/c was on its way out and quite noisy, but it did keep the cabin much cooler during the day (and we turned it off at night). I wouldn't recommend traveling with 8 people and staying in one of these cabins, though, because it was tight just with three of us. Still... more room than I'd paid for, so, yay!


We swam for nearly the whole of our two hours, and, man, it was NICE only having to share with a few dozen people!


They were limiting guests at their bounce pillow to 4 at a time, with blue taped squares on the pad to space people out... but two brothers left as soon as Mal got there, so he was able to enjoy it all on his own.

We went back to the room and ate snacks we'd brought (James ate gas station food because he realized that everything in town shuts down as soon as people can't rent tubes anymore), watched TV, and took a few golf car rides to see how the campsites looked in the dark.


Saturday morning, I got up and went into town to get breakfast. I left the park right before 8, when the restaurant was opening, and noticed some people sitting outside of the ranger station... we'll get to that in a few minutes.




I had read about the Wildflour Artesan Bakery and Grill before we left, and it did not disappoint. We got: Hill Country Tenderloin Hash (crispy hash browns topped with pan-seared tenderloin tips, onions, bell peppers, 2 eggs your way topped with hollandaise and green onion), Hill Country Omelet (venison sausage, duck bacon, tomatoes, sautéed onions, and smoked provolone), and for Mal a pancake with scrambled egg.

When I got back, there were many MANY more people at the ranger station. It was 8:30. I had breakfast with James, then went over at about 5 'til 9, when the station opened. By the time I got to the front, the only swim times left were 9-11 AM, or 6-7:30 PM. I booked us for 6, and we spent the whole day listening to Mal ask when we were going swimming.

Well, not ALL day. We also did a scavenger hunt.



We had a picnic with food from the Pic-a-Nik Basket on-site... at our covered patio seating! That's also not something we would have gotten if we'd rented the lodge. As you can see from the scavenger hunt picture above, there are tables, but they're just out on the lawn. It was VERY hot when the sun was out, and super nice to have a shady place to eat. Oh, we got a fabulous pulled pork southwest "salad" (I guess the salad part was the beans and corn? Anyway, it was GOOD), a "grown-up" grilled cheese with tomatoes and bacon, and loaded waffle fries.


We also played with the Plus Plus set Mal had picked out from the ranger station, and we played a few rounds of Slap Jack and the Matching Game from a set of 6 different kids' card games we bought just for the trip.



We were told that we could check in at the pool to see if anyone had left and there was room for new swimmers. We tried 4 times, but no one was heading out early. Mal wore his bathing suit a great portion of the day, though, and we did get ourselves wet at the sluice, which was refreshing in its own right.


Finally, it was almost 6! We went down to the ranger station to watch for the cleaning crew to take off. Then we crossed the street and Mal ran ahead, eager to be the first in. He somehow tripped over or slipped on or lost his balance coming off of a speed bump and landed face-first on the concrete. He scraped his nose a little and his philtrum a lot. He also scraped up his left elbow, and his top teeth gouged a hole inside his upper lips. He was bleeding from the gums, and he said that his teeth were loose.

The staff was great! One guy ran into the restaurant to get us an ice pack (which I knew Mal would refuse). The other ushered us into the restaurant bathroom so I could clean up the blood and assess the damage. Turns out he was an EMT, and looked at Mal's lip when we were calmed down and back outside. He said that it was all superficial and he'd be fine.

Meanwhile, I was super hoping he'd maybe knock those two front teeth out. One of the caps has come a little loose so is wonky. I think we had the worst dentist, and I'm ready for the work she did to be out of his face hole. It's almost time, so it wouldn't have been more than a year or so until new teeth grew in. Oh well. I'm glad he's fine.

And we were off to the pool, where he quickly forgot that he'd gotten hurt at all, even though his upper lip was swollen for the night.


The next morning, guess who walked up to the ranger station at 8:15? While I was waiting, I learned that, although the ranger station opened at 9:00 AM, they were taking reservations starting at 8:30. I got us a prime spot at 11:15. So far, the thunderstorms predicted for the whole weekend hadn't panned out, though it did rain heavily for about 2 minutes twice before we swam. It just made the water even cooler, and we got plenty of vitamin D.

I left a few minutes before James and Mal did, so I could take a shower in the comfort station. We had a shower in our bathroom, but it was small and I also didn't want to steam up the cabin. At about 2:00 PM, we went...


... right back to the Wildflour because their food had been so amazing. This is the first time we've eaten together inside a restaurant since the middle of March, when it had seemed a little weird that IHOP was dispensing syrup via your waiter rather than allowing customers to touch the containers and risk contamination. It was very spaced out, and there were only 4 tables inside the dining room. We had been willing to sit wherever, but were indoors.

James got Geraldine's Tomato Pie (puff pastry filled with layers of tomato, white cheddar, parmesan cheese) with a side of white cheddar poblano soup, I had the salmon burger (house-smoked salmon blended with onion & bell pepper complimented with chipotle aioli, lettuce, tomato on a toasted cheddar jalapeno bun), and Mal got chicken tenders with fries. We ended up taking home, respectively as above, blueberry cheesecake, cheesecake, and chocolate cake. James and I had ours for breakfast before leaving Monday morning. Did not disappoint.

Back at the park, we got some wood and planned to have a campfire. It was the coolest day so far, and thus seemed an appropriate time to try to make some s'mores.





Shortly after James roasted his second marshmallow, the promised deluge arrived, and we slept to the tune of thunder and downpour all night.

This morning, we took our time clearing out, drove around one last time, and turned in our golf cart. Then we drove over to Canyon Lake Dam to check that out. Mal was not happy to have to walk around at all, but it was pretty nonetheless.

Dam side.

Back side.

Beach. We did not make it down there. See above.
Finally, on our way out, we stopped at a hydroelectric station on the Guadalupe. It was gorgeous, and we were chased to our car by heavy rain. Perfect ending to a great little getaway!




Monday, May 18, 2020

Wading Through Sludge

Last week, everything just felt hard.

Getting Mal to take his fiber gummies... hard. Getting Mal to brush his teeth in the morning... hard. Getting Mal to sit on the toilet a few times a day... hard. Getting Mal to go outside... hard. Keeping up with the cooking and cleaning while we're all in this space 24/7... hard. Keeping up with groceries and supplies and Amazon orders... hard. Remembering to put Miralax in everything Mal was drinking... hard.

It was just slow and heavy, and I was tired. I'm still a little tired, but I have changed things up just a tiny bit this week.

First, I ditched the fiber supplements and am looking for new ones. I ate them and they're not terrible; I'll probably finish them. They do have a "chicory root" aftertaste, but that's because... they're made out of chicory root.

Second, James has a 4-day weekend coming up, and just having something different to look forward to is helping.

Third, I am over the hump of trying to cut down on both caffeine and, mostly, caramel color (for my own reasons; you do you, love), so my personality has mostly returned, and I think I feel slightly more human than I did last week.

Now... has Mal made any progress on the gastro-internal health front? That would be a big old "not really." Somehow, even though we've had him on Miralax for a week and a half, I've given him Activia and sugar-free chocolate, he has seriously upped his fiber, and it's likely that everything in him is totally liquid now (we had a couple of eye-opening and nose-pinching incidents over the weekend that required much cleaning and erasing of memories), he WILL NOT POOP.

Today, I was trying to have him sit on the toilet every time his stomach growled. The second time, he just refused. I told him that he will never get better, never heal his muscle tone, never be able to feel when he actually needs to go, if we don't first get him empty so he can recover. He cried and told he he'd sit on the toilet tomorrow. I picked him up, as I often do, and carried him in there. But he's just over 50 pounds and my left thumb is messed up. When he struggles, it's like he weighs 150 pounds.

He was trying to run away from me, to get out of the bathroom. He was crying and complaining. I felt myself getting VERY angry, so I just sat him in the floor of the restroom and walked away. He ended up giving up, "Fine! I'll go!" and sat down. He did not go, though.

Everything I've read says not to make this kind of thing traumatizing for the child, not to get emotional, to make it fun. But it doesn't say what to do if your child is content never to go into the bathroom except to pee, and no amount of offering to read, let him play a game on his computer, chat, tell stories, play games, have a counting contest, etc. can convince him. He's already traumatized, and I'm worried that if we have to seek further, more invasive, medical intervention, it will be even worse. I'm trying to stay patient and stay the course, even as I see his distended belly and feel how rock-hard it is.


Anyway, here's Mal. He's precious. And he's a lot. I love him, and I wish I could say that I wouldn't change anything about him, but I do wish I could painlessly steamroll his abdomen and squeeze him empty like a toothpaste tube.

Monday, May 11, 2020

Day of Disappointments

This morning, I finally got the final paperwork for submitting the rebate request through our electric co-op for the new HVAC system we got in February. Once I got onto the site though, the application link was gone and, instead, I saw this:


I called the co-op and and she didn't have any information as to when it would go live again, but it's already been 3 months since we had it installed, and the deadline is 60 days. However, we had the heat pump put in on February 13. It was listed as "pending" in the city's building code inspection unit until... they were no longer allowed to do in-home inspections anymore because of COVID19. Then once they finally got out here, PEC has closed down the program.

Granted, it was only $300 on a substantially more expensive project, but still... we were certainly expecting it.

Then later this afternoon, I was brushing Mal's hair and he was mad about it, as usual. I was doing it while he was watching videos so he'd be distracted. He decided to play LEGO Star Wars instead, and instead of choosing "Load Game," he selected "New Game," and clicked on the game slot we have been playing for six months. We have 68% of the game completed. The warning popped up, "This will delete the data for the existing game. Do you wish to proceed?" Before I could stop him, he pressed, "Yes." And it wiped out every bit of progress in the game. We had to start all over. All of the levels were locked, all of the characters locked. No coins, no accomplishments. Nothing.

There was a lot more crying involved in that than in the $300 thing, I can assure you.

It's been a few hours, and we're both coping okay. We've played a lot of computer games today, as I promised to help Mal catch back up to where we were.


Saturday, May 9, 2020

Attempting Evacuations

Mal has been awake for about an hour and a half. He's had his fiber supplement, his drink has Miralax in it, and I actually made 100% whole wheat waffles this morning. I guess I should start thinking about how to work in whole wheat flour with other baking items, since all of the foods Mal enjoys are apparently "constipating" foods. He used to eat broccoli, but not anymore... and, of course, that helps stuff stay on the move in the digestive system. Anyway, he likes baked goods, so I'll start working on that. James will prefer it that way.

Hmm. I just tasted the waffles and they're... different. I'm kind of surprised Mal ate more than half of his, because they ARE different.

Anyway, that's just a brief check-in. Now we're on to Star Wars LEGOs.

Friday, May 8, 2020

On Gentle Parenting... and Poop

In a much quicker update than I was expecting to have when I mentioned the restroom issues Mal was having yesterday: I took him to the doctor today. He had an x-ray. I can't show you the image because I don't have access to it, but here is the official description: "There is a nonspecific nonobstructive bowel gas pattern. Prominent colonic stool burden with redundant air-filled sigmoid colon. No suspicious calcifications are seen. The osseous structures are unremarkable."

To put it in layman's terms: My son is full of shite. His entire large intestine is stuffed. There are other things the doctor showed me on the x-ray that I won't go into here, because I know TMI when I see it, believe it or not.

I'm a medical minimalist, and I'm not sure I would have thought to take him to the doctor yet, if it weren't for some very wise fellow unschoolers in the Austin area. I reached out and asked for advice, and explained that I was not interested in the advice I've heard from some parents, to the tune of: "Make them clean it up if they soil their pants," and "Clean their bottoms off in a cold shower. I did it to my daughter twice, and she started going in the toilet."

I don't like those ideas because they're punitive. Even the "experts" who say, "Don't get emotional, but do make them clean it up. It's a natural and logical consequence," it's still a punishment. There's almost no other area in Mal's life where I insist he clean up a mess he's made with zero help, and this is actually a lot more involved than putting up Legos. It also requires a certain manual dexterity in order to clean without making a bigger mess.

And the cold shower thing? I don't want to take a cold shower. Even if I do something totally dumb and get myself very dirty, I would prefer to be comfortable when cleaning up. Why would I subject my child to something I myself would find miserable?

Fortunately, there are many like-minded parents in this group from whom I sought collaborative advice. All were in agreement: He knows. He's already stressed. You don't have to talk about it or make it a big deal. Two or three recommended I take him to the doctor and ask for an ultrasound. A couple tagged a pediatrician who offered to help me if I didn't have a family pediatrician.

We do, and so I made an appointment. I told the doctor that when all of this started, months and months ago, I think it *was* a behavioral thing. Mal would hide in his room instead of going to the bathroom, and just work really hard to hold it in. He's never just pooped his pants. He just didn't want us to see him working so hard NOT to go to the bathroom. But over time, I think this built up to the point that it crossed over into a physical problem, based on everything I read and then other people's input.

And today, we verified it. He has a medical issue that we're going to tackle with... medicine. I already feel bad enough about any frustration I showed him over the cleaning and the monitoring that we've had to do. So on the way home, I told him that the doctor confirmed that this was a problem inside of his body, and we're going to take care of it. That I appreciated how hard he's been trying not to dirty his pants, but it's not his fault if it happens, and he's such a good boy, regardless.

Imagine how much worse I'd feel if I'd tried manipulating him into a behavior that his body currently renders impossible. I'm grateful to be old enough to "know better" and reject bad parenting advice when I see it. Even if Mal were just a little booger who was crapping his pants intentionally, the fact is that there's always a way to approach solutions like you're on the same team with your children. I wish I'd realized this sooner, when D was much younger.

Changing the subject slightly: It WAS every bit as exhausting taking Mal to the doctor, then downstairs for an x-ray, then back up to the doctor's office as you might think. He complained in the lobby that he wanted to go home. He complained in the patient room that he wanted to go home. He cried a LOT in the imaging lobby that he would just lie on the floor out there and they could bring the camera out to take a picture there. He took a death grip on the chair when the gentle and patient technician came out to call us back.

One good thing about having the mask (#COVID19) was that Mal pulled it up to cover his eyes, too, so he wouldn't have to see the x-ray. It was incredibly quiet and non-threatening. Still, Mal was upset the whole time and insisted later that it was awful and he'd never talk about it again. He vacillated over whether or not to see "the picture," then just didn't care when we got to look at it.

After the doctor's office, we went to Target to get a LEGO set I'd ordered him for pick-up and we had to wait in a very long line to get into the store, even just to go to customer service and get out. THEN, because I'd promised my family In N Out, we had to wait in a VERY long drive-through line for that. Both moved pretty quickly, but by the time we got home, I was TIRED.

Mal, though, seemed to get a rush of energy from the adrenaline of the day, and has been bouncing off the walls pretty much nonstop since. We've been home six hours and he's jumping on the couch. I don't usually feel like an "old mom," but I definitely do today. After care-taking for such an emotionally wrought child for a good hour at the pediatrician's, I was ready to crash. Not so with my kid. And now he wants me to go play LEGO Minecraft with him, so I suppose I should do that. I'm actually ready for bed right now, but... guess it's time to be Alex.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Social Distancing, Day 54

It's been nearly two months since Mal wore his headphones. I wonder, if we ever get back out in big groups, whether he'll want or need them.

Our days have kind of a rhythm to them now, much more so than when we had places to go and things to do. A lot of it revolves around stuff we have to do to deal with some of Mal's... um, health quirks?

After Mal wakes up, I bring him 2 fiber and 2 multi-vitamin chewables. He HATES the fiber gummies, probably because they taste like chicory root. However, he has chronic issues with not moving his bowels for several days at a time, and we're trying to nip that in the bud (which is the correct terminology, but in this case, "butt" would actually be appropriate, as well).

Since he hates the taste of this stuff so much, he's only too willing to do the morning teeth-brushing routine. We have to be SO careful with his teeth because they're super prone to cavities. I guess his teeth are just extremely porous? I'm hoping that his adult teeth will not be so. I'm glad he's up for this, though! He'll even ask later in the day, "Did we brush my teeth this morning?"

I do spend a lot of the day asking him to sit on the toilet for just a few minutes, because he suffers from encopresis. This has been going on for years, pretty much since he was toilet trained. The only thing we haven't done is have an abdominal x-ray, but we might have to do that eventually. Man, I dread the thought of that. The last time Mal got his hair cut, he stood in the chair and cried, hanging on to me, the whole time Kayt game him a trim. I can't imagine getting him settled for an x-ray.

(I just emailed his doctor, so I'll let you know what happens. I know you'll be waiting with bated breath.)

When the weather permits, we're still eating our evening dinner on the front porch.

We've usually been taking a family walk after dinner. Sometimes, it's just me. Sometimes, it's just Mal and me (when James's knees or ankles are acting up). But usually, we all go. Mal is usually in the stroller, even though he's five and a half, because I want to go on a walk without dealing with complaining the whole way. That's been nice.

Mal has discovered a mailbox that's in the shape of a large-mouth bass on the other side of our neighborhood. He loves it. I can get in a nice long walk if he's amenable to go gawk at it. But I have to stay on the opposite side of the road, because he's also a bit intimidated by it. And cacti. Even the spineless ones that are blooming right now.

Something interesting/telling happened on our walk last night.

It was warmish and kind of windy, so I was trying to talk Mal into wearing a ponytail so his hair wouldn't get tangled from sweat and wind. I finally talked him into a low pony, but when he got into the stroller, he said, "I knew this would happen! I can't sit back all the way!" So I pulled the ponytail out... and put it back on top of his head.

When he realized this, he started crying. He asked me to take it out. Then he said, "I don't want to look like a girl!" I took it out immediately, and asked him, "What does 'a girl' look like?" And, "Does Daddy look like a girl with his ponytail?" He said, "No." I asked, "What's so bad about looking like a girl, anyway? I look like a girl and it's pretty great."

He gets mistaken for a girl all the time. Even in our front yard wearing only boxer briefs. But he does not want to cut his hair. "Never!!" This is the first time he's expressed displeasure with people's assumptions about his gender. I read a thing the other day where a man said that he just takes his son with him to the barber every couple of weeks (pre-COVID10(. He was saying that parents shouldn't expose their sons to mockery and the easy way to do that is to cut their hair in a stereotypical "boys'" cut.

First, Mal has never been "mocked," only misidentified. People are generally very gracious about it when he corrects them. Kids are harder to convince.

Second, the way to keep someone from being mocked isn't to change them. It's to teach people who think it's okay to mock someone that it's not okay. Good grief.

Another funny thing that happened in the front yard the other night was that Mal had kind of disappeared around the corner and I called him to talk to him about staying in the yard, etc. Mal came over and was pretty disgruntled. He said, "I NEVER get to do ANYTHING that I want to do!"

We wanted to laugh, because that kid has so much more freedom that a lot of children his age (and more than D did at this age). But I get that's what it feels like. He can't drive. He can't reach stuff that's up too high. He can't go to the store to acquire everything that he wants. He's basically at our mercy for everything. This is one reason we try really hard to say "yes" whenever possible. Being a kid is a slog.


Saturday, May 2, 2020

There's Always Room for Beauty in the World of Magic

Mal loves magic. We've told him that Santa's an idea rather than an actual person, but he insists that since he spoke aloud what he wants for Christmas, Santa heard him and will bring it. Same with the Tooth Fairy. I had to leave a dollar under his pillow when his crown fell out because he insisted to me that it would happen, even though we've never told him there was a Tooth Fairy, and explained that in a video he watched, the mom or dad were pretending to be the Tooth Fairy.

Like Fox Mulder, he wants to believe.

The other day, we were playing with Mal's Star Wars Micro Machines when I asked him if he wanted to see something magic. I took a Han Solo mini-figure, which is exactly like a full-sized action figure he has, shook it in between my hands, and produced the larger figure. Mal looked amazed, but also said, "I want it to be small again!" So I shook my hands together again, and handed him the smaller figure. He asked me to do it again. I'd already set the larger one under my leg, so this time, I just shook my fist like I was going to throw dice, made a throwing motion into the air, and threw the larger figure.

Mal was amazed and said he wanted to try. I told him it wouldn't work because he wasn't magic. I "shrunk" the character and handed him the Micro Machine. He shook it between his hands, opened them, and... it was still the small character. He asked, "Why didn't it work?" I told him to try again, only to toss it in the air this time. When he did, I threw the larger character. They both hit the ground at the same time. When he viewed them both together, he realized the trick and his face fell. "I wanted to see REAL magic!" he complained, and I determined never to reveal the banal behind what he desperately wants to believe is truly magical.

When we visited my sister's house for a bit yesterday, he desperately wanted Tian to "teleport" for him. One time when we were there, a year or so ago, Tian had gone into the laundry room and "disappeared," only to reappear in the pantry. Tian was busy with something else yesterday, and didn't perform for him, but Mal so much was expecting "real" magic.

This reminds me of when I was a youngster, actually. We'd gone to the preacher's house for something, and their older kids had asked me if I wanted to see something cool. I did. They went into a bedroom, shut the door, and a couple of minutes later, walked in from outside. I asked how they did it, because the bedroom was partially underground and had high windows, so they showed me a built-in shoe storage box in the back of their closet. They said that it had a false bottom, and you could take it out, and drop down into the basement, then come out into the garage.

I loved the idea of this secret passageway in this delightful house. I thought about it from time to time for what seemed like years. The next time we visited them (which we did not do often), the only thing I could think about was getting into that room and seeing the passageway. It was a legend in my mind by this time.

At some point, I sneaked into the room and opened the storage box. I pulled a couple of pair of shoes out... it was carpeted, like the rest of the room. The floor was solid. I looked around and noticed a desk sitting not quite under the high window, but close enough that a teenager could stand on the desk and probably pull himself out of the window. Then they only had to walk around the house and come back inside.

I'd figured it out, but it felt like a loss. I wished I hadn't. The idea of a magic passageway was so much cooler.

I wonder if the reason I try to make Mal (and did the same with D) understand reality is that I don't want them to be disappointed when the magic they believe in reveals itself to be an illusion. There is so much about the world that is practically magic, I guess I want them to focus on that stuff?