Reluctantly Grateful

My great state of Texas did a thing recently that I do not agree with: They instituted a "voucher" program where parents can sign their students up and get $10,000 to apply to private school tuition. In every state where this has happened so far, public schools have suffered. Although my kids haven't been in public schools, I don't homeschool because we hate the school system! I think public education is important and that it needs to be fully funded to meet all of the students' needs, not just the median kids'. This means special ed, English as a second language, 2e, kids at nutritional risk, etc. etc. etc. Money that we pull out of that system to fund people who are already making other choices is unfair to the students who are staying behind in the catch-all schools. 

One other thing here is that the state is funding each student to the tune of $10k when the average in public schools in our state is closer to $6k AND these private schools don't have to be accredited and therefore do not have to perform on standardized testing in the way that public schools have to perform. It's not a fair system, and it seems pretty obvious that the point IS to hobble the public school system further so that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy about how much better "the market" can provide for students... when the fact is that there are some students private institutions cannot and will not take on. They just won't. It's the same as with the postal service: many addresses in the United States would not be worth it for a for-profit delivery service to take on, or else they would have to charge hundreds of dollars to deliver to the hard-to-reach areas.

So there you go: Mail and education are two things that should be level fields in the US. And we know education is not as schools in more affluent areas often have more resources, but at least that is the ideal and we should be moving more toward it instead of chipping away at it.

And yet.

As you've read about for the past 2 years: We are in a financial crunch. James might get to move to full time soon (or they're just dangling a carrot) and that will help immensely. 

But, given how things are, when the sign-ups opened, I put us on a waiting list. We were on "tier 3," which is a low priority for funding, and that was that. 

Then a couple of weeks ago, I got a notice that we'd been moved off of the waiting list and all we had to do was opt in to be funded for $2000 to spend at an online store full of approved educational items, classes, uniforms, etc. So I did. 

And now we have so many things in process, shipping, and that we've already received: a new globe (ours broke about a year ago), some STEM kits, crime scene science, space addition to our MagnaTiles, new crafting supplies like markers (I had just gone through and tested all of our markers and had thrown about 3/4 of them out) and self-stick foam sheets, a telescope, crystal-growing set, etc. etc. etc. Things that will make doing science and math easier. Some of the sets I bought are clearly meant for a small class or coop, so we'll be doing those things with our library group every so often. It's fun to be able to share!

Oh! One thing I got was a great set of magnet "toys" to do various magnet experiments. Last night, Malcolm and I spent a long time at the table stacking ring magnets on an upturned pencil so they'd hover and if you smashed them down, they'd bounce. It was very cool. D used to have the neatest magnets (I got rid of so much stuff when we moved, because I never planned to have another kid, much less homeschool again!) that I'd bought at a used curriculum fair for $5! This set was about $120, meaning I never would have bought it with my own cash money because... groceries and electricity and stuff.

So, yeah. I'm super grateful for the injection of materials our little schoolhouse is getting while still having really mixed feelings about it. It's basically like getting 1/4 of our property tax back. 

I was very surprised how much Abeka, The Good and the Beautiful, and Apologia materials I saw in this store that state funds are being used to purchase. I looked up some Spanish language supports (Malcolm has been doing Duolingo for a couple of years and is making progress) and one that  promised "Your student will speak Spanish in one year!" was called "Christ-Centered Spanish." What does that even mean?? 

Anyhoo... thanks to the great State of Texas, I suppose! My kid will be better equipped because of this.

The Agony of Defeat

A few weeks ago, I decided that it was time to replace our kitchen sink, which had been losing pressure for some time. We'd replaced it when we moved in, but it wasn't super nice to start with. We'd also replaced our garbage disposal, and it was nasty so I got one of those and figured I'd just do all of the things at once.

I got the faucet installed with no problem, but had some trouble taking the garbage disposal off, because it was all rusted and corroded, so we had trouble getting to this snap ring you have to break loose to get the base installation piece out of the sink.

Between James and me, over a few hours, we managed to get it all off and installed the garbage disposal! 

The only problem is that our old disposal was hard-wired into the electric system, and this new one (and all of the new ones) had a plug. So we did call an electrician to wire it for us. We asked about getting an outlet installed instead, since this is the standard now, but that was going to be about $450 instead of $235, so we just asked him to connect it.

In the end, he said that doing so would have invalidated the warranty on the garbage disposal, so he did install an outlet but he only charged what he'd quoted for the visit. Huzzah!

About a week later, I checked and noticed that some water was leaking under the sink. Some investigation showed that it was coming directly from the sink, from what below is labeled "sink flange."

Photo from familyhandiman.com

I pulled everything apart, reinstalled it, and it seemed to be holding tight. Great!

Fast forward to yesterday, and I told James, "I haven't checked it in a few weeks. I will just assume it's working okay.

But me being me, I did pull stuff out and felt around... and the bottom of the cabinet was damp. Not super wet, but the particleboard was swelling and it felt kind of slimy. 

"Is it time to call a plumber?" James agreed that it was.

I had to leave to take Mal somewhere, and in the meantime the plumber came out, found that the sink flange was bent, and fortunately had another one on his truck so we didn't have to buy a new disposal because I guess those single pieces are hard to find??

Later in the day, I was going through my email and saw the invoice from the plumber: IT WAS OVER $700. 

I immediately called the company, which we've used before but on big things that we knew would be expensive, and their service manager got back to me. He said that, yes, that was the price and they don't charge by the hour but by the service. He said they told James the price before they started, but I'm the one who usually does this kind of thing and if I'd been home, I would have told them no, thank you (and I'm pretty sure they would have still charged the $95 visit fee for nothing). 

I got on reddit and asked if I was crazy. People in Austin said they would expect to spend about that if they were also getting the disposal from the plumbing company, and also that this is the kind of jobs plumbers don't necessarily want to do, so they might overcharge for it to discourage having to lie at a weird angle or whatever. They suggested that next time I just get a general handyman. 

James mentioned that yes, they'd told him... and that he just was thinking about needing to get it done but that he might ought to have questioned it. Regardless, this seems egregious to me and I don't think I'm out of line. 

The service manager asked what I thought this should cost, and I said, "$250-300." He said, "Oh, yeah, we don't do anything that cheaply. We are not a sub-prime business." The general consensus on the local reddit thread was that $350 would have been reasonable. 

What's dumb is that the manager who told me that they don't charge by the hour also said, "He did spend two hours there." James then told me that the first hour was spent trying to sell us this platinum service plan. When I mentioned THAT to the service manager, he did offer to refund the $95 trip fee, and I said okay. He asked, "Will that make it better?" I said, "It will make it better, but not okay." And I was upset so I hung up on him. 

Why was I upset? 

Because I try SO HARD to steward our resources well. Obviously, I do minor home maintenance on my own when I can. I bought a couple of shirts yesterday for $5 each because a high-end store sends me a $20 gift card every year for my birthday and I go in, head straight to their clearance racks, and pick out things I'd never pay full price for. (Literally both of those shirts were originally $45-50, and there's just no way.)

Then something stupid happens like I get in an accident and have to have body work done on the car. Or a plumbing company charges us 10x what the garbage disposal cost to install it. 

James has to work almost 50 hours to pay for that repair, and that's basically two weeks' worth of work since he's still part time. We're fortunate to still have a little cushion, but what about genuinely poor or cash-strapped people who need home repair? We really need to replace a bunch of wood on our porch and get it all re-stained. It will be $7500-$10,000. We can't afford it, so we're going to end up like I did with the house in Sherman where there's so much deferred maintenance that we eventually have to sell low to an investor. 

That's why I'm SO frustrated. I cheap out on groceries; we almost never buy meat, and I always get the store brands. I look for sales. I say "no" to things all of the time. Then my stupid nickle-and-diming feels pointless when something huge like this happens that is totally outside of my control. 

That's it. I could rant all day, but I won't. You're welcome.

Cancer Scare(ier)

Two years ago when I was getting multiple biopsies to try to ascertain whether or not I had cancer in my neck, I wasn't that fussed about it. Either I did or I didn't, and if I did, then it was a simple matter of removing it surgically and maybe having some targeted iodine radiation if it looked like it had spread.

I was confident in my care team and just didn't think about it too much.

About a year after my surgery, my endocrinologist ordered a follow-up DEXA scan (to make sure my post-surgery efforts were indeed regrowing bone) and a neck ultrasound (to make sure everything was out). I told her that I simply could not afford imaging since we lost our health insurance. She understood.

I spoke with her for the second time since my surgery this week, and she said she was aware that I was unable to get imaging, but that there is also one lab that she's ordered twice and that I have not gotten since my thyroid was removed two years ago.

The reason I haven't had this test done is semi-complicated. She is sending lab requests to Quest but because I don't have insurance and instead pay out of pocket for my labs, I actually have to use a third party company (Ulta Labs). I go to their site, find the tests she wants me to have done, and buy them myself so that by the time I show up for the blood draw (Quest only charges Ulta $12 for this, and I can't see how they stay afloat!), everything's already paid for.

The issue here is two-fold: 1) The tests on the website aren't always called exactly what the doctor calls them. 2) Me. I'm the other problem. I'm not a medical professional so I'm trying to read the description of the tests and match them as closely as possible to what she wants. Stuff like a CBC with differential or a lipid panel is pretty straightforward. But is free T4 different than T4? I... don't know the answer to that and it seems like I should be an expert by now!

So... I haven't had a thyroglobulin test since my surgery. I've had several thyroglobulin antibody tests, and those have been negative (which is great; I shouldn't have Hashimoto's if I don't have a thyroid!). I thought that those tests meant we were in the clear. But no. She said neck ultrasound and thyroglobulin levels are how she makes sure we don't have a recurrence of cancer.

I finally understood and paid for the test she's been wanting all of this time. I had it done yesterday.

I'm pretty sure I'm fine, but the thought that I could have "persistent papillary thyroid cancer" (which happens in 10-30% of papillary thyroid cancer patients) hits different than it did the first time for one single reason: We no longer have health insurance.

James got laid off 5 days before my surgery in May 2024, but our coverage extended into August. It was over $60,000 and we did not pay a penny because we'd already hit our deductible for the year.

If I required further surgery and likely follow-up iodine radiation, I'm not sure what we'd do. It would be even more expensive. It would be a bankrupting-level expense.

Today at our library group, my friend pointed out that of the 48 countries represented at the World Cup, the United States is the only country that does not have universal healthcare. 

For me, the fear associated with finding out "it's back" isn't for my health. It's still a very survivable cancer. But it is how our lives would change when we were personally responsible for such an astronomical sum, especially adding in the nuclear imaging and all of the other pre-surgical stuff I had done before.

Fortunately, my lab results came back today and my thyroglobulin level is .1 which is practically zero; it will likely be 0 in another year or so. This is really good, especially since I'm no longer on a suppressing level of synthetic thyroid hormone (which I was for a year to try to prevent any residual tissue from growing).

Additionally, my surgeon is someone who has done tens of thousands of parathyroid/thyroid surgeries and I trust her completely. She took out a few lymph nodes for testing, and neither they nor my errant parathyroid were cancerous; it was just the thyroid. She said she thinks the inflammation from Hashimoto's almost made a little "wrapper" that kept the cancer isolated.

I've been fortunate. 

But it makes me mad that we're expected to rely on fortune, luck, the grace of any god, or our bootstraps to maintain our health. 

Elon Musk has just become the world's first trillionaire. No one should accumulate that much money. Especially when, if he just paid a fair share in taxes, we could absolutely use some of HIS fortune to improve the lives of hundreds of thousands of estadounidenses (I wish we had an English word for this). 

I guess keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me that it doesn't come back or that it holds out until I qualify for Medicare in 12 years! And that Medicare is still around. Also Social Security. And please vote for a candidate who aligns with your wellbeing in the next election. I mean you, non-oligarch-level-rich person. Thanks.

Why do I keep turning down work?!

As you know, we need moolah! 

Twice within the past month, I have been offered work. Paid work!

And twice I have turned it down.

WHY?

I literally applied for that job at the library. I'm not afraid of work. Believe it or not, I've worked before!

Technically, this wasn't a job; it was a volunteer thing. But I worked!

But I didn't take either of these opportunities because I realized that I really just don't have time for a steady gig right now.

The first one was something that I could have done from home, but it would have required many hours of intense concentration, and it's a challenge to get that in my house. D has a room, Mal has a room, James has an office. I do have a bedroom, but I share it with James and it's kind of open for business when anyone wants to hang out. I don't really have a space where I can put up a "do not disturb" sign and get things done. So I had to turn down the opportunity for a gig in the writing field. I just wasn't confident that I could give it my best.

Then the other one was something here in town, walkable like the library, but would require a couple of full days per week. It was flexible; I could pick what days worked for me. But we have things almost every day of the week and, ironically, I've lined up even more stuff over the summer when Mal's friends are often out of pocket, and when some things like open gym take a break until the fall. He's still young enough that I need to be around at least somewhat during the day. And James's schedule is so random that we can't plan for me to work when he's off; we never know what that will be until a couple of weeks in advance.

I guess this means we're not desperate yet? I do have three mystery shops tomorrow, which is the most I've had in one day in YEARS. We'll get three free meals, and then there are actually shopper fees on top of that. That used to be the norm, but I guess the market is such that companies can basically say, "You'll eat this free food and you'll be freaking grateful!" until they can't get jobs scheduled and are willing to throw more money at it. 

I am also doing gimmicky things like opening a new credit card to get a bunch of on-board cash for the cruise so we save $300 on gratuities. It's not income, but it prevents outgo, so that's kind of the same thing, right? And it's not taxable! Huzzah! My credit score is suffering a bit, but it will rebound.

First time for everything, and how I'm saving money now that it looks like this financial situation is permanent

About a year ago, our local library was hiring a part-time library aide. I applied, the process took months, and I never even got an interview, even though several people acted like I was going to.

Unfortunately, that employee did not work out and got fired just before the holidays. 

I'd learned that he apparently had gotten the job because he was able to do tech support and explain computer stuff to the library patrons. Knowing that, I brushed up my resume to include a WAY BACK job from more than 25 years ago where I... provided tech support to casinos and other clients in Las Vegas.

This time, at least, I got an interview. I hadn't heard anything when we left on vacation (two months after I'd applied, and several weeks after my interview), but when we got back, I saw a social media post and knew immediately that someone had been hired.

I feel like this person is a better fit, but I'm kind of bummed because we could have used the money, part time as it was. Plus, I could walk to work. I am not ready to get a job where I'd need to 1) buy a car and 2) leave Mal in a town alone. 1431 closes down too often, and I am not ready to make an 11-year-old responsible for navigating a forest fire or no electricity when it's 100 degrees out.

Incidentally, I might never have had this worry but in 2021 when we had a bad freeze, there was a guy from across the highway who ran into Cedar Park to check on his jewelry storefront and by the time he tried to get back home, the road was closed and troopers would not let him through, even though he explained that his 10-year-old was home alone. Our electricity went out and the roads were impassable for days. I have no idea how that turned out but I would like to avoid that situation.

So, the "first time for everything": I have gotten every job I have ever really wanted. I have even been told no, they weren't going to go with me and then came back to them with something my dad (an HR specialist) mentioned they did wrong in the interview and rather than deal with a lawsuit, they did end up hiring me. They also tried to frame me for theft, but I outsmarted them (on accident, which I guess isn't "smart" per se but just fortunate that I was as pragmatic as I was and didn't use or take home the key they gave me one day because I never needed it).

For an overachiever like me, a job rejection hurts. I can't imagine the dozens of times James went through it over the past two years. Ugh.

NOW. 

I've been poor before, and while we're not in crisis yet, I want to avoid that. Our expenses outpace what James makes by quite a bit. So here are some things I'm scaling back on that I've done before when money wasn't plentiful:

1) We're back to Supercuts or Great Clips. I'm very lucky that my hair got wavy because it's easier to cut and style now! So it's $25 cuts instead of $60-80 cuts for me. James never gets his hair (except that time I had a mystery shop specifically for a man's salon where they do face massages and stuff; it was cool!) and D pays their own stylist, so it's just Mal and me, and we both get our hair trimmed about every 9 months. 

2) No more boutique food splurges. Piroshky Piroshky is a fabulous bakery out of Seattle. They travel down to Austin once a year or so, and we used to order $100ish worth of items from them to enjoy for a week or so. No more. Same thing with Doughees (which seems to be closed, anyway, but from which I used to order once or twice a year), Fat and Weird Cookies, and any food subscription period. Instead, I try recipes I find online and have recently made conchas for the first time, and a big old cookie with chocolate chunks and caramel chunks. I'm thinking about making an Easter basket cake for Easter. We're not buying expensive treats anymore.

3) I'm not getting energy drinks, even as a splurge. They're $1-2 per can (more usually, but I only got them on sale even when I was buying them). Instead, I get Great Value Energy Drink Mix, which is just under $.20 per serving. What's crazy is that Celsius sells a powdered drink mix but it's still over $1 per serving! Stop!

4) I would grab take-out for the whole family once a week or so, and I have just stopped doing that. Maybe once a month now? But usually, I'm just cooking... unless Domino's has half price pizza and then only Mal and I are usually at all excited about that. With James and D often working full days, I'm having to do lunches, too. D would just suffer without at-work calories, but James works near a bunch of food options, so we're trying to prevent temptation (it helps that his lunch is only half an hour and honestly, it's hit or miss whether you can get a full meal from Whataburger in that time frame).

5) We're definitely cutting back on our trips now that we're back from Mexico. We can't make up the $20k a year I'd have made if I'd gotten the library job, but we can recover a chunk of it by reining this in for a while. I'll be on the lookout for sales and deals, of course. But we'll be staying closer to home for a bit.

One good thing in that regard is that one of Mal's friends moved into our neighborhood earlier this year, and they're having a great time running around being big kids. Yesterday, they'd gone on a walk and when they came back, I was surprised to see a third friend with them... she lives on the other side of the lake, and I was very confused about how she'd joined them, but apparently her parents had driven her over. Having home and the 'hood be a social outlet makes staying home even more appealing.

6) I stopped taking Minoxidil a few months ago. I'd started it when I was losing a LOT of hair, I thought because of perimenopause? I was just going to take it until I'd gotten through to menopause. But what I realized is that I was probably losing hair because of hyperparathyroidism, which I don't have anymore, thanks to surgery 2 years ago.

I went through this whole cycle of when I started taking it, my hair barely shedded! I started having baby hair, and that was a drama. Then after about a year, my hair started falling out at what I'd say was a "normal" rate, and I wondered about whether the meds were still working. I changed to a topical rather than a pill, and I was still losing some hair. So I decided that I could save $175 every 5 months by just stopping and see if maybe now that my hair is wavy, I could absorb some hair loss without it being so shocking. 

I had what I think was an extinction burst where I lost A LOT of hair but now it's stabilized and it's fine. Plus, I've had a lot of talks with myself about how I got to a place of body neutrality where I don't feel like I need to do anything about my weight. I don't wear much makeup (saw a video of me from a few years ago yesterday and it seemed weird that I had eye shadow on!). I dress how I want to. So why was I so caught up in the hair loss, which is also a normal part of aging? I guess I'm just a hypocrite.

Ha ha. Here's a picture of money. I posted it because I was trying to think of something to go with this theme, which is... money. And also, last night Mal was showing James something on his iPad and accidentally dropped it on his face, knocking a baby tooth loose that wasn't ready to come out before. But it's probably going to happen pretty soon! He's currently trying to save money to buy a $80-ish LEGO Star Wars set. This is another change; he's going to have to save up for it on his own because he has so many LEGOs already and we just can't chip in this time. Wish him luck!

Year-later endocrinologist follow-up, with bonus gynecology content!

I met with my endocrinologist today for the first time since my surgery. She told me that I needed to get a neck ultrasound ASAP, as I really should have gotten one pretty soon after the surgery. I wish I'd known because I had insurance until the end of August 2024! Now I'm applying for the Travis County Medical Access Program.

Also, the doctor mentioned that the medication I'm taking is actually lower than my weight would dictate I need, so she's wondering if that means part of my thyroid was left. I definitely hope not, because that would mean another surgery. I know there was a lot of inflammation, and I know guts look a lot alike so I suppose that anything is possible.

This wasn't a lot of fun when I had insurance, but I wasn't worried about the finances at all. If I have to do it again, it's going to suck, but it will suck a lot more than it did when I didn't have to stress over every penny (or tens of thousands of dollars).

To review, here's what I had done: Neck ultrasounds (one in an imaging place, two at my endocrinologist's office, and one in the surgeon's office), two sets of biopsies, a DEXA scan for bone loss, multiple labs measuring PTH and Vitamin D, a 24-hour urine test (the worst part of the experience by a wide margin), a nuclear scan (two+ hour procedure), a pre-op visit with the surgeon, the surgery and overnight in a surgical hospital, post-op with surgeon, more labs, and now prescription forever.  

Also, my regular doctor wants me to see a gynecologist because of some menopause stuff that isn't like "I feel weird" but like "that shouldn't happen and you need to get it looked at." And actually, I feel fine. It's hard to worry much when you don't feel off, but that's how it was with my hyperparathyroidism and Hashimoto's, so I know my body likes to hide dysfunction from my feelers.

I'm hoping if we get approved for the MAP, then I can stop obsessing over find the cheapest care for each specialty.

I hate healthcare being tied to a job.

My friend Adrienne told me that she doesn't care if I have to go into medical debt to take care of myself, so if that happens I'm just putting all of my medical providers on notice that Adrienne in Las Vegas (kind of) assured me it would be JUST FINE. You'll get $200 a month for the rest of my life, so I guess you'd better do a good job to make sure that I'm going to be around to pay it for a long time.

When you see it visualized like this, it seems like it wouldn't be any big deal to get the thyroid out! But also... that she removed the thyroid but kept 3 of my parathyroid glands in there is pretty unbelievable.

I always used to say...

 ... Back when I was married to someone else, that if my ex-husband ever died, I would get fat, and I'd get an RV. Over time, I added that I'd also get another tattoo. 

Well, apparently, it didn't take a death. It only took a decoupling. 

The first thing I did was to get an RV. And I LOVED it!

Me loving my RV so hard.
(Thanks, Gabrielle, for the photoshoot...
14 years ago!)

As you can tell by that older photo above, I'm also bigger than I was back in that day. It took a long time for me to get comfortable with my body, but it has helped to have a partner who is very comfortable with it. I mean, if I'd remained single, I probably would have been fine with it, as well... it's just that being married to someone who views your body with suspicion and expects it to disappoint if you're not constantly managing it makes just living a normal life pretty impossible. In the words of Madeye Moody, "Constant vigilance" and all that. It's exhausting. (Also: JK Rowling, p-tooey.)

Then, not only did I get another tattoo; I've gotten three more, including 2 since I turned 50! And I got my nose pierced!

To my complementarian/"servant leader head of the family" ladies, I will say: Bodily autonomy is incredible, and you should really try it.

I've been thinking about this a lot as we consider our financial future in the days of massive layoffs across the country, and the seemingly decreasing likelihood of James finding a "career-level" job in tech (which he's honestly fine with; but it seems like the Leander Independent School District doesn't want a tech bro as a night janitor, either).

We're looking at selling the house and moving out of the country. We're looking at selling the house, getting an RV, and moving across the Rural Market road. Or out of Texas, as James thinks if we're going to get rid of the house, we should GO.

Mal loves the idea of living in an RV. James is okay with it, too. In other words, I don't have to wait for him to die before considering things I'd enjoy... 

... Although, if James weren't around, I might consider cutting my hair a lot shorter. He has said that it's my hair and I can do whatever I want with it, of course; but I also know he likes longer hair (on everyone, not just me) so I'm keeping it. For now. 

On Automobiles and more grousing about spending money like we're rich

A couple of months ago, I mentioned that the drive train might be going out in one of our vehicles. Fortunately, that was not the case. It was just that the rotors were rusted so it kind of felt like driving with the brakes partially engaged.

We got that fixed to the tune of something like $1500, felt lucky about that, then three days after we got the car home, the "check engine" light came on. It went back out, we thought we were getting a reprieve, but then it came back on.

That tine, it was the emissions system. Everything physically was working okay, but we had to replace a sensor and get a firmware update, which was another $700ish.

NOW... when Mal and I were coming home yesterday, my car overheated. I pulled into QuikTrip to buy some coolant, then I called James to come follow me to the garage. I drove slowly, with the windows down and the heater way up, idling at stop lights, and made it to the garage without the car heating up again.

Apparently, I managed to keep it from damaging the radiator but a few things needed repair: the thermostat, the radiator cap neck (which melted a bit from the heat and prevents the cap from staying securely on), a cool flush, and an oil change... for just under $1000.

But, oops, when they were taking some bolts off, the bolts broke and fell into the housing, which has to be replaced. They're not charging us extra labor for that, but the housing is another $400.

Like, I'm buying stuff that's $.50 off the usual price trying to make our money last longer (which I do when James is working, but we also have money coming in, unlike now) but we just keep having to spend thousands of dollars... on repairs, on our auto insurance renewal (and, of course, the price went up because of a $700 claim), our city's water company started charging more (they should!).

James said he's averaged applying for about 10 jobs per week since he got laid off. That's well over 500 applications. I've applied for jobs and have been told I'll be invited in for an interview at one, but that was weeks ago so I'm not holding my breath. 

I will say that I'm having some luck at cobbling together side gigs like mystery shopping, marketing research, and now I'm getting into pet-sitting (kind of). 

What's kind of funny, though, is that I'm trying to get Mal to take some classes next semester to learn how to skate or swim or other stuff. And that would cost money. But I guess we're lucky because Mal says he teaches himself his own skills, so he declines. 

Speaking of Mal... He had 2 teeth pulled the last time he went under anesthesia for dental work in April 2023 and we were told at the time that it might be years until he lost more teeth. It was! However, in the past 10 days, he's lost 3 molars! And another one is loose. 

He still hasn't lost his canines, which feels wrong. But his mouth is a wonderland of weirdness, anyway.

They wanted to do braces pretty quickly, and he'll probably still need them eventually;
but his teeth have moved on their own A LOT in the past 2 years!

UPDATE: After I posted this, Mal lost his second molar of the day!!

UPDATE 2: It ended up being just over $1800. Le sigh. 

What's one little drive train among friends, really?

Remember how we had our dishwasher unclogged right before we went to Louisiana? It's clogged again and making the absolute worst metallic-sounding noise. The same guy is coming out to look at it this evening. Maybe. I'm getting "ghost" vibes from them, so we'll see.

Furthermore, one of our cars has been running rough... I guess; I don't drive it, but going by D's description, the mechanic said, "It sounds like it could be the drive train." Perfect. They have the car so I get to take D to work the next few mornings. I'm up, anyway, but I don't usually have to drive in morning traffic so that will be a fun time.

You know how they say that youth is wasted on the young? Well, I guess you could say that money is wasted on the old, but you won't have to worry about that with us! We're spending our retirement savings on near-constant break-downs. 

Everybody's Working... (except for James)

As I mentioned in the last post, it's not officially been a year since James got laid off. (And now it's been a year since I had parathyroid and thyroid surgery!)

Actually, right this moment, everyone else in the house is working at least a little bit!

D's been working retail coming up on 2 years. They work D A LOT for a "part time" employee, and I have all sorts of opinions about that (like that D deserves full benefits, a raise, and hours lumped together instead of 4 hours every day of the week) but it's not my job or my business. I'm just proud of D for sticking it out at as long as they have! I don't think I ever stayed at a job for 2 years until I started working for Terra West as a divorced lady.

I've been doing mystery shops, some in-person research stuff, and online surveys. We couldn't live on it, but it's something to do for "fun" money every now and then.

Even Mal is chipping in! He did one online survey video call thing about a year ago, he did a mystery shop with me a few months ago, and he just got off of a call here he commented on some educational products that are under development. 

I don't think I posted this before, but here's what I got out of the mystery shop he helped me do:

He got $20 and I got a free photo that people pay a minimum of $200 for! Win/win.

In the meantime, the money James earned and saved is getting us through this. I hope he feels a little of the pressure off of him from our input. 

Now I have to go transfer some money into Mal's account to pay for the discussion he just completed!

Good NEWS!

 ...No one is dead, though, so don't worry.

You might have read my last post. It's been a crazy couple of weeks.

Today, Informed Delivery told me that I would be getting a piece of mail from my mortgage lender. I was hopeful that it was an updated escrow calculation, because I'd just looked last week to see that our payment amount changed last year in May and knew we were getting close to that time.

I was excited because we had finally managed to merge our three lots last year (after asking about it in 2018 and being denied due to a snafu, then thinking it was impossible until someone recommended I try doing it in 2023 when I was protesting our value -- as I have every year).

WELL, I was right. That's what it was. And the good news is that our monthly payment is going down by $350! We're within $200 of what the original payment was, before property values soared, then we refinanced it and got it down a bit, and then it went way up again. I'm grateful. This will be a huge break for us.

BUT what I was not expecting was... A FAT REFUND CHECK FROM LAST YEAR.

I suppose that makes sense: We underpay and we have to make it up. But I guess I just assumed they'd keep the overage in escrow to pay next year's. 

Oh my gosh, what a giant relief.

It covers the car, all of the maintenance guys, and the trip we're taking very soon.

But don't worry; I'm not going to get too big for my britches.

Even as I opened this up to write this awesome post, the keyboard on my laptop stopped working, so this is how I'm managing at the moment:

It is always something, is it not??

Still... a pretty uplifting afternoon, all things considered.

Mo' problems... Less money

AS YOU KNOW, with James out of work, we've been taking it easy on the cash outflow side. But the past two weeks has just conspired against us!

First. the week before last I had not one but two fender-benders. Well, the first one was actually just that I pulled up at a stop and a tow hitch went through one of my headlights. I bought a new one and was going to put it in myself, but then I had a side-swipe event and had to get a couple of panels banged out, anyway, so I had that guy put the new fixture in. $$$$

 

Then the other night, our dishwasher stopped draining. I couldn't see anything wrong with it, so we had a plumber come out yesterday. He said that everything was fine, plumbing-wise, so we needed to get an appliance repair person. He also said that we need a new garbage disposal, and estimated that he could replace it for the low low cost of $700. No thanks. We'll get a cheap one and find some dude to install it. Anyhoo. $$

Today, an appliance guy came out and fixed the dishwasher. He told me that I kinked something up when I took it apart to clean it, then showed me the only two pieces I should ever take off... which are the only 2 pieces I ever take off. Granted, I'd taken more of the drain assembly apart yesterday, seeing if I could clear the drain myself. But until that day, when it already WAS NOT DRAINING, I'd never touched anything but the spray arm and the filter. Sigh. WHATEVER. $$

AND TONIGHT AT 6 PM, I just noticed I felt a little warm. I looked at the thermostat... and it was blank. I did a couple of things, like turning the breakers on and off, and adding batteries to the thermostat... which did make it come on, but when I turned the air on, it showed that it was going but it was not. Breakers again. 

I called our a/c people, and they're coming out tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I went to see if the drain line might be clogged. We've had thermostat issues like that in the past when the drain line was clogged. We clean it monthly, and I'd just done it recently. But I did it again, and I put our shop vac on the clean-out and blew in case there was blockage. It didn't seem like there was.

A couple of hours later, the a/c came back on and that probably means that it was frozen up and needed to defrost. We're keeping the service call because they can pull codes and see what happened. It shouldn't be freezing up; it's been in the mid-80s for the past couple of days, but nothing terrible. We'll see how much it is, but let's just say $$.

DID I SAY "SIGH" YET??

Remembering Sondra and Jude

In 2018, I got off of Facebook for mental health reasons, and it worked! Unfortunately, I have missed some major life events in the lives of people I consider dear friends. I'm going to tell you about two of these people.

Sondra, Jude, and I met (along with others like Jennifer, Jade, Amy, Stacy, Liz, Angela, April, and Aura) on a Yahoo! Groups page dedicated to Rockapella in the late 1990s. I have SO MANY stories I could tell you about the Rockapella days, but we're going to stay on track here, starting with Sondra.

Sondra lived in the midwest and had been in a small orbit of the town she grew up in her whole life. She was several years older than I was (I remember feeling weird when she turned 40 as I was still freshly into my 30s), and had worked at a big box retailer her whole adult life. She lived in an apartment over a convenience store, that also had a view of a major waterway. 

Sondra was a photographer and loved doing portraits and candid shots of friends and family. She would also capture unusual boats coming down the river by her apartment. She had an old cat she loved very much.

Her family had been through a lot, including the death of her mother when she was young, and the loss of a house to a fire before she lived independently. She adored her father, and was close to her sisters and their families. She loved kids so much, though she never had any herself.

At some point during my late 20s, Rockapella was coming through Las Vegas, where I lived at the time. A lot of people I'd only met online were coming into town to see them, but Sondra couldn't because she didn't have the money. I knew that not having money was a recurring theme in her life.

We didn't have a lot of money, but this was pre-kids, so I figured that I could swing the airfare and get her a ticket when I bought mine. I floated the idea, and she thought about it. She'd never been on a plane, much less traveled that far from home and alone.

After talking to her family, who discouraged Sondra from visiting me because I might be a man and regardless would probably kill her and bury her in my back yard (remember, this was before it was normalized to try to meet people you'd only interacted with online), Sondra decided to come out!

We had a great time! I think my ex-husband didn't want to deal with anything remotely related to Rockapella, so he left town for a few days (I had and still have no idea where he went, and honestly couldn't be bothered to think about it at all). I had just found out I was pregnant, and was a little nauseated and sleepy most of the time, but we went to the Fremont Street Experience (when it was new), bummed around on The Strip, spent time with my family (she was enamored with my niece Hannah), and chatted a lot.

I did not kill her nor did I bury her (alive or otherwise) in the back yard.

Several times during the week, she "spoke" online with the aforementioned Jude, another Rockapella fan she'd started to kind of long-distance date. They were super cute, but I also remember one night being just beat and ill and lying on the couch, grateful that she had something besides me to occupy her. But she was having so much fun chatting that she kept yelling to keep me apprised of their back-and-forth.

Sondra and Jude had a lot in common. Although they were only a few years older than I am, they were both old souls. They loved Lucy and other contemporary television series. I guess an acapella vocal band is kind of old-school. But they were both sort of unimpressed with more modern entertainment, and really bonded over nostalgia. 

So... I thought it might be neat to post the one picture I have that Sondra took of her and me at Red Rock Canyon, and I don't have it anymore. Not to go on too bleak of a tangent, but I'm not kidding when I say that my ex-husband hated anything to do with Rockapella. At some point, I think I got rid of anything remotely related to that in order to try to "save" a marriage that was never going to be fixed.

After the concert and meeting so many new faces who would go on to be long-term friends, Sondra flew back home. That trip gave her the confidence to make plans to go see Jude in person. They saved up for a long time. She worked in retail, and he worked at a local grocery store.

Jude lived in Louisiana. I probably got to know him better than I would have otherwise because of our mutual friendship with Sondra. He was a little sillier and more light-hearted than she was, though he'd certainly seen his fair share of adversity. One of his two brothers had died pretty young. Like Sondra, he had grown up and remained working-class. 

I do have pictures of both of them, from a cheesy pre-Photoshop (to me, anyway; apparently PS was already 13 years old at this point) thing I made to hype Sondra up for her trip. I scoured the internet for pictures of them separately and did... well, this monstrosity.

 

Over the years, Sondra visited Jude a few times and he might have gone to see her once. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but they eventually split up and it came out that Jude was gay. When we spoke, he insisted that he'd told Sondra "exactly what I am" from the beginning and either she didn't fully believe him, or thought love could "fix" things.

Jude and I actually got closer after this, because at least one member of Sondra's family had reached out to him and been very accusatory and chastising. She told Jude that he was bad to break Sondra's heart and that he needed to change his ways or he'd end up in hell. 

First, I thought Jude was a stand-up guy and I liked him. Second, I unknowingly dated 2 gay guys in high school, and I could totally empathize with him in a way that I wish I'd had my "gaydar" up and could have empathized with the young men I dated. But it made sense: Sondra was a woman, like me, whose femininity isn't performed over the top. And having a long-distance girlfriend/fiance is very comfortable for a man who cannot, for whatever myriad of reasons, live a fully authentic life.

I knew that Jude had loved Sondra in his way (the same way I think the guys I dated cared about me and had no intention of hurting me). And I knew that he didn't deserve to be attacked or condemned by someone who had maybe only ever met him one time.

As time passed, of course our Yahoo! Group slowed and shut down. Everyone was on Facebook, so that's where we kept up with each other. Less frequently, of course, as we all matured and had busier IRLs. 

One day, Sondra was at work and this guy she'd gone to high school with turned up. He was expressly looking for her (they were both well into their 40s at this point). He told her that he'd had a crush on her and very quickly asked her to marry him.

He was a kind and generous guy who ended up telling her that she could quit the retail job she had hated for three decades to concentrate on her photography. They still lived in her little apartment over the store, and they seemed very happy.

One thing I noticed about Sondra, though, was her predisposition to kind of having a "Debbie Downer" way about her. Maybe she always did, but as I loosened up, I saw it more .There was a time or two she'd comment on something I put on Facebook and be negative about it in a way that got on my nerves. I sniped back a time or two, and we'd go for a while without communicating, but we were still always friendly.

Jude went on with his life and started to come out of the closet a bit, at least online and kind of away from his home circles. I never asked too much, but he seemed like he was happy enough, just that he wished he could find someone for a real relationship instead of someone who was just looking to use for whatever. 

After 2018, I pretty much lost touch with both of them. I do sometimes check in on old friends to see what I can see from their public profiles. In 2023, I sadly put together that Sondra had been in treatment for cancer during the second half of 2022. She had posted something like, "I am hopefully going home tomorrow. I miss my cat! It's going to be hard learning how to live with diabetes and heart disease alone with the cancer, but I'm taking one day at a time."

She never made it home. 

I scrolled through hers and her husband's profiles. It looks like she'd had a great support system, with the volunteer fire department holding a benefit to raise money to help with her medical expenses. I am so sorry that she's gone. She was still in her 50s. I never met nor interacted with her husband, but I hope he continues to be happy and do well.

One of the last times I interacted with Jude, he was telling me that his phone had just died and he didn't have any money for a new one. That's how he was using apps to meet like-minded folks in the area, and it really cut him off from a social window that was hard to come by. 

James had just upgraded his phone (which was rare; we don't usually get a new phone until an old one dies, but he'd done a lot of research on PlusOne and had to make the leap). so I asked Jude if he wanted James's old phone. We sent it to him and made sure he got it up and running. It never occurred to me to tell him to grab my phone number while he was setting it up.

We're going to Louisiana soon, and I thought it might be cool to finally put a face with the name and voice I have for Jude. I figured I could find him on FB and try to send him a message, but I was surprised with how many people have his name. I googled his name and city, and found... his obituary. He just died last year, from complications of diabetes. He was 55.

Aside from the normal sadness that comes with having friends die, I firmly believe that ZIP codes and household incomes growing up have a lot to do with the fact that I'm still alive and my friends are not That part makes me mad. I don't know what to do about that, so I'm just sitting with it for the moment.

I do take comfort in the fact that Jude, too, had a support system. There was a barbecue fundraiser for him a few years ago to help raise money for his medical expenses.

Both of my friends were well-loved.

Both of them had to raise funds for their medical care, though, which is extremely cruel and should offend anyone who believes that life is sacred,. Access to preventative and ongoing care should be a human right. If you don't believe that, then you are one of the reasons my friends are gone from this earth much too soon. They worked hard. They simply could not afford the care that they needed to ward off problems before they started, nor to combat disease once they were ill. 

And so I remember them both with sadness that our system works like this, but with a heart full of beautiful, complicated memories. I'm better for having known both of them.

...

OH! And I just remembered: I don't think my ex-husband knew that Sondra never paid me back for that airline ticket. I lied out my ass about it, because it was one of my little rebellions. So if you are reading this, sir... well, I won't type it in case my mom comes across this post.

Muscle Memory

Oh, yes, the days of having to scrimp and save and build margins where there are no margins... I apparently remember it well.

I might have mentioned how much the Lago Vista Friday food giveaway has helped us this past year. It's truly been invaluable. 

 

Sometimes we go and our number is picked pretty early; that's when we end up with hauls like the ones pictured above. Other times, our number is later and we get a few carrots and some bread... but it's still free food! Also, I anticipate late spring and summer will feature the return of produce in a quantity that isn't there during the winter.

Furthermore, I've gotten back into mystery shopping. I have done a couple of jobs, have a few more scheduled (including one at a portrait studio where Mal has to be the subject... and he's getting the pay for that one! He has his eye on some action figures that he wants), and am picking up random gigs here and there.

Yesterday, for instance, after we dropped Mal off at school, James and I went to have blood drawn for a medical trial. We each got $45 for that!

And tomorrow I'm doing an online marketing focus group for an hour for $150.

It's not James's "career-level" money, but every little bit offsets something on the other end.

Also, we're trying to think of other streams of income we might be able to create.

Whatever, it seems like we might be in this season of unemployment for a hot minute.

Now we just need to see some prices come down. So who wants to work on that?

Austerity Measures

Back in the day, when I lived in Sherman and had much more time than money, I clipped coupons. The local Kroger would double coupons up to $.50 and it would triple coupons up to $.35 (so that was the BEST coupon to have!). I'd shop on Wednesday morning as soon as the store opened, and the specials from the past week's circular AND the new week's circular were still in effect. 

In this manner, I made do with $75 per week for groceries for a family of 3.

Over time, paper coupons weren't worth the newspaper subscription. As we got busier and were able to be a little less fussed with cost, I came to value my time more and started doing eMeals for weekly menu planning, and just bought what was on that list. It helped me save money, having a plan, but it was less of an on-the-fly kind of planning I'd done before, and it was a time-saver.

Once eMeals integrated with shopping apps and I could just pop my list over to Walmart and have it show up on my doorstep within 24 hours (we have In-Home, so we don't have to tip... but it's not as fast as Walmart+ Door Dash delivery). 

Well, it's been MONTHS since James got laid off. Grocery prices do not seem to want to drop at all. Tariffs are about to make things even more expensive! 

So I decided to try a little experiment and -- gasp! -- go to a grocery store. 

This morning, I got up just as the stores were opening, and I arrived at a Randall's by about 6:40. It was good I hadn't knocked down the door, because they were just starting to do daily mark-downs at that time.

I went through the store a couple of times, and ended up with enough stuff both to make all of our meals for the week (with some help from our pantry and some produce James and D got for free last night at the Lago Vista food giveaway), and some "snacky" kinds of things Mal likes (granola bars, yogurt, pudding) for $65ish. 

In Sherman, I'd aim to save 33% on my shopping trips. Today, I saved 48%!

Some of the biggest wins were: berries are all buy one/get one free. Brownie mix is usually $3 and was on sale for $1. I found 1/2 price yogurt cups, plus had digital coupons for them in the app. I got a pound of ground turkey for $2 and 3 pork chops (bone-in) for just under $3. The only thing I bought that wasn't either on sale, expiring and marked down, on clearance, or had a coupon, was 5 pounds of flour, which I needed and which, at $2.79, was one of the most expensive things I purchased.

When I got home, I browned all of the turkey because it was already looking sad. I added some seasoning, then put half of it in the refrigerator. I took the other half, added half a bag of shelled edamame and two diced carrots, and made some "peppery bacon" mac and cheese James had gotten for free at the giveaway months ago.

It was delicious, and enough food for the three grown-ups in the house (Mal is always the wild card; he doesn't like mixed flavors, and so I have to make sure we have fruit, chicken nuggets, and yogurt to keep him happy). 

I also made this lentil "meat" loaf recipe that I'd sent my parents, because another thing James got last night was red bell pepper. We had everything else (except the celery), and I just wanted something around for everyone to eat or make sandwiches out of, so I don't have to cook again until Monday.

Then I prepared one of the two boxes of brownie mixes that I'd bought. I used the "flax seed egg" mixture mentioned in the lentil loaf recipe, because at this point, flax seed is cheaper than eggs. So unless the egg is acting like an egg (scrambled, boiled, crepes, creme anglaise, etc.), it's going to be flax! You do have to make sure that you cook whatever you put it in, as people have gotten botulism from raw flax seed. 

Anyhoo... it's been a throwback, and not a bad way to spend my morning. 

We're not in trouble yet, but there's no harm in reeling things in a little bit. If Mal were as good an eater as D was at his age, this would be a lot easier! I might have to start asking him to take a "yes/no" bite of everything that I make, to see if he can develop a wider taste palate.

A Note About a Thing that Happened Today (and why my house might smell like ozone)

We had our biannual HVAC check today. As the guy was looking at the attic half of our heat pump, he noticed some "organic growth" (mildew) on the unit. He took a very blurry picture, but you'll get the idea:

The solution is to install this UV light system both on this unit and the other half, so they work together. We could do just one or just the other, and neither was cheap. But there was a small price break for doing both. It really seemed like a no-brainer. Not something we actually wanted to do, but, ya know... homeownership!

Anyhoo, James and I were both talking to the tech, and asking questions. Once we got to the end, I looked at James and asked, "What do you think?" 

Folks, my man looked straight at me and said, in front of God and the a/c tech, "You're in charge of the money, so it's up to you."

When I tell you how many years of trauma that undid for me, please understand that I'm not exaggerating or overstating it in any way.

If you have a man who isn't confident enough to hype you up like that, then I am very sorry for you. I've been there.

I hadn't planned to spend hundreds of dollars on a heat pump repair, but even so... pretty good day. Pretty pretty pretty good.

Public Assistance

James does have a severance package, but it's taking a long time to process... apparently because in addition to the normal "review the paperwork and make sure you're not going to sue us" waiting period, since James is 50+, there's additional time to make sure he's not going to sue them for ageism. 

In the meantime (and, honestly, until James gets another job), we're tightening our belts and trying not to buy anything we don't need to buy. We've been really fortunate so far the past month...

First, Leander Independent School District has free lunches for kids. We've only gone twice, but one meal a week is still better than nothing. They also have breakfast, but that's only from 8-9 AM, which is way early for us! Mal actually tried nachos for the first time and found that he loves nacho cheese (not the spicy kind, of course). Granted, it's not Brussels sprouts, but any new food is good, as far as I'm concerned! He did try a carrot the other day when I was making dinner, and decided it's not for him. I was proud that he tried, though! This is much better than turning up his nose at food he thinks he's not going to enjoy.

Second, a woman in Lago Vista (who must be a saint) goes to south Austin every week and picks up a thousand pounds of food to distribute to at-risk households in Lago. She always ends up with a whole lot of food left over, and so she opens it up to the public on Friday afternoons. For the past two weeks, we've been able to get produce, bread, and some pantry items. It's hit or miss what will be available at all, and they hand out numbers then draw so the order is random. But the first week, James got big bags of walnuts and hazelnuts, dried split beans, rice, everything bagels, cheese bread, apples, a cantaloupe, a mango... And yesterday, we got probably $30 worth of bread (we were close to the end and no one had claimed a bunch of it; most of it is in the freezer), butter lettuce, apples, onions, cinnamon raisin bagels, corn on the cob, and some other stuff. Both weeks, I think we've been able to get enough food to feed a single adult for a week, assuming that adult had some pantry items like salt, seasonings, and maybe butter or oil. It's very kind of her, and I know takes up a lot of her time and effort. 

Waiting to get our shot at some gratis groceries!

Third, I've been getting stuff through the app "Too Good to Go," where businesses sell food they'd otherwise discard at the end of the business day. It tends to be about 1/3 of the price of what you'd pay retail, and we've really enjoyed it. We got two bags from Whole Foods prepared food department last weekend that had amazing sandwiches and salads... one of the ciabatta sandwiches was marked $13.99 and we only paid $10 per bag, where the sandwich was about 1/5 of the contents! We got some great bowls from Honest Mary's last week. I got 4 TacoDeli bean, potato, and cheese breakfast tacos from a coffee shop for $3.99; they're $3.50 a piece on the TacoDeli website!

We're not hard up just yet, but it's kind of fun putting my former necessity-based frugality into action!

The Rich Get Richer

One last thing before we get off of the subject of my glandular heave-homent:

This whole thing started because we had insurance (have, until the end of this month). Since we have insurance that fully pays for annual check-ups, I've gotten bloodwork done every year for the past 5 years. There have been some things, like low whole blood, that required some looking into but were determined to be nothing. 

But in January 2023, I had high parathyroid hormone level as well as high calcium. Those two things both being elevated is an automatic diagnosis of hyperparathyroidism, and the only way to treat it is surgery. 

Getting referred to a good surgeon led to the suspicion and diagnosis of Hashimoto's disease, and all of that resulted in my having my thyroid and one parathyroid removed.

What had already happened was that I have experienced some bone loss (would be characterized as "osteopenia" if I were post-menopausal), and that I was frequently eliminating cloudy liquid as my poor little kidneys tried to flush the excess calcium out of my blood.

What could have happened was hypothyroidism, and any of several more advanced autoimmune disorders like Crohn's, Grave's, or lupus. I also could have had permanent nerve damage at my extremities due to wonky calcium levels. I could have fractured my hip. 

But I didn't.

We knew what was going on because I had access to adequate, thorough health care. Through James's work. Which he doesn't have now.

I went most of D's life without insurance and, consequently, we only went to the doctor's office when there was something overtly wrong. But in this case, if I'd waited until possible symptoms of thyroid disease had presented themselves, my body would have definitely been worse for the wear.

So I'm grateful.

I don't know what's going to happen in terms of our insurance after the COBRA stipend runs out. Tech employment is rough right now. But I do know that everyone deserves preventative care (in addition to acute care, obviously). Why is that a controversial ideal?

Holes

A lot of my sock have holes in them. Not tears, but actual holes. Places that have broken apart before, and I've sewed them, and a micrometer to one side or the other, they've burst open again. They're pretty old. I should replace them. But I don't. Why?

The other day, I was getting dressed when I dropped something. I leaned over to pick it up and James said, "Wait a minute... there's something..." and walked over to me to see what was going on with my drawers. I already knew. "It's a hole," I said. "Remember I told you I needed to buy some more?" WHY DON'T I?

This happened a few years ago when all of our towels were unraveled and messy; but they still did the thing, which is drying us off. It was a trial for me to bite the bullet and just get new towel sets.

We are not poverty-stricken. But James and I both grew up in homes where we didn't have much extra beyond what we needed. I hadn't thought about how that might affect my attitudes toward replacing daily-use items until he mentioned it this weekend. I'd asked, "I don't know how rich I'd have to be before I stopped feeling icky about spending money." He said he didn't think either of us would ever feel that way and tied it to our respective youths. He's probably right.

Here is a holeless sock. Is it monogrammed for me??

Edited 1/20/24 to add: Also, James's car's trunk handle is broken so to get into the trunk, we have to pull down the seats inside the car. And my car's driver side door handle is broken, so to get out, I have to roll down the window and open the door from the outside. WHY don't we get these things fixed? Just feels like a lot of work! And expense. And we are working around it, so... *shrug*

Did I Tell You About the Car?

A couple of months ago, we said goodbye to our white Fiat 500L. It had been mal- or non-functioning for months, and in the shop for several weeks prior to that. We decided at the time to see how we'd do with just one car, since James is still able to work from home and D doesn't have a job yet.

So far, it hasn't been too bad.

James has had to carpool with us on Sunday mornings, adding a little complication to his formerly carefree Sunday brunches. He just drops us off at the McDonald's where Mal meets his friend to play every week, then picks us up. Mal's friend went to California for a few weeks last month, so James got to relive his carefree dual car days. 

We've taken a Lyft at least once (Mal hates it; he says he doesn't trust the drivers). D has needed to get somewhere last-minute when James was out buying groceries. Besides that, though, it hasn't been bad.

Plus, when we added D to our insurance, the premium doubled! I thought it might not be as bad since D was 21 instead of 16. However, when we took the second car off, the price halved, so we're back to our "normal" premium.

A few weeks ago, I had the idea to try to get to my parents' house using public transit to get to the Amtrak station. We'd need my folks to get us the last few miles, but it seemed like fun to try.

When I mentioned this plan to others, two different friends offered to drive us to the Austin train station. That was nice, but would the purpose of testing out our local transit.

So Thursday morning we left our house pretty early to be at the local bus stop by 7:05 AM to catch the commuter bus out of our neighborhood.

We got to the Lakeline Park and Ride in plenty of time to catch the 7:50 bus that would deposit us downtown at 5th and Bowie, which is only a few blocks from the train station.

We took a detour into Whole Foods to get train snacks. Mal picked some gorgeous fruit from their prepared food bar, and I got a multi-pack of chocolate bars.

We were at the train station by 8:50, which was 10 minutes before the station itself opens. When we could get in and sit in the air conditioning, Mal ate a bunch of strawberries, we used the restroom, and the bus pulled in at about 9:20.

We boarded and were on the final let of our trip just a little late, but made the time up at the only stop between here and Temple.

Door to door, this trip was almost 4 hours longer than it would have been if we'd just driven. However, we had lots of walking and breaks built in, and I got to really visit with Mal without having to focus on the act of driving.

Plus, the $30ish I spent on train and bus tickets (Mal was free as a companion to my fares) was more than gas one way would have cost me, but a lot less than the insurance and other amortized costs of owning a vehicle for the past two months would have been (several hundred dollars).

We'll eventually have two cars again, most likely. A lot depends on if D goes to the community college (which is easily accessible by the first bus Mal and I took; that bus is actually an express bus to the school), if/where they get a job, and if James ends up with a different job that requires him to commute.

For now, we're skipping along just fine. When it's so cost-effective to do so, we can deal with a little inconvenience, for sure.

PS I asked James about this and he says he vacillates on whether or not it's worth it, mostly on Sunday mornings when his custom is to go alone to brunch. I guess he doesn't love being tied to the fact that we're out and dependent on him. How rude.