Reluctantly Grateful

My great state of Texas did a thing recently that I do not agree with: They instituted a "voucher" program where parents can sign their students up and get $10,000 to apply to private school tuition. In every state where this has happened so far, public schools have suffered. Although my kids haven't been in public schools, I don't homeschool because we hate the school system! I think public education is important and that it needs to be fully funded to meet all of the students' needs, not just the median kids'. This means special ed, English as a second language, 2e, kids at nutritional risk, etc. etc. etc. Money that we pull out of that system to fund people who are already making other choices is unfair to the students who are staying behind in the catch-all schools. 

One other thing here is that the state is funding each student to the tune of $10k when the average in public schools in our state is closer to $6k AND these private schools don't have to be accredited and therefore do not have to perform on standardized testing in the way that public schools have to perform. It's not a fair system, and it seems pretty obvious that the point IS to hobble the public school system further so that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy about how much better "the market" can provide for students... when the fact is that there are some students private institutions cannot and will not take on. They just won't. It's the same as with the postal service: many addresses in the United States would not be worth it for a for-profit delivery service to take on, or else they would have to charge hundreds of dollars to deliver to the hard-to-reach areas.

So there you go: Mail and education are two things that should be level fields in the US. And we know education is not as schools in more affluent areas often have more resources, but at least that is the ideal and we should be moving more toward it instead of chipping away at it.

And yet.

As you've read about for the past 2 years: We are in a financial crunch. James might get to move to full time soon (or they're just dangling a carrot) and that will help immensely. 

But, given how things are, when the sign-ups opened, I put us on a waiting list. We were on "tier 3," which is a low priority for funding, and that was that. 

Then a couple of weeks ago, I got a notice that we'd been moved off of the waiting list and all we had to do was opt in to be funded for $2000 to spend at an online store full of approved educational items, classes, uniforms, etc. So I did. 

And now we have so many things in process, shipping, and that we've already received: a new globe (ours broke about a year ago), some STEM kits, crime scene science, space addition to our MagnaTiles, new crafting supplies like markers (I had just gone through and tested all of our markers and had thrown about 3/4 of them out) and self-stick foam sheets, a telescope, crystal-growing set, etc. etc. etc. Things that will make doing science and math easier. Some of the sets I bought are clearly meant for a small class or coop, so we'll be doing those things with our library group every so often. It's fun to be able to share!

Oh! One thing I got was a great set of magnet "toys" to do various magnet experiments. Last night, Malcolm and I spent a long time at the table stacking ring magnets on an upturned pencil so they'd hover and if you smashed them down, they'd bounce. It was very cool. D used to have the neatest magnets (I got rid of so much stuff when we moved, because I never planned to have another kid, much less homeschool again!) that I'd bought at a used curriculum fair for $5! This set was about $120, meaning I never would have bought it with my own cash money because... groceries and electricity and stuff.

So, yeah. I'm super grateful for the injection of materials our little schoolhouse is getting while still having really mixed feelings about it. It's basically like getting 1/4 of our property tax back. 

I was very surprised how much Abeka, The Good and the Beautiful, and Apologia materials I saw in this store that state funds are being used to purchase. I looked up some Spanish language supports (Malcolm has been doing Duolingo for a couple of years and is making progress) and one that  promised "Your student will speak Spanish in one year!" was called "Christ-Centered Spanish." What does that even mean?? 

Anyhoo... thanks to the great State of Texas, I suppose! My kid will be better equipped because of this.

The Agony of Defeat

A few weeks ago, I decided that it was time to replace our kitchen sink, which had been losing pressure for some time. We'd replaced it when we moved in, but it wasn't super nice to start with. We'd also replaced our garbage disposal, and it was nasty so I got one of those and figured I'd just do all of the things at once.

I got the faucet installed with no problem, but had some trouble taking the garbage disposal off, because it was all rusted and corroded, so we had trouble getting to this snap ring you have to break loose to get the base installation piece out of the sink.

Between James and me, over a few hours, we managed to get it all off and installed the garbage disposal! 

The only problem is that our old disposal was hard-wired into the electric system, and this new one (and all of the new ones) had a plug. So we did call an electrician to wire it for us. We asked about getting an outlet installed instead, since this is the standard now, but that was going to be about $450 instead of $235, so we just asked him to connect it.

In the end, he said that doing so would have invalidated the warranty on the garbage disposal, so he did install an outlet but he only charged what he'd quoted for the visit. Huzzah!

About a week later, I checked and noticed that some water was leaking under the sink. Some investigation showed that it was coming directly from the sink, from what below is labeled "sink flange."

Photo from familyhandiman.com

I pulled everything apart, reinstalled it, and it seemed to be holding tight. Great!

Fast forward to yesterday, and I told James, "I haven't checked it in a few weeks. I will just assume it's working okay.

But me being me, I did pull stuff out and felt around... and the bottom of the cabinet was damp. Not super wet, but the particleboard was swelling and it felt kind of slimy. 

"Is it time to call a plumber?" James agreed that it was.

I had to leave to take Mal somewhere, and in the meantime the plumber came out, found that the sink flange was bent, and fortunately had another one on his truck so we didn't have to buy a new disposal because I guess those single pieces are hard to find??

Later in the day, I was going through my email and saw the invoice from the plumber: IT WAS OVER $700. 

I immediately called the company, which we've used before but on big things that we knew would be expensive, and their service manager got back to me. He said that, yes, that was the price and they don't charge by the hour but by the service. He said they told James the price before they started, but I'm the one who usually does this kind of thing and if I'd been home, I would have told them no, thank you (and I'm pretty sure they would have still charged the $95 visit fee for nothing). 

I got on reddit and asked if I was crazy. People in Austin said they would expect to spend about that if they were also getting the disposal from the plumbing company, and also that this is the kind of jobs plumbers don't necessarily want to do, so they might overcharge for it to discourage having to lie at a weird angle or whatever. They suggested that next time I just get a general handyman. 

James mentioned that yes, they'd told him... and that he just was thinking about needing to get it done but that he might ought to have questioned it. Regardless, this seems egregious to me and I don't think I'm out of line. 

The service manager asked what I thought this should cost, and I said, "$250-300." He said, "Oh, yeah, we don't do anything that cheaply. We are not a sub-prime business." The general consensus on the local reddit thread was that $350 would have been reasonable. 

What's dumb is that the manager who told me that they don't charge by the hour also said, "He did spend two hours there." James then told me that the first hour was spent trying to sell us this platinum service plan. When I mentioned THAT to the service manager, he did offer to refund the $95 trip fee, and I said okay. He asked, "Will that make it better?" I said, "It will make it better, but not okay." And I was upset so I hung up on him. 

Why was I upset? 

Because I try SO HARD to steward our resources well. Obviously, I do minor home maintenance on my own when I can. I bought a couple of shirts yesterday for $5 each because a high-end store sends me a $20 gift card every year for my birthday and I go in, head straight to their clearance racks, and pick out things I'd never pay full price for. (Literally both of those shirts were originally $45-50, and there's just no way.)

Then something stupid happens like I get in an accident and have to have body work done on the car. Or a plumbing company charges us 10x what the garbage disposal cost to install it. 

James has to work almost 50 hours to pay for that repair, and that's basically two weeks' worth of work since he's still part time. We're fortunate to still have a little cushion, but what about genuinely poor or cash-strapped people who need home repair? We really need to replace a bunch of wood on our porch and get it all re-stained. It will be $7500-$10,000. We can't afford it, so we're going to end up like I did with the house in Sherman where there's so much deferred maintenance that we eventually have to sell low to an investor. 

That's why I'm SO frustrated. I cheap out on groceries; we almost never buy meat, and I always get the store brands. I look for sales. I say "no" to things all of the time. Then my stupid nickle-and-diming feels pointless when something huge like this happens that is totally outside of my control. 

That's it. I could rant all day, but I won't. You're welcome.

Happy Very Special Day to Me (and James, maybe?)

 

When you have been married three times, it seems like a lot of people think you don't take marriage seriously.

I do, and what I've learned over the last decade and a half is that being a partner who's trying to make a relationship works doesn't go far enough if the other person in the equation is checked out.

That's why I'm so grateful to have James to spend the rest of my life with, because for all of our faults and foibles and mistakes and difficulties, we're both equally committed to each other. 

The past 13 years and some change have been challenging at times. We've had issues with one or both kids at different times (and the same time). We've had pet stuff that has been maddening and devastating. We've hurt each other, and we've been too tired to put much of an effort in at varying moments.

But ultimately, we care about each other and respect each other. We love each other, and we even like each other. 

A lot of people encouraged me as I was proceeding with my divorce 15 years ago not to give up, and to keep trying to hold it together. But I was experienced enough to know that this was fighting a losing battle. I've never had that weight of hopelessness last more than a couple of minutes since I've been married to James.

We have both cared deeply for each other, and we've also hurt each other maybe even deeper, on accident. We've had misunderstandings and times that different people at different times might have considered deal-breakers. But we've also supported each other and lifted each other up and overlooked so much because ultimately, we know what we want out of our lives and we want them intertwined.

As of August 1, 2026, I've been married to James longer than I have been married to anyone else. It turns out that it's not that difficult; but I'm still really proud of both of us.