Monday, December 27, 2021

Austin Christmas Staycation

This Christmas, we didn't put up our tree because puppy. Instead, I wrapped our fake bamboo plant in lights and put the star on top (fortunately, I'd neglected to pack it up last year, so it was easily accessible). Actually, I put the star on top of a telescoping pole intended to help unscrew lightbulbs that are up high. The "bamboo" isn't strong enough to hold up the star that we have.

Anyway.

Christmas morning, I just covered the kids' presents with blankets, and it was just as much fun to discover what was under there, AND there was plenty to clean up because stuff comes in packaging, so we didn't miss out on anything by not having wrapping.

After we'd done that, I got a message that the electronic key to the room we'd reserved downtown was ready! We played a little more, then packed up and drove into Austin.

On the way, we stopped by Pease Park for James to see it for the first time. It was pretty busy, but not any busier than the other weekday Mal and I went. 

Mal wasn't super interested in playing a long time like we did last time, though, because he knew our hotel room was ready, and that's his jam.

We stayed at the Embassy Suites on South Congress. It is a great location, and the price was perfect. I'd wanted us to stay closer to where we used to live, but even the places that seemed pretty well-priced were inordinately expensive once they added on a pet deposit and mandatory valet. I looked into Spot Hero, but many of the lots downtown don't offer in/out privileges, and I didn't think we'd never need to leave, but wasn't sure. Then my sister reminded me that they'd stayed at Embassy Suites several times when they'd visited Austin from Dallas, and it ended up being perfect.

We had a king bed suite, planning for Mal and James to sleep in the bedroom, and me to sleep in the "living room" with the dog. When we first got to the hotel, we just chilled out for a while. And when I say "chilled out," I waited for the dog to calm down. He was sniffing around a lot, because it's a new place. Even though he's never peed inside anywhere we've ever been, I was still pretty nervous until he peed outside. And we were on the 8th floor, so between James and myself making a couple of trips out each until he finally relieved himself, it was a lot of ground covered!

This was our view. Not too shabby!

For dinner, I ordered Teji's for James and me, and McDonald's for Mal. Grown-up food was being delivered, but Mal and I walked down to pick his food up. And McDonald's isn't open on Christmas, Which is cool, I'm glad their employees have the day off; but it'd be nice if the app had gotten the memo. Still, it was a nice hour-long walk for Mal and me.



Mal ended up eating some mac and cheese from the hotel store, and was more than happy with that and an apple and some Airheads as dinner.

That night, I was a little stressed when it was bedtime. The hotel is really pretty, and part of that is that it has an atrium. That also meant that pretty much every noise in the hotel is "hearable" in the rooms. Luke kept jumping up and running to the door and whining when a dog would bark two floors down, or when a kid on the bottom floor was crying. THEN someone had a screaming, out of control kid running up and down our "hall" for a good 45 minutes after 11:00 PM. The man was yelling at the kid, and the kid would holler louder. Then people were calling down to people on the bottom floor. Just before I called the front desk to ask if this was typical, I guess it quieted down. 

Luke slept with me in a full-size sofa pull-out, and everything went pretty well after it finally quieted down.

Sunday morning, Luke woke up at around 6, so I threw my shoes on and we went for our walk, even though it was dark. Unlike our neighborhood at home, Austin proper has PLENTY of lights to illuminate even the darkest hour. (Too many, frankly.)




We got back to the hotel and rested a bit, but Luke was keyed up. A bit before 9, I woke James up because Mal had gotten up and I needed to get the dog back outside. James took Mal down to eat while I walked the dog to a fenced dog park. There is an off-leash area in Auditorium Shores, but it's not fenced, and it's close both to the hike and bike trail and some pretty busy roads.

The walk was nice, and the park was basic but had some pups for Luke to play with.



By the time we got back, we'd already gotten in 10,000 steps, and it wasn't even 11 o'clock!

James had brought me breakfast, which I ate while the dog slept. He actually got into his travel crate and took a nap of his own accord, after our having put him in there a couple of times to manage him when he was acting out.

Mal loved playing in the hotel. He would go out and "buy groceries" and do all sorts of missions, walking around the floor, circling the atrium, and coming back to just outside the room.


In the early afternoon, we got out to visit Toy Joy.




Then it was back to the room for some rest and relaxation.

James ended up walking over to McDonald's to get Mal's promised meal from the day before.

In the late afternoon, we decided to walk down to see the Capitol Christmas tree.






I was so proud of Mal! He'd been flagging on the walk home from Toy Joy, which was only .6 miles from our hotel. The Capitol is 1.2 miles, and we went all the way around so Mal could see the "pit."

When we got back to the room, I drove over to Sandy's to get burgers for James and me, and a shake for Mal.

Everyone was pretty wiped. I had walked more than I normally walk in a day, but James walked A LOT MORE than he usually does, and his knee was hurting (he also realized this morning that he hadn't taken his allopurinol so that might have contributed). Mal played on his iPad and I played Captain Toad's Treasure Tracker. Luke pretty much slept from the time we got back until James took him for his nightly elimination a bit after 9.

Last night was MUCH quieter than Christmas night. Once we were in bed, the hotel was reasonably quiet. But then I realized that since the fountain on the bottom floor makes the noise it makes, the hotel lobby music was pretty loud. Not loud enough that I could make out lyrics, but enough that I could hear it. I am really not fun to be around when it's time to go to sleep. I'm extremely picky and sleep lightly.



Anyway, this morning, we took it easy (including Luke's and my walk, which happily occurred at 6:45 instead of 6:00 today!) and packed up after breakfast. The dog had gone to sleep, and when we'd finally gotten totally ready to go, decided to wake him up.

We drove straight home, and have been super busy after our big 48-hour getaway. James and I put everything away, he washed some dishes D had left out because they didn't know we'd be home so early, emptied the litter boxes, and got some work done in the back yard (he's building a smallish test project before we try to start on the house), then came in a bit to finish up Mal's last overly-supervised bath, and is now at the store. I did two loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, did a dishwasher load, put together about 1/3 of Mal's Boba Fett's starship LEGO set, started Mal's bath, and then took D to the post office.

We're going to hang out and maybe watch a movie tonight. Hope everyone had a great Christmas, and that you can get some rest, too!

Saturday, December 18, 2021

A Sneak-Peak into Mal's Day Out with His BFF

Last Saturday, Mal wanted to go to Indigo Play, so we picked up one of his best friends, a girl named Kona (we've talked about her before) and she went with us.

I have to share some of the conversations, because it was a fun, fun afternoon.

First, when we picked Kona up, she gave us a packet of Christmas cookies. As we were driving off...

Kona: We made those cookies from touch.

Me: Oh, are they thumbprint cookies?

Kona: I mean, we... they weren't at the store.

Me: You mean you had the ingredients at home and mixed them together?

Kona: Yeah!

Me: You made them from scratch!

They had cute kid conversations on the way, then played for almost four hours. It was loud and exhausting, but they had a fun time. Mal was not ready to leave when I told him it was time to go (I later found out that Kona had been ready to leave for some time, and he hadn't relayed that information to me), so I tried to sweeten the deal by telling them that when I went to the grocery store, they could each pick out anything they wanted to take home with them.

In the meantime, Indigo Play had free lollipops sitting out, so in the car, Mal had the stick hanging out of his mouth.

Mal: I look like a guy from the 8000s.

Me: The 8000s?

Mal: No... the 18s?

Me: The 1800s?

Mal: Yes!

Me: With like a cigarette hanging out of your mouth?

Mal: No. The... tumbleweed.

Me: Oh! Straw? 

Mal: Right.

Kona: (brightly) Yeah, you do, Mal! You really do!

Mal: Kona, you're such a good friend. It means so much to me for you to say that.

When we got to the grocery store, Mal quickly decided that he wanted some Lucky Charms. I needed to get apples, milk, jalapeƱo slices (which Kona found for us), and eggs, so we headed back to the dairy section.

While I was looking (unsuccessfully) for lactose-free whole milk, inspiration hit Kona. "I want a small chocolate milk!"

Me: Good choice!

I didn't see her open the milk case, but as she put her choice into the cart, I realized she'd picked a half gallon... which IS smaller than a gallon!

Later, when we were in the car, Mal said, "Mom! Kona is drinking out of the bottle!"

Kona's mom reported that she did share with her sisters when she got home. I guess they don't mind drinking after each other.

Those kids were just a lot of fun to hang out with. 

It's weird: I remember being very stressed when D had a friend over for whom I was responsible. It always felt like I was "on." I don't know whether I've mellowed, or... well, yeah. I've probably mellowed. Anyway, I'm happy to chauffeur and eavesdrop on Mal and Kona any time.





Saturday, December 11, 2021

A Month of Sundays

It has been exactly a week since I posted... and I just realized that on October 29, I included a picture of Mal with his loose tooth and the caption: "This tooth needs to come out!" You'll be pleased to know that, a month and a half later, it is still hanging on by a thread in his face. His adult tooth is basically in, and it shoved the other tooth off to the side, but Mal won't loosen it, and he freaks out if we try to help him. I not-so-secretly hope that he bumps something with his mouth and it gets knocked out.

But no. His balance is great.

Right now, we have a freeze warning for overnight. Yesterday, it was 83 and broke the record for December 10 in Austin. It will be in the 80s again on Tuesday. It's difficult to dress under these circumstances. Also, we got a "dumb" thermostat when we got our "new" a/c in 2020, so we keep having to switch between cooling and heating. I'm sure the unit enjoys the challenge.


We've been having mostly near-home adventures lately. Mal is growing up so much, and is becoming more mature in so many ways. The other day, I'd left a chair pulled out and the dog jumped up on the table to try to steal some of Mal's LEGOs. When that happened, I apologized to Mal for not pushing the chair in. I said, "That was my fault; I know he'll do that if he can." Mal said, very seriously, "Mom, I want to be responsible so I'll say that it was my fault." I told him that was very noble, but in this specific case, it really WAS my fault. We've talked previously about him blaming folks for things like if he runs into something because he is looking at his computer while he's walking, and he'll say, "I KNEW you shouldn't have put that there!" So at least he's trying to figure it out.

We're working with a private trainer for several sessions over the next few weeks before Luke's intermediate dog training class starts. We've implemented several suggestions from the first session, and I feel like we're already seeing some progress.

We're also working with a real estate lawyer to get our lots re-platted differently so we can start working on our plan for the back lot. We had our first phone call with the architect, and it was a trip. We were kind of feeling iffy about it, but his most recent email was a lot more down-to-earth, and it seems like we can move forward with him.

Right at this moment, I am with Mal and his friend at Indigo Play. I don't think we've ever been on the weekend, and holy crap, is it loud. James is getting ready to go get his Covid booster. Mine was scheduled for last weekend, but the pharmacy didn't get the vaccine, so I rescheduled... and they canceled that. Next weekend, I'm going up to Temple to try there.

Oh, that just reminded me that Mal's 2nd dose is tomorrow. I need to start mentally psyching myself up now.


Thursday, November 11, 2021

Building Our Dream (?) House?

I might have mentioned, we almost moved back in May. It didn't work out (the real estate market is cooling off but still pretty cut-throat), and since then, we had the water heater bust a pipe (again), and we had to do a bunch of remediation and repair. Then James decided we needed to move the pigeon/chicken loft/tool shed, because we realized it's probably on the corner of our leach field. This weekend, Luke actually pointed out to us that the leach field has a leak (not at the shed; elsewhere). And Sunday night, we had to call our a/c guys for a recurring problem we have with our a/c drain clogging. 

Note: I started this blog post on October 13. Since then, our heat pump has malfunctioned and fortunately the company we use came out and didn't charge us. But also, we've realized that water is STILL getting into our house in the master bedroom. James pulled out the molded baseboards and drywall, and we pulled back the carpet and pad (again) to dry out the subfloor. We fixed a roof thing, tested it, and it seemed okay. But there was STILL WATER GETTING INTO THE HOUSE. We later realized there was a crack in the masonry, and maybe that was it? While James was fixing that, Laura noticed that our non-functional outdoor shower (only has hot water, so is scalding after a few moments) was kind of moldy around the handle. Got a plumber out to look at it and they closed off the valves, one of which (hot, of course) was dripping... for who knows how long. THEN we got a leak detection company out today, and they actually capped the lines to the shower just to be extra safe, and they could not make any more water come into the floor. For good measure, they caulked around the shower trim we had installed five months ago. I'm still nervous. I'll be un-nervous after a month has passed and we've had a good rain and there is no more water getting into the house.

Moving on...

This kind of thing makes me think we should rent.

We talked about it: selling our house and moving to a rental. The problem is that if you rent from a private owner, they're liable to sell the house out from under you. And if you live in an apartment... well, James's options for a workshop are pretty bleak.

So, we had our back lot surveyed, and spent the past month working through a "program" from an architect James found and really liked. We've sent the program in, and he's going to ponder it for a while and get started on some drawings. We know we want to build with eco-friendly materials like cob or straw bale or earth bags. We know we want the house to be whimsical and modest. We know we don't want to be paying property tax on three lots anymore, too.

James is thinking about re-platting our lots so that we take the part of the second lot our yard is on and make it part of the lot where we're planning to build, mostly to assure that we have lots of trees and no one decides to buy this house on the two lots, move the fence in, clear the second lot, and built another house right up on us.

So, hang on to your butts... we'll see how this goes!

Friday, October 29, 2021

Marrying Mal

A few weeks ago, Mal was asking me if his cousin's son was his in-law. I told him no, he doesn't have any in-laws. He was pretty bummed by it, and I explained that he wouldn't have in-laws until he got married. He thought about it for a few moments, then said, "If, in the future, I married Kona, then you'd be her mother-in-law! And her mom would be my mother-in-law."

He was pretty excited about the idea, and that was that.

Until a few days later... 

We'd been at a homeschool gathering, and on the way home, Mal said, "Mom, you know how I've been thinking about the future? Well, Kona has another friend who was thinking about marrying her."

Then the next time we saw them, Mal told me, "His name is Andy. The one who wants to marry Kona. I hope he changes his mind."

I said, "Well, actually it's up to Kona who she marries."

Then next time, after we left, Mal was musing, "I really do hope Kona chooses me." I said, "Mal, you have a lot of time to figure that out." He shook his head and asked, "Mom, have you ever heard that kids grow up quickly?" I tried not to laugh, instead explaining that literally, it was at least eleven years before he could legally get married.

Then after all of that time, earlier this week, we came back to Urban Air for the first time in months (Delta variant is waning). Mal met a girl and played with her for a couple of hours. When she left, Mal came over to me and whispered, "I have a secret that she told me not to tell you... We went and got another piece of candy from the front desk when no one was looking." 

I laughed at that and asked, "Did you tell her we don't care what you eat?" Mal said, "No. But I have another secret." Still whispering in my ear, "You know how Kona has someone else who wants to marry her? I can marry this friend instead." "Do you know her name?" He did not. He ran after to ask, but Urban Air is really loud.

And they all lived happily ever after.

This tooth NEEDS TO COME OUT.




Thursday, October 28, 2021

"You Look Great" as blatant fatphobia

This weekend, I attended an event where one of the people there has lost upwards of 100 pounds during the pandemic. He himself was pretty low-key about it, only talking when people remarked or asked questions. He said that basically his weight loss was due to doing mental health work and realizing that he was spending a lot of time eating to avoid wrestling with his anxiety and other issues.

Twice, I heard people say, "You look great!" Both times, I cringed. Both times, I didn't say anything because I haven't seen these people in at least a year and a half, and some of them I had never met before. When my mom recently remarked that someone who'd lost a bunch of weight "looks great," I said, "She looks smaller. She looked fine before."

I wish I'd spoken up this weekend.

Fatphobia is ugly.

Complementing a person's looks when they have lost weight is fraught. You don't know whether they lost weight on purpose (in this case, it sounded like he hadn't), or even if intentional weight loss is something to celebrate. In my case, I got a LOT of positive feedback when I dropped pounds... but the reason I was doing it was to avoid losing someone's affections. That's not something for which I should have been given a pat on the back. I lost weight to comply with someone else's ideal of feminine beauty. I should have been encouraged to explore why I felt compelled to do that instead of insisting that I be treated with respect regardless of my size.

Furthermore, complementing someone on their weight loss implies that they look better now than they did before. This is problematic on several accounts. One is that, if they are like 95% of people who intentionally lose a great deal of weight, their body will fight to put that weight back on... and it will. So when they return to a larger size, they're left with the ghosts of complements past, and they know that they're being judged as having let themselves go or some other such nonsense.

Another problem is that there are often (and there were in this case) people in the vicinity who weigh in the ballpark of that person's "before." You're basically telling them that they'd be better and more attractive if they could just get it together and drop some poundage. That's thoughtless, and it's rude.

The fact is that thinner people do not objectively look "better" than bigger people. We've learned as a culture to value thinness, but one way to help fix this is to intentionally expose ourselves to a variety of body sizes. It's difficult to do that with mainstream media, because most people on television and in magazines are still extremely small. But a great thing about TikTok and Instagram and YouTube is that you can find bodies that are differently-sized, have different levels of physical ability, and whose gender expressions vary from the pretty narrow spectrum commonly seen in content generated primarily for commercial success.

It seems silly that we have to remind ourselves that fat people aren't failed thin people (thanks, Virgie Tovar), and that there are fat folks living great lives everywhere all of the time. When someone loses weight, it's just that: weight loss. It's not good. It's not bad. It just is. Same as when someone gains weight: not good, not bad... just reality.

If we could find our way to this understanding, life would be so much better for all of us.

And next time, I'm going to say something in that moment. I've really had enough.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Pumpkin Patch, 'tis the season

Last weekend, we visited a dog-friendly pumpkin patch in Temple I'd read about. Because my niece told me we needed to be there RIGHT when it opened (she was right), we stayed in a hotel the night before. D even went with us! It was a nice little 24-hour getaway.



Luke and Mal both settled into the hotel pretty quickly. We realized that Luke's crate wouldn't fit in our car, and I don't think it hurt his feelings at all.

Our plan had been to all (but D) go to the park together, but Mal was having fun at the hotel and wasn't interested in getting out. So I took Luke to a dog park, and my parents met me for about half an hour or so.



The kids had McD's for dinner, and James and I got sandwiches from Krazy Waffle. He had a breakfast sandwich, and I had the Monte Cristo. It was tasty, especially because I'd forgotten to eat lunch.


The night went off without a hitch, and the next morning, we drove ten minutes out to the farm. There is about a mile stretch where the road is one-way, and that's why you don't want to get there after it's open and there is a line. It's like those construction areas where one side of the road is closed. Glad we only had to do that on the way out!

There were tons of photo opportunities, and lots of neat things to do included in the entry price. We also brought home a couple of ornamental and a couple of pie pumpkins.


2 of D's 3 archery attempts. The last was close to the middle, too!








We came back home Saturday night, and Mal had his first Halloween party on Sunday. There were some crafts and he got to play with one of his good friends, so that was nice.





On both Saturday and Sunday, Mal got to play with another friend whose grandparents live around the corner. They made plans to see each other this weekend at the trunk-or-treat and outdoor movie our town is having. We also have a homeschool trunk-or-treat Friday, and one the town over on actual Halloween. Yesterday, my friend from Las Vegas said, "So you'll have candy for a year." I don't think she knows me and my family as well as I had thought... :) 

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Ennui

In the past year or so, I've had several short bouts with what I think is depression. It comes and goes. (Memo to me: check out Delta-8 gummies.)

Mal has been SUPER into swinging lately. That comes and goes, too... like in his life. It does seem like this time of the year, when it's mostly nice a lot of the day, he wants to spend a lot of time on the swing set. Problem is, he does not know how to swing himself. So there is much asking and begging and cajoling of grown-ups for assistance. Since James works most days, that typically falls to me. One day last week, he was asking me to keep pushing him (even though I already had twice, including the time we were finishing up because I needed to go inside and start on dinner), and I said something that made him cry. It almost made me cry, too, actually. 

I said, "Mal, I love you, and I love to help you do what you want to do. But sometimes I have other things I HAVE to get done. I also have things that I myself want to do, and you know when I get to do them? Never. I don't have any time to do what I want." Now, this was a little exaggeration, and a little mean, though unintentionally. Fact is, I had him because I WANTED a kid, and I wanted to take care of him. Same with the dog. Same with being the designated "homemaker." But in terms of just deciding to do a thing that makes me happy, and then doing that... my life doesn't really allow for much more of that than maybe eating a really good cookie, or watching a television show while I do something else, too.

In thinking about that, I realized that I don't even know what I like to do, or what I'd want to do with free time. Again, I can spend time on my phone throughout the day while I'm sitting with the dog so he'll calm down a bit. I can find pockets of time that randomly show up to do some volunteer work on the computer. But a pottery class? No way. In-person book club? Nope. Even a night out at the movies with a friend? It's just not feasible given how our lives are structured.

Besides, I don't know that, if I had free time, I'd want to do any of those things.

Several people have asked me lately, "What do you like to do in your spare time?" or "What are your hobbies?" And I genuinely don't know. I used to like to write. Now, ehh. I used to like to eat in restaurants. We really haven't done much of that since Mal was born, because he's not a huge "sit in one place for an hour" kind of person. Also, now that I'm out of diet culture, food is not the end-all/be-all it used to be.

All of this might be because it's possible I've entered into perimenopause. 

For the first time since I had Mal, last month, my period was late. Like 2-3 weeks late. I was hoping that I'd just never have another one, but, alas, that is not what happened. When it arrived, it made up for the time it lost, for sure. So maybe also it was heavy on the hormones.

I'm feeling much more balanced this week.

Oh, and we have some cool news coming soon. Maybe even today? Just seemed like it should go in a separate post from this downer. :) So stay tuned!



Sunday, September 19, 2021

Jetsetting

I've never been to Europe, but I'd love to visit. It looks beautiful, and old, and so compact compared to Texas. I've never been to Peru, but the idea of Macchu Picchu has intoxicated me since I was a teenager and had a poster in the living room of my first apartment (is it "mine" if my parents paid for it?).

I've been to Disney World multiple times, and flying is definitely the way to go. Actually, the first time we flew (which was the third time we visited), it almost felt "wrong" because the journey getting there the first two times was so much a part of the experience. But spending more days in the park and fewer on the road, after that first time flying, I was hooked.

I spent all week in Hawaii in a state of rapture: the flowers! The ocean! The food! The people! It was a week like none other before or since.

And cruising has taken me to places I didn't even know I wanted to go, but will never ever forget. The village of Chacchoben is one of those little corners of beauty that I didn't realize existed. The island of Roatan is another.

Covid scrapped our plan to fly to California, which we promised Mal would be the last time we'd get on a plane for a while. He's pretty anxious about air travel. I was bummed about not getting to visit Disneyland for the first time, and sad that I wouldn't get to see the Pacific Ocean any time soon... but since then, we've taken some pretty cool "consolation" trips.

Last October, we drove around Hill Country and saw some very cool sites, ate some really good food, and had laid-back family time. It was great.

In November, we went to Port Aransas, which is no CA or HI, but has its own charms. My parents and my sister's family spent Thanksgiving there.

In July, we visited Dallas for a few days (a drive we have well worn over the past decade), and in August, we went to Houston extremely briefly.

In the end, I think James and I have basically agreed that air travel is just a thing of the past for us. In addition to Mal's fears, and even more importantly, we will stop flying for the same reason we got solar panels: The cost to earth is too great.

Sadly, I looked up comparative carbon emissions and saw that cruising is significantly more polluting than flying, per passenger mile. Sigh.

But once I get over the disappointment of thinking I'll never experience a Belgian Christmas, I remember other things: There are wonders everywhere. Staying close to home not only saves wear-and-tear on the planet, it also saves money. Additionally, places like Hueco Tanks park in West Texas only allows about 70 visitors per day, due to the effect of an influx of people has on the surroundings. I'm starting to realize that when we go to "exotic" places like Roatan, and the island has to change to keep up with the expectations of well-heeled tourists, it's the same effect. And it's ironic because now Roatan depends almost entirely on tourism. Here's a very well-done article on all of that.

So, we drive. And probably not too far. At least until we get an electric car and can figure out the charging situation.

What I'd like to see go away is the classist, "Oh, you simply MUST travel. It broadens the mind in ways you just can't find doing anything else." I call BS because I know a lot of people who have traveled extensively and are as small-minded and pompous as anyone else might be. I remember one night, chatting with an older couple at dinner on a -- gasp -- cruise after the magical day at Chacchoben from Costa Maya. While I reeled over the intense beauty and wonder I'd experienced, the woman said to me, "You can understand why they all want to come to America" as she shuddered a little. It was like we'd been on different planets.

Traveling doesn't mean you're worldly. It only means you have the time and means to travel. And good for you. I love traveling! But it's not morally superior to being a person who never leaves their hometown. Can we strike that down, please?

Basically, we want to be better stewards of our planet. That might involve a lot of us deciding to leave most of it well enough alone, and stick to our neighboring destinations. We're ready for that. It's probably beyond time.

Saturday, September 11, 2021

20 Years After 9/11

It's been 20 years since 9/11 changed the world as we know it. In a lot of ways, I feel like this post is probably about as interesting as my mom telling me about where she was when JFK got shot. Or maybe where she was when she found out. That was so interesting to me that I can't remember what she told me. Though I obviously remember that it was important to her. To me, 9/11 wasn't as emotionally impactful as the Challenger blowing up. That's mostly a confession about the shallowness of my priorities as a human being. I'm not proud of this. I recognize that it's a serious flaw in my character, I'm trying to overcome it. A handful of people (including a teacher!) died trying to get into space when I was in junior high. Thousands of people died when terrorists stole planes and changed history by flying them into skyscrapers that symbolized capitalism. I was working in Boulder, CO at the time. I'm almost positive that I lived up the mountain in Nederland. And that I'd taken the bus into work that morning, which is why I hadn't heard any of the news. Someone had brought in an old-school (even for the time) portable TV. It was a clunky CRT thing, with rabbit ears for its antenna. The footage of the planes flying into the buildings was playing over and over. I don't think either had collapsed yet. I'd spent the past few years getting disenchanted with the American government. I'd dropped out of college to join the military for Desert Storm. Back then, everyone I knew was afraid that the goverment would have to bring back the draft (most of our teachers remembered it going away when they were young, and they warned that it was just a matter of time before some serious military conflict brought it back). So volunteering for the Navy seemed like a wiser choice (and chance to be lazier) than being forced to join the Army or Marines. Plus, I liked the Navy recruiters better (ah, the stupidity of youth). After I got out, I came to the conclusion that Desert Storm was a huge mistake. This was a shock to me. I grew up believing that I could trust the U.S. government to mostly do the right thing. Despite growing up in a family that identified as mostly Native American. Both my grandfathers fought in WW2, because it was the right thing to do. My dad volunteered to fight in 'Nam, as soon as he was old enough. I grew up hearing about how disappointed he was that he wasn't allowed to join that fight due to hearing problems. I trusted that the government wouldn't have taken us to war in Vietnam if it wasn't the right thing to do. Just like we wouldn't have gone to war against Kuwait if it hadn't been right. After all, Americans are the good guys! We saved the world from Fascism in WW2. Right? Well, no, but that's a story for a different day. I hated the point of my existence while I was on the submarine. Our entire purpose in life was to threaten to be suicide bombers on an inconceivable scale. We were the world's biggest terrorists. We might have had an arsenal of ICBMs that we could launch and wipe out every major city in China. Or Russia. Or anywhere else in the world that had cities to melt down to radioactive glass. It's also possible that we didn't. I never had a "need to know," so I was never sure whether our missiles were the real thing or not. Whether they were or not, we all lived with the grim reality that Russia (at the very least) would be able to respond quickly enough to vaporize a cubic mile of ocean around us. We played a lot of war games when we'd pretend to sneak up to launch depth (with a squadron of enemy ships hunting all around us), launch our missiles, and then sink slowly back away so we could sneak back up a few hours later and launch a few more. But we all knew that we wouldn't survive after that first launch. I don't know about anyone else on the sub, but I know that I didn't want to. I couldn't have lived with the fact that I'd just helped wipe out a dozen or so cities. After I got out, I managed to get enough space to actually examine the truth. And I came to the conclusion that my fundamental assumptions were wrong. America had not been the "good guy" there. We weren't the "good guy" in Vietnam. We hadn't been the "good guy" in Korea. Or, really, in any of the other military actions since WW2. It's quite possible that we weren't even the good guys in WW2. Maybe the real reason we got involved at all was because the Soviets were about to conquer the world, and FDR wanted to present the American Way of Life as a better alternative. At best, we showed up to help straighten up the mess we made by getting involved in WW1. And there just is not any excuse for our involvement in that one. It turns out that the US government has almost never been the "good guy." So: I was really not a big fan of the US government when 9/11 happened. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of NYC either. There's a lot of other emotional baggage there, and this post is already long enough. When I saw those planes fly into that tower, my reaction was "Well, there goes what's left of our freedom." At the time, people pretended that the terrorists attacked us because the hated our freedom (that wasn't it: they attacked us because we refuse to stop meddling in the Middle East, because we're addicted to their oil). And they got belligerently patriotic and flew big American flags all over the place and insisted that we couldn't let the terrorists win. Then they threw out a huge chunk of the freedoms that the terrorists supposedly attacked us to eliminate. When I was a kid, you could just wander through an airport. Hang out at a terminal and watch planes arrive and leave. I'm glad they decided you can't just smoke everywhere and got rid of the ash trays, but I'm sad that we've gone so over-the-top about pointless security measures. I'd love to be able to walk Laura to her gate and kiss her "good-bye" the next time she boards a plane without me. When I was in school, teachers would call roll and make a list of the missing students. Then they'd hang that list outside their door. Now, there are biometric scanners to track who is in each classroom. And kids are fine with this! It's like they've been brainwashed to believe that it's fine for Big Brother to track their every movement. And then there's the surveillance state. When I was growing up, parents would scare their kids by telling us how the government in the Soviet Union monitored every facet of their citizens' lives. They didn't have the technology to manage the kind of surveillance that we regularly expect from our government. And that doesn't hold a candle to what we voluntarily share about our lives for the convenience of the little personal spies we carry around in our pockets. At least Apple and Google can't murder us with impunity just because they don't like our opinions. And, so far, the federal government hasn't taken that step (though things started getting close with the way Trump handled some of the Black Lives Matter protests). On the other hand, Congress did decide to allow the President to do pretty much anything he wanted to try to get revenge against the people who were behind the attacks. And we've committed a lot of atrocities since then. 9/11 was an unspeakable tragedy. Our response in the Middle East was much, much worse. Americans should be better than we are.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Childhood terrors

Over the past few months, Mal has developed a bunch of phobias. I'm not qualified to make that diagnosis. And he's probably too young for anyone to make them. But he has a bunch of irrational fears that directly impact his quality of life. I'm pretty sure that's the definition. Maybe especially since he can't express his fears. I want to be really clear about this: he's much better than I about expressing his feelings. But he hits a blank wall here. Something was happening the other day, and it freaked him out. I tried to be the patient parent. My natural tendency is to just tell him that there isn't anything to worry about, and I know that doesn't help. So I asked him "What's the worst thing that you can imagine happening?" He couldn't come up with anything beyond "That sound scares me." I think we agreed that it was a creepy sound, but (in my mind) it wasn't anything that should keep you from living your life. He's watching youtube videos that fill his brain full of things that might go wrong. Diabetes. Strokes. Having your oxygen stolen by sleeping under a tree. I've been spending a lot of quality time lately with a rubber mallet and lumps of clay that I dug out of our back yard. He spent a little time with it, pretending that it was Thor's hammer, and that he couldn't lift it. And then he swung it around and smacked himself in the back, and he totally freaked out about the possibility that he'd given himself a spinal injury. I try to assure him that he pretty much cannot do that. And I feel a little hypocritical, because he also insists on making death-defying leaps that seem like they really could snap his neck, and I really want him to stop those (he mostly has). The other day, a thunderstorm blew through. I have vivid childhood memories of sitting on our front porch and watching that sort of thing with my mom. I tried to convince Mal to come outside with me. Mom tells me that they terrified her and that she was just putting on a brave front so I wouldn't be scared. I love them. Maybe mostly because I'm sure we won't get tornadoes here in my lifetime. But Mal doesn't want anything to do with them. And, really, how much of his terror of everything is due to COVID? There's this thing you can't see that can kill you. Just sort of randomly. Or maybe the people you love. Who knows? Is that more random than the idea that you could get killed by electrocution from wires that should be hidden by holes in the walls? Or maybe by the insulation that might leak down from the ceiling if that drywall gets breached? We put him (and ourselves) into a mask anytime we go into public. Is that teaching him that anyone can just drop dead at anytime? He told me recently that he basically sends out "I love you" as a sonar beacon to make sure everyone he loves around him hasn't just dropped dead. I want to tell him that's a really silly fear. People usually don't just die like that. But my cousin Benny Jr did exactly that. At about my age. Maybe his fears aren't as silly as I'd like to think.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

All Puppy, All the Time

My, how we've all grown over the past three weeks.

Luke has shot up physically. He was 8.8 pounds when they weighed him at the vet on August 6, then 9.2 pounds at our vet's on August 11. When I took him in for boosters on August 27, he was 11.8 pounds! And he's so much taller! He already outgrew the awesome crate I bought him, so we traded with someone in the neighborhood for a much bigger, much cheaper crate. Oh well. C'est la vie. 

James took Luke to his first puppy training class last weekend. I'm taking him tomorrow. He has that for six weeks, and we're also planning to get him out to a pool to see if he likes swimming. He seems to have more energy every day, so we're always looking for ways to get him thinking or moving. And the "moving" part can be a challenge when it's so hot out. 

Ironically, this is one of the cooler summers Austin has had in some time. But that's relative, and it's sweltering. Much more humid than typical.

Mal has figured out how to play with Luke in a way that won't get him all chewed up like James and I are (puppy bites are super painful and I scab over for so long, it would be tempting to wear long sleeves if we weren't living in the sweltering days of hell right now). We have two of Luke's toys each tied to opposite ends of a rope. I'd put one on the end just to kind of make it seem "alive." It was a way to play tug that didn't risk Luke's accidentally biting me. Once we put another toy on the other end, though, it became magical. Mal will run around inside during the day and outside at dusk, and get Luke absolutely bonkers over chasing and taking the toy.

We've also learned that he definitely likes to explore the neighborhood. I hadn't planned to try leash-walking until he was about 4 months old, because he's just such an energetic little ball of loopiness that I didn't think it would work. We're not doing loose-leash walks that give me much exercise, but it's nice to be out and about.

Luke sleeps great in the crate at night, but does not like it during the day. We've had a couple of successful  sessions, both when he was just already exhausted and I put him in when he was basically asleep. When we put him in fully awake, even if he's been exercised and fed and tired out and there are treats and toys in there, he does not like it. Work in progress.

He can use the rabbit waterer!

(It's Saturday morning now)

This time last year, when we weren't going anywhere, Mal got out of the habit of wearing clothes. Once the pandemic seemed to be lifting, he was to the point where he wanted to dress in the morning, even if we weren't going anywhere. Now, thanks to the Delta variant, which has rendered indoor spaces unavailable to him since he's unvaccinated (because of his age), plus the puppy, we're mostly home again. And once again, Malcolm is running around in his skivvies. It's hard to find pictures of him that don't involve partial nudity. But he is spending a lot of time outdoors, playing with the dog and hanging out with James and I while we work in the yard. So here's a cutie I took of him last night, and that's why he's not wearing a shirt. Now, why he wears his undies backwards and pulls them up like he's an 80-year-old man? I have no idea.

Time to go get ready for the day. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Thursday, August 12, 2021

The One Where We Get a Dog

Friday afternoon, August 6, when James got off of work; he, Mal, and I got into the car and drove toward Houston. We stopped at the Bus-ees (a Texas road trip must!) in Giddings, then at the Blue Bell Creameries in Brenham (their operations close for the day at 2, so we didn't get to see that, but their $1 scoop shop is hard to beat), and finally at a pizza pub with an outdoor playground in Spring before checking in to our motel in Kingwood.





This place was $55 a night, probably the first straight-up motel Mal's ever stayed in, and was super clean and quiet. If you're ever in the area, America's Best Value Inns IAH/Kingwood is a comfy place to spend a cheap night, especially if you're heading to the airport in the morning. 

I got up and walked Saturday morning, and found a taco truck for James's breakfast, and a home-cooking place for our dinner.

We had a laid-back day, visiting a local park/nature preserve for Mal first thing, then driving into Houston proper to see the Beer Can House. I thought it would be open, but apparently hours "vary." We were the only ones there and got to looky-loo for quite a while. It's amazing; when I visited with D 15 years ago, the house was in a neighborhood with pretty similar small, Craftsman-looking houses. Now, it's like the movie Up where it's surrounded by apartments, condos, and remodeled/rebuilt homes.





After that, we stopped at a bakery we'd passed on the way down. We left with tons of good stuff, including way too much pan dulce, some tortillas, and a half-dozen tamales.

We chilled at the hotel until dinner, when we drove the short distance to Bill's Cafe. It had a nice outdoor space where Mal played Codespark Hero Foos while we ate. Oh, and as we were getting out of the car, I'd put my purse down to help Mal with his mask and the door shut, locking my keys inside. So we also got to visit with a nice locksmith. Thank you, roadside assistance.


Originally, we were supposed to pick the puppy up at noon, but one of the breeders had to go into work, so we did it at 8 AM. That worked out so well. All of the paperwork was online, so all we had to do was get Luke and take off. Bwhippd is a great outfit and I cannot recommend them highly enough. When we got Luke, we'd taken a toy for his crate, and they not only got it scented with his mom's scent, they let us meet her! We didn't take a picture, but her name is Zara and you can see her here.

We'd found a park 3 minutes from their house, so we went there first to let Mal and Luke burn off some steam before driving back to Austin.



The ride home was a dream, honestly. Luke settled in so well. We stopped after about an hour to let everyone go to the restroom, when managed to make it the rest of the way home in a straight shot!



Mal said that having a dog in the back seat made the drive much less boring. It took about two hours, but he did pet Luke (he's been frightened of dogs, from having encounters with much too aggressively friendly ones).

Since Sunday afternoon, we've been in full puppy mode, and I feel like the way the breeders managed the litter has made the transition so easy for us. He has a lot of energy, and he's age-appropriately bite-y; but he also was basically potty-trained from having access to a dog door and "crate time" the last week before he came home. He is great at night in the crate. He typically wakes up every 3-4 hours, which is tiring but, again, age-appropriate. It will extend over time.

The cats let their guard down a bit Monday morning, and Rudy let Luke sniff him. Luke was so excited that he bounded over to Carol, and she let him know in no uncertain terms that his enthusiasm was NOT returned. He screamed so loud, everyone did a reset and they're getting to know each other from a much more respectful distance now.

So for the next few weeks, it's lots of go outside, come in and play, do some light training, eat some food, play some more, sleep a while. It's like having a baby in that when he's sleeping, I'm trying like crazy to get everything done around the house and with meals that I can manage. Also, I find I'm spending more time with Mal than usual because I want to make sure he doesn't feel short-changed on that because of the dog. 

I've basically eschewed any commitments for a while, and the change of pace is nice. Now I will leave you with a few pictures, as this past half hour sitting with a pup's head on my lap, typing away on the computer, has felt extremely luxurious, but I have stuff to do.