What's one little drive train among friends, really?

Remember how we had our dishwasher unclogged right before we went to Louisiana? It's clogged again and making the absolute worst metallic-sounding noise. The same guy is coming out to look at it this evening. Maybe. I'm getting "ghost" vibes from them, so we'll see.

Furthermore, one of our cars has been running rough... I guess; I don't drive it, but going by D's description, the mechanic said, "It sounds like it could be the drive train." Perfect. They have the car so I get to take D to work the next few mornings. I'm up, anyway, but I don't usually have to drive in morning traffic so that will be a fun time.

You know how they say that youth is wasted on the young? Well, I guess you could say that money is wasted on the old, but you won't have to worry about that with us! We're spending our retirement savings on near-constant break-downs. 

Austerity Measures

Back in the day, when I lived in Sherman and had much more time than money, I clipped coupons. The local Kroger would double coupons up to $.50 and it would triple coupons up to $.35 (so that was the BEST coupon to have!). I'd shop on Wednesday morning as soon as the store opened, and the specials from the past week's circular AND the new week's circular were still in effect. 

In this manner, I made do with $75 per week for groceries for a family of 3.

Over time, paper coupons weren't worth the newspaper subscription. As we got busier and were able to be a little less fussed with cost, I came to value my time more and started doing eMeals for weekly menu planning, and just bought what was on that list. It helped me save money, having a plan, but it was less of an on-the-fly kind of planning I'd done before, and it was a time-saver.

Once eMeals integrated with shopping apps and I could just pop my list over to Walmart and have it show up on my doorstep within 24 hours (we have In-Home, so we don't have to tip... but it's not as fast as Walmart+ Door Dash delivery). 

Well, it's been MONTHS since James got laid off. Grocery prices do not seem to want to drop at all. Tariffs are about to make things even more expensive! 

So I decided to try a little experiment and -- gasp! -- go to a grocery store. 

This morning, I got up just as the stores were opening, and I arrived at a Randall's by about 6:40. It was good I hadn't knocked down the door, because they were just starting to do daily mark-downs at that time.

I went through the store a couple of times, and ended up with enough stuff both to make all of our meals for the week (with some help from our pantry and some produce James and D got for free last night at the Lago Vista food giveaway), and some "snacky" kinds of things Mal likes (granola bars, yogurt, pudding) for $65ish. 

In Sherman, I'd aim to save 33% on my shopping trips. Today, I saved 48%!

Some of the biggest wins were: berries are all buy one/get one free. Brownie mix is usually $3 and was on sale for $1. I found 1/2 price yogurt cups, plus had digital coupons for them in the app. I got a pound of ground turkey for $2 and 3 pork chops (bone-in) for just under $3. The only thing I bought that wasn't either on sale, expiring and marked down, on clearance, or had a coupon, was 5 pounds of flour, which I needed and which, at $2.79, was one of the most expensive things I purchased.

When I got home, I browned all of the turkey because it was already looking sad. I added some seasoning, then put half of it in the refrigerator. I took the other half, added half a bag of shelled edamame and two diced carrots, and made some "peppery bacon" mac and cheese James had gotten for free at the giveaway months ago.

It was delicious, and enough food for the three grown-ups in the house (Mal is always the wild card; he doesn't like mixed flavors, and so I have to make sure we have fruit, chicken nuggets, and yogurt to keep him happy). 

I also made this lentil "meat" loaf recipe that I'd sent my parents, because another thing James got last night was red bell pepper. We had everything else (except the celery), and I just wanted something around for everyone to eat or make sandwiches out of, so I don't have to cook again until Monday.

Then I prepared one of the two boxes of brownie mixes that I'd bought. I used the "flax seed egg" mixture mentioned in the lentil loaf recipe, because at this point, flax seed is cheaper than eggs. So unless the egg is acting like an egg (scrambled, boiled, crepes, creme anglaise, etc.), it's going to be flax! You do have to make sure that you cook whatever you put it in, as people have gotten botulism from raw flax seed. 

Anyhoo... it's been a throwback, and not a bad way to spend my morning. 

We're not in trouble yet, but there's no harm in reeling things in a little bit. If Mal were as good an eater as D was at his age, this would be a lot easier! I might have to start asking him to take a "yes/no" bite of everything that I make, to see if he can develop a wider taste palate.

Public Assistance

James does have a severance package, but it's taking a long time to process... apparently because in addition to the normal "review the paperwork and make sure you're not going to sue us" waiting period, since James is 50+, there's additional time to make sure he's not going to sue them for ageism. 

In the meantime (and, honestly, until James gets another job), we're tightening our belts and trying not to buy anything we don't need to buy. We've been really fortunate so far the past month...

First, Leander Independent School District has free lunches for kids. We've only gone twice, but one meal a week is still better than nothing. They also have breakfast, but that's only from 8-9 AM, which is way early for us! Mal actually tried nachos for the first time and found that he loves nacho cheese (not the spicy kind, of course). Granted, it's not Brussels sprouts, but any new food is good, as far as I'm concerned! He did try a carrot the other day when I was making dinner, and decided it's not for him. I was proud that he tried, though! This is much better than turning up his nose at food he thinks he's not going to enjoy.

Second, a woman in Lago Vista (who must be a saint) goes to south Austin every week and picks up a thousand pounds of food to distribute to at-risk households in Lago. She always ends up with a whole lot of food left over, and so she opens it up to the public on Friday afternoons. For the past two weeks, we've been able to get produce, bread, and some pantry items. It's hit or miss what will be available at all, and they hand out numbers then draw so the order is random. But the first week, James got big bags of walnuts and hazelnuts, dried split beans, rice, everything bagels, cheese bread, apples, a cantaloupe, a mango... And yesterday, we got probably $30 worth of bread (we were close to the end and no one had claimed a bunch of it; most of it is in the freezer), butter lettuce, apples, onions, cinnamon raisin bagels, corn on the cob, and some other stuff. Both weeks, I think we've been able to get enough food to feed a single adult for a week, assuming that adult had some pantry items like salt, seasonings, and maybe butter or oil. It's very kind of her, and I know takes up a lot of her time and effort. 

Waiting to get our shot at some gratis groceries!

Third, I've been getting stuff through the app "Too Good to Go," where businesses sell food they'd otherwise discard at the end of the business day. It tends to be about 1/3 of the price of what you'd pay retail, and we've really enjoyed it. We got two bags from Whole Foods prepared food department last weekend that had amazing sandwiches and salads... one of the ciabatta sandwiches was marked $13.99 and we only paid $10 per bag, where the sandwich was about 1/5 of the contents! We got some great bowls from Honest Mary's last week. I got 4 TacoDeli bean, potato, and cheese breakfast tacos from a coffee shop for $3.99; they're $3.50 a piece on the TacoDeli website!

We're not hard up just yet, but it's kind of fun putting my former necessity-based frugality into action!

Did I Tell You About the Car?

A couple of months ago, we said goodbye to our white Fiat 500L. It had been mal- or non-functioning for months, and in the shop for several weeks prior to that. We decided at the time to see how we'd do with just one car, since James is still able to work from home and D doesn't have a job yet.

So far, it hasn't been too bad.

James has had to carpool with us on Sunday mornings, adding a little complication to his formerly carefree Sunday brunches. He just drops us off at the McDonald's where Mal meets his friend to play every week, then picks us up. Mal's friend went to California for a few weeks last month, so James got to relive his carefree dual car days. 

We've taken a Lyft at least once (Mal hates it; he says he doesn't trust the drivers). D has needed to get somewhere last-minute when James was out buying groceries. Besides that, though, it hasn't been bad.

Plus, when we added D to our insurance, the premium doubled! I thought it might not be as bad since D was 21 instead of 16. However, when we took the second car off, the price halved, so we're back to our "normal" premium.

A few weeks ago, I had the idea to try to get to my parents' house using public transit to get to the Amtrak station. We'd need my folks to get us the last few miles, but it seemed like fun to try.

When I mentioned this plan to others, two different friends offered to drive us to the Austin train station. That was nice, but would the purpose of testing out our local transit.

So Thursday morning we left our house pretty early to be at the local bus stop by 7:05 AM to catch the commuter bus out of our neighborhood.

We got to the Lakeline Park and Ride in plenty of time to catch the 7:50 bus that would deposit us downtown at 5th and Bowie, which is only a few blocks from the train station.

We took a detour into Whole Foods to get train snacks. Mal picked some gorgeous fruit from their prepared food bar, and I got a multi-pack of chocolate bars.

We were at the train station by 8:50, which was 10 minutes before the station itself opens. When we could get in and sit in the air conditioning, Mal ate a bunch of strawberries, we used the restroom, and the bus pulled in at about 9:20.

We boarded and were on the final let of our trip just a little late, but made the time up at the only stop between here and Temple.

Door to door, this trip was almost 4 hours longer than it would have been if we'd just driven. However, we had lots of walking and breaks built in, and I got to really visit with Mal without having to focus on the act of driving.

Plus, the $30ish I spent on train and bus tickets (Mal was free as a companion to my fares) was more than gas one way would have cost me, but a lot less than the insurance and other amortized costs of owning a vehicle for the past two months would have been (several hundred dollars).

We'll eventually have two cars again, most likely. A lot depends on if D goes to the community college (which is easily accessible by the first bus Mal and I took; that bus is actually an express bus to the school), if/where they get a job, and if James ends up with a different job that requires him to commute.

For now, we're skipping along just fine. When it's so cost-effective to do so, we can deal with a little inconvenience, for sure.

PS I asked James about this and he says he vacillates on whether or not it's worth it, mostly on Sunday mornings when his custom is to go alone to brunch. I guess he doesn't love being tied to the fact that we're out and dependent on him. How rude. 

Soooo.... #Covid19

Dear Diary,

I am not good at waiting.

Scratch that: I'm okay at waiting. As long as I know what is coming. And I'm in control of it.

I am very sad about the people who have gotten ill from the novel coronavirus that started making the rounds at the end of last year. I hope Tom Hanks and Katie Couric and all of the basketball players will get better, but I hope everyone will get better. I'm sure the effect in China is like 9/11 was here, only in slow motion: If you weren't affected, you know someone who was affected; it touches everyone.

Here in our house, we're mostly social distancing. James is working from home, which is his preference, anyway. D is typically home, except for banjo lessons. And this is spring break, so Monday would be a stay day, anyway. Our church has gone online for the time being. I'm still taking Mal to the park, and to Urban Air and the movies and other outings... but we're never around too many people.

Except for two weeks ago today, when we went to a birthday party and then to a community park and restaurant in Belton and THEN to the Round Rock Outlet Mall, where I'm guessing there were 7000 people... but the incubation period for that is over with, and we all seem a-ok.

I'm not worried or even concerned that we'll get Covid-19. I'm not worried about my family. I'm hopeful that the medical systems won't be overwhelmed and that the ill can get the help that they need. I understand why people are slowing down and backing out. I get it.

I don't get why people are hoarding toilet paper, but, let's face it. People are weird. And so far, there haven't been any documented cases in Travis/Williamson counties. Then again, there haven't been any tests available, so it's possible we ALL have it.

But here's the deal: We were supposed to go on vacation in a couple of weeks. I know, boo hoo. A lot of people have had vacation disruptions. Heck... I hadn't told anyone about this except my travel agent, but I'd booked us a Disney Merrytime Bahamain cruise for Christmas (oh, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to get that pun), leaving from Galveston and stopping at the ACTUAL Happiest Place on Earth: Castaway Cay. But we've lost more than the price of the cruise in the stock market in the past two weeks, so I canceled that. It's entirely possible we could rebound a rebook, but it doesn't make sense at the moment.

LIES. ALL LIES.

No, the hard part is the not knowing. Two of the places we'd planned to go on our immediately-upcoming vacation are closed through the end of the month. It seems unlikely they'll be open at the beginning of April, or even during the week we're to be in California. But will they refund us our money? I've reached out via email, but I'm trying to be patient since I know there are people already there who are scrambling to get out before the doors lock.

And even if THEY refund us what we've spent, will AA refund our airfare? Not allow us to rebook with no charge, but refund the tickets with no $200 per ticket fee? If they won't, there is somewhere we can go that will be great... assuming that places to eat are open. But who can tell what to expect so many yet so few weeks from now?

I'm trying to pretend that my brain is smoking pot and chilling out. But I need answers.

I realize this is a grade-A pain-in-the-ass problem. Like, people are dying. I'm a jerk. I get that. I wish I were different. I'm working on it.

In other news, 365 by Whole Foods was cleaned out when I went today. I did not panic buy anything, and we're not hoarding. It's funny that I subscribed to Charmin's Never-Ending Roll a few months ago. It's really been easy and mindless and great! Toilet paper is on the way! WHY ARE PEOPLE HOARDING IT?!

Anyway, my refusal to panic-buy meant that today, when I realized we were low on eggs and almost out of lactose-free milk for D, that there was none to be found. We bought about $100 worth of snack stuff to supplement our eMeals (I have ingredients for 3 or 4 more meals on our menu). But then I used the last of the eggs on lunch. So...

I decided to check out H-Mart. It's a bit of a drive, and I thought I'd hit the gas station first. I mean, their eggs might taste like cigarettes, but if they have them, they have them, right? THEN I thought of Dollar General. Guess what?

YAY!

So we're set on cereal, milk, eggs, and toilet paper has been shipped from the giant TP factory in the sky.

And NOW, at about 9:00 PM, we're getting ready to have our Papa Murphy's Pi Day special pizza for dinner. Our days just get later and later. But that's cool, man. Real cool. (See? I'm trying to be chill.)

Second Chances on Used Clothes

I decided to give Poshmark another chance. This time, I needed jeans. I mean needed. One of our stupid cats (the stupidest) had managed to snag a hole in my old jeans, which means it's just a matter of time until an unsightly run would start and... oh, what? I could just darn the hole? No. Because these were actually Pajama Jeans, and once they're compromised, it's all over.

Anyhoo. Jeans.

I had a strategy this time: I'd sort by cheapest first. Doing this, I purchased 2 pair of jeans at about $7 each, plus the $7ish shipping; so they were each around $15. That didn't seem too awful for a pair of gently used jeans that I kept from going into a landfill. Also, they weren't jeggings. They were jeans. I mean, they are jeans. I bought them in the past, but they still exist. Forgive my grammar.

Cut to today. Nope. Cut back to when the jeans arrived in the mail.

I took them out of the packaging to make sure I'd gotten what I ordered, and that they were in good shape. They were, so I put them in the closet. I kind of held them up to me, but they looked kind of small. They were in the size I think I wear, but Pajama Jeans only come in letter sizes and I don't trust the Woman Within sizes, as most of their stuff is super flowy and I'm on the small size of their "double-sized" sizes. That was a lot of the use of the word "size," but our lawn guy is weed-whacking and the washing machine is running and I can barely think, much less write.

SO.

I think I was nervous. What if I don't wear the size I think I wear? What if I've gained so much weight, I've moved up in sizes? That's not actually a problem (though it's likely something I should have sussed out before I purchased new trousers), but would be a thing I'd have to process. I've worn a size up before. I've worn a couple of sizes up.

And I left the jeans in the closet for a good week.

Last night, Mal and I went up to visit my parents and to spend the night. James is working from home right now (all of his company is #covid19) and started some training today, so I'm trying to keep Mal occupied for the next few days. We happened to get home right as James was finishing up a lab this evening.

When packing our overnight stuff, I decided to take one pair of those new jeans. Without trying them on. I figured that if they didn't fit... I'd just feel stupid and wear what I'd worn down there.

Guess what? They fit fine. They looked cute and were comfortable. And now it's too hot to wear jeans anymore. Hope they fit next season!

The Other Side of That Coin

I'm well aware that my last post, though full of thrilling twists and turns, was also extremely whiny and self-serving. So please allow me to put here another truth I know to be equal to my own feelings of loneliness in terms of keeping the house and the people in it: I do not pay for it. And THAT responsibility lies solely on the shoulders of my husband.

Simply: I do not possess the earning ability to maintain our current living arrangements, and in that way, James is our only hope of staying here in this place that we love (when there isn't machine-operated construction going on both across the street and across the other street, many days simultaneously, resulting in it sounding like it is IN our front rooms). I cannot imagine the weight of that stress.

If James does not like his job, that is unfortunately not the only thing he has to think about. He can't get fed up and just quit. And if he does ever seek out another job, it has to be a certain type of job, mainly exactly what he's doing now and has done since we got married, in one form or another. I think he'd be an amazing educator, but unfortunately, he simply could not bring home the kind of money we need to pay for our relatively inexpensive (for the Austin area) home on a teacher's salary.

Fortunately, he really likes the company he works for now. I definitely want him to be happy with where he spends so much of his time! They feed him two meals a day, too, which actually takes some of the burden off of me in terms of meal prep. Shortly after Mal was born, I was still making breakfast, packing James lunch, and then putting dinner together. I can't imagine doing that now (much less when Mal was SOOooo much... and I was so frazzled).

I've never been a good "business" person. I've been a "show up and try to do more than they expect" person at any job I've ever had, but I've never worked somewhere that I developed a deep passion for what might become a career for me... except maybe TCBY when I was in high school, but a different shop turned me sour on it when a bunch of weird stuff happened, like my being framed for stealing money, which I quickly disproved by having the manager look on the counter and see that I hadn't even taken the key home and someone else closed up after I left. And NOW, most TCBYs are self-serve, so... well, I'd still probably work there if I needed to make some extra bank. Again, though, that'd be a minimum wage job. I'm basically worthless.

I appreciate James's work ethic, and that he's good at something that lets me stay home with the kids and do what I love to do. I guess it'd just be nice to have an au pair or something who would only come out of their hidey-hole a couple of times a week, and who would work for free.

Now I have to go finish watching them install this septic tank. It's truly fascinating stuff.

How My Frugality Now Looks Different Than a Decade Ago

Right about the time our Instacart came up for renewal, Walmart Grocery started offering delivery to our address (which isn't exactly out in the boonies, but seems like it is to townies). I have no particular affection for the WM, which I partially blame for destroying my first marriage, but... their apps are so reliably functional and the product prices are so much less than Instacart's partner stores'. As what I'm certain is an intentional dig at the grocery delivering giant, Walmart also placed their annual delivery membership at exactly one dollar less than Instacart's.

All of this means that I have not gone to the store to buy ingredients for our cook-at-home meals (5 a week, more or less) in at least a year. It's probably even less, because I was doing Walmart Pickup or HEB Curbside and awful lot before that.

When D was little, I LOVED going grocery shopping. Whereas now, I pick meals from eMeals' offerings and get that stuff, supplementing with snacks and cereal, etc. back then, grocery shopping was a game that I played with great relish.

I clipped every coupon from the Sunday paper, even if I didn't think I'd use it. That was actually pretty cool, because if I were in line behind someone who was getting, say, a particular brand of cat food when I didn't have a cat, I could pass the savings on to them.  People knew I couponed (though I was never an "extreme couponer"), and often gave me extra inserts.

When the grocery sales papers came out on Tuesday, I'd look through and choose which store to visit. We had an Albertson's and a Kroger in Sherman, and I almost always chose Kroger. It was not as "nice," but it was a lot less expensive. Also, Kroger doubled coupons up to $.50 and tripled coupons up to $.35.

I'd look at what items were advertised as on sale that corresponded to my coupons. I'd make a list on the outside of an envelope, and stick the coupons that I definitely planned to use in there, taking the other coupons with me in case I found something in the store that wasn't advertised.

I headed to the store with an open mind, sure that if I found, say, hamburger on sale, I could find some cheap tomato sauce and pasta, and supplement that with a head of lettuce and some boiled eggs as a side salad.

Using this method, I went years without paying for toothbrushes, deodorant, salad dressing, or yogurt. For some reason, those were often both on sale and had coupons that meant I could stock up on several at a time.

I never shied away from perishable clearance items: meat, dairy, prepared produce. If it looked okay in the store, I knew we'd use it before it went south.

At the time, I had an "allowance" of about $400 a month for groceries. I'd try to spend $75 or less during any grocery run, and then have some left over in case we wanted to grab a soda or eat out sometime when I didn't have a mystery shopping job.

When I'd arrive home with a giant haul for just $75, I was proud. I wanted to tell everyone how I'd gotten 4 2-liters of soda for $.50. I know no one really cared, but it was exciting to me.

The main differences between then and now is that, first of all, stores (including my beloved Kroger) stopped bumping the value of coupons. That made the somewhat labor-intensive process of couponing -- some parents got absorbed in their phones when their kids were playing; I often used the down time to go through my accordion wallet of coupons, extracting the expired ones and fronting the ones that were about to run out -- less valuable.

Secondly, I started working, and really had to choose between couponing and mystery shopping. I still wanted to take my kiddo out to a restaurant on a single-parent budget, and got more mileage out of the shops than the coupons.

Thirdly, and most importantly now that I have nothing but leisure time anymore (have you noticed this is the fourth blog post this year??), going to the grocery store with Mal, with the intent of buying a lot of specific products off of a list, is just not fun. When he was little, he was just fussy. Now, he wants to look at toys... and, actually, he's at the age when I could just tell him to look at toys and I'd find him when I was done, which is what I did with D, but substitute "books" for "toys."

However, spending an entire hour in a store with a to-do list and that child is not the leisurely romp it was when I had a more compliant and self-entertaining child. Oh, memories are coming back. I distinctly remember listening to "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on my Walkman, using a splitter and two pair of headphones, when D was much too old to be sitting in the cart but was, anyway, and laughing so hard at Hermione sputtering through happy tears, "You boys... are so... STUPID!" What's funny about how memories work is that I know I was reaching into the freezer for veggies when that happened. (I was in the produce section solo, listening to "Forrest Gump" once, and blushed, grateful that other shoppers couldn't hear what I was hearing. The book is way grittier and more sexual than the movie!)

Mal and I went to Walmart last night, and all I needed to get was some make-up remover and a couple of frozen meals for D. We can handle that. We spend about 20 minutes looking at toys, and he's content to ride "like a trash man" on the cart so he can jump off when something catches his eye. Short trips without a strict agenda, we can do. Otherwise, I'm grateful for grocery delivery. I'm not engaging in hyperbole when I tell you that it's changed my life.

Adventures in Frugality and the Home Arts (?)

After the money-hemorrhaging late fall, I made a deal with myself when we got back from our trip to Arizona that I wasn't going to buy anything superfluous (i.e. other than groceries and medicine, basically) until after the New Year. It was sometimes a challenge, especially because Mal doesn't understand that kind of thing. But it was nice to reset and reflect on purchases I thought I wanted to make during that time.

For instance: I'd done a trial subscription to Grove, and like the products... but decided that now that I have the glass dispensers, I can buy the cleaning products at Target and save a bunch of packaging and the delivery as well as some money.

Another thing I really wanted was a very large suitcase for times when we fly and can check bags, or even when I'm traveling alone with Mal and it would be nice to have one big bag to maneuver instead of a couple of smaller ones. I had looked online, and am enamored with hard-sided luggage, and Away's specifically. There's also a luggage store at the outlet mall that is always having sales. But even for soft-sided suitcases, I wasn't seeing anything under $100, and mostly over $200, for the size I wanted.

I spoke with my parents about borrowing one of theirs, but our next trip is scheduled within a week of their travel, and I didn't want either one of us to have to make the return during that time either pre- or post-vacation.

I also looked at Goodwill, which seemed to have gotten an influx of off-brand, new soft-sided bags in three sizes (carry-on, regular, and large) just in time for Christmas. Even those were $50 for the biggest.

After perusing Craigslist for a bit, I found an ugly, brown, 30-inch American Tourister suitcase for $25. It sells for about $160 new, but I'm sure they don't sell it in that color anymore, because why would they?

I arranged to get it, then had the idea that we could personalize it a bit with a few patches. When I mentioned this to Mal at the craft store, he took charge and picked out enough patches that I almost could have bought a new bag at Goodwill, but at least this is a brand I know and trust, and it will be thoroughly ours.

We picked it up yesterday, and the cats were interested.

Looks like poop!

Too bad it doesn't smell like poop.

Mal got bored with the affixing process after deciding where everything would go. After ironing the whole lot, I realized that apparently the backing did not want to adhere to a synthetic fabric, so... I used super-glue.

Now our bag is ready for its inaugural outing as part of Team Dave's. Too bad it will have to wait a few months.

Mal picked out: A "Minecraft" heart (really it's just pixelated, but whatever), BB-8, and a slice of pizza for the front. The heart came with a "full battery" patch, too, which I think is a cool allusion to how you should feel recharged after a good vacation. I used it to cover the scuffed-up logo; we'll see if it sticks!

I am the one who picked the "seek adventure" patch. And we affixed the luggage tag we formerly had on Mal's now-too-tiny backpack to the handle of the new case.

Mal's second food pick, French fries, on the side mean we should be able to locate our otherwise boring brown suitcase from any angle.

Also, there was a slight tear in the back (disclosed in the sales post), so I taped it up inside and the outside, and added a little flair to that, too. Mal said, "Thank you for giving me a heart!"

As you can see: Cat hairs already.

I'm not remotely a crafty person, but this was fun, especially since Mal took ownership of the design and was super excited about getting it together.

SPEAKING OF SPENDING MONEY...

Hey-o! Guess what I'm doing right now?

Blogging.

Ha, yeah, smart aleck. Guess what else.

Give up?

Okay, I'm sitting in the BK inside of Walmart waiting for my tire repair or replacement... not sure which, so it's very suspenseful. Or it will be in an hour and a half; it really just depends on when they get to it. But truthfully, I'm glad they are able to get to it today. It's 4:30 and they close at 6, so we got it in just under the wire.

Not sure what happened to the tire, but I heard it deflating in our driveway when I was outside emptying the back to go wash and vacuum it. I just thought I was hearing a neighbor in his workshop using some kind of air pump. Sigh.

I got down to the stop sign leading to the highway when I realized that the steering was hard and that I heard gravel scrape when I took off, which isn't normal.

I did use my tire pump -- Did we discuss that? I bought one because my tires like to sigh a few pounds of pressure when it drops below freezing -- but as soon as I removed the air pump, the tire started deflating again.

THEN we tried to take the tire off so I could bring it in the other car, but those lug nuts were ON.

Oh, funny story: I also found, as I looked for the repair stuff to remove the tire, that my car CAME WITH A REPAIR PUMP. So I guess I'm giving mine to James, and I don't feel nearly as clever anymore, and I've wasted probably $15 on pay-air, as well as many minutes looking for a pump that would take a credit card.

Oh well. Again, the timing was pretty good because James is home and can stay with Mal, and because it didn't happen when the car was parked at the airport and we were out of town or something.

But also, it PROBABLY happened because I drove over something that is a result of all of the construction around my house. If that ends up being the case, I'm going to take a circuitous route home until they're done. They're usually really good about cleaning up, though, so that might be a coincidence.

We got out this morning to go to "brunch" at Mighty Fine. I tried their fried avocado burger. OH MY GOODNESS. Yes, get it all the way, even with the jalapeño mayo. SO delicious.

We'd taken separate cars so I could get D's Christmas present. You'd be surprised, but it fit in my wee Fiat 500L.

1) Yes, I know my car is dirty. I was on my way to wash and vacuum it when I realized the tire was flat.

2) Either it's just SUPER HOT AND HUMID or I'm having my first hot flash today. This morning, it was in the mid-60s, but felt so so gross. I'd dressed for like actual fall, and had a flannel shirt on over this tank top. I shed the flannel at the restaurant, took off my socks, and rolled up my jeans so they looked like pedal-pushers. I'm sure I look like a dork all the time, but I refuse to be uncomfortable. I don't see how kids who wear hoodies all of the time manage. I was about to freak out.

After grabbing the bike at Target, I went to Kohl's to pick up my free clothes. Yeah, you heard me. Remember the air fry oven thing we bought? I got $45 Kohl's cash back for purchasing it and ordered a few shirts online. I elected to pick them up at the store to save the $8 shipping, but NEVER AGAIN. This was easily one of the worst retail experiences I've had in a long time.

I placed the order, got the notice that my stuff was in, and went to pick it up. Apparently, they only had 2 of the items that I'd ordered for same-day pickup. Two were actually out of stock and canceled, and one was being shipped to the store. Well, duh. I wouldn't have gone to pick it up if I'd known there was more, and probably would have canceled the order altogether.

Also, when I went to pick it up, they'd moved the pick-up area away from the customer service desk and into the middle of men's sportswear, where there was nothing but a VERY mobile stand that Mal could barely look at or it would zoom across the carpet. The lady wasn't super enthusiastic about retrieving my order, and it took long enough that I easily could have just shopped myself.

Regardless, I went home and ordered two more shirts to replace the ones that had been canceled. I got one pick-up notice immediately, but had learned my lesson. It took a week, but then I got a notice for the second one... only. And a few days later, the third. So I went in today, and waited for my turn (they're extremely busy, as you might imagine... also, they've moved pick-up back to the customer service desk), and found out... THEY CAN ONLY SCAN ONE BARCODE AND PICK UP ONE THING AT A TIME.

Like, I get if I'd made a bunch of orders that I'd get multiple pick-up emails and have to deal with it. But initially, I only made ONE order, which resulted in FOUR DIFFERENT pick-up times and emails. So this woman scanned my first one, went back to get it. Her counterpart scanned my next one and went back to get IT. Then when she got back, she scanned my third. He brought the last two up, and I asked if he'd informed her. I imagine he did not and she's still back there searching for my shirt.

What is wrong with you, Kohl's? This is not a way to do business. $8 for shipping seems like a bargain now. Maybe that was the point?

I'd planned to go by World Market to get the rest of the kids' stocking-stuffers, since we'll be busy and traveling soon so this is my last time alone to prepare for Christmas. But I was so hot and irritated, I went home to put on shorts and then go wash/vacuum the car and hit Dollar General, which has the LEGO-esque gummy bricks that Mal loves. I was going to go to the drug store for James, too... but, tire squash.

Don't be jealous of my relaxing Sunday. I'm just glad I got so much sleep last night; I was ready.

Also, after having eaten that avocado sandwich, I don't feel like I'll ever be hungry again.

OH! Update on the septic: We didn't build over it. It's basically ON the property line, which should mean it wouldn't pass inspection, but it did. Maybe it got grand-fathered? Anyway, we're pouring root kill down it every three months now because where it is is ridiculous. The end.

ALSO, also... there's a lady here I often see at the McDonald's across the way. I suspect she's maybe homeless, and she's also extremely clean. But her clothes are worn in a way that it seems like she'd replace them if she could. I've tried to speak with her before, but she's quiet. It might just be that she's lonely. About half the time, she sits in the kids' area at the McD's, which I'd never do on purpose if I didn't have a children. I've dropped off gift cards to her before, but wish I could think of a better way to reach out. Any ideas?

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems... Not Really

We purchased our house just about three years ago. So it is that everything is renewable this time of year: pest and termite plan, homeowner's insurance, flood insurance, quarterly waste removal. Also, my automobile registration renewal. Since we're arriving at our home-owning anniversary, we are celebrating tomorrow with the emptying of our septic tank.

I had a septic tank at my house in Sherman; we lived there for seven years and didn't do boo to it, which brings me to a point I'd like to make: Life is cheaper in the long run for people who have enough wiggle room to do preventative maintenance. In Sherman, we got lucky, I suppose, that our tank functioned as it was supposed to for nearly a decade. Although it's only about $500 to have a septic tank emptied as a routine, once you have backing-up-into-the-house mess, it can be ten times that much.

I kind of understand the idea that when you are not "rich," life can be simpler. I never truly wanted for much when we were on a very tight budget. There were times I'd have liked to have gotten D bigger, nicer "stuff," but also had fun finding super bargains and leveraging mystery shops and other side hustles into surprises here and there.

However, it's just so much less stressful not living on the razor's edge of poverty. I got pulled over yesterday and released with only a warning (a benefit, I believe, of being an older lady) and although I was annoyed with myself for not noticing that I was doing 12 over, I was not particularly concerned about the financial impact of any ticket I might get. I remember having a near-nervous breakdown after having gotten a $200 ticket in Las Vegas when I was single. Paying it would have required making money materialize out of nowhere. I think I ended up using a credit card and was perpetually a few hundred dollars behind, which I HATED.

In addition to the house stuff, I just bought my first set of multi-focal lenses (for which our insurance paid some, but not most). D has started with a new therapist and we've had expensive intake sessions (again, yes, insurance... and it's good. It covers mental health. But not all.).

It seems like this happens every year: It feels like we're just hemorrhaging cash. And that is anxiety-inducing to me, just out of habit. Then it's a little disconcerting when we get to the end of the run... and it's fine. I don't ever want to waste money. I budget and try to spend wisely. Also, some of the stuff we're spending on is just fun: I recently paid a major part of our 2020 family vacation. We're getting ready to take a short trip where we'll have hotel and car rental expenses.

That's good; I guess it's all good, actually. It's good to keep our house up and functional (having taken a bath on the sale of the Sherman house, I have experienced first-hand the downside to ignoring maintenance).

In short, I'll just go ahead and confirm what people who are poor suspect: It's a lot nicer to have at least a little bit more money. It's nice to be able to tell my kids "yes." It's nice not to have to double up on the wash loads at the laundromat so you can have enough left over for a single soda. It's nice that I don't have to ignore those boards that have rotted through. It's nice to have the freedom to be somewhat generous. To have a routine check-up or dental cleaning as an option.  It's a lot less stressful. (And a study has shown a money/happiness correlation... to a point.)

I guess maybe the problem comes with making or having a *lot* of money, and then feeling like you have to live a certain lifestyle. I can see that being a joy suck.

I don't totally know what I'm trying to say here. I sometimes wonder if there would be a point at which I would stop really noticing out-going money from our household. If there is, we haven't reached it yet. I'll be glad when the bills die down a bit in a month or so. We'll be fine, of course, but right now, I'm really feeling it.

EDIT THE NEXT MORNING: I awoke today with the horrible thought of what if we built the pigeon loft on top of the septic clean-out?! We avoided every visible clean-out, but what if we missed "the big one"?? Stay tuned...

Black Friday... but first, Thanksgiving!

Okay, okay... we bit. There are a couple of "Black Friday" deals that we just had to move on.

The first is an iPad for Mal. It went on sale last night at 9 PM... it had been $329 until then, and that's still a pretty good price for a brand new iPad. Mal has a 3rd gen tablet now (they're on to the 7th gen at present) because I hadn't wanted to pay full price when we didn't know if he'd like it. We moved on to iPad after Mal got into games that were just killing his $40 Kindle. But now, there are a lot of games he loves, like Sonic Forces, that just aren't compatible with an older iPad. So when we saw they were going to be on sale for $250 last night, we knew now was the time! That's about $100 more than I paid for the older refurb, and it should run everything he wants to play. I just have to get an app to move his game data over. That sound like fun, right?

The other thing we got was a Ninja Foodi Air Fryer Oven. It's basically like a big toaster oven. And it's usually around $250, but was on sale for $229. Then it was even lower for Black Friday (I mean, I bought it Monday... the Monday BEFORE Cyber Monday; I don't question the timing on the savings.), with something like 20% off at Kohl's. Anyway, we got it for $152 AND we got $45 Kohl's Cash to spend next week, so it is almost like we got it for just over $100. D won't use our toaster oven because it is old and smoky. This thing is allegedly easy to clean, and can cook a batch of cookies or a 13-inch pizza. We'd been eyeing the June Oven when it was in pre-release, but it's still $500-700, and that's a lot to spend on a countertop cooker. So I'm super excited about this one!

Now we don't have to do ANYTHING tomorrow, except go pick up the Panda Express I ordered for lunch. We got a 20% off coupon from them on a family feast, and that sounded like it would probably be a welcomed change after Thanksgiving lunch and associated left-overs.

We're going to my parents' for Thanksgiving lunch in a bit. Right now, my guys are still asleep. We're taking some stuff for the younger kids to do (magnets, marble maze, etc.) as well as three dishes made with sweet potatoes: Chocolate cake (the batter was good; the icing was a little meh so I added powdered sugar), savory sweet potato mash with Morningstar Farms "bacon" and Swiss cheese (DELICIOUS!), and sweet potato mac and cheese (D taste-tested this one and pronounced it "so good" accompanied by rapturous eye-roll).

Those dishes are my passive-aggressive way of addressing two things: 1) Sweet potatoes deserve better treatment than marshmallows and cinnamon. (Cinnamon alone is fine; with salt.) 2) Sweet potatoes are GOOD (that one's for my husband). Basically, family love and all that. I mean, I like providing delicious treats everyone will love, too. I think even the kids can appreciate the macaroni (technically pennette) dish; the other might be a little much but if so, I'll gladly polish it off!

James worked from home yesterday, and I got done with my T-day prep pretty early, so we went down to Mozart Coffee Roasters to see their annual holiday light show.

It was a nice evening, and we enjoyed it. The last time we went, Mal was a year old and not feeling well. I think the finale that year was "Let It Go." This year, it was... "Baby Shark." Mal said, "That's not a Christmas song! But most of the kids were singing and dancing along, so it worked.

We need to leave in about and hour and a half, so it's time to get ready and start putting things in the car so I don't forget anything! Happy holidays, weird-os

ALSO... if you leave a comment, know that we read them all. For whatever reason, I can't leave or respond to comments. James can. Not sure what the deal is, but my email address is my first name dot last name at hotmail dot com, and you're welcome to email me any time! I'm going to add that to the comments area so everyone will know. Thanks for being here!

Putting Our Money Where Our Mouth Is

(I suppose we have a collective mouth? That sentence doesn't make sense, but I wrote it like a week ago, so I guess I'll keep it.)

We've been bandying this about for a while, and it seemed time to put up or shut up.

I'll admit that I dragged my feet on the global climate issue for quite some time. But now, we're at a point where it seems like a lot of action needs to be taken (ESPECIALLY by the something like 100 giant companies that produce 71% of our earth's greenhouse gases).

But, honestly, we can all act in small ways that might make a difference. You know, lots of people doing lots of small things can be a big thing.

Anyway, something I didn't even know existed and am, frankly, skeptical about, is that our electric co-op has a renewable energy rider. If you sign up for it, it costs less than $1 a month extra, and they provide your electricity strictly from renewable sources (water, wind, solar, bio fuel). I have a lot of questions about this: Is there an external source monitoring this? Do they guarantee it? Why, when it's so stupidly cheap, doesn't just everyone do it? Why didn't I know about it until I searched for it? Maybe they can't accommodate every single person choosing that? Anyway. Lots of questions. But we did sign up for it, anyway.

And now, we've decided, after ruminating for a bit, to take the plunge and get solar panels. We're aiming to produce about 90% of the electricity we use, so the financing should be about the same price as our electric bills would be during the summer. It'll be a little higher during the milder months, but also hopefully our net metering, wherein we earn credit for excess energy we produce that our electric company buys from us (at half what we pay them for their stuff, but that's business for you), will help make up for that at that time.

Regardless of if we end up paying a bit more out of pocket, James and I have both been trying to figure out ways to reduce our impact on the environment. Hopefully this will help.

Honestly, committing ourself to MORE debt (all we have otherwise is our house and car, but still...) and ANOTHER monthly payment has me all up in "buyer's remorse" territory, even though we still have three days to back out. But, again, the net is negligible. AND this is, for now, anyway, the last year the government will give us a tax credit for 30% of the cost to install. Next year, it goes down to 26%, then in 2021 to 22%... then it goes away. Also, existing and potential tariffs are affecting and threaten to affect pricing. So, again... we're kind of in a sweet spot.

In other notes, we placed one of our apple trees in a bad place, solar-wise, so we'll just have to be sure to top it in a few years, and every year after. James said that no one wants to climb 40 feet to get an apple, anyway, so this is probably just a super practical idea on its own merit.

That's it for now! Keep going, earth!

Our Sunday

This morning, Mal woke up asking to go to Target. I told him we would, but only on the condition that he agreed we'd look at the toys but not buy any. "We can look AND play," he informed me. "Yes," I agreed. "Look and play with the toys, but we're not buying any today."

Not that it's incredibly relevant, but on Wednesday, we went to Toys R Us to see how their closing liquidation was going, and they had a Vampirina play set he'd really wanted for some time on sale 25% off, which was a huge improvement over the paltry 10% from the week and a half before when we'd gone in. It's a big one, and they only had two left, so we bought it. Then yesterday, we'd gone to Target and had gotten three (more) Disney Cars for him to add to his collection. So he's cleaned up this week.

We went to Super Donut on the way, I got a lemon kolache and a maple bar, both were amazing, but Mal only ate his sprinkle doughnut and decided to bring the chocolate doughnut holes home to Daddy because he was READY to go to Target.

When we got there, he immediately picked out three Cars that he wanted to get. I reminded him gently that I wasn't going to buy toys for him today. He said, "Mommy, don't talk and don't move your head." I was quiet until he asked for help looking at another car, when I said, "You can look at it, but we're not going to buy it." Very calmly, Mal said, "Don't talk or I'll have to kill you."

He was sitting in the basket of the cart holding these cars, and I suggested we go to other aisles and look at other toys. While I did, he said, "Daddy told me it was okay to buy these cars." Like about 8 times. I said, "You don't seem interested in looking at other toys, so let's just go get our groceries." As we walked past the Cars aisle, I asked, "Do you want to put the cars back now, or hold them until we get up front, then the cashier will have to put them away?" He elected to hold on to them.

I picked up a few groceries and we got in line. Mal was holding the cars close, saying, "I'm a super hero, and I'm protecting my cars!" I again gently reminded him, "You can hold on to them for about 3 more minutes, then we have to give them back." He said, "Pew, pew, pew, Mommy; you're dead!"

After I checked out, I leaned into Mal and said, "I need you to give me these so we can leave them here." He was so so sad, but just let them go and started crying. He said, "Now no one can ever play with Disney Cars!"

Walking out to the car, he said, "I don't understand why we have money for groceries but not money for toys!" Ahh, the eternal conflict. I tried to explain that we have to eat, and we have to budget for food so we can live, and also that we'd spent a LOT of money on toys this week. He cried most of the way home.

When we got back, we were talking and he said, "I had the cars, but you STOLED them from me!" He was so sad for about an hour, then we got distracted by reading books. He actually picked out "Red Hat, Blue Hat" by Sandra Boynton, and read it to me first. He announced, "'Red Hat, Blue Hat' by Sandra Boynton." It was so cool! I remember reading when D was a child that it was important to read the author's name after the title, just so they'd realize that humans produce books. Anyway, he "read" the picture book mostly correctly, though he skipped the next-to-last page, then asked me to read to him. We went through most of our Boynton collection before James got home and we'd started in on The Cube Game.

Now... before I go on, I want to mention two things: It's taken YEARS, but more, when Mal has times of pushing back against limits to his autonomy (i.e. he would have gotten those toys under his own volition), although I sometimes am worn out, I am genuinely not frustrated or angry. I can empathize, because I've chosen to.

Also, some people would find the "threats" and talk of death horrifying, but Mal has only cartoon context for what "death" is, and clearly no violent intent, as he physically wilted, surrendering the toys when I asked, although maintaining his verbal dissent. I think this is actually quite mature. He will, of course, learn in time that threats aren't the ideal way to handle disappointment, but today, I think we both did okay. And I did laugh, hopefully mostly internally, at many of the things he said in trying to persuade me to come around to his way of thinking.

We ended up having a fun rest of the day. James and Mal walked down to the park while I helped a little girl who'd had a bike wreck across from our side yard, then I joined them for a while. It was a gorgeous day, and the lake was packed.

Concentrating mightily on the climb.

One more funny thing Mal said: Tonight, I was putting on his nighttime diaper, a thing he hates (ironically, he also hates using the actual restroom right now, too; we're going on three days with no business and I think I'm going to have to slip a softener in his drink tomorrow, so when he finally does go, it's not horrifying and painful). James was standing there watching us, and Mal said, "Daddy! Get this woman off of me!"

Benefiting from Other People's Mistakes

We've hit a run of good luck lately, in the form of confused cashiers, mostly.

First, we went into Chick-fil-A last week to redeem our February calendar card offering. I'd looked in the app before we went in, and the choices were either of the soups or an ice cream. When we went in, I told the cashier that I wanted the chicken noodle soup for me, and the ice cream for Mal. She asked someone via her headset about the February deal (it was a mystery offering, and this was maybe February 2?).

"It's soup or chicken nuggets," she told me. I told her that was fine; I'd take nuggets but still wanted to order an ice cream because I'd already promised Mal. We also got a large fries and a large drink.

When the cashier rang it up, she looked surprised and said, "Oh, it didn't take the chicken nuggets off." Meaning I was right. She finished the order, and when I looked at the receipt, I realized two things: First, I should have gotten the soup I got and then a tortilla soup to bring home to James because the soups are $3.89 and the ice cream is $.89. But also, she'd gone ahead and given us the nuggets for free, too. So we paid $4.14 for a large drink, large fries, soup, 8 nuggets, and an ice cream. Woo hoo!

Next was yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese. I went because this week only, they have a buy-one-large-pizza, get-one-large-thin-crust-pepperoni-pizza free. Their pizza isn't great, but the larges are like $13, so for two pizzas, which Mal loves, it'd be worth it. Plus, we had some credit left on our play cards from last time.

I told the cashier, "I'd like to get a large cheese pizza, and then I have this." I handed her my phone, which she looked at, and put the promo code in. I ordered a drink and upgraded to a take-home cup because Mal loves them. She said, "That will be $4.30." So she gave me the pizza I ordered for free, with no other pizza purchase. We ended up spending less than five bucks, had a ton of pizza, a fun time, and Mal got a rocket launcher, Airheads, and some gummy ring pops with his tickets.

Also, not to brag, but on our very last play credit, I did the wheel and got 100 tickets. It was quite the drama.

But still...

For all the money we saved and free stuff we received, yesterday I made a mistake that cost me a bit, too.

Chuck E. Cheese is really close to James's new office, so we went to meet him for his lunch after our lunch. In fact, he ate two slices of pizza while we walked around the Domain. I promised Mal we'd go to a candy store, and the closest one to where we were?

When we walked in, I realized that we were screwed.

See those little boxes? They're $7.50. EACH.

Mal ended up with this one box of gummy pig mommies and babies. It's interesting; he will only eat one or two at a time, then asks for (plain old, cheap) gummy bears. I don't know if it's because these aren't candies aimed at children, so they taste different, or if he has some inherent sense that they're special and doesn't want to waste them. I'm sure it's the first, though.

Oh, but there was cashier confusion here, too. The total, including tax, was $8.12. I handed the very well-dressed gentleman a five, 3 ones, a quarter, and two pennies. HE HAD AN IPAD IN FRONT OF HIM. Why he didn't just punch it in is bizarre to me. But after probably 15-20 awkward seconds of his staring into his palm, I said, "I just did that so you could give me back 15 cents and I wouldn't have any pennies." He looked at me blankly, and I willed "15 cents" to him so he would MOVE IT. He finally punched in the numbers and handed me back my change.

Sheesh.

(Incidentally, all of the candy here is $7.50 per box, or you can get three in a "Sugarfina" blue box-sleeve kind of thing for $25. So I guess the message here is "no free boxes." Sheesh II. It's not Tiffany's.)

Catching Up

It's been a hot minute since I blogged, I suppose. Heck, James wrote an entry about a week ago and I never saw it until just now.

Anyhoo, I was kind of waiting for a dramatic statement and the moment came and went, so it seemed like time to check in.

James lost his job the week before Mal's birthday. He had quite a lot of PTO, so I was thinking it'd be really cool if he got another job before that time elapsed, and we came out square, or even ahead. But we didn't. This time of year is a bugger for finding tech jobs. We're fully prepared to have to wait until after the new year. We'll be fine, we just have to dip into stuff that's supposed to be for our future... but I'm grateful that it's there to fall back on!

Incidentally, this round of job-hunting has been ridiculous. Tech jobs are a bear to acquire. There's typically a phone screen, then some technical test(s), then Skyping with people, and THEN an in-person interview, which might also have more tech stuff. Or variations on that model.

James has been applying mostly for remote jobs, but did have one live interview in Austin, about two blocks from where we used to live off-campus. It was a 3-hour interview, and he drove allll the way into town, and the guys who were supposed to interview him had apparently skived off early for ACL Fest. Another guy did interview him, but he was convinced that the "nice to have" portion of the job description (which James has never done and told them this before he ever went in) was actually mandatory. Then another guy in San Francisco did a video interview, but because it was two hours earlier than it was supposed to be (since he was supposed to finish up after the other couple of interviews), he hadn't actually looked over James's resume, and asked fluff questions that he wouldn't have had to ask if he'd been prepared.

Other than that, four different interviewers have canceled/postponed lengthy phone screens the day of, sometimes within half an hour of when they were supposed to start. In fact, one company who had scheduled James for a three-hour call first thing on a Monday contacted him early in the morning and said they'd decided not to hire until after the new year. Don't tell me that they didn't have that information before the weekend and just impulse-changed it at 7:45 on Monday. No. They could have told him earlier and saved him hours of preparation on Sunday night.

Also, there's the Mal factor. I've been getting him out of the house well before the calls are supposed to start, so James can have some mental prep space. And we get involved in something, then James messages me to say, "They're postponing until next week." Ugh.

That's a potential issue: We'd LOVE for James to work from home. One of the companies he's in process with right now (I think he's completed three of seven (!!!) steps, and had a second phone call postponed yesterday) says their guys only work 40 hours a week. If you are in tech or know anyone in tech, you know this is unheard of. It would be so cool for him both to be here AND to be able to turn it off after 8 hours per weekday!

However, Mal doesn't totally get the "I'm working" boundary yet. He gets it if James's blackout curtain is closed (yeah; the office doesn't have a door). But if James gets involved in something unexpectedly and doesn't shut himself in, Mal can't read body language and will go in there and start chatting, or playing guitar, or asking the name of an obscure Star Wars character.

So it falls to me to manage that.

Usually, if I'm involved in starting dinner or paying bills online or whatever, and Mal disappears into the back of the house, I don't have to stop what I'm doing to follow up. If James is working at home, I'll have to. It'll just take some getting used to.

With Mal and me getting out so much, we ARE eating out more often than usual, at a time when we are otherwise cutting back on spending. But I'm trying to be frugal about it, anyway.

Today, for instance, we went to Toys R Us first thing, with Mal understanding we weren't buying anything ("But I'm going to play with everything!" Great!). He played there about 45 minutes, then we left, and we did pick up a box of Cars fruit gummies for $2. Then we went to Chuck E. Cheese where we spent about 45 minutes and zero dollars. I had 33 credits left over on an old card, and Mal played enough to get a little rainbow lollipop and a few gummy Ring Pops. He was happy, and didn't mind leaving.

He DID want pizza, but now that he's 3, we'd have to pay for him to eat the buffet, and he doesn't eat $6.49 worth of pizza. However, I looked it up, and Cici's lets kids eat free until they're 4, so we drove over there and, even with my getting a soda, only spent about $8.60 for both of us to eat lunch.

We stopped at Target on the way home, for some lunch meat and household stuff I don't count as a "day o' fun" expense, plus Mal got to see more toys, so it was a bonus visit.

All told, we killed four hours at about $2.50 per hour, and came home really full. Not too bad.

Toys? Who needs toys. This Swiffer is my best friend!

So, that's what's going on around here. No cool stories about how we beat the system and made money doing it. But cool stories about, you know, it getting cool! Loving the weather and looking forward to Thanksgiving. And putting up the new tree for the first time. And Christmas. And a new job adventure for James.

This and That

We'll see how much of this I can get down... I was trying to be wise and use Mal's nap time well by putting dinner together. Instead, the first thing I did was to open the quinoa poorly, spilling it all over the kitchen floor, requiring a 15-minute sweep job that did not get it all up, but at least means I'm not getting it embedded into the soles of my feet whilst I work.

Oh well. Here goes:

See that kid up there? He just moved into the largest "baby" diapers we can purchase. He's not even two yet. If he outgrows these (they just say "37+ pounds," but I'm sure there's a cutoff somewhere, most likely his legs), we'll have to start forking over the major bucks that diaper-makers seem to think parents of elementary-aged kids who still need them can fork over.  Did I mention that he's still a year old?

Speaking of that, he officially cannot wear anything that's smaller than a 3T anymore. I'm bummed because I bought these very cute 3T shorts from Bert's Bees, but the waists were too big. They have ornamental drawstrings... why not just put ACTUAL drawstrings, dude? Anyway, we tried them on the other day, and the waists are STILL too big, but now the rise is getting too short. So he probably won't ever be able to wear them.

In other (kid) news: D's tablet has been with the manufacturer getting a tune-up for a couple of weeks. In its absence, she's rediscovered a passion she used to have: slime. On her own, she's researched various "recipes," made a list of what she needs, made test batches, and tweaked formulas to achieve the feel she wants, and has generally made a huge mess (but also cleaned up after herself). She said she's not sure of the science behind why what she's doing works, but she's curious. Curious is good. It's fun to see her "playing," and it's been nice to have her hanging out in the common area a little more than usual. Don't worry; we'll try not to get used to it.

James is plugging away at work. He realizes he has a good job, and that's good for all of us. I know if he didn't have a family, he'd be just as happy doing day labor and chilling when he didn't need money. I appreciate him. I love that he has every other Friday off, just wish his commute weren't so unpredictable and generally long, even on good days. We're trying to fix that shortly. (See what I did there?)

As for me, I'm almost three weeks into trying to "re-calibrate" my eating. Over the pregnancy and breastfeeding, I've gotten used to eating whatever, whenever. It seems like Mal's "on" every ten minutes, but I don't know how much he drinks anymore. I know he's still getting some milk, though, because when he had a stomach bug several weeks ago, he didn't eat anything for two or three days but never got dehydrated and had a day of newborn-like breast milk diapers. Anyway, I can tell that I've been starting to put on some weight, and I don't want that. I'm already dealing with the body changes that come postpartum and from entering middle age. So I decided to rein it in.

The thing is, I don't have a scale, so I have no idea what I weigh, and I don't have an iron-clad goal in mind. I just want not to have to look away at candid pictures of myself, and I want my clothes to be comfortable, not ride up or bunch, etc.

SparkPeople has decided that I likely burn about 1800 calories just hanging around being alive and all, so it's tabulated that I can safely ingest about 1550 calories per day. It is extremely likely that this is about half of what I was consuming before, so it hasn't been a gleeful three weeks, I'll tell you that much. But now that I'm starting to get used to it, it's better... even if I've often already eaten dinner by the time James gets home at or around 8 PM.

In the past few days, I've felt like I can start to see a difference. It might just be that I'm not full and bloated all of the time. Who knows. But I'm glad, because I hate hate hate having to think this much about what I eat, spend time inputting it, etc. It needs to be doing some good if I'm going to work on it. It's so boring and stupid. Seriously. I hate it. Necessary evil and all.

Along with that, I changed over from the kid-friendly eMeals program to the portion-controlled one (easier to keep track with all of the nutritional info). They have entrees and side dishes that are typically 500 calories or less. So far. I've loved them all, and so has the family. They get more than one serving, as it makes enough for six people; one's been working for me, though.

Coming up: James is off work Friday. The following weekend is Mal's birthday (!). Less than 2 weeks until the first Presidential Debate, and I want to make it like a Super Bowl party thing up at the clubhouse. No takers so far, but I'll totally do it, anyway. The Round Rock Chalk Walk is in 2.5 weeks; James hasn't been to that before. One month until we go to the State Fair of Texas (gosh, I wish we could make it to the Oklahoma Sugar Arts show the week before that). About 6 weeks until Mal and I go to a big homeschool Halloween party at the Thinkery. Less than 2 months until D turns 15 (!). We're planning to spend Thanksgiving at Port Aransas. Our lease is up in 31 weeks. So we have a lot going on. I love this adventure with my favorite people!

Thinking About Food (one of my favorite subjects!)

A couple of weeks ago, I heard a story on NPR about Leanne Brown. That story is here (though since it's been written, the download count has more than doubled). I immediately bought the book on Amazon and downloaded it from the website.

Since it came in the mail, I've read through it twice. I honestly think that every high school student or recent graduate should receive a copy, as it contains some awesome home economics at the beginning, especially, and throughout the book.

It's not strict "you must use exactly this much and to exactly this" kind of recipes. It's a thought-provoking book, with the idea of teaching readers to cook intuitively by getting comfortable with a method and experimenting. I love doing this, and I love anything that helps expand my imagination in this regard.

It has me thinking (and rethinking) a lot about how we cook. We are getting ready to move and are looking forward to having a bit more room to store things. Our pantry here has wire shelving, and it stinks because things get off-balance, and smaller items fall through.

We have been thinking about food storage and emergency preparation, anyway, and one of the things James said is that he read you should eat the kind of food you have in your emergency prep provisions, so that if you ever need to use it, 1) you've rotated it out so you're not stuck with old, rotten food and 2) you're used to eating that stuff so it doesn't feel like a huge change.

I'm not saying we're swearing off of fresh produce, but I think I want to purposefully implement some more dried stuff (beans, lentils, etc.) and canned stuff (modern canning makes many canned vegetables as nutritious as "fresh" out of season items, and much cheaper).

We've been doing eMeals for several years, and I love it. But sometimes the "buy it all for a week" thing doesn't work for us very well. Inevitably, we end up having left-overs or eating out one or two days during the week, and that cilantro I bought eight days ago... sad. Fortunately, now their app lets you pick as many or few meals as you want with their customizable meal plan, so I only get 4 of each meal (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) and that usually does us for at least 7 days.

But one of the things we're also thinking about as we prepare to move within the next year is proximity to a smaller shopping center (like we used to live fairly close to Fresh Plus in Clarksville) so that I could ideally ride a cargo bike to the store two or three times a week, This would allow us to buy only a bit of produce at a time, so it would have less of a chance of going south -- and, by the way, thanks to my Facebook friends for the vinegar soak idea -- but it would also allow us to take advantage of specials and sales.

For now, though, I'm still thinking about things.

In fact, Friday, I decided I should try to do something with some of the lentils we've had in the pantry forever. I'm going to be honest: If we didn't have the Instant Pot (IP), I'd have been a lot less excited about working with them, but with our IP, I can decide to have beans for dinner using the dried beans I found at lunch time.

I ended up making lentil burgers on Friday. They were delicious! The internet rocks. I just thought, "I know you can make lentil burgers," so I Googled it, and there were tons of recipes. The one I used had bread crumbs and oatmeal as well as some carrots, onions, and herbs. The patties were amazing. I made them large and square because we didn't have buns, only regular bread. So, so good.

When I was in the pantry retrieving the lentils, though, I noticed something. We have a lot of stuff in there.

So my new goal is to see how long I can go without buying major groceries. Like, without taking a full-fledged trip to the grocery store. And when I do, I want to see how little I can buy, and how much we can save so we can have more money to put toward our savings, our move, or whatever.

By the way, I have quite a few of the GoPicnic "meals." I adore them for several reasons: They're delicious. They don't have to be refrigerated. They're balanced. Most are non-GMO and some are gluten-free. They are portion-controlled. They are easy. But just to put it in perspective, if you pay full price for them (and I have not yet), they're $4. That's the entire DAY'S allowance for food if we were on SNAP.

I think we can tighten our spending a bit. I'm excited about the neat ideas, mostly meatless, that Leanne Brown has. I am also looking forward to getting more protein in my diet. That's the one thing on which I am consistently low any time I track what I'm eating. I don't adore meat (tonight, James and I had BLTs for dinner, but I just had an LT with cheese), but I do like beans and their versatility, and I love nuts and nut butters.

Oh, one of the things Brown mentions in her book is how shrimp can be a treat, and stretched to make them cost-effective. That's definitely one to buy when they go on sale. I remember back when D was very small and I was trying to lose weight, I'd just heat up cooked frozen shrimp in some chicken broth, then throw in spinach leaves toward the end. It was a LOT of protein in a tiny package, and the soup was so tasty.

Another fish she uses as "flavor" is anchovies. I've never had one before, but I'm willing to try. Here's to new culinary adventures, and budget-friendly ones, at that!