Unambitious

Every once in a while, I jump onto LinkedIn to see if a person I no longer have access to through other social media has an account there so that I can check in with them. Today, I happened to notice that an old friend of mine had founded a new business, called Beyond Motherhood. Amy's a very neat person, and it's super cool that she's helping women figure out what they want to do with their lives. But a lot of things I have realized about myself recently have helped me know that this site isn't for me. 

For one, there's this quote: "Motherhood is holy work, but the hands-on, active phase only lasts 20-25 years for most women. If you still have half your life left when the kids leave home, doesn’t that make you think you have a purpose beyond motherhood?" When Mal is 25, I will be 67. I will not have half of my life left, unless medicine progresses ridiculously rapidly over the next couple of decades. (I know this is one reason she said "most" and not "all." Then there's the moms of special needs kids. And the ones who become grandmas raising grandkids. Etc.)

Beyond that, though... I have this pattern of basically not caring about jobs. I mean, I'm an over-achiever and if I have a job, I'll do what I need to do, and I will try to do it very well. I will probably even do more than is strictly necessary. But I've never had ambitions, or fantasies about a dream career.

Well, I wanted to be an astronaut until I realized that you had to have uncorrected 20/20 vision (at the time; this has changed) and it broke my heart. Then I wanted to be an actor until I was in college and saw what some people had to do to get jobs. Then I realized, "Oh, I don't want it *that* bad." And I'm not talking about anything super shady, just the networking and knowing who to know and interrupting someone's dinner plans to insist on an audition.

My first job, at age 16, was at a Kentucky Fried Chicken, or KFC for you young 'uns. I was very bad at being able to tell the chicken breasts from the chicken thighs, and I got so stressed working the drive-through. I could not focus on a conversation with the person in front of me while also taking an order over the headphones. And I could NOT upsell. "Would you like a hot buttered corn-on-the-cob with that?" If they wanted it, I'm sure they would have ordered it. Fortunately, I got strep and my doctor told my mom it was probably from the filthy environment there, so I got to quit after six weeks.

Next, I worked at a grocery store. I did bagging at first, then went to (I kid you not) checker's school. I learned the codes for 200 different produce items, how to count up change in case something went wrong with the register's calculations, and also that I had to call someone to help me when someone bought alcohol, because I was too young to sell it. I worked with a good friend, and that was fun. 

Then I got what I felt was an upgrade and worked at TCBY for the remainder of my high school years. I adored that job. People who are going out for frozen yogurt are rarely in a bad mood. And we got to eat as much yogurt as we wanted, for free.

When I was in college, I worked at a baby and pregnancy clothing boutique, then a day care, and finally at Sonic. I LOVED working at Sonic. I was a carhop, so I got to be outside. I learned that if you're really nice and they're having a good day, sometimes people will tip you a generous amount. Man, what a wake-up call that was, and I apologize to every carhop I had as a teen because I genuinely had no idea.

After I graduated college (with a BA in theater, so that was a lucrative choice), people seemed shocked that I didn't immediately quit Sonic. I got tired of being asked, "When are you going to get a 'real' job?" so I applied for a starter position with the local newspaper, which was owned by the media group for which my dad worked as their HR director. In my interview, my boss told me, "I'm going to be honest with you: you're getting this job because of your maiden name."

So I was working in an office... but because of the Sonic tips, I was making LESS money. I felt like I'd been duped by the idea that somehow office work was more mature or honorable than running food.

The next job I had was because we moved, and I quit the newspaper. I signed up as a substitute teacher in the then-small town of Siloam Springs. It was irregular and stressful, and after one day subbing at a junior high, I called the office and told them I'd do elementary or high school but NEVER jr. high ever again.

Then we moved to Las Vegas, and I got a job working at Sam's Club. I was at the registers first, then worked freezer/cooler for couple of years. When the company decided that I was too much trouble and wanted me out (I had a problematic coworker and kept reporting him for creating a hostile work environment with his incessant sex talk), they moved me to electronics with no training, and let me flounder answering questions about computers about which I had no specialized experience. Then they wrote me up when I wasn't "the same employee" I'd been when I was helping customers locate the frozen chicken I'd just stocked an hour beforehand.

The job I got after this was the one I had the longest: I started in a temp-to-hire position as a receptionist for Terra West Property Management. I got fully hired, served as the receptionist for a few years, took a blip of time off to work as an "expediter" for one of our tech vendors (I had to call the lead tech up every morning and make sure he was awake and out of bed to be on time for his appointments). Then I returned to Terra West as a property manager. I got my real estate license, and enjoyed the work enough... but I didn't take it nearly seriously enough for one of our biggest clients. He insisted at one point that the company fire me, which they did not. But they did bury me far away from him in a completely different department. I worked as the main internal tech person at the company for almost a year, before I had D and quit work entirely.

Kind of.

The idea was that I would stay home and D's dad would find a job to make up for our shortfall, as I was the primary bread-winner at the time. That didn't really pan out, so we got a job together working as house parents for Girls and Boys Town of Nevada. Staring a job like that with a 2-month-old was stupid. We lasted half a year.

I was mostly home for 9 years. When we moved to Texas, I signed up to do some mystery shopping. Over time, I signed with more companies and typically had at least 6 jobs a week. I loved it because D could come with me, and I could accept jobs as I willed. I often didn't do the jobs that didn't seem worth it, and I relished the jobs that included things like spending a night at Great Wolf Lodge; or having dinner at Rainforest Cafe, then doing their internal Build-a-Bear. We got to go to Ripley's Believe It or Not! and Mme. Toussaud's Wax Museum. I did a battery of mystery shops at Six Flags once. I'd pack a bunch of fast food jobs in a big old circle around north Texas, and D and I would get food and listen to the Harry Potter audiobooks.

And then something kind of unbelievable happened. I'd been writing skits and things for church for years, and from that ended up with the opportunity to write for commercials and even a television trailer for a reality show called "The Shot" that was to feature former athletes who'd almost made it, and were competing for a second chance. 

But something interesting happened during that time: 1) I didn't really enjoy the writing when I was getting paid. It wasn't as fun as, say, writing this blog. 2) When the paid gigs came, that was cool... but when they didn't I wasn't upset. I'd written some for "Travel Weekly" when I lived in Las Vegas. That was very lucrative. It was infrequent, and I just never thought, "This writing thing is great. I could totally freelance for a living."

When I got divorced, I needed to work. I didn't want D to have to go to school amidst all of the other upheaval, so first I just had friends hire me to do cleaning and organizing. That was going pretty well, and then I got the call from the insurance agency offering me a job as... a receptionist (again!), and with an empty adjoining office for my kiddo. It was perfect.

After I'd been there a while, my boss started encouraging me to get my insurance license. I couldn't legally sign people up for policies unless I had my license, even though I was doing most of the practical work up to actually starting the policy for auto insurance at the time. Eventually, I dragged my feet enough that he gave me a deadline. I studied, and I passed the test on my first try. Minimum score to pass: 70. My score: 70.

They were kind enough to retain me when I moved to Austin, which, as you might imagine, put a dent in my "reception" abilities. I did customer service, virtual filing, and some newsletter and website stuff remotely. My boss again encouraged me to try to sell here in Austin, and he'd move me to commission, and I had the potential to make a lot more money. But I was satisfied with my reliable pay and familiar work.

Once again, I just didn't have higher aspirations. I was content.

I quit that job shortly before I had Mal, and have been full-time mumming ever since.

Then over the past few months, a friend of mine who is a copyeditor has been dropping hints about throwing some work my way. Finally, she told me that she had a book she thought I could help a guy with. I thought about it and talked it over with James, and realized that I had some editing baggage left over from another situation. But when I talked about this with my friend, she took it upon herself to decide that she'd pressured me too much (she hadn't) and that she wasn't going to mention it again.

I was *so* relieved. I wanted to want to do it. I thought the extra money might be nice. I wasn't confident I could commit any more than about 2 hours per day to it, and even then I wasn't sure where I was going to find those 2 hours. 

But I am just pretty satisfied with the pace of my life, and my responsibilities, and don't have any kind of drive to add anything new.

I have another friend who was very frustrated about having been put on light duty with a fire department where she worked after she'd had a baby. She could have stayed home on leave, but she wanted to get back into the action. She told me, "I am not the kind of person who can be satisfied with having gotten a load of dishes done during the day. I need something more." She ended up moving to another fire department so she could do actual fire stuff instead of just dispatch. And I'm glad she's getting the workouts and professional socializing that are so important to her.

I don't have that. I don't have the drive, or the need, or whatever it is that makes people antsy about being home.

When (if) my kids are up and out, I'm not particularly worried about what I'll do. I won't feel "aimless." I can think of MONTHS worth of stuff I could do if my time were strictly my own. I don't feel overwhelmed by the possibilities, or the unknown, and I am not worried that I need to be "more" than I am. I'd say that maybe I'm just lazy, except I'm not. I work hard every day. I guess I'm just not entrepreneurial or ambitious. I don't care what job I have, much, as long as it's not soul-sucking. If we need money, I'll go out and do something where I can work for a day, and come home and do whatever I want. If not, I can volunteer, and to out and take pictures, and maybe live in an RV again. 

I don't think that all people are called to be parents. I am glad that some people have work that they absolutely love so much that it's a big part of who they are. I definitely want my services and food and healthcare and everything else delivered by people who can't imagine what they'd do without their jobs. I appreciate that in the folks who have it. I'm just not one of them.

Speaking of taking photographs, I wanted to share this one because I love it so much. These are a trio of young ladies at a homeschool hangout. I love how "Texan" it looks. And I love how it shows that you can do mostly nothing and have a great time doing it. 

COVID-lyfe Chuck E. Cheese review: They're trying!

I'd promised Mal that I'd take him to Chuck E. Cheese today after his doctor's appointment (just a spoonful of sugar and all that jazz). I'd been following the emails explaining what they would be doing to try to mitigate spread of the coronavirus, and it didn't sound like it would be too imposing. The actual result is just a little sad, though.

First, I asked Malcolm which location he wanted to visit; there are two equidistant between the doctor's and our home. He chose the one where we had his 4th birthday party because it has his favorite game, where you get to be a truck driver and pull on the horn. Now, I DID know that they'd said they were going to close some games down to keep people distanced. I didn't think about that when Mal was getting so excited about one specific game.

We arrived just at the arcade opened, and immediately there was a problem (for me; probably not for you). If you read my previous post, you now know that I'd left my phone at home. Instead of doing the blacklight-visible stamp on each person's arm, to cut down on physical contact, they now have you take a selfie with your kid(s) so you can show it to them on the way out. Just as the lady was calling a manager to see what to do (answer: bracelets), I remembered that I had not one but two actual cameras in my purse. So we took a selfie and went in.

I was wearing a mask when I was interacting with an employee, but since there were only two other families (dad/son, mom/two kids), we were able to keep plenty of space between us and I did not when we were playing.

Mal cried when he saw that the truck game was one of the ones that got axed for social distancing. Then he HOWLED when he saw that the Caribbean pirates shooter game was also closed. I showed him that the Spongebob game was live, but when we activated it, it was SO LOUD that Mal ran away from it. Also, it wasn't working right, not registering "whacks" for points and therefore tickets.

I was about to ask if they could cancel my pizza order (a last cheese hurrah for Malcolm before the dark, dairy-free days ahead), when we saw Monkey Ball, another of Mal's favorites. We started to play it... AND IT WAS SO LOUD.

I asked the attendant if there was any way to turn the games down at all. She said there was not. There actually is; I've had employees do it for me before. Regardless... I went back out to the car to get Mal's headphones.

I don't know whether the games just seemed loud because so many were closed and the ambient noise was lower, or because we just haven't gone anywhere in three months, so we've gotten used to a more quiet life. Regardless, I could have used headphones.

The two-player games were all only working on one side (except for air hockey, since that would be pretty pointless).

When I realized this, we went back and looked at the Caribbean game. One side WAS open! Mal played that about 30 times.

After maybe 20 minutes, both other parties left, and it was just us inside of Chuck E. Cheese for about an hour and a half.

The playground areas were off-limits.

Anything was for more than one person and couldn't be halfway shut down was just closed altogether.

I do hope they'll keep the drink spacing this way for all eternity. I swear, no one's going to die of thirst if they wait fifteen seconds for the person in front of them to finish filling up those communion cups that Chuck E. Cheese gives out when you order a soda.

One weird thing: They didn't have any lids or straws out. I have straws, and they might give you a lid or a straw if you ask. But they weren't out. And the napkins aren't on the tables anymore; there are many fewer napkin dispensers and they're placed in a common area. I'm sure that saves time cleaning them. It's another thing I think would be great to keep permanently, even after we have a vaccine and this thing passes in seriousness fourteen years from now.

Chuck isn't making in-person appearances, which is fine with Mal. Mal is freaked out and hides from the mouse (rat?) every time. This location does happen to still have the old animatronic thing that did come to "life" a couple of times. They also played a KidzBop-style cover of "Sorry, Not Sorry" at least three times in the two hours we were there.

This Chuck E. Cheese is on the border of Austin and Round Rock; I'm not actually sure which one it is in. I'm guessing Austin? Anyway, Austin has recently passed a resolution that goes into effect I'm not sure when (maybe already) that masks are again mandatory in public. Although our illustrious governor has said that private citizens cannot be given citations or arrested or punished in any way for not wearing masks, he has now said that it's fine for businesses to require it and enforce the wearing of masks. And the city has said that if businesses are not enforcing it then THEY can lose their business licenses. This whole thing is bass-ackward. Some dude making $11 an hour at Chuck E. Cheese shouldn't be the one trying to get idiots like me to wear my mask except when I'm physically eating or drinking. If it's mandatory, then it should be, like, an enforceable law. It's an individual's responsibility, not a business's (for their employees? yes).

Regardless... just as we were cashing out our tickets to go, three or four families came in at once. The manager, who hosted Mal's birthday party, actually, came over to us with surgical masks and asked if we were going to hang out. I said no, and he said, "Okay, because you're going to have to wear masks now." I told him we had masks and put mine on. I didn't make Mal because, again, he wasn't talking to anyone or getting close, and we were on our way out. The guy was super pleasant.

I support wearing masks. I know that restaurants and bars are exempt from the mandate, but that's supposed to be after you've been seated. At Chuck E. Cheese, that's only like 1/5 of your time there. So I get it.

However, between so many games being closed and then the idea of having to be masked the whole time... it was just kind of not the full experience. We'll probably wait until that vaccine seventy-two years from now to go back to places like this. I also canceled our reservation for tomorrow for Urban Air. If they have to require all of their guests, including jumpers, to wear masks... meh. (I mean, also, it's likely that Mal's digestive stuff will be iffy tomorrow - see previous post - so that and trampolines don't mix.)

So, even though it's sweltering and indoor places to play would be nice, we'll stick to visiting family and playing in water until it's safe to get back out/in there.

Updates, including the fowl sort

The other morning, James came down the hall to leave for work, freshly-showered and wearing a "public radio nerd" T-shirt. It struck me that, if I were a single woman who knew him as the guy who came into my coffee shop every morning, or who worked with him, when I saw him, I'd think, "Well, of course that guy is married. They're all married." (James added: Or gay. Also true.)

We've been married just over six years, and together about seven. We certainly do things that irritate each other. But the fact is, and I should likely think on it more frequently, that everything I ever found important in a guy -- empathy, humor, brains, fun, stuff I can't write about here -- James has in a big way.

When I told him this, he was suspicious that I'd eaten his ice cream, but it's true. He's the whole package, and I'm married to him. Lucky me.

I don't believe I mentioned it here yet, so: We got chickens! They have been an absolute joy so far. They're still babies (about 9.5 weeks old) and are growing in their combs and tail fans. We have six, hopefully all hens, and it's been such a balm to look out at that loft and know it's not sitting empty, and expensive reminder of carnage.

I do, of course, live in abject fear for their mortality when they're out; I'm still gun-shy about predators. But we further secured the loft, and are home keeping an eye on them when they're free-ranging until they are a little bigger.

D has spent time with them, and they are so much more domesticated than the pigeons. They don't mind human touch, and will even perch on you if you sit still very long. I mean, they also pee and poop then so I don't recommend allowing that to go on for very long. It's cute, though. Birds are so light.

On the one hand, wanting to be around while the birds mature means that we can't do an overnight in San Antonio, like I've been wanting to do, or go visit my parents for the day for a while. On the other hand, hanging out around here, and not being in the car, is great for the summer heat. Also, it will help us save money for a family trip we've been planning for more than TWO YEARS next summer.

We went to the pool for the first time this season this week. Then Mal had a friend come over after swimming, and they had fun together. We might go over to her house tomorrow.

James is actually on his way home to work from here because all of the electricity is out in his building. Yeesh.

That means it's make-up time. Have a great rest of the week!

Rube Goldberg days

James is home today for Memorial Day, and when Mal just announced that he'd started pooping a little and needed actually to go, I kindly informed James it was his turn, since I'd already handled one of those, and at Target, no less.

I was finishing up reading an article, so James gamely attempted to handle the task. But at the end, he needed to put Mal's drawers in the washing machine because he'd rinsed them out and they were damp, and we don't like to put damp clothes in the hamper.

The only issue with that is that I'd started laundry a couple of hours ago and hadn't moved the clean clothes into the dryer. So I got up to do that. Since James needed to wash up, I took the pants from him and put them in the washing machine. I started the water running and was putting some soap in when I realized that the "no spill" insert in the soap jug had detached and fallen into the soap.

I tried to fix it manually, but it was too slimy to get a grip on, so I had to get a pair of pliers... and that worked, but so much for sitting and taking it easy while James did all the work.

Anyone else have those times when it seems like you're trying to do one little thing (or nothing at all) and it becomes a big series of drawn-out things?

In other news, Mal and I did NOT have a quiet Friday, but it was cool. Just before lunch, I noticed that the Aladdin live-action reboot had just opened, so I asked Mal if he wanted to go, and, to my surprise, he did! We bought tickets for the show an hour from then, and it was almost sold out already.

We left immediately and had time for some ice cream at Baskin Robbins first. While we were there, "Johnny B. Goode" was playing in the store, and Mal said, "That's the same guitar and singer as 'Route 66'!" Now he knows Chuck Berry by name.

After the movie, which we thoroughly enjoyed, we went to the mall because Mal wanted to play on the indoor playground. James got off of work just about the time we got to the mall, and he met us there in Build-a-Bear, surprising Mal.

Eventually, I came home to make dinner (beef stew, THANK YOU, Instant Pot... it took an hour and tasted slow simmered!), and James and Mal walked in right as dinner was ready.

James and Mal are outside now playing with water balloons, so I'm going to go try to research a few things I've not had time to do with a busy 4-year-old who desires constant companionship!

Running and running and running, like a constipated wiener dog

Good news to start: After kind of sinking into a mild depression and getting really bogged down in that, I realized that I'd been doubling up on allergy medicines most days, trying to avoid asthma. While I understand I can't take more than one specific type of medicine per day, I hadn't really researched taking a couple of different ones. So I stopped. And after a couple of days, my regular energy came back, so that's fabulous.

Speaking of which, here's my week's goings-on, for your enjoyment. And this is basically a typical week, just so you get an idea of how this whole "unschool preschool" looks for us:

SUNDAY:
Mal and I went to church, then afterwards, I took him to a splash pad that's really close to the school where our church is held.

We came home and had lunch, then Mal really wanted to go to Jump Street... so I took him there.

MONDAY:
We stayed home until D had banjo practice at 3:30. Mal wanted to do pixel art, so we made a couple of characters from Teen Titans Go! (Mal's already broken one of them, plus The Flash emblem I made him several weeks ago). C'est la vie.

Mal is pretending with some stuff we keep on the table, since it takes a while to set up these puppies.

Starfire and Cyborg

While D was in class, Mal and I went to CVS to look for gummies. We found some fun stuff at the Claire's encap, too.

TUESDAY:
As soon as Mal got up and around, we drove to Temple. Hannah and Chance were there, and he and Mal had a good day. They played together, blocks and tinker toys, then we took the boys to Little Land.

We went back to Pappy and Nana's for a while, then Mal was ready to go to the water park. At first, he wasn't thrilled with getting wet, so he played on the playground.

Then he decided getting wet was okay, in limited doses.

He ended up back at the playground, though. Mercifully, it was shaded. It's already HOT in Texas.

This slide isn't in the shade. I was sitting in the shaded part.

WEDNESDAY:

Mal woke up and got ready for his day late enough that the first thing we did was go to McDonald's... for lunch. Nana and Pappy went with us, then we started back toward Jonestown.

On the way, we stopped at the Round Rock Outlet Mall, where Mal wanted to visit the Disney Store. But first, a visit to the also-shaded playground there.

We didn't find anything we *really* needed at the Disney Store, but we DID get some Cars, kind of, by going to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate shop, where we purchased a few chocolate cars that Mal played with in the food court before we drove the rest of the way home.

Mal asked me to take him somewhere Wednesday evening, but I was worn out! He could go forever.

THURSDAY:

Mal woke up at 10 AM, but was ready to go to the library just as story time was starting. Two of his friends, Alexei and Fox, were there (plus Alexei's little sister, Anya), then after the craft, we went to the lake to play for a bit with Fox.

As we left the park, Mal requested a visit to Target. I needed several things, in addition to the water balloons he wanted, so we went. We started off with a cheese pizza and apple juice (for him, soda for me), then shopped. I think HE got a bit worn out!

We came home and played with some of the water balloons, then played with play dough and cookie cutters.

Mal was rarin' to go to Lego time, but it was too early to drive over, so I asked if he wanted to walk to the library this time. He did, and GOOD GRACIOUS, it was 91 degrees and about 80% humidity. It was Orlando hot, friends. But it's GORGEOUS around here, so difficult to get too mad about it.

Mal was the only kid at Lego time except for the library director's sons. He had a good time. He was enjoying himself so much independently that I got to go browse the books for the second part of the hour. It was great!

Then we walked back home to get ready for dinner.

Fingers crossed, I would love to stay home tomorrow. But Mal might have different plans. We'll see soon... right now, he's requesting that we go to bed. He doesn't have to ask me twice!

Unschooling on the High Seas

Our last day on the cruise was an "at sea" day. I took a ship's tour (James was supposed to have gone, too, but then Mal didn't like the kids' club, so we had to choose a designated parent, and he volunteered to let me go; I accepted), and we did all of the "must-dos" that we wanted to hit. We didn't go to the pool at all, which is a little surprising, but it helped us not be sunburn-tired and our suits were drier when I packed.

What I wanted to note, however, was about how much my son brings up as games "drills" that many educators use in "teaching" kids in school.

When I came back from the ship tour, Mal and James were playing "rhymes." Mal picks a word and then, naturally, everyone takes turns thinking of words that rhyme with it. It's fun because Mal "gets" rhyming, but also then sometimes thinks that the same vowel sound in the middle of a short word means it rhymes, and we get to gently say, "That's close, but the end is different" so he can tweak it. And we only play as long as he wants to... which is generally longer than it's fun for us, as is with most things.

Another thing he likes to do is ask, "What words start with 'c'?" And he'll start with one: cookie, cat, cake, etc. Then, again, we just go around doing that until he is ready to move on.

Something he started after a few days of using the elevators was that we'd get on and he'd say, "Mom, there were three people on here, and now two guys got on. How many is that?" Usually, I'd guess wrong so he'd have to correct me. He'd finish up the lesson by saying, "It's five! Because three plus two equals five!" This activity was hampered a couple of times by his forgetting to count himself, which was also interesting.

The whole thing was fascinating to me because we've never introduced these things; it has been his idea. He is just curious about the world, and how things work, and how they fit. This learning and building has sprung from his natural curiosity... and I think we all know that is the BEST way (and most fun way) to learn things.

On the other hand, he has no idea how to shape most letters or numbers (he can do "1" and "l" and "0" and "o"). Before we left, he was taking a bath and we sprayed some shaving cream on the bathtub wall. He'd smooth it out and draw shapes on it. At first, he was asking, "What does this look like?" after he'd make a doodle. He liked the more ridiculous guesses best. I'd say, "It looks like someone was skiing down a mountain and fell and flipped three times." He'd laugh at that. But if I said, "It looks like a snake," he'd say, "No. Pick something else." But then he'd tell me what HE thought it looked like and it would be more literal: "It looks like Sonic's arm and he's making a fist."

Then he asked me to write his name. I said, "You know how to spell it. You write it." So he started to write the "M" by drawing two straight lines. And he knew they were supposed to meet in the middle somehow, but he wasn't sure how to do it. He made a little jut out of the first line, horizontally, toward the middle; then the same on the other side. It looked about like an "H" that had been cut in half and separated a bit. I finally showed him how to do the middle part.

He's working on figuring this stuff out. Just at a slower pace than my first child, and than other kids his age. I'm glad he doesn't have to compete with anyone in this regard. We don't have the arbitrary "one more year" deadline for kindergarten. Maybe he'll have gotten it by next fall; maybe he won't. I'm sticking with the self-directed program.

I do ask sometimes if he wants to get out this reusable marker book to practice letters, and he's never said yes. I'm not pushing it.

Something that keeps reinforcing this commitment, even when I waver, is Mal himself.

For instance, on our cruise, our assistant server was kind enough to bring Mal his own soda every night, even though we didn't pay for that (I had the unlimited soda package). The drink was served in stemware, and almost every time Mal reached for it, I felt a blanche of anxiety. "He's going to spill it!" my spine warned me.

Mal is pretty clunky with things sometimes. He CAN feed himself things like cereal and yogurt, but he has to REALLY be paying attention lest he ends up virtually swimming in it. He hates drinking straight from cups, preferring straws, even though I've seen that he CAN drink out of cups and bottles.

Still, those things seem like challenges to him, to the point that I often help him... which I am aware is aiding in any arrested development, if it exists, but also sometimes I'm just not in the mood to stop what I'm doing for a major cleanup on aisle everywhere.

Anyway, I wondered aloud to James if occupational therapy might help him. He doesn't draw or color, he paints only occasionally, never uses the chalkboard or easel, and I'm pretty sure that if he tried to brush his own teeth, he'd likely miss his mouth on the first approach. It seems like these are things that he should be doing at this age.

However... one of the dinner surprises Mal got on the cruise was a mini Etch-a-Sketch. He used that thing the whole meal, and the one the next night. He loved spinning those tiny knobs and showing us, "I made a 'P'!"

Then, yesterday, he did something he's NEVER done before.

Inspired by a video of a lady making-over LOL Dolls into characters from Teen Titans Go!, he wanted to make paper dolls. I was busy doing something else, so he decided instead just to cut paper. He made a MESSSSssssss but on and off yesterday, cut shapes and corners and just played around with scissor grasp and moving paper (because I told him to stop trying to cut the paper on top of our tablecloth, which he sliced... but which is vinyl because I know what I'm dealing with here).

He's never been interested in cutting things before. So that's one step toward developing more elegant fine-motor skills.

I guess I'll just be patient, because I think he's doing pretty well. And he's having a great time doing it.

I really am curious to see how my kids' ideas about learning and education look like when they're adults. I was just telling someone yesterday that I'm 100% sure I'll never do an organized educational program again, because after school and college, I was so burnt out, I was just done. I did real estate because I had to for a job, and then I studied the insurance stuff on my own... but both were basically mandatory and except for passing the tests, there was little joy in the process. It will be interesting to see if my kids pursue more organized educational opportunities, not having been exhausted by them in their early childhood.

Belize, but Not for Us

Hey, hi. I just looked and while we have a $20 delivery fee for our electricity, our rate is, at most, $.09 per kilowatt hour. Yikes!!

Since ship passengers have to tender in to Belize City, we didn’t make any plans for today. I wasn’t sure Mal would do a tender boat, and somehow, even though they’re bigger and carry more people, they actually do look scarier than the water taxi from yesterday (about which Mal asked, “Is this going to be safe?”). 

Instead, we planned to take it easy onboard and enjoy the practically-empty ship. That’s how it turned out, mostly, with the notable exception of about three hours of on-and-off tender ticket number announcements over the PA. If this had happened on the first day of the cruise, we could have had to charter a helicopter to come get us and take us home. Fortunately, Mal HATES it, but now gets that there are fun things to do, too, and we can hang out in our room and mostly not hear the announcements that aren’t emergencies.

We just chilled in the room until 9 or so, when Mal and I went to breakfast at the Windjammer buffet. Only half of it was open, but we had no problem finding a table (not always the case). James had lunch in the main dining room.

We’d worn our bathing suits to breakfast, planning to play in the splash pad after, but saw on our way to the meal that they’re doing some pretty extensive work on the splash pad. Fortunately, the main pool was deserted, and I talked Mal into TRYING to get in again. Just with his feet. Just to feel it.

It was probably 6 degrees warmer than it had been the first day we tried to get in. It was so comfortable! We swam for a couple of hours, when the frequency of the tender announcements sent Mal scrambling for the quiet of the stateroom.

James had joined us for the second half-ish of our pool party. By then there were a good 8 people in the pool. They’d opened the second pool, too, but for some reason no one was in that one.

I got in a shower, and attempted to go to lunch alone. James and Mal stayed in the room, then went to play and apparently decided it was time to eat, so they “found” me as I was finishing up my meal. We all hung out and I left to come back to the room to try to finish writing up about Roatan.

James and Mal came back as I was just about done, and I played with Mal a bit, then we all went back out to see if we could find the anchor. Since we’re moored off of the coast of Belize, we likely dropped anchor. We could see the Carnival Magic’s. And on Voyager of the Seas, D and I found where the anchor is stowed toward the front of the ship, an area that was closed when we were stopped.

But on this ship, we saw no such thing. We couldn’t see an anchor at all, though we realized looking at the Carnival ship that they wouldn’t have been able to see their anchor, either. We did enjoy a stroll around the promenade deck, including a much less windy visit to the helipad.

Back to the room for television and games, and lots of watching the tender boats, one set of which docked right below our room. Although the “all aboard” was 4:30, by the time we were leaving for dinner at 5:20, they were just unloading the last one. 

I’d love to have spent some time in Belize City; I think D would LOVE the animal park, and Mal would have enjoyed it. But watching people bobbing out in the ocean waiting for their turn to pull up to the ship, then having to wait while so many people unloaded… ugh. It looked stressful. I mean, if you’re the kind of person who finds waiting problematic. And I don’t, necessarily. Waiting with my little, though? No thank me.

Our server, Noel, and assistant server. Charmaine, are so sweet to Mal. After the second night, Charmaine started bringing Malcolm his own soda, which we are not paying for. And Noel cuts Mal’s chicken strips into nuggets. They are trying so hard to please him, and he’s really kind of a jerk right now. Very focused on what he wants, to the exclusion of politeness. That might be a typical 4-year-old thing, but D was quite gracious and appreciative as a youngster. It’s a trick not to be frustrated with Mal not just for being inconsiderate, but for making me look like a bad parent. I try to keep that angle out of things, but, goodness. We’re modeling all over the place and I’m ready for him to pick it up!

James had a crab cake and ahi tuna for dinner. I got the creamy mushroom soup and prime rib with au gratin potatoes. It was perfect. We both had the Grand Marnier soufflé for dessert, and it did not disappoint.

After dinner, James brought Mal’s left-overs back to the room while Mal and I visited the arcade. There is a circular bank of games in the middle of the arcade, which meanders a bit, and if Mal could run around that circle for hours a day, he would. He likes to play that he’s PacMan and I’m a ghost. 

We made sure the pool was open and came back to the room to change into our bathing suits. The water was still so warm and comfy. They were showing “Mary Poppins Returns,” and it might have been better for me if I’d seen it from the beginning. I wasn’t super impressed. But I had a great time swimming with Mal and the few kids who were out there. We got in during daylight and Mal noticed soon that it was dark. At about 8 o’clock, they closed the first of the two pools, so everyone had to get out and go to the other pool. For some reason, that pool was about 4 degrees cooler, and it was A LOT windier on the port side of the ship. We lasted all of 3 minutes in that pool before we decided it was time to return to the room.

It was so windy, Mal and I were almost dry by the time we got to the elevator banks. Now we’re all dressed for bed and getting ready to call it a night. The most relaxing day of vacation so far, definitely!

Roatan, Briefly

I am tired! I’ll try to go into more detail about our day later, but for now, know this: A capuchin monkey got into my backpack and stole my menstrual cup... in front of quite a crowd. James said it was worth the price of admission and Mal could not stop laughing. Good day.

At Sea, Day One

This morning, we mostly woke up at the same time, around 7:30, which is early for Mal (actually, I was awake at 6:30 and James was up shortly after that, looking outside to catch the sunrise). We got dressed and Mal and I went to the Windjammer buffet for breakfast; James was trying out the main dining room (MDR) for a sit-down breakfast.

I picked out several things, but Mal liked the waffles the best. James ended up joining us for a bit as the MDR didn’t open until 8:30. He ended up accompanying Mal to the mini golf course while I finished up my breakfast, then we traded off. Mal and I went to spend some of his arcade credits, and then the store Mal wanted to visit was open.

He likes Pez dispensers, so I’ve chalked the expense up to this being a thing he collects on trips. They have Shimmer and Shine dispensers here, and he got both. While we were in the store, James found us. Mal said he was hungry again, so we went back to the Windjammer to get him second breakfast (more waffles.) 

Next, we went to check out the kids’ club. They had just been playing with toys but were putting them up for a structured activity when we got there. Mal wanted to play with the toys, so after taking off his shoes and washing his hands, he declined to stay. Instead, we all returned to the room together to change for the pool.

Mal was really upset when I took him to the kids’ pool area. He wanted a life jacket and to go into the main pool. He tried just walking off from us, and I ended up having to YELL at him to get him to stop. We’ve lost sight of him as he rounded a corner and then panicked because he didn’t know where we were already. Don’t want that happening at the pool, especially.

We went over to the main pool, got Mal jacketed, and then he felt like the pool was too cold. James jumped in to encourage him, but no. So we took the life jacket BACK off (after I yelled at him again because he just abandoned us to go back over to the other side of the pools) and went to where we’d started in the first place. He ended up having a great time playing in the splash pad area, and we stayed long enough that James and I got some light sunburns, although Mal didn’t. He did have on a rash guard, too, but so far he’s never burnt.

We stopped by for pizza from Sorrentos to bring back to the room. They had an amazing seafood salad, and some tomatoes and mozzarella. They were just putting out these prosciutto and goat cheese roll-ups and, man, they were incredible. After lunch in the room, we hung out for a while. Mal asked for more pizza, but the line was super long so I got him fries, mashed potatoes, a cupcake, and a slice of watermelon from the buffet. Then we went to the ice rink to see the skating show “Encore.”

Although Mal was initially concerned about attending the program (as he’s trepidatious about anything new), he enjoyed it a lot. He even yelled out “What the heck?!” at a quiet break in a song when the skaters had done a particularly difficult trick. The performers were extremely talented, and one couple in particular was amazing. The theme of the show was basically a look back through famous musical performances, from early opera to broadway to Vegas-era Elvis. 

One part that made me uncomfortable, however, was the kabuki section. The costumes felt… inappropriate? I don’t know; maybe I’m overly-sensitive. But I found myself looking around the room to see if there were any Japanese guests giving the side-eye. I mean, they had “geisha” costumes as part of it, but, of course, it was only the head-pieces and shoulders and make-up that gave it away, as they were wearing typical skating short skirts. It felt off. 

Still, overall the show was super enjoyable. It made me laugh out loud at the last bit, when the announcer reviewed the musical styles we’d visited, and how all music culminates in… Las Vegas and Elvis. Mmmkay. But it was certainly a crowd-pleaser.

James came back to the room to rest his ankles, which aren’t super happy about all of the walking. Mal and I went back to the pool, but sadly there wasn’t a lifeguard on duty at the splash pool area where he’d played this morning.

Mal was disappointed, but we just sat out by the pool in the shade, eating fruit snacks and playing silly games together. Then it was time to come back to the room to get ready for dinner. Of course, we picked up some pizza for Mal on the way. His hunger knows no time frames.

This evening was a semi-formal night, and so we all got a bit fancier than usual. Mal’s dinner surprise tonight was a rainbow spinner, which delighted people at other tables all around us. Mal had plain noodles and French fries, with a tiny bit of vanilla ice cream. James and I both had a seafood puff pastry appetizer, then he got the duck a l’orange and cheesecake whilst I opted for the seafood linguini and seafood cake. Just kidding. I got a peach shortcake.

After dinner, while it was still light, we finally managed to walk the promenade deck together. The wind was something fierce, and although Mal ended up walking out to the helipad, we ducked out pretty quickly because it was difficult for him even to walk out there!

It’s interesting: tonight’s headliner is the exact same person D and I saw on the Navigator of the Seas in 2010: Lance Ringnald. Mal was ready to stay in the room after our post-dinner outing, so we have laid low and I’m the only one awake, but not for long.

All Aboard!

Correction: James went and got us doughnuts. After Mal’s crying so much yesterday about wanting to go home this morning, he woke up very sad that we were leaving the RV. We just spent the last hour playing with him, eating doughnuts, and trying not to talk about our plans for the day.

Once we actually got out the door, everything was great. Mal was a little trepidatious about the “ship” thing, but never got too panicked about it. He DID note that most of the check-in procedure, looked a lot like the airport. He asked more than once if I was sure we weren’t getting onto an airplane. His motto right now is, “No more airplanes and no more doctors.” He’ll get a rude awakening in the future, but not today.

We had purchased “The Key,” which is Royal Caribbean’s… well, it’s a package of benefits, basically, including internet and priority boarding and stuff. The check-in process almost made the whole thing worth it, honestly. We never stopped moving. Security, check in, and then up to the terminal to wait. We had gotten to our parking lot around 10:05 AM and were up in the terminal waiting by 10:45, including a rather long bathroom break because there are only two commodes in the ladies’ room when you enter the port security area!

We were on board by 11:30, Mal having met a king and pirate who were traveling from a Renaissance festival. The king gave Malcolm a heavy metal coin, and Mal had fun chatting with them to kill time while we waited. Oh, and Chee-tos. He bought a snack from the vending machine.

They boarded those needing assistance, pinnacle and diamond, emerald, and platinum status cruisers first. Then The Key got to go! You have to purchase for everyone in the room over the age of 6, so I probably wouldn’t do it when Mal’s older, but it worked so well for us today!

Once on board, we dropped our carry-on bag in the theater for stateroom delivery, another benefit of The Key. Then we explored. We ended up at the pool, where Mal waded and James and I cooled our feet. Then it was time for our welcome-aboard lunch at Chop’s Grille… yup, another bennie of The Key. 

At first, I was a little sad about missing out on the first-cruise-day buffet, but when we rounded the corner and saw the line extending out of the venue and into the hall, around to the elevators, I suddenly was much less wistful.

Dang, lunch was good. James and I both got mushroom soup and filet mignon. We’d gotten macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes as family sides, but Mal decided he wasn’t super hungry and instead ate his Chee-tos and played with the Sonic toys while we ate. He was getting antsy and our room was ready, so we left James to bring our desserts up to the room, and Mal and I went to check out the kids’ club, Adventure Ocean. Mal is in Aquanauts. He liked the play area, and we got him signed up. We’ll see if he wants to hang out there later in the week.

We made our way to our room and chilled and unpacked while we waited for the muster drill. Mal decided he wanted to explore, but this was just about the time the cruise director started announcing the drill. Mal was very angry this guy was speaking so loudly over the public address system, and we came back to the room for earphones. 

Then we watched TV until the drill started. By the time we found our muster station, Mal was done. After the drill, we came back to the room and he was not wanting to take off his earphones. He was scared and ready to get off the ship!

But we went out to get some fresh air while James heated up his knees, and ended up having a great time. We found the mini-golf course, which Mal loved. It was getting very close to time to leave, and I knew the ship’s horn would freak him out, so I suggested we head inside. The arcade was having a “free play” hour and a half, and I got to enjoy a super-speed Ms. PacMan (my fave!).

By the time we’d explored there a bit, I could see out the window that we were moving. I took Mal out to show him, and he couldn’t believe it. He wanted to go back to the mini-golf, where a 7-ish-year-old girl told me that she’d been on deck when they sounded the horn and “it scared the crap out of me.” Glad we missed it!

We played for a bit, then came back to the room to get James for dinner. We spent half an hour or so on the balcony, watching the ships as we passed them. We also had a seagull flying beside us for a good five minutes. Mal thought it was hysterical.

Then it was time for dinner. We have gotten Mal a surprise for every night of the trip, in hopes that a new play thing will keep him at least somewhat occupied during supper. Tonight it was a wooden robot with lots of elastic-connected parts you can pose. Mostly, he kept wanting us to return it to the cube shape as it was in the bag.

Mal’s dinner was a fruit salad, pizza and fries, and vanilla ice cream. James got escargot, a steak (the second of the day!), and apple pie. I had a chicken Waldorf salad, baked polenta with amazing roasted vegetables, and a fruit platter. 

After dinner, James took Mal to the pool while I unpacked our checked bags, which had been delivered right as we were leaving for dinner. It was too cool for Mal, and “too deep,” because James wasn’t swimming with him. I told him I’d swim with him tomorrow. I got a shower and feel like a new person now.

I did take Mal out after that, intending to walk around the promenade deck. The darkness and the sound of the waves freaked him out, and since the helipad was closed due to winds, we went back inside. We gave a cursory glance to the art gallery, which has some really neat stuff. We also got some snacks for the room from the Promenade Cafe. Oh, my, the pistachio eclair is amazing.

Now we’re all pretty beat, and it’s looking like time for bed. 10 PM. We’re party animals. Night!

Why There is a Package of Crumbled Pop-Tarts in My Console

Today, Mal and I took advantage of our family annual membership to the Austin Aquarium (which has gotten SO much better/bigger than when it opened!). Mal is getting more comfortable around the fish, which is cool. He's still freaked out by BIG fish on his level, and I understand that.

Oh! There's a lemur cage when you first walk in, and this beautiful black-faced and otherwise brown lemur was sitting on a branch watching people come in. He had a super long stuffed snake (available in the gift shop!) on the floor. I figured he must really liked stuffed animals, because look...

I seriously thought this hammock of about 10 lemurs was stuffed animals for a hot minute! They were just piled in there, and until I REALLY watched the one face you can actually see and it moved a bit, I thought the other lemur (the only one that doesn't look like these ring-tailed) just LOVED his stuffies. :D

They all got up later and were grooming each other. Man, they're adorable!

After the aquarium, of course Mal wanted to look around the gift shop. While he did, I was kind of accidentally eavesdropping on what seemed to be a job interview (or a contract pitch?). We were just in the vicinity and I have good hearing.

Anyway, one of the employees said, "Thanks; we'll talk to a manager and get back with you." The guy they were talking to then asked if he could see the r/o system. The employee said, "I have to get to work, but hold on and I'll get someone to show you around." The guy explained that was his milieu; he had gone to Haiti after the earthquake and tsunami in 2010.

At some point, I had to use the restroom, and when I got back, this guy had changed shirts. I might not have noticed if he hadn't left his starched pink (with blue stripes!) shirt and tie draped over... what appeared to be almost everything he owned, in one of the chairs in the reading area.

Mal had me look at some books with him and showed me a few trinkets while I took in information: He had a backpack, a large "tote" that is bigger than my 13-gallon trash can, a coat, the clothes he was wearing, and the clothes he'd just removed (I assume he had on a t-shirt under). He was well-kept enough not to have that "transient" look in his eyes and manner. But he was carrying an inordinate amount of stuff.

By the time the other employee came out and told him that he could only show him pictures of the reverse osmosis system, it was obvious that this gentleman is on the Autism spectrum. He looked at the pictures and asked questions for a while, then the employee left.

"That's the smallest r/o system I've ever seen. I'm used to dealing with ones that are this big," he said, referring to the chair.

"Did I hear you say you were in Haiti?" I asked.

He said yes, that the Texas National Guard responded in Haiti shortly after the 2010 tsunami. I asked him where he was: Port au Prince. I explained that when we went in 2013, we found it to be a lovely country, but he insisted I was glad I did not go during recovery; I'm sure he's right. He couldn't remember exactly how long they were there.

Mal was bored and ready to go by this point. I'd ordered half of our meal from Chick-fil-A (yay, mobile ordering!) and he complained, "I'm hungry!" I told him I was almost done, but the gentleman, who was packing up all of his stuff to leave, said, "If your mom will let you, maybe later you can have a PopTart."

I thought he was just being aspirational, but then he dug through his pack and reached out toward Mal... with a sealed PopTart foil.

He said, "You have to be careful with those, because they're kind of broken up; but that's easier for your mom. She can put them in a bowl and pour milk over it and call it cereal. That's what my mom used to do."

So. That's why I have a package of crumbled PopTarts in the console of my car. I don't know what to do with them. I don't know what flavor they are. Sometimes I have hypoglycemia emergencies, so maybe I'll be desperate enough to open them and eat it then. The guy was being genuinely kind; I just didn't expect a stranger to give my kid PopTarts at the aquarium. It reminded me a lot of the homeless guy who used to give us wet wipes. Sometimes, you find kindness in the more interesting places.

We're On Vacation, and Everyone's Crying

Hey, kids! We're at Disney, and we're having a great time! If you're only interested in pictures, here they are, and I'm updating daily, as it is possible.

Yesterday, we flew in SUPER early, and got to the resort at around lunchtime. We wandered a bit before we found The Mara, and had our introductory meal. We happened to come at a time when Disney was offering "free" dining. We DID have to upgrade to park-hopper tickets to get it, and we probably won't park hop, BUT that cost about $300 to do, and we would have spent just under that yesterday on our two meals! So it's already paid for itself!

We saw so many animals, then got to our "standard view" room and have been BLOWN AWAY by the frequency and variety of animals we have seen over here. By the time we were ready to swim yesterday, there were thunderstorms, so we just relaxed and explored. Mal and I found Simba's Cubhouse, which used to be childcare but now is just an activity center. It's a super space to hang out: bigger than our room; with a bunch of toys like a wooden train set, potato heads, board games, Xbox; and both free crafts and higher-end crafts for purchase.

This resort has so many activities, I don't think there's any way we could do all of them. From medallion-rubbing in the lobby to cookie decorating at one of the restaurants to learning to use African instruments to Mickey tie-dye to stories by the fire at night out back, it's just a ton of stuff.

We went to bed super early last night, and got up early today for one of only two "alarm" mornings of our week here. We made our way to the Magic Kingdom as it was opening, and my tears started when our bus pulled away from the resort and a pre-recorded message came over the PA instructing us all to be on our best behavior on the motorcoach, because on this day, we were traveling with a princess on board. There was one little girl dressed up, and just the idea that Disney goes to that much trouble to make kids feel special... it's why people fork over tons of cash to spend time here.

For James, I think he got choked up during the opening ceremonies at the castle. It was a simple little show, but all of the characters came out and welcomed us.

We hadn't had breakfast, so got a Cheshire tail and raspberry lemonade slushy on our way to ride Pooh first. Mal seemed to like the ride, but said he didn't want to do any more rides, but wanted to come back to the hotel to swim. Soon after, he said he wanted to ride It's a Small World, so we did that next, but as we were about to get on, he decided that he didn't want to ride... but we did. Then we used our FastPass for Peter Pan.

After that, Mal asked to go to the fountains that come up out of the ground. I think he meant our pool area, but we took a detour to Casey's Soaking Station and then realized there was basically no wait to see Goofy, Donald, Daisy, and Minnie at Sideshow Pete's.

We went next to the Jungle Cruise, for which we had a FastPass, and after walking through the Swiss Family Treehouse, we enjoyed a Dole Whip swirl on pineapple upside-down cake. Goodness, that was brilliant on such a hot day. There was a line at Aloha Isle, too. Mobile ordering is the way to go.

Our next FastPass was Haunted Mansion, and I was a little concerned about Mal, but we got to chill out on the way, to watch the Muppets' American history show. And he seemed amenable, so we tried. He did great! Man, I love that ride.

Having used all of our FastPasses, we saw that the wait for Enchanted Tales with Belle was very short, and went there. While we waited, I made a FastPass for Little Mermaid, which we didn't need need, but we got to pass some people. All we had left on the agenda for the day was lunch, which I'd pre-ordered while we ate our Dole Whip.

Be Our Guest is super popular, and allegedly difficult to get into. I DID make our reservation 180 days out, BUT.. what made the biggest difference in our experience today was using pre-order. I walked up to the window at 1:40, when our reservation wasn't until 2:25. I said, "We're super early, but can we check in?" She said, "Yes, and I see you've pre-ordered, so here." She gave me a yellow hockey-puck-looking thing and said I could go in on the left side. The right side had a line outside of the building some 50 people deep. We walked straight in on the left side (after I sprinted back to the stroller because I'd left my camera hanging on the handle!) and saw that the line snaked around another room inside, up to two cash registers. We waited behind one person to "pay" for our meal. Then we looked through the castle before deciding on a table in the drawing room, primarily because that was the only room that had a table available.

As we ate, we chatted with a couple next to us. The girl said, "It's amazing to me how you can have a reservation, but still have to wait so long." I asked if they'd used mobile ordering, and they hadn't. So, people, if you're going to Disney and you're doing BoG for breakfast or lunch, DUDE, MOBILE PRE-ORDER IS THE WAY TO GO. All of those people were waiting in line to order and pay. We'd done the front end work, and it paid off big-time!

Also, the food was good, but not stellar. I had the Croque Monsieur, which was tasty. James's tuna nicoise was probably the stand-out. Actually, James and I both liked Mal's peach apple sauce, which he refused to try. He also said his turkey sandwich was for me, so instead he ate my fries while I ate his sweet potato chunks. Also, I DID have his sandwich for dinner.

We'd accomplished everything on the agenda except Tom Sawyer Island, which we'll try to hit later in the week. We stopped several times for Photopass photographers, because I bought Memory Maker. I wasn't ever willing to wait in much of a line, though. We'll see if any of the prime places are slower when we go back for the Halloween party, which seems unlikely, but maybe if all of those people are trying to see characters... Also, I was disappointed because one set of pictures didn't show up. Maybe it will later; maybe it's just lost to the ages. We still got some great ones.

On the bus ride back to the resort, it poured rain. Great timing!

Mal played with his mini-racers for a bit, then was ready to swim. We took the shuttle over to Kidani Village (our pool is under renovation) and had fun for about 20 minutes before thunder and lightning shut the pool down. We came back and watched some TV, then Mal wanted to show James the kids' club, so they went down while I did some organizing in the room, and then I joined them. We got dinner and brought it back to the room, and now my son is sleeping while James and I face each other over blue-lit screens. It's very romantic.

This trip is purposefully different than any trip I've taken to Disney before. I have a different family, and I had to plan slow days. We got a lot done today, but I completely left Tomorrowland for next time, and didn't try to hit either mountain in Fronteirland... also, skipped Pirates until maybe next time, when Mal's a little more confident. But beyond that, it's just a more laid-back pace because that's what the people I love need. It's working out great so far.

Tomorrow: the Food and Wine Festival! Woo hoo!

Wednesday Adventure

Yesterday, Mal and I went to the Volente Beach Resort for the first time. As the crow flies, it's very close to where we live. Just under 4 miles, specifically.

However, since we don't have a boat (and, yes, they have a courtesy dock, so we could theoretically kayak down there, but I'd have to call an Uber home, most likely), we had to drive. It's a bit more than 4 miles to drive to that side of the lake.

Once we got there, 22 minutes before opening time, I had to figure out where to park. Either the signage isn't super clear, or I'm just not the brightest tool in the combo plate. Whichever, we finally found a parking "lot" (rocky field with some paved areas the width of sidewalks, but I think you're supposed to drive on them, which feels very weird). Of course, they didn't take credit cards, only cash. I don't carry cash. But they do participate in a parking app, so I pulled over, downloaded it, set up a payment method, found out that the parking lot doesn't take that payment method, panicked because I'd only brought one credit card, and then realized I could use Paypal. By the time we got all of that squared away, it was 5 minutes until 11.

The whole time I was messing with installing the app, Mal was telling me that he didn't want to go to the park; he just wanted to look at it from the car. I got him out of the car with the promise that I would carry him. HE IS HEAVY.

When we got down the hill to the entry, I was speaking with the entrance booth attendant as Mal tried twice to go back to the car... by walking straight into the road, since the entrance booth is only 5 feet off of the street. The second time, I did yell at him about NOT RUNNING OUT INTO THE STREET. So he started crying and begging to leave. I assured the nice high school girl who was trying to help us that he'd love it once we got in. She put a wrist band on me, but Mal wouldn't cooperate, so she put it around his ankle. His response: "GET THAT OFF OF ME!"

Finally, we were set up to go in, and Mal just wanted to stand in the grass with the picnic tables. Okay, good. Take in the view. Gradually, he calmed down enough to try to go check out the kiddie pool. It was maximum 1 foot deep and had a pirate ship.

He liked climbing aboard the ship and exploring. We were the first people to arrive for the day, and had the area to ourselves for about half an hour. I slid down the small slide a couple of times, trying to get Mal to go after me. He declined. At one point, I'd walked away because I thought Mal was going back down the stairs. Next thing I knew, he was standing at the top of the slide saying, "I don't want to do it! I'm not interested!"

I laughed SO hard, because literally no one was inviting him to slide anymore. He was fighting with himself.

More kids arrived, and we ended up playing and having a snack. After an hour, Mal said he was ready to go. I asked if we could walk down closer to the beach, and Mal was very excited to see a boring old swimming pool.

At Volente Beach, the water used in the features is lake water, used and returned to the lake. Thus the swimming pool wasn't pristine. It was clean, but it was lake water. We had a lot of fun in the pool, and got to watch a bunch of people slide. Mal is tall enough for all of the slides, but hadn't the least bit interest in going on them.

Looking at that picture, I can see: Mal is at the top end of what his life jacket can support! He needs to learn how to swim already!

Anyway, we ended up staying a couple of hours, and it was very nice. I'll be excited to have something so close by when he decides it might be fun to slide, and that getting one's face wet on occasion isn't the worst thing that can happen.

We got home and had a very late lunch, then Mal was kind enough to play Cars mostly on his own so I could doze for a few moments.

When it was time to make dinner, he went into the kitchen with me and climbed up onto the bar to chat. I was peeling an onion, and he wanted to try. After we got the peel pulled off, I started to chop it, and Mal apparently just scooted all the way back so that his rear went off the side of the bar and he lost his balance, flipping backward into the floor.

I definitely screamed. Before I got to the other side of the bar, one of the very heavy wrought-iron stools fell over, as well. I picked Mal up and he was crying, but it was almost instantly a "I should be crying because that was scary and I might be hurt" cry and not an actual "I'm severely injured!" cry. The first thing he said after we'd sat down and I was rubbing around on his head to feel for bumps was, "Mommy, I forgot to catch myself!" That's when I knew he was fine. But his little heart was beating like crazy.

We decided that if he wanted to sit on the bar while I cooked, he could sit on the lower part with his back against the high bar. Good grief, that could have gone a whole other way, and we could have spent our evening at the ER.

I was so exhausted by the end of the day that when Mal went to sleep just after 10, I did, too. I realized today that he had not used his computer at all yesterday, and he only got online about 15 minutes today while I was at the store and he was hanging out with James.

Parents who never let their kids use any tech at all must 1) have more energy than I do; 2) have an easier/less needing of input/more independent kid than I do; 3) have more than one kid around; or 4) just be better parents than I am. I cherish those fleeting moments of his distraction so I can make a phone call or do something online from start to finish!

And that brings us to another topic that's going to have to be another blog post, because it's just about bedtime for me this evening. 'Night, all!