COVID-lyfe Chuck E. Cheese review: They're trying!

I'd promised Mal that I'd take him to Chuck E. Cheese today after his doctor's appointment (just a spoonful of sugar and all that jazz). I'd been following the emails explaining what they would be doing to try to mitigate spread of the coronavirus, and it didn't sound like it would be too imposing. The actual result is just a little sad, though.

First, I asked Malcolm which location he wanted to visit; there are two equidistant between the doctor's and our home. He chose the one where we had his 4th birthday party because it has his favorite game, where you get to be a truck driver and pull on the horn. Now, I DID know that they'd said they were going to close some games down to keep people distanced. I didn't think about that when Mal was getting so excited about one specific game.

We arrived just at the arcade opened, and immediately there was a problem (for me; probably not for you). If you read my previous post, you now know that I'd left my phone at home. Instead of doing the blacklight-visible stamp on each person's arm, to cut down on physical contact, they now have you take a selfie with your kid(s) so you can show it to them on the way out. Just as the lady was calling a manager to see what to do (answer: bracelets), I remembered that I had not one but two actual cameras in my purse. So we took a selfie and went in.

I was wearing a mask when I was interacting with an employee, but since there were only two other families (dad/son, mom/two kids), we were able to keep plenty of space between us and I did not when we were playing.

Mal cried when he saw that the truck game was one of the ones that got axed for social distancing. Then he HOWLED when he saw that the Caribbean pirates shooter game was also closed. I showed him that the Spongebob game was live, but when we activated it, it was SO LOUD that Mal ran away from it. Also, it wasn't working right, not registering "whacks" for points and therefore tickets.

I was about to ask if they could cancel my pizza order (a last cheese hurrah for Malcolm before the dark, dairy-free days ahead), when we saw Monkey Ball, another of Mal's favorites. We started to play it... AND IT WAS SO LOUD.

I asked the attendant if there was any way to turn the games down at all. She said there was not. There actually is; I've had employees do it for me before. Regardless... I went back out to the car to get Mal's headphones.

I don't know whether the games just seemed loud because so many were closed and the ambient noise was lower, or because we just haven't gone anywhere in three months, so we've gotten used to a more quiet life. Regardless, I could have used headphones.

The two-player games were all only working on one side (except for air hockey, since that would be pretty pointless).

When I realized this, we went back and looked at the Caribbean game. One side WAS open! Mal played that about 30 times.

After maybe 20 minutes, both other parties left, and it was just us inside of Chuck E. Cheese for about an hour and a half.

The playground areas were off-limits.

Anything was for more than one person and couldn't be halfway shut down was just closed altogether.

I do hope they'll keep the drink spacing this way for all eternity. I swear, no one's going to die of thirst if they wait fifteen seconds for the person in front of them to finish filling up those communion cups that Chuck E. Cheese gives out when you order a soda.

One weird thing: They didn't have any lids or straws out. I have straws, and they might give you a lid or a straw if you ask. But they weren't out. And the napkins aren't on the tables anymore; there are many fewer napkin dispensers and they're placed in a common area. I'm sure that saves time cleaning them. It's another thing I think would be great to keep permanently, even after we have a vaccine and this thing passes in seriousness fourteen years from now.

Chuck isn't making in-person appearances, which is fine with Mal. Mal is freaked out and hides from the mouse (rat?) every time. This location does happen to still have the old animatronic thing that did come to "life" a couple of times. They also played a KidzBop-style cover of "Sorry, Not Sorry" at least three times in the two hours we were there.

This Chuck E. Cheese is on the border of Austin and Round Rock; I'm not actually sure which one it is in. I'm guessing Austin? Anyway, Austin has recently passed a resolution that goes into effect I'm not sure when (maybe already) that masks are again mandatory in public. Although our illustrious governor has said that private citizens cannot be given citations or arrested or punished in any way for not wearing masks, he has now said that it's fine for businesses to require it and enforce the wearing of masks. And the city has said that if businesses are not enforcing it then THEY can lose their business licenses. This whole thing is bass-ackward. Some dude making $11 an hour at Chuck E. Cheese shouldn't be the one trying to get idiots like me to wear my mask except when I'm physically eating or drinking. If it's mandatory, then it should be, like, an enforceable law. It's an individual's responsibility, not a business's (for their employees? yes).

Regardless... just as we were cashing out our tickets to go, three or four families came in at once. The manager, who hosted Mal's birthday party, actually, came over to us with surgical masks and asked if we were going to hang out. I said no, and he said, "Okay, because you're going to have to wear masks now." I told him we had masks and put mine on. I didn't make Mal because, again, he wasn't talking to anyone or getting close, and we were on our way out. The guy was super pleasant.

I support wearing masks. I know that restaurants and bars are exempt from the mandate, but that's supposed to be after you've been seated. At Chuck E. Cheese, that's only like 1/5 of your time there. So I get it.

However, between so many games being closed and then the idea of having to be masked the whole time... it was just kind of not the full experience. We'll probably wait until that vaccine seventy-two years from now to go back to places like this. I also canceled our reservation for tomorrow for Urban Air. If they have to require all of their guests, including jumpers, to wear masks... meh. (I mean, also, it's likely that Mal's digestive stuff will be iffy tomorrow - see previous post - so that and trampolines don't mix.)

So, even though it's sweltering and indoor places to play would be nice, we'll stick to visiting family and playing in water until it's safe to get back out/in there.