No Polar Vortex Here

Our windows are open. While there are record cold and windchill temperatures in the north and northeast, it's 70 degrees here.

I keep looking across the street.

The house doesn't look any different, but it "feels" different.

Last Thursday, our 26-year-old neighbor, the one who brought us a bunch of goodies for the dog right after we adopted Shelby, and who had such an incredible story about her childhood adoption and reconnection with her birth mom as an adult, took her own life.

I saw her every day. She and her husband have several dogs, not all of whom can be walked together, so she usually made a couple of trips every morning and a couple in the afternoon.

I know she struggled with mental health. She wanted to have a positive outlook, but had also been through so much. I didn't know her very well, and we only spoke a few times in person and several times when I was still on Facebook, but I know two things about her: She loved her husband, and she loved animals.

I dated a guy once who had a lot of grief and anger about his own childhood. He was also disillusioned about how his adult life had turned out. Once, he told me, "I wish you were enough to combat all of that. But you're not enough. No one is enough."

And, of course, he didn't mean me. He meant his feelings for me, and the kind of hope caring about me gave him for the future.

Regardless, I feel for my neighbor, and hope he's not suffering from self-doubt, wondering too much why he couldn't be "enough." I wish I knew him well enough to extend that thought. Maybe someday.

Here's another thing: Panther Cat.

Panther Cat is what Mal calls the black cat who has been around since before we moved in.

Apparently, Panther Cat's mom was a stray around here. She had babies, and all of them died/disappeared except for this one. My neighbor said she wanted to keep the cat, but couldn't.

Still, Panther Cat was part of the family. As much time as he spent in our yard and fighting over our porch with Carol, when the dogs would go out for a walk, Panther Cat always followed them. You'd have thought he was on a lead.

Once, I saw him slow down in front of the biggest dog, who tripped over him, and neither snapped at the other. It was incredible.

I haven't seen Panther Cat since our neighbor passed. Maybe he was scared off by all of the activity. James said there were 4 sheriff's cars, a ladder truck, 2 EMTs, and some other vehicle with lights and sirens.

I can't think about any other possibility. But I hope he comes back soon.