A Thing I Thought

For my own mental health and yours, I've been trying to avoid all political stuff on social media. I have read so many articles that I've really loved, and haven't shared any of them, because I don't define my life by politics, and I don't want to cause stress between friends. So hopefully you'll see this more as I mean it, which is a couple of comments on the human condition.

I'm not endorsing a candidate. I think that the choice for whom to vote, or whether to vote at all, is deeply personal, and I respect it for every individual. I have friends who feel like voting supports tyranny (explained here). I have friends who will be voting for third party candidates for President in 2016. And I have friends who will be voting for either of the "major" party candidates. No one needs my opinion or instructions.

So please don't message me to try to pull me to a specific side, because I make my decisions with the same autonomy you do, and I hope we can all joyfully and lovingly respect that.

That said: There was only one point in the first Presidential Debate last night that felt "sacred" to me. I loved it. It was when Lester Holt asked Hillary Clinton, "Do you believe that police are implicitly biased against black people?" Her answer: "Lester, I think implicit bias is a problem for everyone, not just the police. I think, unfortunately, too many of us in our great country jump to conclusions about each other...."

My jaw literally dropped and I looked at my husband and said, "That was brilliant."

She then went on to explain that we need to slow down and ask why we're feeling certain ways, but that the repercussions of this in relationship to police force are huge and need to be addressed. She described "support" and "training" and "assistance" for police.

I felt the answer showed realism, empathy, and basically positivity in an otherwise loud, brash, difficult debate. I fully expected to wake up to lavish praise of Secretary Clinton for this eloquent response.

Instead, it was: "Hillary Clinton calls the whole US racist!"

What? She didn't say that at all. She said we all have implicit biases, and anyone who would say, "No I don't" is either in denial or is Jesus. Just today, I made a mental judgment about a person in a situation at a store that was based on nothing but what I guessed to be their socio-economic situation. It was a snap thought, and I'm embarrassed by it, AND I was wrong, but we do this.

She said nothing that was accusatory or mean-spirited, and I am just shocked that anyone could see her addressing of this extremely difficult, tragic situation as anything other than well-stated.

Okay, we're half way through.

The second thing is that apparently Donald Trump mentioned after the debate at some point that he hadn't brought up Monica Lewinsky because Chelsea Clinton, whom he admires, was in the room. Well, I guess it's good that she doesn't have the internet, because now she'll never know.

First of all, if you haven't watched Lewinsky's TED Talk, it's completely worth your time. I'll even embed it, so you don't have to click through.




We could go on for hours about how many stupid things I and my friends did in our 20s and we can all thank God none of these involved the President and therefore became public fodder. Holy cow.

But, anyway, she's not the point here.

The point here is that I guess he was going to bring Lewinsky up to talk about Hillary Clinton's feminist take on the world, and how did this situation fit into that, since the President took advantage of his power (and, if you listen to her, she doesn't seem to feel victimized by anything other than her own naivety). Regardless, Hillary Clinton didn't, you know, actually DO anything to Lewinsky, besides maybe calling her crazy, and I think she'd agree she was acting like someone in limerence, and that's basically crazy. If someone were trying to make time with my husband, I'd probably have even choicer words. Even if he were complicit. Your tendency is to be mad at the person you don't love and live with first.

And that's not the point, either.

My point is that I'm going to tell you what I'd like to see Hillary Clinton say if the former President's past "indiscretions" do come up in the future...

"Mr. Trump has repeatedly brought up my husband's activities as President, as though these define me and my future Presidency. I hope we all recognize that, as dear as the former President Clinton is to me, we are not the same person.

"It is an interesting choice to bring up a situation that is devastating to families who experience it in private, and much more so when it is played out in front of the entire world. It is interesting to me because it happened twenty years ago, and because I did not perpetrate anything on anyone in respect to it.

"My guess is that the only thought you've ever given to this situation is either, as many people did, as a joke worthy of every SNL skit it generated, or, in this immediate case, how to leverage it to your political advantage.

"In my opinion, leveraging a family's pain to your own advantage is deplorable, but since you insist, let me tell you what I hope everyone will take away from this about me.

"First: I keep my promises. When I say I'll do something, I will. Not just when it's easy or fun. I will do it. When trouble rears up, and when things look hopeless, I won't throw my hands up, call 'bankruptcy!' and run away to start over. I will do what I say I will do.

"Second: I am willing to make decisions that are for the good of the people I love, my family, and this country, and stay with it. I am not afraid to do the work. I do not shrink back from something that is hard, but will doggedly pursue an end once I have committed to it.

"As a wife, I had some heavy decisions to make twenty years ago. I knew the world was watching, and I knew I'd be vilified by one group or another regardless of what I chose. But I didn't need people praising me and telling me how amazing I was; I just needed to do what was best for our family. Now, I can tell you that we are a better, stronger family than we ever were before.

"I believe that these things can translate on a national and global stage. When faced with difficulties, I make decisions, I navigate, I work, and I want to see us better down the road that we nave ever been before. I have hope and faith in us and what we can become.

"So thank you, for whatever reason you brought this up, for reminding me and for reminding all of us."

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P.S. This isn't divorce-shaming Trump; I have been married and divorced exactly as many times as he has. And it's one reason I feel so much respect for what this "I'm not sitting here, some little woman just standing by her man" lady ended up doing.

P.P.S. Also, like Trump, I married a devastatingly sexy super-model-type this time around, and had a kid when I was just a little past my prime.