Making Some Fun Out of Misery (First World Problems)

This is truly going to be one of the most boring posts ever, about a topic I hate, but I did want to note some kind of fun stuff just by way of saying "I love the future."

If you've been riding along with us for any amount of time, you know that I dabbled in an eating disorder for a few years in the early 1990s. Well, I'm hardly to blame if you consider what "healthy weight loss" looked like back then. That was the "all fat is evil; just eliminate it" decade, and all of the super sugary, gross fakey "fat free" stuff (remember Olsetra poop-your-pants chips? I think Pringles still makes them, but they're the only ones). Entenmann's had a whole line of fat free breakfast snacks. I had a book called "Butter Busters" that had all sorts of crappy food you could make with non-melting cheese look-alike and using a powdered butter substitute that, when reconstituted, didn't resemble butter in flavor at all.

Actually, though, I *am* to blame for a lot of the choices I made. I lived in an apartment complex that shared a driveway with a gas station, and I can't tell you how many bags of jelly beans and candy corn I bought there, feeling great about getting to eat sweets... that were FAT FREE!

Anyhoo, all of that to say that today, there are so many products on the market that are trying to punch up treats to make them more healthy, while still tasting good and not sacrificing a real-food quality for managing to shovel candy and baked goods into people desperate for a fix.

Now, obviously, I eat mostly "real" food: fruits, vegetables, lean meats, beans and lentils, that sort of thing. I also make room for pizza and french fries. And butter. I actually feel GOOD about butter now. I love it so.

I'm not actually on any kind of eating system that restricts anything. I'm just doing the "you burn 1800ish calories a day, so only eat 1550 or less" thing and keeping track. And I hate it. I mean, I'm not as hungry as I was the first three weeks, but I hate that I have to think about this at all. I have a very thin line I can walk between obsessing over it and just not thinking about it at all. It's a balance I resent having to keep so stringently, because, honestly, I almost couldn't care less. Except for those darn pictures.

And this weekend, I got a little encouragement. We had a party for Mal's second birthday, and I wandered into a bunch of pictures and videos. I didn't cringe about any of them. So I know I'm on the right track. I'll know when I'm done and can switch over into the maintenance portion of life, but by then, I'll probably be about in the 1500 calorie range for my basic metabolic rate. Yee haw.

All of this because I wanted to share some fun discoveries I've made. And, to be indelicate, if we didn't have a bit of disposable income, these "toys" would not be in reach. This might be the case once we buy a house, so I'm going to really enjoy this stuff. And stock up when there are sales.

1. Arctic Zero. Okay, I probably won't stock upon these, because freezer burn is no one's friend. Neither is moving frozen items to another residence. However, these are ice-cream-ish pints that have 35-75 calories per "serving," or 150-300 calories per pint (a real serving).

These are lactose-free, being made with whey protein and not the whole milk. They have pure cane sugar, but are sweetened also with monk fruit, which allegedly has antioxidants. Anyway, I'm no nutritionist, but the ingredients aren't jibberish so that feels right.

These have to be left at room temperature for 15 minutes or so or they're hard as a rock. Once they soften, though, they have the very creamy feel of ice cream. No chunky flakes. It's not as rich as ice cream, but it is pleasurable to eat, and the amount of time you spend putting away a whole pint makes it feel like you've really eaten something.

I had three of these, one a day for three days in a row, and I enjoyed them all: cookie shake, chocolate peanut butter, and salted caramel. The flavors were extremely subtle. I realized when I ate a fourth pint a few days later (vanilla maple) that there is a consistent taste that runs through all of them that I can't identify, but it made me decide that these are probably best saved as a treat to have every couple of weeks... Not to mention that they run about $5 a pint, so that can get expensive fast.

You can order from their website, but because they have to be shipped with dry ice, it brings the price per pint up to $6.50. Find them at Central Market, Whole Foods, HEB, Sprouts, and anywhere you're directed from their website.

I see that they have chocolate-covered bars. That's very interesting to me, so I will probably head over to Sprouts on Wednesday (which is their "both sales circulars" day).

2. Lenny and Larry's Complete Cookie Especially if you're someone who likes to have Pop-Tarts for breakfast, pay attention!

These big honking cookies have about the same caloric content of 2 Pop Tarts (400ish), but a whole cookie (which is 2 "servings," but let's get real) has 16 grams of protein, or four times what you'd get with Pop Tarts, so you'll feel full longer and have more sustained energy versus just a sugar rush.

Now I'm going to tell you something I noticed AFTER I'd eaten one of these cookies: They're stinking vegan. VEGAN. No dairy. No eggs. But the cookies are soft and homey-tasting. How did they do it?! I don't know. I'm just glad I didn't realize that until after I'd eaten one, because I might not have tried. Well, I might have. I'm a sucker for packaging, and look how fun these are.

Oh, also, the cookies are non-GMO (if that's important to you; I'm kind of meh about the whole thing), they have no soy, and they have about 8 grams of fiber per cookie.

I'll clear room for a pretty big afternoon snack for one of these. Especially since my husband doesn't get home from work until 8 or later some nights; I need help waiting for him to eat dinner!

You can order on their website, where the cookies average just over $2 each. That's about what they are in the store, except that right this moment, the HEB on Escarpment and Slaughter in Austin happens to have them on display up front for $1.50. I haven't seen their muscle brownies or muffins, but I'm going to order those for sure.

(While researching this, I found this recipe, which I plan to try. If I see I can make these more cheaply than I can buy them and they taste as good. Plus, apparently, they're BIGGER. Hello!)

3. GoPicnic "meals"

I've mentioned these before. They're like Lunchables, kind of, except they're shelf-stable (nonperishable, no need for refrigeration) and many are gluten free (I think all of the ones in the picture are) or lower fat, etc. They are "balanced" in that there is a good amount of protein, and they manage to sneak fruits and/or veggies into every meal. The chocolate chip cookies are vegan. The nut and seed mixes are simple but creatively-seasoned. There is a peanut butter and crackers box, and also a sunflower seed butter and cracker box, just in case you have peanut issues. The plantain chips with either black bean dip or the edamame kale dip are my favorites, by far. The ones that come with an applesauce cup even have a little spoon, and if the cheese is runny, it comes with a wooden spreader.

The GoPicnic site sells the meals cheaper than you can get them in the stores, if you buy a few at a time (and, actually, I was introduced to them because Target had a few on clearance, so I was willing to part with $1.45 for one, even if I might not have spent $3). If you sign up for their emails, you get notified of specials and sales, plus you get coupon codes. I've never spent full price on anything I've ordered from them. The meals range from about 270 calories to 490 calories, and the fact that they're portion-controlled makes it easy to keep track. Most of them are in SparkPeople, so I just scan the UPC code and it's all done.

They also sell ten-packs of things like their bean dip (either three-bean or the black bean, but, unfortunately, not yet on the edamame and kale), flatbread crackers, fruit snacks, and trail mixes. They have other snacks that they seem to be adding fairly frequently, too.

4. Bell Plantation PB2 I'm going to tell you the truth: I bought this on a whim about a year ago when I saw it at Walmart and asked on social media, "What's the deal?" Many people swore by it. I really didn't find much to do with it besides adding it to banana "ice cream" (which I still do... it's fabulous). It seemed like the same kind of thing as protein powder, which is fine, but I don't use a lot.

More recently, however, I've started "reconstituting" it (2 tablespoons of powder, 1 tablespoon of water) and using it... as peanut butter! I've had it on toast, on PB&Js, and with sliced fruit and crackers. You know what? It's actually good. I typically get the chocolate one, of course. And before this, the only "low-fat peanut butter" product I'd had experience with was Walden Farm's, and it's just sad.

You know what I just realized? I'm seriously like a child. I need fun food or I get bored. If I can't do constant doughnuts and pizza (sad face), then I need stuff that's going to be as pleasurable to eat. And, yes, I do like eating fruits and vegetables -- most favorites are butternut squash, sweet potatoes, broccoli slaw, and spinach (those last two, I will eat to the point of digestive issues). But I have a very persistent sweet tooth, and maybe a "fat tooth," if that's a thing. So I'm trying to sate it as healthily as possible.

What about you guys? What do you love?