Anyhoo...
I did not come early to the Facebook game, joining sometime, I believe, in 2008. However, once I hit it, I hit it hard, and it quickly became my go-to for socialization in a life that was otherwise pretty lonely at the time (yes, please, let's all pour out some diet Coke for that past incarnation of Laura's World).
The one thing I never got behind, though, was the use of hashtags (our "pound signs" for those of you my age and older who also don't appreciate the dang hashbrown thingies). I eschewed other forms of social media, most notably Twitter and Instagram, for a long time... until the political landscape in mid- to late-2016 was so toxic, I took a couple of months' break from scrolling through the Facebook sludge and went to those two outlets to post and interact.
I loved how Instagram was mostly devoid of ranting, and quickly unfollowed people who only posted "infographics." It was bliss.
It was also this time that I started to appreciate the hashtag, in terms of ease of searching for related items. When we were thinking about moving to Spokane, I found #spokanedoesntsuck to offer some of the most fun and real slices of the city (as opposed to just looking for pictures tagged in Spokane).
Going down the rabbit trail of someone who "liked" one of my protein toddler concoctions, I found #macros that fascinated me for days. You have to wade through pictures of people weight-lifting and posing and whatnot, but there is so much food porn that's just incredible. These people who do extreme workouts get to the end of the day and often need to make up a bunch of fat and calories and protein to get their required macronutrients for the day (thus the hashtag). What they can get away with eating is incredible. Not worth working out, you know, but I like the pictures.
Which is to say, I "get" hashtags now, and appreciate their utility.
However, there are some hashtags that irritate me to the point that I think they just need to go away. You are welcome to disagree, but this is my blog, so I'm going to tell you what they are:
1) #nofilterneeded
It's probably a sign of the times we live in when I assume every image I view has been altered in some way. That's fine; a lot of times, I take a picture and what's in the view screen is not what my eyes interpreted. Punching these shots up to make up for your camera's white balance being off or your phone camera's inadequacy is cool. If someone takes an amazing picture and uses the hashtag #nofilter, I can more fully appreciate the magnificence of the capture as well as the subject. So I dig that one.
But the "no filter needed" hashtag is condescending. "This is one of God's beautifulest creations, and if you think that it requires altering through some basic pixel manipulation, then I will see you in hell, good sir." Thanks for the sermon.
2) #thestruggleisreal
This one, I get. There are lots of things that we can agree are common issues we butt up against every day. My problem is that, like "love," this gets applied all over the place. We can talk about the struggle for racial equality, or the struggle to lose that last 5 pounds. It can't mean everything, so it means nothing. Basically, it's suffering from overuse.
What if the Bible had been written in modern day? "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. #thestruggleisreal"
Thank goodness, it wasn't. Still, we're left with posts like this: "I need to put on pants to go to the store, but, ugh. Pants. #thestruggleisreal"
3) #blessed
The only acceptable use of this hashtag is ironically. For example: "This year, my husband celebrates being married to me for four years. #blessed" Or "Because I fractured my ankle, I get a temporary handicapped parking placard. #blessed"
When people say stuff like, "The MRI was clear! #blessed" or "Just got a raise! #blessed," they don't mean "blessed." In the first case, they mean maybe "fortunate." In the second, "hard work rewarded" or "lucky they're not paying attention."
4) When a hashtag actually just means you're adding another thought. Or many many thoughts.
Like I said, for searching's sake, or for grouping's sake, the hashtag is awesome. But often, people will write something like: "Just got home from vacation. #laundryfordays #realitysucks #ualostmybras #whereisthehamsterandwhydoesthesnakelooksohappy" or "Best day ever. #mysonborrowedmycarandlostmykeys #agarbagetruckhitmycat #poopedtwodifferentpairofpantscauseibs"
Just write it out. It takes so long to decipher the long hashtag with no spaces that I don't ever read that stuff. I'm just going to assume you really had the best day ever, and good for you. Besides, the odds are very small that you're ever going to remember that hashtag later, if you want to recall what you posted. "Was it #mykidborrowedmycarandlostthekeys or #sonborrowedcarlostleys or... oh, dang it."
In fact, in that second example it'd be better to write out what happened and use the #bestdayever. In the first, write out everything and use the hashtag #realitysucks. Oh, and goodness, can we stop using "vacay" or, worse, "vaca" (which is Spanish for cow, right?) in place of "vacation"? Sorry; it's not hashtag related, but it's a personal pet peeve.
My point is that those hashtagged items aren't incidental or searchable. They're part of what you want people to understand. So just write it out.
5) *sigh* Wedding hashtags?
Okay, okay. I'm waffling on this one just a bit. Admittedly, my first eye-roll reaction to this is likely my age, because "back in my day, we didn't have to come up with some clever classification just for the internets" or something like that.
But this is a lot of pressure if you're talking about a not-very-creative couple. You have to come up with something general enough to be easily remembered (even though you write it on your invitations, a rustic chalk board at the sign-in table, and probably have it on a piece of paper at your reception centerpieces) but also distinct enough that you can easily find YOUR stuff online.
For instance, if we'd used "jamesandlauraswedding," that might be like 5000 people and counting. We didn't do a wedding hashtag; though if we had, it might have been #junkmywedding. Because we got married at the Cathedral of Junk. My guess is #thisisajoke would have returned too many results (we got married on April 1). And #againreallylauraatsomepointyoumightwanttoadmitthatyouaretheproblem doesn't even fit nicely on one line in this blog, much less on people's phone screens.
I don't know. I can see how it's an inexpensive (free) way to gather pictures from your wedding on Instagram and save them for yourself. And I'm sure this phenomenon isn't going away, so... I don't hate it as much as I used to. I only half-roll my eyes.
6) #truthbomb
The visual of someone saying something so profound that all that's left is a devastating silence when they walk away was super powerful. Or it was when you first heard it. Now, like #thestruggle, it's just... whatever. "Poop stinks. #truthbomb" "His new girlfriend just isn't that pretty. #truthbomb" Nope. Let's stop it.
Related: #micdrop.
"I am #theway, the #truthbomb, and the #light. No one blows up the Father but by me. #micdrop" Some people are just understanding this passage for the first time.
That's it for now. As you might be able to tell from this entry, I'm going to be closer to 90 than birth pretty soon, so you can probably expect more of this type of opinion. OH NO. WAIT. THERE IS ONE MORE, on that note.
7) #hatersgonnahate
Who are we, that we have so many denigrators and detractors? Is it possible that there are largely imagined?
In addition to the fact that I don't think most people have genuine "haters," the redundancy of this is irritating: Haters are going to hate. Well, by definition, yeah.
Guess what else? Bakers gonna bake. Loafers gonna loaf. Children gonna chill. No, actually, they're not. I wish that ere true. But crackers gonna crack. I've seen it.
Stop fooling yourself that anyone thinks enough of what you're doing to summon up hate for it. Most of us have our own stuff going on and don't have the excess emotional energy to hate the fact that you ate an ice ream sundae for breakfast three days in a row. In fact, if I saw you, I'd give you a high five.
Okay. That's it. Fin.
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