(part of) A Day With Mal

Has either of us ever mentioned that this kid has a lot of energy?

I'm not sure when he really woke up, but I know that he was out and about and going strong by 8:53 this morning.

Last week, they had last-minute wardrobe issues getting to church. So Laura rushed for them both to get ready this morning. I'm not sure how she juggles it: if she gets dressed first, he's going to do something to ruin her outfit. Or he'll ruin his if she gets him dressed too early.

The kid has some skillz when it comes to creating a mess. (I say this in my most approving father voice).

They were out the door at 10:03.

Laura had a meeting with her pastor to talk about joining this new church (which sounds awesome) after the service. So I started getting dressed to pick up Mal at 11:01. I got there around 11:27, so I got to see what she meant about the traffic at the mega-church next door.

There was one kid on the playground (apparently she's *great*...she's a youngest sister who loves the chance to play big sis) besides Mal. And the attendant (I'm an awful person for not remembering her name).

But...it was weird. You show up at a playground, your kid runs to the fence, and starts asking why you can't join him.

There wasn't any reason, but I flashed back to a dozen movies I've seen where this is the setup for an abduction sequence. So I made it a point to stay outside the fence until Laura showed up.

Mal was busily (and happily) rearranging construction cones in the meantime. Then he broke out a pogo stick to use as a jack hammer for digging up the road, which seems to be his latest favorite pasttime.

He did interrupt this to complain about a rock in his shoe. The ladies there jumped to help when I pointed out what he was complaining about (they didn't understand his mouth noises), but he dumped it out himself once someone acknowledged it.

Laura showed up, kissed me good-bye, and Mal had to show off this tractor tricycle toy thing they have for him to ride around on. It's pretty awesome.

Then he took me out to find the silver car. He wanted to wait around for Laura at first, but I explained to him that the two of us were going to play while she went to school.

This explanation made total sense to him, and he was cool with it.

I'm still digesting that fact. I know, intellectually, that he's almost three years old. But that still seems like a lot of abstract concepts for him to be dealing with.

Or maybe he just reacted to my "This is OK" body language. Either way, we headed back into the mega-church traffic without any more complaints.

Waze managed to steer us away from all that traffic. But it also took us pretty much straight to the tollway. I was heading up the on-ramp and got panicked about whether I'd really strapped Mal in or not [I had, but it was scary until I'd verified it...how did I get this way?]

We took that to Home Depot. Pointing out construction equipment along the way. Mal seemed dubious at first. But then he saw the wheel barrows. And a couple of girls getting pushed around by some guy in a car-cart.

Mal really wanted a car-cart. So I suggested we go find one. And then he got lost in the sheer wonder.

I'm pretty sure the displays of electric drills were his favorites. But he kept asking me about other things, like augurs and sanders and table saws.

Then, as we were wandering down the fan/light aisle, he decided he wanted to look at the riding lawn mowers.

The more I think about this, the more impressed I get. That's a pretty serious abstract conceptual leap.

I pointed us over toward the garden center, and he found the mowers.

I'm not sure how much time we spent there. He went back and forth between exploring the mowers, extolling their virtues to everyone who walked past (no one seemed to appreciate it), crawling around on the floor to stare at the blades, and wandering the adjacent aisles to examine what might be worthy of a nearby spot.

He wasn't impressed with the chain saws, though I think the hedge trimmers were sufficiently intimidating.

We heard a chainsaw later, during the rain; I wonder if he made the connection when I made the same mouth noises (there was also an fire truck...he fastened on the siren).

And then he was done and wanted to head back to our car.

So I guided him that direction. We almost made it to the door before he spotted a giant sucker in the "buy this, you sucker" line. I got it for him, of course.

Actually, it seems worth mentioning that I paid cash and stuck the change in his pocket. Then he stuck the sucker in the same pocket, business part up.

It fell out, almost immediately. So I had him flip it over to keep it from flopping out.

It was still in the wrapper!

If he starts shoving half-eaten lollipops in his pant pockets, this is not my fault!

Well...maybe there's some genetic component there. But not because of this.

We got back to our car, and he wandered around it uncertainly for a bit. I think he wanted to see whether Laura would show up. I can't remember now whether I had to remind him that she was in school.

I do know that I managed to convince him that I was hungry and needed food. I probably growled and showed my teeth to convince him that I might eat him if I couldn't find something fresher and chubbier.

We almost moved on to Dos Salsas. I just didn't want to try to shepherd him there by myself. Although the food still sounds great.

After circling around their parking lot, we wound up at Dairy Queen.

Which, sadly for me and my gout, really doesn't have any vegetarian options.

So I grabbed a quarter pounder with something like "jilaquiles" and pepper jack cheese. And water. And a peanut buster parfait for afterward.

And I got Mal a kid's meal.

Before we ordered, I stepped into the men's room, and dragged him with me. Even though he was "a little worried" about the whole thing. I think he was mainly upset about the fact that the fact that the music was louder in there.

I did point out the Excelerator hand dryer and admit that it's loud. He had fun playing with the regular paper towel dispenser.

He ate some fries. With ketchup, because it's healthy. And salt. And we watched a lot of some silly Disney show.

He didn't like the Barq's rootbeer that I selected for him. It was too spicy.

He got a kick out of the ice cream sandwich. I think his kick was mostly digging the ice cream into his fingernails and smudging the sandwich part onto his fingers.

So we headed back to the bathroom to clean his hands off.

He was still a little scared.

This time, with a little reason.

There was a guy at the sink in front of us who moved on to using the Excelerator.

That part freaked Mal out a bit.

So I started herding him outside to use wet wipes to clean his hands that way instead.

On the way out the door, he noticed a little girl in a high chair. He totally went into predatory stalker mode with her, trying to get her to acknowledge him. Every time I apologized and tried to drag him away, her parents insisted that it was totally fine.

He never touched her, which was something. But...he just kept leaning in on top of her.

It was one of those "Dude, you can't treat ladies that way" kind of lessons.

So we left.

He listened to me (again!) about looking both ways before crossing the street. Then he barrelled across and tripped and planted on his knee.

It was a good road-rash scrape. Minor abrasion on the top layer, nice subcutaneous bleeding.

Laura and I had a good round of parental worry (after she'd bandaged him up) about trying to keep little boys from hurting themselves.

But, before we got there, I had to get him home.

He kept trying to go to sleep.

I probably should have just let him.

But I have this theory that I'll get to sleep earlier if he does. Or maybe that I'll sleep better if he goes to sleep earlier. Or something along those lines.

He kept trying to fall asleep on the way home. I tried to keep him awake.

He won, when he complained about how much it hurt when I poked him in his injured knee.

So he was crying when I put him in the car, he zoned out during the trip home, and then he cried when I pulled him out.

That sets us up for today's second half.