Case Clothesed!

Recently, someone posted a meme with different text, but with this picture... I'm linking to it, because I don't want to download it an post it here. There are several memes, some quite unkind. But the one my friend posted wasn't tacky. Still, it was paired with the picture.

What got to me wasn't the person who shared the picture, but the person who took the picture in the first place. It actually hurt me for this lady. It appears to be in a classroom of some type. Why not tap her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I'm not trying to be nosey but notice that your bra is not very securely attached. Is that okay, or do you want me to help you get it?" If you're the kind of person who's thinking, "Oh, I could never say something like that!" then I hope you're also the kind of person who couldn't imagine pulling out a phone and taking a snap of someone else's wardrobe potential malfunction.

This whole thought process reminded me that I used to spend hours on People of Walmart, giggling at the silliness. It's been years and years, and what this picture made me realize is that maybe, in my transition to gentle parenting, I've just become more gentle toward humanity in general. I've never liked to see people publicly disappointed or embarrassed, and now it's grown to include being unwilling sources of humor, I suppose.

But here's an issue I also have with all of that, as well as a well-intentioned article a friend posted today, which devolved in the comments section to what is "ladylike" to wear in public (of the "people used to know how to dress and now it's all gone to pot!" ilk): THIS IS 2017. PEOPLE SHOULD BE FREE TO WEAR WHATEVER THEY WANT TO WEAR.

People should be able to wear whatever comfortable, uncomfortably stylish, ugly, impractically fancy, fleecy, ripped lacey, leggings-as-pantsy, belly-baring, body-swallowing, traditional, formerly-gender-inappropriate thing that they want to wear.

Want to wear your formal wedding dress to buy groceries? Fun! Want to walk over to get a Slushie without changing from your night gown? Go for it! Taking your kid to the park but you already had on a broomstick skirt? Just be careful! Halfway through, realize it's too hot and take off your top so you're wearing only a sports bra? Super!

If YOU feel like it was "better" when people dressed up to run to town, dress up to run to town! Feel great about yourself! (And PLEASE teach me how to make pin curls you can sleep on.) At the same time, know that that gives you zero right to look down on anyone else, whatever they might have used to cover up their bodies. No right to feel "better." No right to assume you care more or are more gracious or respectful. It's your preference, and it's great, so embrace it. But if MY preference is not to spend an inordinate amount of time fixing up for an errand, that doesn't say a thing about my character. I just save my "fix up" time for my husband, or for when I know there will be pictures taken. Because I have other stuff to do. Stuff that I think is important, but you might not care about at all. And I promise not to look down on you because you don't have the same priorities and preferences.

I do not understand why anyone else thinks it's their business to asses the appropriateness of someone's clothes for their body type, situation, or temperature. Much less to say something out loud. Or take pictures.

I spent a lot of my young life feeling ashamed of my clothes. We couldn't afford Guess! back in the day when EVERYTHING was Guess! I had people say things to me like, "Boy, you don't like that shirt, do you? I can tell because you never wear it" about the one sort of nice, stylish Coke shirt I had in junior high, and, yeah, that I wore once a week because I felt awesome in it. I had someone say, "We were supposed to wear our BEST outfit tonight!" the last night of camp, after I'd showed up in the nicest thing that I'd brought, that I'd saved all week for the talent show. I've been keenly aware of being the only person in the room not wearing jewelry. Or the only one in sandals without a pedicure, or at least painted toenails. I've felt "poorer" or "less than" in my discount store jeans and Goodwill tops.

But now that I'm older and more mature, you know what? I realize now that poverty isn't as huge a factor in my wardrobe as I might have been tempted to assume in the past. Because, financially, I'm more stable now than I've ever been (thanks, honey!), and you know what? I'm a CHEAPSKATE about clothes! I buy what I like now, but not until it's on sale. And I don't wear jewelry because I'm allergic to most metals, including silver, and I just don't care enough to seek out other stuff. So when I go out, I'm wearing what I want, and I no longer feel self conscious. I feel comfortable. And if you're judging me, then... well, I feel sorry for you. Seriously, get something better to do. Because your opinion means nothing to me, so you're just wasting your energy.