This morning, I read an article on The Verge entitled, "I tried leaving Faceook. I couldn't."
In it, the author talks about one year she was off Facebook because of a terms of use violation, but how otherwise, in 12 years, she's been on in spite of not liking it. Besides the "groups" function, which really annoys me, too, because there are plenty of useful groups and FB used to have a Groups app you could access without the rest of the site, her basic reason boils down to Fear of Missing Out (or FOMO).
"I missed big personal news from people I knew. I missed dance parties and house parties and casual get-togethers. I was the last to find out about births and the last to see baby pictures. Classmates got engaged and married and I didn’t find out until after my hiatus."
I get it. I used to have over 200 views on my boring daily blog posts. Now that I'm off of Facebook (and therefore don't share the link), I get 30 on a good day. But I don't need readers enough to justify staying on a social platform that no longer serves me.
Because here's the truth: Any person who read (and presumably enjoyed, if they kept coming back; perhaps it was morbid curiosity) could find me and even sign up for notifications when I publish an entry. They were clicking through out of convenience.
That's a point the author above makes: Facebook does the "emotional labor" of maintaining contact with people so we don't have to. Thing is, that's only sort of true. It casts such a wide net that it feels like connection, even when it's not.
If I don't get invited to a friend's (or friend's kid's) birthday party because I'm not on Facebook... How good of friends are we, actually? If I want a friend or one of Mal's friends to come over, I'll contact them personally. Same with birthdays or meet-ups.
I don't really want to be "convenience" friends. I'd rather have one or two people who miss me so that after a while will reach out and suggest we get together sometime. If I miss that someone got married, then that will be something cool to talk about when we see each other. They can tell me a story well-worn to most people, but it will all be new and exciting to me!
Some people have asked me why I got off of Facebook whenever I did it. I don't have a pat answer. It wasn't the data stuff. It wasn't the polarization. It wasn't the time suck. It wasn't one thing. At some point, I just decided that it wasn't serving me, and I cut ties.
One thing that was a definite emotional drain on me was confrontations over misunderstood articulations of opinions, misunderstandings that would be much more easily avoided in a face-to-face conversation. I'd spend time offline mentally constructing replies that were gracious but absolved me of unflattering or ill-fitting opinions that had been assigned to me.
So many of my conversations in person were starting with, "Somebody posted..." I was being exposed to information not of my choosing, and it was taking up mental bandwidth that is already at a premium, what with maintaining a house with a teenager and a preschooler.
There might be downsides to leaving the largest social media platform on the planet, but I haven't felt any of them strongly enough to consider jumping back in.
Everybody have a great week! (All 18 of you!)
Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Case Clothesed!
Recently, someone posted a meme with different text, but with this picture... I'm linking to it, because I don't want to download it an post it here. There are several memes, some quite unkind. But the one my friend posted wasn't tacky. Still, it was paired with the picture.
What got to me wasn't the person who shared the picture, but the person who took the picture in the first place. It actually hurt me for this lady. It appears to be in a classroom of some type. Why not tap her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I'm not trying to be nosey but notice that your bra is not very securely attached. Is that okay, or do you want me to help you get it?" If you're the kind of person who's thinking, "Oh, I could never say something like that!" then I hope you're also the kind of person who couldn't imagine pulling out a phone and taking a snap of someone else's wardrobe potential malfunction.
This whole thought process reminded me that I used to spend hours on People of Walmart, giggling at the silliness. It's been years and years, and what this picture made me realize is that maybe, in my transition to gentle parenting, I've just become more gentle toward humanity in general. I've never liked to see people publicly disappointed or embarrassed, and now it's grown to include being unwilling sources of humor, I suppose.
But here's an issue I also have with all of that, as well as a well-intentioned article a friend posted today, which devolved in the comments section to what is "ladylike" to wear in public (of the "people used to know how to dress and now it's all gone to pot!" ilk): THIS IS 2017. PEOPLE SHOULD BE FREE TO WEAR WHATEVER THEY WANT TO WEAR.
People should be able to wear whatever comfortable, uncomfortably stylish, ugly, impractically fancy, fleecy, ripped lacey, leggings-as-pantsy, belly-baring, body-swallowing, traditional, formerly-gender-inappropriate thing that they want to wear.
Want to wear your formal wedding dress to buy groceries? Fun! Want to walk over to get a Slushie without changing from your night gown? Go for it! Taking your kid to the park but you already had on a broomstick skirt? Just be careful! Halfway through, realize it's too hot and take off your top so you're wearing only a sports bra? Super!
If YOU feel like it was "better" when people dressed up to run to town, dress up to run to town! Feel great about yourself! (And PLEASE teach me how to make pin curls you can sleep on.) At the same time, know that that gives you zero right to look down on anyone else, whatever they might have used to cover up their bodies. No right to feel "better." No right to assume you care more or are more gracious or respectful. It's your preference, and it's great, so embrace it. But if MY preference is not to spend an inordinate amount of time fixing up for an errand, that doesn't say a thing about my character. I just save my "fix up" time for my husband, or for when I know there will be pictures taken. Because I have other stuff to do. Stuff that I think is important, but you might not care about at all. And I promise not to look down on you because you don't have the same priorities and preferences.
I do not understand why anyone else thinks it's their business to asses the appropriateness of someone's clothes for their body type, situation, or temperature. Much less to say something out loud. Or take pictures.
I spent a lot of my young life feeling ashamed of my clothes. We couldn't afford Guess! back in the day when EVERYTHING was Guess! I had people say things to me like, "Boy, you don't like that shirt, do you? I can tell because you never wear it" about the one sort of nice, stylish Coke shirt I had in junior high, and, yeah, that I wore once a week because I felt awesome in it. I had someone say, "We were supposed to wear our BEST outfit tonight!" the last night of camp, after I'd showed up in the nicest thing that I'd brought, that I'd saved all week for the talent show. I've been keenly aware of being the only person in the room not wearing jewelry. Or the only one in sandals without a pedicure, or at least painted toenails. I've felt "poorer" or "less than" in my discount store jeans and Goodwill tops.
But now that I'm older and more mature, you know what? I realize now that poverty isn't as huge a factor in my wardrobe as I might have been tempted to assume in the past. Because, financially, I'm more stable now than I've ever been (thanks, honey!), and you know what? I'm a CHEAPSKATE about clothes! I buy what I like now, but not until it's on sale. And I don't wear jewelry because I'm allergic to most metals, including silver, and I just don't care enough to seek out other stuff. So when I go out, I'm wearing what I want, and I no longer feel self conscious. I feel comfortable. And if you're judging me, then... well, I feel sorry for you. Seriously, get something better to do. Because your opinion means nothing to me, so you're just wasting your energy.
What got to me wasn't the person who shared the picture, but the person who took the picture in the first place. It actually hurt me for this lady. It appears to be in a classroom of some type. Why not tap her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, I'm not trying to be nosey but notice that your bra is not very securely attached. Is that okay, or do you want me to help you get it?" If you're the kind of person who's thinking, "Oh, I could never say something like that!" then I hope you're also the kind of person who couldn't imagine pulling out a phone and taking a snap of someone else's wardrobe potential malfunction.
This whole thought process reminded me that I used to spend hours on People of Walmart, giggling at the silliness. It's been years and years, and what this picture made me realize is that maybe, in my transition to gentle parenting, I've just become more gentle toward humanity in general. I've never liked to see people publicly disappointed or embarrassed, and now it's grown to include being unwilling sources of humor, I suppose.
But here's an issue I also have with all of that, as well as a well-intentioned article a friend posted today, which devolved in the comments section to what is "ladylike" to wear in public (of the "people used to know how to dress and now it's all gone to pot!" ilk): THIS IS 2017. PEOPLE SHOULD BE FREE TO WEAR WHATEVER THEY WANT TO WEAR.
People should be able to wear whatever comfortable, uncomfortably stylish, ugly, impractically fancy, fleecy, ripped lacey, leggings-as-pantsy, belly-baring, body-swallowing, traditional, formerly-gender-inappropriate thing that they want to wear.
Want to wear your formal wedding dress to buy groceries? Fun! Want to walk over to get a Slushie without changing from your night gown? Go for it! Taking your kid to the park but you already had on a broomstick skirt? Just be careful! Halfway through, realize it's too hot and take off your top so you're wearing only a sports bra? Super!
If YOU feel like it was "better" when people dressed up to run to town, dress up to run to town! Feel great about yourself! (And PLEASE teach me how to make pin curls you can sleep on.) At the same time, know that that gives you zero right to look down on anyone else, whatever they might have used to cover up their bodies. No right to feel "better." No right to assume you care more or are more gracious or respectful. It's your preference, and it's great, so embrace it. But if MY preference is not to spend an inordinate amount of time fixing up for an errand, that doesn't say a thing about my character. I just save my "fix up" time for my husband, or for when I know there will be pictures taken. Because I have other stuff to do. Stuff that I think is important, but you might not care about at all. And I promise not to look down on you because you don't have the same priorities and preferences.
I do not understand why anyone else thinks it's their business to asses the appropriateness of someone's clothes for their body type, situation, or temperature. Much less to say something out loud. Or take pictures.
I spent a lot of my young life feeling ashamed of my clothes. We couldn't afford Guess! back in the day when EVERYTHING was Guess! I had people say things to me like, "Boy, you don't like that shirt, do you? I can tell because you never wear it" about the one sort of nice, stylish Coke shirt I had in junior high, and, yeah, that I wore once a week because I felt awesome in it. I had someone say, "We were supposed to wear our BEST outfit tonight!" the last night of camp, after I'd showed up in the nicest thing that I'd brought, that I'd saved all week for the talent show. I've been keenly aware of being the only person in the room not wearing jewelry. Or the only one in sandals without a pedicure, or at least painted toenails. I've felt "poorer" or "less than" in my discount store jeans and Goodwill tops.
But now that I'm older and more mature, you know what? I realize now that poverty isn't as huge a factor in my wardrobe as I might have been tempted to assume in the past. Because, financially, I'm more stable now than I've ever been (thanks, honey!), and you know what? I'm a CHEAPSKATE about clothes! I buy what I like now, but not until it's on sale. And I don't wear jewelry because I'm allergic to most metals, including silver, and I just don't care enough to seek out other stuff. So when I go out, I'm wearing what I want, and I no longer feel self conscious. I feel comfortable. And if you're judging me, then... well, I feel sorry for you. Seriously, get something better to do. Because your opinion means nothing to me, so you're just wasting your energy.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Input/Output
Today at Chick-fil-A, a lot of people looked for and at me. Because Mal had a lot of energy and kept running into the play area by himself. We couldn't sit close to the play area because the restaurant was busy. But I did watch him walk away, and kept an eye out for when he was coming back.
At one point, I realized that a table in the back corner was available, so I started packing up our food to move back there while he played. In the meantime, he ran back into the play area, and the table next to the door had four people giving me the eye.
Then I got my tray back in the corner and the people at another table asked, "Did you lose one?" I said, "Oh, no. I was just moving." I heard the woman say something to the man about how she didn't have the energy something something something.
Sigh.
Well, anyway, after he played for a while, he was really ready to go. So I packed up our stuff and we had a couple of books, which fit into my purse, then Mal's left-over food, and my soda. In other words, my hands were full. I asked Mal to stay with me, and he seemed like he was good for it.
By the way: Our Chick-fil-A is closed for remodeling, and the one where I went was so busy, I ended up parking in the strip mall parking lot behind it, so I had to walk across a parking lot thoroughfare, and then all the way around the building to get inside. So we had to walk all of that to get back to the car.
My kid can be a spaz. He really can. He can not listen to me, he can do his own thing with no regard to his own safety. But today, hd was great. Today, he stood to my left and we walked at the same speed all the way through to the car. I was on the outside, and we were chatting the whole way to the car.
As we got to the last traffic lane we'd have to cross, we walked through it, and a lady drove by and roller her window down. I looked at her, expecting... Well, I don't know what I was expecting, but I was smiling and was thinking pleasant thoughts.
Instead, she angrily said, "You need to hold that child's hand, that's what it is." I just smiled and nodded as she rolled up her window and drove away.
What the? Why? He was really good! I'm sorry if a free-range kid walking nicely through the parking lot makes YOU nervous. Then drive slowly and be cautious. You should, anyway. My kid did nothing. I did nothing. Why would you criticize my parenting because you have an imagination that got spooked?
Sigh.
And then, here we go with the fact that I'm a super hypocrite! Beacuse I mentally advised a parent at the gym. It was none of my business, but I had an opinion. I don't think I'm any better than the lady who told me to hold my kid's hand, either. I was pretty judgy.
At the gym today, a guy had a son who was probably about 3 or 4. He was asking his kid to sing the alphabet, which he did. Even as they ran around and played. Then he asked him to say another alphabet. I didn't hear what he called it, but his kid started with, "Alpha! Bravo!..." and so on. He had to be prompted every once in a while. Kind of funny to hear a preschooler pipe up in the quietness,
"Whiskey!"
After that, the dad asked him to say "Ah, bay, say..." which I'm guessing was French. Why, Dad? Just why? But that wasn't all. Later, the kid wanted the dad to help him jump "to the sky" on the trampoline. The dad said, "Okay, let's count, then I will." So the kid counted to 10, broken, with help, and really just gasping for air because he was getting a lot of exercise.
The dad helped him once, then said he'd help him again if he counted again. "Uno, dos..." I was freaking EXHAUSTED listening to the "lessons." Why can't the kid just play? Why does every second have to be an "enrichment" exercise? What is the point of making your kid learn to recite the alphabet at all, let alone in other languages? Counting I get, because I like to know how many M&Ms I'm consuming.
That's a joke, but only slightly.
My friend Justin said today, "Everyone is a parenting expert when it comes to other people's kids." Yeah. Same.
Meanwhile, my kid was just exhausted and nursed a good 15 minutes when we got there. No one has ever said anything about it to me, even though at this point I'm sure he looks like he's 6.
Oh, goodness, he was so tired that yesterday I let him take a "little" nap at 4. It lasted until 7:30, and he was awake until after 11. So even though he slept in a bit this morning, he was just a mess. So was I. He took a nap today closer to 3, and I'm hoping he wakes up soon so we don't have a repeat of last night. If that dog downstairs keeps barking, he just might.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
A No-Longer-Foregone Conclusion
A friend of mine had posted something on social media about how expensive child care is, sharing an article about how it costs more than college tuition (not this article, but this one has a lot of information that's interesting and crazy). After several people commiserated about it, including that high child care costs are why they don't have a second child, someone else popped in with "That's why everyone should get a college degree" or something to that extent.
What I thought was, "Seriously?! That's elitist BS." What I said was something about how my husband who does not have a college degree has exponentially more earning power than I do, and she congratulated me but she wants her kids to go to college, blah blah life experience and mind expanding, goal, complete something big, yadda yadda.
Many of you know that my ideas about education, and specifically institutionalized education, are far from mainstream. Mike Rowe has actually done a lot to move this conversation into the forefront, with lots of practical information and research to back up what I've intuited for years. (By the way, bookmark that page. There's a ton of good stuff on there.)
I distinctly remember having the "life experience" conversation with another homeschool mom when D was very young, maybe even preschool-aged. Our family paradigm is not "school, college, career." I am sure some people genuinely have transformative experiences in college, but is that the only way to have those experiences? I'm almost certain that if you gave a 20-year-old as much money (or had them work to earn it, whatever you're planning to do for your kid's schooling) as a year in college would cost and told them to pick a foreign country and go live there, travel, meet people, learn the language, they'd grow even more than they would in classes at a university.
Kids coming out of their teens and into their young adult lives are like butterflies emerging from a chrysalis (note: I just realized a couple of weeks ago that "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" is not biologically correct, as it refers to a "cocoon," which is a moth home, not a butterfly one), so I don't think the college setting is magical. I think it's the age and the being away from home.
Here's the thing: I'm not anti-college! It's super important to get a degree if you're going to be a teacher or lawyer or doctor or any of those things that you have to study very specific coursework, especially as a foundation for more difficult coursework in graduate or law or medical school or whatever. For me, I have a theater degree, and, gosh, I had some good times, but I could have learned the exact same things volunteering with a robust community theater.
But here's where I bristle at a lot of the ideas about college, degrees, and "getting a better job": If you look up online, "Is a college degree worth it?" the main answers you're going to see are in terms of salaries. They compare salaries among the same jobs for people who have a college degree and who don't. Or jobs people without a college degree "can" get compared to ones that have the degree as a requirement. This whole system makes some assumptions that make me uncomfortable because they're limiting and, again, elitist.
There is this thought process that goes: school, pick a potential career/major, go to college, graduate, more school and/or get a job and start making a living. Like this is how life is meant to work. Like this is how life has always worked.
Do you know when I think my husband had the most fun and really enjoyed himself and freedom? When he was living in his car in the Seattle area. He'd do day labor when he wanted to and needed or wanted money, but if he didn't want to work, he didn't. He had a dog. He had friends. When we visited a couple of years ago, I saw some genuine nostalgia there.
According to articles and numbers, his story would be a sad one. Homeless (although his "homelessness" was not the same genre as the forced homelessness that's often fueled by mental illness or drug dependency; it was voluntary). Day labor. Not much money. Dang it. He should have gone to college.
This spin presumes that a high salary is the arbiter of happiness.
Now, let me say that I understand there is a difference between having tight margins and between the genuine struggle and inability to make ends meet. So I'm not trying to minimize the troubles some people have.
However, having "more money" versus "a little less money" might not matter to some people. Might not matter to a lot of people.
One of James' friends (maybe an old girlfriend?) told him that a college degree was important because it proved you can jump through the necessary hoops. Ugh. I can't even talk about that.
There are some thoughts I love in this summary of a survey of grown unschoolers. Namely this one: "The great majority of respondents were gainfully employed at the time of the survey. Exceptions were some of the full-time students and some mothers with young children. Of those who responded to the follow-up questionnaire, 78% said they were financially self-sufficient, though a number of these added that their income was modest and they were financially independent in part because of their frugal lifestyle. Several of them described frugality as a value and said they would far rather do work they enjoyed and found meaningful than other work that would be more lucrative."
Is there room for discussing job/life satisfaction as we ponder the "necessity" of a college education?
I'm one of those "college educated" people who is considered a "short termer" in the job market, as I have mostly stayed home. I get paid nothing, and I absolutely love what I'm doing (though I would like it even more if it included more sleep).
I'm not even talking about education inflation or the high level of student loan debt from undergraduate degrees alone, the fact that a degree does NOT guarantee a job like it used to, or the reality that when it came time for me to be professionally credentialed (as a Real Estate Agent, and then later as an Insurance Agent), I had to learn everything I needed to know on my own. Nothing relevant to any job I've ever had was present in my college education.
I just wish people could break out of the kindergarten-to-job-track mindset. There are so many viable options today: military, Job/Peace Corps, starting a job as a teen and working your way up (seriously; in retail and food service, there is a lot of turn-over, and advancement opportunities for someone showing up and kicking butt are plentiful), creating your own job (teaching tennis or walking dogs or mobile auto detailing), opening an Etsy shop or a Patreon account or something like that (yeah, maybe not a living wage, but it also might be), trade school, apprenticeships, etc.
There's room for all sorts of opportunities.
Along with the "school, school, school, school, job" paradigm is a very "standard" life that includes having a fairly nice house where you can be proud to entertain and have plenty of room to spread out. That's cool if it's what you want because it's really what you want (not just your conditioning), but it's not necessary.
When I was a single parent, my daughter and I lived in an RV because doing that was both how I met some priorities I had, but also because it had always been a dream of mine. Except that it got very hot and very cold (lesson learned: get all-weather insulation if you're going to full-time it), I loved living there. It took 5 minutes to clean, we spent lots of time together, there was no yard work, and I'd live in an RV with my family right this moment if it weren't for the fact that a certain teenager and a certain introverted husband would lose their stuffin' from the lack of private space.
However, when D and I lived there, we never felt cramped. You know what else? I never once felt self-conscious. I had people over, we had dinners and game days and D had sleep-overs. Everyone (except for one person, and, whatever) thought it was so cool. D's dad was worried about the "stigma" associated with living in an RV, but I think her friends all left saying they wished they could live in a camper.
This is kind of along the lines of the unschooling survey: frugality (even to what most people would think is to the extreme) leads to not necessarily having to have the highest-paying jobs. It's all a matter of what makes a person happy, and if they can be happy working 37 hours a week at Sam's Club to facilitate not having to take work home, and being truly free on their off time, then good for them.
Feeling like the folks who "flip burgers" or clean the restrooms at the fair or dig ditches are somehow inferior or more pathetic or probably not as happy is what I meant by elitist BS.
A photographer I follow on Instagram really hated his M-F 8-7 life and wanted to be as happy as he was taking pictures on weekends. So he quit his job, lived in his Subaru, and visited state and National Parks. He recently bought a really nice camper van (one of those that looks like a van on the outside and can park in a regular parking space, similar to this, but not exactly like it... also: droool). He is not in the "high-paying job" category anymore, but he is happy. He is free.
I could go on with the anecdotes for a long time, but just wanted to dangle this out there, in case anyone cares. College is great when necessary, and there is tons that can be done to mitigate the cost. But just the idea of "you have to get a college education to get a good job" needs to go away. We need to ask the question, "What do I (or my kids) need to do to have a good life?"
What I thought was, "Seriously?! That's elitist BS." What I said was something about how my husband who does not have a college degree has exponentially more earning power than I do, and she congratulated me but she wants her kids to go to college, blah blah life experience and mind expanding, goal, complete something big, yadda yadda.
Many of you know that my ideas about education, and specifically institutionalized education, are far from mainstream. Mike Rowe has actually done a lot to move this conversation into the forefront, with lots of practical information and research to back up what I've intuited for years. (By the way, bookmark that page. There's a ton of good stuff on there.)
I distinctly remember having the "life experience" conversation with another homeschool mom when D was very young, maybe even preschool-aged. Our family paradigm is not "school, college, career." I am sure some people genuinely have transformative experiences in college, but is that the only way to have those experiences? I'm almost certain that if you gave a 20-year-old as much money (or had them work to earn it, whatever you're planning to do for your kid's schooling) as a year in college would cost and told them to pick a foreign country and go live there, travel, meet people, learn the language, they'd grow even more than they would in classes at a university.
Kids coming out of their teens and into their young adult lives are like butterflies emerging from a chrysalis (note: I just realized a couple of weeks ago that "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" is not biologically correct, as it refers to a "cocoon," which is a moth home, not a butterfly one), so I don't think the college setting is magical. I think it's the age and the being away from home.
Here's the thing: I'm not anti-college! It's super important to get a degree if you're going to be a teacher or lawyer or doctor or any of those things that you have to study very specific coursework, especially as a foundation for more difficult coursework in graduate or law or medical school or whatever. For me, I have a theater degree, and, gosh, I had some good times, but I could have learned the exact same things volunteering with a robust community theater.
But here's where I bristle at a lot of the ideas about college, degrees, and "getting a better job": If you look up online, "Is a college degree worth it?" the main answers you're going to see are in terms of salaries. They compare salaries among the same jobs for people who have a college degree and who don't. Or jobs people without a college degree "can" get compared to ones that have the degree as a requirement. This whole system makes some assumptions that make me uncomfortable because they're limiting and, again, elitist.
There is this thought process that goes: school, pick a potential career/major, go to college, graduate, more school and/or get a job and start making a living. Like this is how life is meant to work. Like this is how life has always worked.
Do you know when I think my husband had the most fun and really enjoyed himself and freedom? When he was living in his car in the Seattle area. He'd do day labor when he wanted to and needed or wanted money, but if he didn't want to work, he didn't. He had a dog. He had friends. When we visited a couple of years ago, I saw some genuine nostalgia there.
According to articles and numbers, his story would be a sad one. Homeless (although his "homelessness" was not the same genre as the forced homelessness that's often fueled by mental illness or drug dependency; it was voluntary). Day labor. Not much money. Dang it. He should have gone to college.
This spin presumes that a high salary is the arbiter of happiness.
Now, let me say that I understand there is a difference between having tight margins and between the genuine struggle and inability to make ends meet. So I'm not trying to minimize the troubles some people have.
However, having "more money" versus "a little less money" might not matter to some people. Might not matter to a lot of people.
One of James' friends (maybe an old girlfriend?) told him that a college degree was important because it proved you can jump through the necessary hoops. Ugh. I can't even talk about that.
There are some thoughts I love in this summary of a survey of grown unschoolers. Namely this one: "The great majority of respondents were gainfully employed at the time of the survey. Exceptions were some of the full-time students and some mothers with young children. Of those who responded to the follow-up questionnaire, 78% said they were financially self-sufficient, though a number of these added that their income was modest and they were financially independent in part because of their frugal lifestyle. Several of them described frugality as a value and said they would far rather do work they enjoyed and found meaningful than other work that would be more lucrative."
Is there room for discussing job/life satisfaction as we ponder the "necessity" of a college education?
I'm one of those "college educated" people who is considered a "short termer" in the job market, as I have mostly stayed home. I get paid nothing, and I absolutely love what I'm doing (though I would like it even more if it included more sleep).
I'm not even talking about education inflation or the high level of student loan debt from undergraduate degrees alone, the fact that a degree does NOT guarantee a job like it used to, or the reality that when it came time for me to be professionally credentialed (as a Real Estate Agent, and then later as an Insurance Agent), I had to learn everything I needed to know on my own. Nothing relevant to any job I've ever had was present in my college education.
I just wish people could break out of the kindergarten-to-job-track mindset. There are so many viable options today: military, Job/Peace Corps, starting a job as a teen and working your way up (seriously; in retail and food service, there is a lot of turn-over, and advancement opportunities for someone showing up and kicking butt are plentiful), creating your own job (teaching tennis or walking dogs or mobile auto detailing), opening an Etsy shop or a Patreon account or something like that (yeah, maybe not a living wage, but it also might be), trade school, apprenticeships, etc.
There's room for all sorts of opportunities.
Along with the "school, school, school, school, job" paradigm is a very "standard" life that includes having a fairly nice house where you can be proud to entertain and have plenty of room to spread out. That's cool if it's what you want because it's really what you want (not just your conditioning), but it's not necessary.
When I was a single parent, my daughter and I lived in an RV because doing that was both how I met some priorities I had, but also because it had always been a dream of mine. Except that it got very hot and very cold (lesson learned: get all-weather insulation if you're going to full-time it), I loved living there. It took 5 minutes to clean, we spent lots of time together, there was no yard work, and I'd live in an RV with my family right this moment if it weren't for the fact that a certain teenager and a certain introverted husband would lose their stuffin' from the lack of private space.
However, when D and I lived there, we never felt cramped. You know what else? I never once felt self-conscious. I had people over, we had dinners and game days and D had sleep-overs. Everyone (except for one person, and, whatever) thought it was so cool. D's dad was worried about the "stigma" associated with living in an RV, but I think her friends all left saying they wished they could live in a camper.
This is kind of along the lines of the unschooling survey: frugality (even to what most people would think is to the extreme) leads to not necessarily having to have the highest-paying jobs. It's all a matter of what makes a person happy, and if they can be happy working 37 hours a week at Sam's Club to facilitate not having to take work home, and being truly free on their off time, then good for them.
Feeling like the folks who "flip burgers" or clean the restrooms at the fair or dig ditches are somehow inferior or more pathetic or probably not as happy is what I meant by elitist BS.
A photographer I follow on Instagram really hated his M-F 8-7 life and wanted to be as happy as he was taking pictures on weekends. So he quit his job, lived in his Subaru, and visited state and National Parks. He recently bought a really nice camper van (one of those that looks like a van on the outside and can park in a regular parking space, similar to this, but not exactly like it... also: droool). He is not in the "high-paying job" category anymore, but he is happy. He is free.
I could go on with the anecdotes for a long time, but just wanted to dangle this out there, in case anyone cares. College is great when necessary, and there is tons that can be done to mitigate the cost. But just the idea of "you have to get a college education to get a good job" needs to go away. We need to ask the question, "What do I (or my kids) need to do to have a good life?"
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Why I'll Never Get Into "Direct Marketing" (AKA "MLM")
There are so few things I can't say I'd never do. Honestly, I make it a point pretty much never to say that, because, holy cow, I've done some things in my life that I never would have imagined my doing.
However.
I can promise you, friends and family and all of the internets, I will never get into "sales" with a multi-level marketing format. I just won't. There is literally no life situation in which I could be that would entice me to do direct sales. None. I couldn't. I can't. I would suck at it. And here are some reasons why.
1. "Shamespiration" makes me physically ill. I have friends who post inspirational things on social media, because this is what flows out of them. Some post inspirational things in general. Some about the LGBT community. Some about working out and fitness (to each his own). Some about parenting. Awesome.
But there is a "tone" that comes through certain posts that is a flashing warning signal to me that someone just drank the MLM Kool-Aid and although they're not ready to show their cards yet, they're going to give you a freaking "higher plane" smackdown that's supposed to ripen you for the picking when they're at that place and want to reel you in, if you'll excuse me for mixing metaphors.
Listen, guys, we know this is a thing. A quick Google search, or a look at this cringe-worthy Pinterest page confirms it. Some of those sound great, right? I mean, what's wrong with starting a home-based business? Nothing. But are you really starting a home-based business if you're buying into someone else's business and moving merchandise to your friends and neighbors, really? To me, starting a business means finding a need and meeting it using your own mojo, but I majored in drama, so what do I know?
What's wrong with loving your work? Nothing. But you know who loves his job? My husband. You know what he isn't doing? Shaming people on social media who don't love their jobs as much as he does. Why? Because he's not a douche nugget. No one voted him their personal coach, so he doesn't have to send these malcontent vibes vaguely disguised as "helpful" quotes out into his social circles.
Anyway, this "tactic" is not stealth. We can smell it from a mile away, and if people are at all like me, it just makes us want to run in the other direction.
2. I'm not materialistic. Do you have to be materialistic to get into MLM? Probably not, but, gosh, they sell it like you do.
First, at almost any MLM pep rally, they seem to have a very targeted valet policy, which involves parking all of the Maseratis and Porches and whatnot in front of the venue, lined up nicely, so that "ambassadors" or whatever can take pictures of the amazing wheels, the purchase of which selling Company XYZs whatever facilitated. So they post these pictures to the tune of "See what you could have if you were doing what I'm doing?"
Second, photos of income checks. Seriously, people?! Did your parents not teach you that some things are just gauche? Think about it: There are LOTS of self-employed people. Does your independent insurance agent post his paychecks online? Or talk about how much money he makes? Your doctor? Your kids' teacher? Besides, if someone who provides a product or service to you is bragging about how very VERY much money they're making, wouldn't you be suspicious about what they're charging you?
I know, I know. They're not posting for the customers. They're posting for the down-link. It's really sleazy, if you asked me. It's like taking your privates out in public and bragging about them. If you're the real deal, and you're actually confident, and you have something worth having, you don't need to show it off. It just is what it is.
3. I'm content. Or maybe I should say that I'm not ambitious. My life is not extraordinary. It's pretty low key and I'm sure not many people notice it. I influence my immediate surroundings, but that's about it. And you know what? I'm good with it. A lot of direct marketing people talk about dreaming big, scary dreams. Well, maybe I have some of those in the pipeline, too, but you know what? They have literally zero to do with selling crap, and they have literally zero to do with raking in a bunch of cash at the expense of my relationships, counting on former friends and family either to buy from or sell under me. They have nothing to do with how much money I can make to buy my "freedom" to do what I really want to do. I want nothing but a full night's sleep, and obviously I could have someone manage the kid so I could sleep through, if I REALLY wanted that more than anything else, but apparently, I have different priorities. So even my most basic dreams are tempered by the fact that I'm not willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want.
According to the MLM machine, I'm to be pitied for the small life I'm willing to accept. Whatever. I'm pretty happy. Guess I'm just dumb and ignorant that way. There are worse things.
4. I am not willing to alienate my true friends and family. I'm just going to be honest here: I've noticed that, while it seems like most friends have longtime friends who try to be supportive when they first start with "direct marketing," over time, the only people responding to their tired old posts about their incredible lives with this company are other people involved in the selling. Where did their old friends and family go? It's just exhausting to feel "sold to" all of the time. There are the "informative" social media posts (which are actually touting whatever product it is, and/or bashing alternate products), the aforementioned "shamespiration" posts, the sales notices, the party notices... oh, and speaking of that...
THE "PARTIES," man. Those are the worst! "Free food" and "you don't have to buy anything" have to be the most disingenuous phrases ever. A party should have food, and you shouldn't have to buy anything. Those things aren't parties. They're sales conferences. I've been invited to so many "fun nights with some friends" to "help" a mutual friend with their "business" by acquaintances who have never before and not once since ever tried to get together with me on a personal level. Not one-on-one and not with several friends. It's not a party. It's not a social event. Don't insult us by pretending it is. I would never do that to people I respected and cared about... well, or to anyone, because... ugh. And that's why I can never do this stuff.
Once, a lady in Las Vegas invited me to a girls' night at her house. She'd hosted one or two before, but this time, after everyone had RSVPed and signed up for what food to bring, she let us know that she'd told one of the guests she could make her Southern Living Home presentation at the beginning, THEN we'd all party and head out to the pool, and don't worry, you don't have to buy anything, but, hey, let's all spend 40 minutes gushing over the cool stuff while the sign-up sheet goes around, anyway, and some of us are just fuming that we got bait-and-switched. Scummy business practice.
5. I'm too frugal (cheap?). I do not care what anyone says. I just don't. Whether it's Pampered Chef or Jamberry or Scentsy or Avon or anything... I know people have their favorite products from those lines, but I'm going to tell you something: You can get all of that stuff from other stores, usually cheaper and often much, much cheaper. The company line is that somehow, their products really are different enough that the ones at the stores are somehow inferior. There have been tests done. Yeah, I'm sure that there have. Whatever. No. I can't spend $25 on something I could get for $8.50 just because someone would rather push that stuff than work at McDonald's. I couldn't buy it myself as a distributor, either. I'm just way too conscious about what things costs and how much I spend.
6. I don't like being played. Here's the deal, guys. Did you ever go to church camp when you were younger, and you felt very close to God and then came home and after a while, you just felt achingly "normal" again? You learn that these are "mountaintop experiences" and while they're meaningful and all, that kind of emotional enthusiasm can't be sustained; you have to have something deeper. (And if you don't have a faith story like that, it can really be anything: when you won a spelling bee and felt super smart and loved school, or when you finally kissed that guy for the first time after having dreamt about it for twenty-plus years, or whatever.)
The "pep rallies" those companies have are exactly that. They have to keep whipping their distributors into a frenzy, reselling themselves over and over again so people don't get fed up and stop. When friends post pictures from their "awesome" weekend, I don't think, "Gosh, what a great life!" I think, "Gee, how are they getting caught up on their weekend chores, like ever?"
There's a scene from my favorite show, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, when they travel to a franchisee meeting for Marvelous Marvin's Hamburgers, and everyone very heartily sings this really stupid song that goes, "Let’s go to Marvin’s, and bite into a smile… We know you love burgers, so we go that extra mile… With juicy double patties, cheese, tomatoes, onions too. Served any way you like them, ‘cause we make them just for you…" That is what I picture in my head any time anyone goes to one of these things.
And what makes it *worse* is when God is mixed in. When a company leader hires a famous Christian musician to come "lead worship" at their sales convention? I'm sorry, people, but that's disgusting. I'm not judging any one person's experience here, because worship can and does happen anywhere and everywhere and that's fine. But to me, a company calculatingly uses (and abuses, in the Ten Commandment sort of way) God's name when it tries to create a camaraderie based on a common faith. It's wrong. They know what they're doing, even if the attendees don't. Please don't argue with me about this. Just because I'm cynical doesn't mean that I'm wrong. I'm 100% not wrong.
7. I can't play the games. In addition to the social media posts that don't come from the heart (I never ever do throw-backs, or change my profile picture in solidarity, or repost something I've been told to do, or participate in challenges, etc. so you can darn well bet I'm not going to post something my "boss" tells me to post on MY social media account), and the "acting like we're friends, but I really want to be your business associate (read: make money off of you)", and the general smarminess of hitting up friends and family, there's something else lots of MLM people do: Hit up strangers in public places.
I actually was asked in a Walmart to do a makeover for Avon, because of my beautiful skin, back when D was a baby and we lived in Vegas. I knew it was a sales thing, but I wanted to go because it was an excuse to get out of the house and have a few minutes to myself.
First, this lady had a legit cosmetics counter (think Dillard's) in her living room. She had drunk the 10-gallon Coleman cooler, man. Also, everything but that counter and the kitchen table had dust on it. Lots of dust. Even the kitchen cabinet doors. Vertical dust. She asked me if I wanted a drink, but I was too scared.
So she did the facial, then explained that she'd need to do the make-up part at a separate visit. I didn't buy anything that day because I was annoyed by her stupid game. I'd gone fully prepared to make some purchase, but instead told her I'd wait to see how my skin looked later and let her know.
When I went back for the make-up part, that was when the fun really started.
Toward the beginning, she handed me a concealer after putting some under my eyes, and she told me I could put it anywhere I had problem areas. I think I had a zit or something at the time, and I covered it. I handed it back to her, and she seemed disappointed, "That's it?" Well, yeah. Sorry I like my face.
Then she put on the foundation. She turned me away from the mirror to do the rest of it. When she got done, she was like a preschooler at Christmas. She turned me back toward the mirror, and... I thought, "This is too much makeup." But it didn't look bad. She'd given me a couple of tips I was able to use later, in every day wear, as well as a couple of things I used when we had pictures made. So I studied myself, smiled, and said, "It looks nice."
Once again, I apparently crushed her expectations.
"'Nice'?! Most women CRY when they see themselves for the first time."
Again, my obnoxious contentment with the normal, less covered-up state of my face just ruined everything for this woman.
In the end, I bought a couple of things, but I really hated the foundation. I never wear foundation, and the Avon foundation in particular, I could smell all day. I never stopped smelling it. It was not good.
Anyway, I wouldn't invite strangers into my home. I wouldn't approach a stranger under the guise of doing them some solid. I hate it when it's done to me, and maybe that's the thing: I have actual empathy and a desire to see people go about their lives happily instead of that "I know what would make you happy; do what I do, dammit!"
8. This attitude:
So, that's it, then? It's all about getting paid. It's about someone making money, honestly, even if it IS a scam (and pyramids always are, because someone's always at the bottom and gets screwed... which is why I also don't do those "mail one person a book and you'll get 36 books in two months" things, because they break down and someone loses). Even if it alienates friends and family. Even if it's just a flash in the pan and doesn't amount to anything ten years from now but a waste of your time and relationships. Even with all of that, at least for a while, you still get paid. Congratulations. And no thanks.
P.S. If you're in a direct marketing situation and you want to argue with me about how none of this is true, don't bother. It's true in the experiences I've had, so you don't need to defend a specific company, or try to convince me that it's different, better, the ambassadors are happy, etc. If you want to make a difference in the reputation of MLMs, then DO STUFF BETTER. Do it differently. The structure makes me skeptical that that is a possibility, but that's the only way you can change my mind. Words won't. I've experienced this for more than half of my middle-aged life.
However.
I can promise you, friends and family and all of the internets, I will never get into "sales" with a multi-level marketing format. I just won't. There is literally no life situation in which I could be that would entice me to do direct sales. None. I couldn't. I can't. I would suck at it. And here are some reasons why.
1. "Shamespiration" makes me physically ill. I have friends who post inspirational things on social media, because this is what flows out of them. Some post inspirational things in general. Some about the LGBT community. Some about working out and fitness (to each his own). Some about parenting. Awesome.
But there is a "tone" that comes through certain posts that is a flashing warning signal to me that someone just drank the MLM Kool-Aid and although they're not ready to show their cards yet, they're going to give you a freaking "higher plane" smackdown that's supposed to ripen you for the picking when they're at that place and want to reel you in, if you'll excuse me for mixing metaphors.
Listen, guys, we know this is a thing. A quick Google search, or a look at this cringe-worthy Pinterest page confirms it. Some of those sound great, right? I mean, what's wrong with starting a home-based business? Nothing. But are you really starting a home-based business if you're buying into someone else's business and moving merchandise to your friends and neighbors, really? To me, starting a business means finding a need and meeting it using your own mojo, but I majored in drama, so what do I know?
What's wrong with loving your work? Nothing. But you know who loves his job? My husband. You know what he isn't doing? Shaming people on social media who don't love their jobs as much as he does. Why? Because he's not a douche nugget. No one voted him their personal coach, so he doesn't have to send these malcontent vibes vaguely disguised as "helpful" quotes out into his social circles.
Anyway, this "tactic" is not stealth. We can smell it from a mile away, and if people are at all like me, it just makes us want to run in the other direction.
2. I'm not materialistic. Do you have to be materialistic to get into MLM? Probably not, but, gosh, they sell it like you do.
First, at almost any MLM pep rally, they seem to have a very targeted valet policy, which involves parking all of the Maseratis and Porches and whatnot in front of the venue, lined up nicely, so that "ambassadors" or whatever can take pictures of the amazing wheels, the purchase of which selling Company XYZs whatever facilitated. So they post these pictures to the tune of "See what you could have if you were doing what I'm doing?"
Second, photos of income checks. Seriously, people?! Did your parents not teach you that some things are just gauche? Think about it: There are LOTS of self-employed people. Does your independent insurance agent post his paychecks online? Or talk about how much money he makes? Your doctor? Your kids' teacher? Besides, if someone who provides a product or service to you is bragging about how very VERY much money they're making, wouldn't you be suspicious about what they're charging you?
I know, I know. They're not posting for the customers. They're posting for the down-link. It's really sleazy, if you asked me. It's like taking your privates out in public and bragging about them. If you're the real deal, and you're actually confident, and you have something worth having, you don't need to show it off. It just is what it is.
3. I'm content. Or maybe I should say that I'm not ambitious. My life is not extraordinary. It's pretty low key and I'm sure not many people notice it. I influence my immediate surroundings, but that's about it. And you know what? I'm good with it. A lot of direct marketing people talk about dreaming big, scary dreams. Well, maybe I have some of those in the pipeline, too, but you know what? They have literally zero to do with selling crap, and they have literally zero to do with raking in a bunch of cash at the expense of my relationships, counting on former friends and family either to buy from or sell under me. They have nothing to do with how much money I can make to buy my "freedom" to do what I really want to do. I want nothing but a full night's sleep, and obviously I could have someone manage the kid so I could sleep through, if I REALLY wanted that more than anything else, but apparently, I have different priorities. So even my most basic dreams are tempered by the fact that I'm not willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want.
According to the MLM machine, I'm to be pitied for the small life I'm willing to accept. Whatever. I'm pretty happy. Guess I'm just dumb and ignorant that way. There are worse things.
4. I am not willing to alienate my true friends and family. I'm just going to be honest here: I've noticed that, while it seems like most friends have longtime friends who try to be supportive when they first start with "direct marketing," over time, the only people responding to their tired old posts about their incredible lives with this company are other people involved in the selling. Where did their old friends and family go? It's just exhausting to feel "sold to" all of the time. There are the "informative" social media posts (which are actually touting whatever product it is, and/or bashing alternate products), the aforementioned "shamespiration" posts, the sales notices, the party notices... oh, and speaking of that...
THE "PARTIES," man. Those are the worst! "Free food" and "you don't have to buy anything" have to be the most disingenuous phrases ever. A party should have food, and you shouldn't have to buy anything. Those things aren't parties. They're sales conferences. I've been invited to so many "fun nights with some friends" to "help" a mutual friend with their "business" by acquaintances who have never before and not once since ever tried to get together with me on a personal level. Not one-on-one and not with several friends. It's not a party. It's not a social event. Don't insult us by pretending it is. I would never do that to people I respected and cared about... well, or to anyone, because... ugh. And that's why I can never do this stuff.
Once, a lady in Las Vegas invited me to a girls' night at her house. She'd hosted one or two before, but this time, after everyone had RSVPed and signed up for what food to bring, she let us know that she'd told one of the guests she could make her Southern Living Home presentation at the beginning, THEN we'd all party and head out to the pool, and don't worry, you don't have to buy anything, but, hey, let's all spend 40 minutes gushing over the cool stuff while the sign-up sheet goes around, anyway, and some of us are just fuming that we got bait-and-switched. Scummy business practice.
5. I'm too frugal (cheap?). I do not care what anyone says. I just don't. Whether it's Pampered Chef or Jamberry or Scentsy or Avon or anything... I know people have their favorite products from those lines, but I'm going to tell you something: You can get all of that stuff from other stores, usually cheaper and often much, much cheaper. The company line is that somehow, their products really are different enough that the ones at the stores are somehow inferior. There have been tests done. Yeah, I'm sure that there have. Whatever. No. I can't spend $25 on something I could get for $8.50 just because someone would rather push that stuff than work at McDonald's. I couldn't buy it myself as a distributor, either. I'm just way too conscious about what things costs and how much I spend.
6. I don't like being played. Here's the deal, guys. Did you ever go to church camp when you were younger, and you felt very close to God and then came home and after a while, you just felt achingly "normal" again? You learn that these are "mountaintop experiences" and while they're meaningful and all, that kind of emotional enthusiasm can't be sustained; you have to have something deeper. (And if you don't have a faith story like that, it can really be anything: when you won a spelling bee and felt super smart and loved school, or when you finally kissed that guy for the first time after having dreamt about it for twenty-plus years, or whatever.)
The "pep rallies" those companies have are exactly that. They have to keep whipping their distributors into a frenzy, reselling themselves over and over again so people don't get fed up and stop. When friends post pictures from their "awesome" weekend, I don't think, "Gosh, what a great life!" I think, "Gee, how are they getting caught up on their weekend chores, like ever?"
There's a scene from my favorite show, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, when they travel to a franchisee meeting for Marvelous Marvin's Hamburgers, and everyone very heartily sings this really stupid song that goes, "Let’s go to Marvin’s, and bite into a smile… We know you love burgers, so we go that extra mile… With juicy double patties, cheese, tomatoes, onions too. Served any way you like them, ‘cause we make them just for you…" That is what I picture in my head any time anyone goes to one of these things.
And what makes it *worse* is when God is mixed in. When a company leader hires a famous Christian musician to come "lead worship" at their sales convention? I'm sorry, people, but that's disgusting. I'm not judging any one person's experience here, because worship can and does happen anywhere and everywhere and that's fine. But to me, a company calculatingly uses (and abuses, in the Ten Commandment sort of way) God's name when it tries to create a camaraderie based on a common faith. It's wrong. They know what they're doing, even if the attendees don't. Please don't argue with me about this. Just because I'm cynical doesn't mean that I'm wrong. I'm 100% not wrong.
7. I can't play the games. In addition to the social media posts that don't come from the heart (I never ever do throw-backs, or change my profile picture in solidarity, or repost something I've been told to do, or participate in challenges, etc. so you can darn well bet I'm not going to post something my "boss" tells me to post on MY social media account), and the "acting like we're friends, but I really want to be your business associate (read: make money off of you)", and the general smarminess of hitting up friends and family, there's something else lots of MLM people do: Hit up strangers in public places.
I actually was asked in a Walmart to do a makeover for Avon, because of my beautiful skin, back when D was a baby and we lived in Vegas. I knew it was a sales thing, but I wanted to go because it was an excuse to get out of the house and have a few minutes to myself.
First, this lady had a legit cosmetics counter (think Dillard's) in her living room. She had drunk the 10-gallon Coleman cooler, man. Also, everything but that counter and the kitchen table had dust on it. Lots of dust. Even the kitchen cabinet doors. Vertical dust. She asked me if I wanted a drink, but I was too scared.
So she did the facial, then explained that she'd need to do the make-up part at a separate visit. I didn't buy anything that day because I was annoyed by her stupid game. I'd gone fully prepared to make some purchase, but instead told her I'd wait to see how my skin looked later and let her know.
When I went back for the make-up part, that was when the fun really started.
Toward the beginning, she handed me a concealer after putting some under my eyes, and she told me I could put it anywhere I had problem areas. I think I had a zit or something at the time, and I covered it. I handed it back to her, and she seemed disappointed, "That's it?" Well, yeah. Sorry I like my face.
Then she put on the foundation. She turned me away from the mirror to do the rest of it. When she got done, she was like a preschooler at Christmas. She turned me back toward the mirror, and... I thought, "This is too much makeup." But it didn't look bad. She'd given me a couple of tips I was able to use later, in every day wear, as well as a couple of things I used when we had pictures made. So I studied myself, smiled, and said, "It looks nice."
Once again, I apparently crushed her expectations.
"'Nice'?! Most women CRY when they see themselves for the first time."
Again, my obnoxious contentment with the normal, less covered-up state of my face just ruined everything for this woman.
In the end, I bought a couple of things, but I really hated the foundation. I never wear foundation, and the Avon foundation in particular, I could smell all day. I never stopped smelling it. It was not good.
Anyway, I wouldn't invite strangers into my home. I wouldn't approach a stranger under the guise of doing them some solid. I hate it when it's done to me, and maybe that's the thing: I have actual empathy and a desire to see people go about their lives happily instead of that "I know what would make you happy; do what I do, dammit!"
8. This attitude:
So, that's it, then? It's all about getting paid. It's about someone making money, honestly, even if it IS a scam (and pyramids always are, because someone's always at the bottom and gets screwed... which is why I also don't do those "mail one person a book and you'll get 36 books in two months" things, because they break down and someone loses). Even if it alienates friends and family. Even if it's just a flash in the pan and doesn't amount to anything ten years from now but a waste of your time and relationships. Even with all of that, at least for a while, you still get paid. Congratulations. And no thanks.
P.S. If you're in a direct marketing situation and you want to argue with me about how none of this is true, don't bother. It's true in the experiences I've had, so you don't need to defend a specific company, or try to convince me that it's different, better, the ambassadors are happy, etc. If you want to make a difference in the reputation of MLMs, then DO STUFF BETTER. Do it differently. The structure makes me skeptical that that is a possibility, but that's the only way you can change my mind. Words won't. I've experienced this for more than half of my middle-aged life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)