However.
I can promise you, friends and family and all of the internets, I will never get into "sales" with a multi-level marketing format. I just won't. There is literally no life situation in which I could be that would entice me to do direct sales. None. I couldn't. I can't. I would suck at it. And here are some reasons why.
1. "Shamespiration" makes me physically ill. I have friends who post inspirational things on social media, because this is what flows out of them. Some post inspirational things in general. Some about the LGBT community. Some about working out and fitness (to each his own). Some about parenting. Awesome.
But there is a "tone" that comes through certain posts that is a flashing warning signal to me that someone just drank the MLM Kool-Aid and although they're not ready to show their cards yet, they're going to give you a freaking "higher plane" smackdown that's supposed to ripen you for the picking when they're at that place and want to reel you in, if you'll excuse me for mixing metaphors.
Listen, guys, we know this is a thing. A quick Google search, or a look at this cringe-worthy Pinterest page confirms it. Some of those sound great, right? I mean, what's wrong with starting a home-based business? Nothing. But are you really starting a home-based business if you're buying into someone else's business and moving merchandise to your friends and neighbors, really? To me, starting a business means finding a need and meeting it using your own mojo, but I majored in drama, so what do I know?
What's wrong with loving your work? Nothing. But you know who loves his job? My husband. You know what he isn't doing? Shaming people on social media who don't love their jobs as much as he does. Why? Because he's not a douche nugget. No one voted him their personal coach, so he doesn't have to send these malcontent vibes vaguely disguised as "helpful" quotes out into his social circles.
Anyway, this "tactic" is not stealth. We can smell it from a mile away, and if people are at all like me, it just makes us want to run in the other direction.
2. I'm not materialistic. Do you have to be materialistic to get into MLM? Probably not, but, gosh, they sell it like you do.
First, at almost any MLM pep rally, they seem to have a very targeted valet policy, which involves parking all of the Maseratis and Porches and whatnot in front of the venue, lined up nicely, so that "ambassadors" or whatever can take pictures of the amazing wheels, the purchase of which selling Company XYZs whatever facilitated. So they post these pictures to the tune of "See what you could have if you were doing what I'm doing?"
Second, photos of income checks. Seriously, people?! Did your parents not teach you that some things are just gauche? Think about it: There are LOTS of self-employed people. Does your independent insurance agent post his paychecks online? Or talk about how much money he makes? Your doctor? Your kids' teacher? Besides, if someone who provides a product or service to you is bragging about how very VERY much money they're making, wouldn't you be suspicious about what they're charging you?
I know, I know. They're not posting for the customers. They're posting for the down-link. It's really sleazy, if you asked me. It's like taking your privates out in public and bragging about them. If you're the real deal, and you're actually confident, and you have something worth having, you don't need to show it off. It just is what it is.
3. I'm content. Or maybe I should say that I'm not ambitious. My life is not extraordinary. It's pretty low key and I'm sure not many people notice it. I influence my immediate surroundings, but that's about it. And you know what? I'm good with it. A lot of direct marketing people talk about dreaming big, scary dreams. Well, maybe I have some of those in the pipeline, too, but you know what? They have literally zero to do with selling crap, and they have literally zero to do with raking in a bunch of cash at the expense of my relationships, counting on former friends and family either to buy from or sell under me. They have nothing to do with how much money I can make to buy my "freedom" to do what I really want to do. I want nothing but a full night's sleep, and obviously I could have someone manage the kid so I could sleep through, if I REALLY wanted that more than anything else, but apparently, I have different priorities. So even my most basic dreams are tempered by the fact that I'm not willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want.
According to the MLM machine, I'm to be pitied for the small life I'm willing to accept. Whatever. I'm pretty happy. Guess I'm just dumb and ignorant that way. There are worse things.
4. I am not willing to alienate my true friends and family. I'm just going to be honest here: I've noticed that, while it seems like most friends have longtime friends who try to be supportive when they first start with "direct marketing," over time, the only people responding to their tired old posts about their incredible lives with this company are other people involved in the selling. Where did their old friends and family go? It's just exhausting to feel "sold to" all of the time. There are the "informative" social media posts (which are actually touting whatever product it is, and/or bashing alternate products), the aforementioned "shamespiration" posts, the sales notices, the party notices... oh, and speaking of that...
THE "PARTIES," man. Those are the worst! "Free food" and "you don't have to buy anything" have to be the most disingenuous phrases ever. A party should have food, and you shouldn't have to buy anything. Those things aren't parties. They're sales conferences. I've been invited to so many "fun nights with some friends" to "help" a mutual friend with their "business" by acquaintances who have never before and not once since ever tried to get together with me on a personal level. Not one-on-one and not with several friends. It's not a party. It's not a social event. Don't insult us by pretending it is. I would never do that to people I respected and cared about... well, or to anyone, because... ugh. And that's why I can never do this stuff.
Once, a lady in Las Vegas invited me to a girls' night at her house. She'd hosted one or two before, but this time, after everyone had RSVPed and signed up for what food to bring, she let us know that she'd told one of the guests she could make her Southern Living Home presentation at the beginning, THEN we'd all party and head out to the pool, and don't worry, you don't have to buy anything, but, hey, let's all spend 40 minutes gushing over the cool stuff while the sign-up sheet goes around, anyway, and some of us are just fuming that we got bait-and-switched. Scummy business practice.
5. I'm too frugal (cheap?). I do not care what anyone says. I just don't. Whether it's Pampered Chef or Jamberry or Scentsy or Avon or anything... I know people have their favorite products from those lines, but I'm going to tell you something: You can get all of that stuff from other stores, usually cheaper and often much, much cheaper. The company line is that somehow, their products really are different enough that the ones at the stores are somehow inferior. There have been tests done. Yeah, I'm sure that there have. Whatever. No. I can't spend $25 on something I could get for $8.50 just because someone would rather push that stuff than work at McDonald's. I couldn't buy it myself as a distributor, either. I'm just way too conscious about what things costs and how much I spend.
6. I don't like being played. Here's the deal, guys. Did you ever go to church camp when you were younger, and you felt very close to God and then came home and after a while, you just felt achingly "normal" again? You learn that these are "mountaintop experiences" and while they're meaningful and all, that kind of emotional enthusiasm can't be sustained; you have to have something deeper. (And if you don't have a faith story like that, it can really be anything: when you won a spelling bee and felt super smart and loved school, or when you finally kissed that guy for the first time after having dreamt about it for twenty-plus years, or whatever.)
The "pep rallies" those companies have are exactly that. They have to keep whipping their distributors into a frenzy, reselling themselves over and over again so people don't get fed up and stop. When friends post pictures from their "awesome" weekend, I don't think, "Gosh, what a great life!" I think, "Gee, how are they getting caught up on their weekend chores, like ever?"
There's a scene from my favorite show, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, when they travel to a franchisee meeting for Marvelous Marvin's Hamburgers, and everyone very heartily sings this really stupid song that goes, "Let’s go to Marvin’s, and bite into a smile… We know you love burgers, so we go that extra mile… With juicy double patties, cheese, tomatoes, onions too. Served any way you like them, ‘cause we make them just for you…" That is what I picture in my head any time anyone goes to one of these things.
And what makes it *worse* is when God is mixed in. When a company leader hires a famous Christian musician to come "lead worship" at their sales convention? I'm sorry, people, but that's disgusting. I'm not judging any one person's experience here, because worship can and does happen anywhere and everywhere and that's fine. But to me, a company calculatingly uses (and abuses, in the Ten Commandment sort of way) God's name when it tries to create a camaraderie based on a common faith. It's wrong. They know what they're doing, even if the attendees don't. Please don't argue with me about this. Just because I'm cynical doesn't mean that I'm wrong. I'm 100% not wrong.
7. I can't play the games. In addition to the social media posts that don't come from the heart (I never ever do throw-backs, or change my profile picture in solidarity, or repost something I've been told to do, or participate in challenges, etc. so you can darn well bet I'm not going to post something my "boss" tells me to post on MY social media account), and the "acting like we're friends, but I really want to be your business associate (read: make money off of you)", and the general smarminess of hitting up friends and family, there's something else lots of MLM people do: Hit up strangers in public places.
I actually was asked in a Walmart to do a makeover for Avon, because of my beautiful skin, back when D was a baby and we lived in Vegas. I knew it was a sales thing, but I wanted to go because it was an excuse to get out of the house and have a few minutes to myself.
First, this lady had a legit cosmetics counter (think Dillard's) in her living room. She had drunk the 10-gallon Coleman cooler, man. Also, everything but that counter and the kitchen table had dust on it. Lots of dust. Even the kitchen cabinet doors. Vertical dust. She asked me if I wanted a drink, but I was too scared.
So she did the facial, then explained that she'd need to do the make-up part at a separate visit. I didn't buy anything that day because I was annoyed by her stupid game. I'd gone fully prepared to make some purchase, but instead told her I'd wait to see how my skin looked later and let her know.
When I went back for the make-up part, that was when the fun really started.
Toward the beginning, she handed me a concealer after putting some under my eyes, and she told me I could put it anywhere I had problem areas. I think I had a zit or something at the time, and I covered it. I handed it back to her, and she seemed disappointed, "That's it?" Well, yeah. Sorry I like my face.
Then she put on the foundation. She turned me away from the mirror to do the rest of it. When she got done, she was like a preschooler at Christmas. She turned me back toward the mirror, and... I thought, "This is too much makeup." But it didn't look bad. She'd given me a couple of tips I was able to use later, in every day wear, as well as a couple of things I used when we had pictures made. So I studied myself, smiled, and said, "It looks nice."
Once again, I apparently crushed her expectations.
"'Nice'?! Most women CRY when they see themselves for the first time."
Again, my obnoxious contentment with the normal, less covered-up state of my face just ruined everything for this woman.
In the end, I bought a couple of things, but I really hated the foundation. I never wear foundation, and the Avon foundation in particular, I could smell all day. I never stopped smelling it. It was not good.
Anyway, I wouldn't invite strangers into my home. I wouldn't approach a stranger under the guise of doing them some solid. I hate it when it's done to me, and maybe that's the thing: I have actual empathy and a desire to see people go about their lives happily instead of that "I know what would make you happy; do what I do, dammit!"
8. This attitude:
So, that's it, then? It's all about getting paid. It's about someone making money, honestly, even if it IS a scam (and pyramids always are, because someone's always at the bottom and gets screwed... which is why I also don't do those "mail one person a book and you'll get 36 books in two months" things, because they break down and someone loses). Even if it alienates friends and family. Even if it's just a flash in the pan and doesn't amount to anything ten years from now but a waste of your time and relationships. Even with all of that, at least for a while, you still get paid. Congratulations. And no thanks.
P.S. If you're in a direct marketing situation and you want to argue with me about how none of this is true, don't bother. It's true in the experiences I've had, so you don't need to defend a specific company, or try to convince me that it's different, better, the ambassadors are happy, etc. If you want to make a difference in the reputation of MLMs, then DO STUFF BETTER. Do it differently. The structure makes me skeptical that that is a possibility, but that's the only way you can change my mind. Words won't. I've experienced this for more than half of my middle-aged life.
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