Growing Kids

Hello, Internets!

This pleasingly dichromatic picture brought to you by my letting the boy hang out diaperless on the bed too long.

As you might remember, we have not one, but two children. I wish I could give you loads of updates on both, but one of them is a teenager who is very private, very introverted, and wisely wary of what ends up on the internet in regards to herself (this she did not get from me). I will say that, while she might not recognize this, having her as a child has made me and is making me a better parent and a better person, slowly and painfully, but we're getting there.

One big thing is that it's cured me forever of ever even thinking, "Gosh, if that were my kid, here's what I'd do..." You don't know. You never know. And things might not make sense to anyone looking in, but really, I'm learning that the best support you can be for another parent is to listen, only throwing in tips if they're requested, and even then being very aware of the other family's parenting style, and being totally prepared for them not to take your advice at all. In order to be the best support, though, I think that you have to keep listening and sympathizing without being frustrated that the other parents are not doing it "right" or "different" or "better." I hope I can be this kind of friend to everyone else. Feel free to spill if you need an ear.

Now, the other kid. I try to be cautious of what I put online regarding him, so it's not too intrusive. There are things that crack me up that I won't share here because they cross a line. But I don't think this does, so here.

Because why wouldn't you?

Mal is growing up so much, and parenting him is in many ways so much easier than it was. But his opinions are strengthening, and he is very very determined to make us understand him and to bend us to his will that he will often cry over an issue for an hour or more, over and over, re-upsetting himself after calming down -- and these are things we cannot fix for him, like the fact that it's after 6 PM and the apartment office is closed (they have marshmallows), or that we don't have McDonald's French fries, we only have frozen ones that we have to cook (and, yes, one weekend, James and I each took him through the drive-through at McD's on a Saturday, and this might have ruined him!).

This next thing I'm hesitant to mention, because I truly don't find it important in terms of development or indication of future mental prowess or success, but I'm still going to note it so that I'll remember and because it so well illustrates that unschooling works in that kids learn whether you sit them down and force feed them or not.

Mal knows some letters. Some by name, and some phonetically. He knows "b" and sometimes "d" but also sometimes says "b" for "d." "B" he gets right every time. He knows "i" and "y" (he says "by"). He says "ssss" for "x" and "mum" for "m." Sometimes, he'll just surprise us by pointing to something with a letter on it and saying the letter or its sound. Did we teach him this? Um, no. He has picked it up from watching his favorite videos over and over again.

I reiterate: this is apropos of nothing, but just kind of funny.

Regarding "mum," this is also what he calls the moon. We'll be outside and he'll point up, saying, "Mum! Mum!" He will also point at the Death Star decal on his wall and say, "mum" while shaking his head "no." In other words: "That's no moon."

He will know all of the Star Wars memes before he ever sees the movie. In the book "Epic Yarns: A New Hope" that some friends gave Mal, he does several things: He breathes asthmatically when we see Darth Vader. He points to Greedo on the page introducing Han Solo and says, "Die!" And when we get to the garbage scene, he says, "waycanebeee," which, of course, is translated, "3PO! 3PO! Where can he be??"

Back to his videos: He usually watches compilations that are a half hour to an hour long. Lately, though, he will pick out a particular song and ask for us to "rewind" it so he can watch it over and over and over. Later, we'll often catch him acting out parts of the videos. James is sure when we were on the train that he was doing a cadence from "Walking in the Jungle" by Super Simple Songs.

Thing is, the next day, or even later that day, the video he watched 40 times in a row is repugnant to him, and the one he insisted we skip is the one upon which he lavishes his attention.

I'm going to treat you to something special. It's the freaking weirdest video on the definitely weirdest channel he likes (that I let him watch; Videogyan would be one in the rotation, but I have my limits).




Yeah. Explain that to me, if you will. On second thought, don't. Some things are better left a mystery. (P.S. These are the dudes behind these videos, if you can believe that. Not a bunch of Einstein-baby-moms, huh?)

When I bought Mal's car seat, I didn't realize it had an upper weight limit of 40, something he is approaching rapidly. I went ahead and got him a replacement seat, and yesterday we received it. I had not anticipated how sad this would make him. He cried and cried when he saw it, begging to go see his old car seat. We went down to the van and I put the new seat in the captain's chair beside the old one, asking him if he wanted to get in the new seat. He didn't. He sat in the old one, wanting to be strapped in (we were only going to the mailbox, but I did it). He kept crying and saying, "Bye bye... bye bye." So I guess we'll use the old one until he's definitely 40 pounds. He still has a few pounds to go. I'm going to keep the new seat in the car so he gets used to it and maybe that will help the transition.

Mal continues to be really interested in music and instruments. He has his ukulele as well as an "air piano" (like a recorder, but with keys, so it sounds a lot like a harmonica) and a little novelty keyboard with about 8 notes on it. He will pull out James' guitar and whatever other instruments he wants to use and have us all pitch in to make really horrible music while he strums his ukulele ("la la") and sings happily. He gets really upset with me when he hands me James' guitar and I try to coax something vaguely musical out of it, one string at a time. So I just strum randomly with him and that usually placates him.

James can really play, though. Mal's interest has sort of forced/accommodated James' practice almost every day (some work days are just too long, though). I love hearing him play. He's really good, and classical guitar is just lovely.

It will be interesting to see whether Mal ends up playing one or many instruments. I think he'd love a drum set, but we'll probably have to wait until he understands earphones and get him an electric kit or else his big sister, the day sleeper, might just have a conniption. Incidentally, she had a little drum kit when she was 5ish, but there were no other kids to complain about the noise.

I can tell nap time is wrapping up, so until next time... (as they say in that video) Bye byeeeeeee!