Bedsharing and Illness

I'm going to answer a question literally no one has asked, but I'm sure it's only because people are too polite to ask. Well, or they don't care. Either way, it's my blog, so I'm going to answer this hypothetical question and you can read it or don't, but let me assure you: There are pictures.

Okay, so here we go...

Mal has been sick a very few times in his little life. Since we moved into the apartment, he's gotten ill two or three times where he will be physically ill several times during the night, and otherwise seem fine.

Yesterday was one of those times. He, James, and I were up at the clubhouse when Mal gagged and threw up. We calmed him down, cleaned it up, and came back home. He was fine for a while, but then ended up being sick two more times before he went to sleep (early, for him).

As you know, he still nurses a lot, and we cosleep, specifically bed-sharing. So how do you handle bed-sharing with a barfy kid? We learned some tricks the first time he got sick, and now we have it down to an inelegant science.

First of all, our bed already has a waterproof mattress cover (from the days when he'd drink SO MUCH at night, he'd overfill his diaper; that hasn't happened in months, knock on proverbial wood) and a fitted sheet. On top of that, I put a couple of blankets. Like this:

The blankets are only on one side, because James sleeps on the outside, and he is a HARD sleeper, so it's easier if we can fix things without waking him up. Which we can, for the most part. Except this next step, if it comes to that...

On top of the other stuff, I put ANOTHER fitted sheet, cover the pillows with a towel, and then place a towel where Mal is most likely to lie down.

Finally, we do the halfsies on sheets, too, and have a spare waiting, if necessary. We also have a stack of spare towels waiting.

So, last night, when Mal would wake up, I'd pull the towel up kind of between his legs and hold the end of it to his mouth. I'd catch what I could (it wasn't a lot; he hadn't eaten much and what he had eaten was already gone), and then hope that the towel caught what I missed. Then I'd wipe Mal down with a diaper wipe and hold him while James changed out the towel for a new one. This happened three times.

The fourth time it happened, James didn't wake up, but switching the towel out myself isn't a big deal.

The fifth time it happened, I messed up! Mal woke up asking, for the third time that night, for "deeda... draw" (which is to say "soda, straw"). I'd put him off before, saying, "Okay, we'll get some later." But when I tried to put him off again this time, he repeated his request, and I could hear how dry his mouth was. My mistake was not remembering that he was waking up to be sick, which he had not done yet. Oh, but it was in the works. Had I waited and THEN given him soda, all would have been fine. Instead, I held the straw to his lips, he drank a couple of swallows, then, without warning: EXPLOSION! (I'm letting a soda flatten right now, so if he has the same request tonight, I'll wait him out and then comply.)

So we DID end up having to take off the second fitted sheet, and he slept on the two blankets, which ended the night unscathed.

There are definitely things I don't like about bedsharing. Like, you know, that there's a move-around-y kid in my bed, and I'm a light sleeper. But there are benefits (like not having to get up to resettle him, which is more often than not VERY frequently throughout the night), and, honestly, when they're sick is one time that it's so much easier.

Today, I was reading an article about why kids' fevers spike at night, and it started with: "It started around 1 A.M. My son was 14 months old, and the noises coming from his room didn't seem completely human: There was a sort of honking bark followed by a whistle-y kind of breathing... I ran into his room, my heart racing with worry, and I found him sitting up in his crib, looking scared and tired."

I don't have to do that. The second Mal wakes up, I'm awake. I can't prevent him from being sick, but I can hold him while he's sick. I can reassure him from the instant he's uncomfortable. There's no lag time. Mommy's here. It's not great, but it's going to be okay.

Later in the article was this: "I put him back in his crib, and he slept through the night. I, on the other hand, kept checking in on him every hour or so, but that's what mothers do." Nope, it's not what I do. I sleep. I sleep confidently, knowing that if there's a problem, I'll wake up because he's right there.

James had said, before we went to bed last night, "We'll need to make sure he doesn't sleep on his back." Well, you can't do that with a toddler. But I didn't have to worry about him drowning in his own sick or anything horrid like that that mothers can imagine, because I was able to sit him up literally every time he started that tell-tale cough.

With our set-up, we are able to rid of things and get back to sleep quickly, which is good for all of us. Yay, sleep. Even sleep with a hot ninja ramming a heel into your bladder at 2:30 AM. It's what works for now.