The Glamorous World of Motherhood

Hey, guys! This is my kid wearing only Slytherin underpants and sunglasses when we took an ill-advised jaunt down to the lake earlier this week.

It's been in the hundreds all week, and while I knew that and took plenty of fluids with us, AND refilled with tap water when we ran out, the uphill-pushing-50-pounds part nearly resulted in heat exhaustion for me.

I've had heat exhaustion a couple of times (it feels like a cross between hypoglycemia and food poisoning, if you're interested) and could sense it coming on, so I was literally stopping every 4 steps or so and drinking or swirling-and-spitting water (that last one Mal had not seen before and he did not like it). Finally, I had to pull over to the side of the road and sit in the shade, dumping most of the remaining water on my head, while I cooled off. Mal just sat on his trike-stroller the whole time and was fine. He wasn't super happy that I wouldn't let him drag his feet, thus making it more difficult for me to push, but I was not worried in the least about his disgruntlement at the time.

In other news, this has been a weird-feeling week. One reason may be that we've been on acute Poop Watch (TM). Here's the scoop on the poop: I thought Mal would *never* potty train, but right around his third birthday, he just seemed to get it, and so we were able to do away with daytime diapers. Cool.

We had gotten good enough that i wasn't super worried about accidents anymore, and wasn't constantly asking if he had to go. Then, at some point, when he started pooping like 5 times a day, never tidy "just dump and rinse" but "full on scrub the training potty" filling it in the sink and dumping it into the toilet over and over, I decided it was time to get rid of the training potties.

Here's a thing about me: When I decide something is over, it is OVAH.

I tossed the pots (would have loved to give someone to reuse, but figured the "eww' factor would be too much) and we moved on to the big toilets, no problem.

Except after a few weeks, Mal said he wanted the training toilets back because he was scared of the big potty. This was only for #2. He was peeing like a champ. Well, he's a boy so he can pee a lot of places, but one of them is the adult toilet, and he wasn't terrified of it, even though he also won't flush it in case it's too loud.

Anyway, I compromised and bought him a padded Paw Patrol training seat with handles for us to use on the big toilet. He never used it.

Since that time, he's often had what we call "shart events," where he'll squeeze a tiny bit off and manage to squash the urge to go. For a while.

During the past week, he had not used the toilet to poop since like Monday. He just kept sharting over and over, a dozen times per day or more, and sometimes as often as every 5 minutes for 4 rounds. It's demoralizing.

We've talked about how bad ignoring your body's urge to poop is, that poop is the stuff from your food that your body does not want or need and wants to get out of you. We know that he's not constipated. This isn't an "it's going to hurt, so I just won't go" situation.

And today, I looked up "stool avoidance," which is a thing that has been studied and that has lots of advice online. Apparently, 1 out of 5 kids has a period of refusing to poop, and without intervention, it tends to last about six months (are we 3 months in? I have no idea; I should keep better notes). Also, it's typically with kids who are potty trained later, with many being trained between 42 and 48 months, and most of the rest after 48 months. We're not even there yet, so that's not him.

One pediatrician had the advice to dispassionately put them back in diapers (she specified "not Pull-Ups"). No drama, just a matter-of-fact statement that since the child can't control it, that's what's necessary. Well, I'd asked Mal earlier if he wanted to go back to diapers so he wouldn't have to deal with changing underpants, worrying about the potty, etc. and he said a definite NO to that.

Her other idea was some "program" where they get 1 M&M for sitting on the potty, 2 M&Ms for staying so many minutes, and 3 M&Ms for actually going. UGH. We don't do incentives like that. And I get that she's a pediatrician, but, honestly, our child isn't medically ill, and we value relationship over the goal of perfect potty training, so... meh.

In the end (pun), I went to Walmart and bought another training potty. I'd asked Mal about that, and he said he needed it, because it was his size. When I brought it home, he was pretty interested... and then sat on the actual toilet. He said, "I used those when I was a baby." But a couple of hours and 2 pair of lightly-soiled boxers later, he actually poooooooooooooped on the toilet, so if I spent $12 on a potty we'll never use but just knowing it's there makes him feel better, it was *toiletly* worth it.