But that's not what I'm here to talk about, for the most part.
It's this: Sometimes, I resent my husband.
It's true! I love him, but sometimes, when he sleeps until noon on the weekends; or when he disappears to heat up his knees after having been gone all day and just having dinner with us; or some other thing he does or gets to do that I think, "I could NEVER just..." whatever... You know, stinkin' thinkin' (tm) sets in, and I can go to a pretty ugly place.
Fortunately, those times are few and far between, often suspiciously aligned with specific points in my, let's say, lunar cycle. Also, I love my husband and I want him to be happy, so that tends to mess up my pouty martyrdom, anyway.
However, today, I was overwhelmed by the reality that the stuff I do on a daily basis is totally amazing, and I'm very fortunate that I am able to do it.
Back to Mal's illness: He was actively ill on Sunday, like 5 instances of his being sick enough to warrant a full load of laundry (five different times) in 7 hours. After that, though, he was just spent. He's known his body can't handle much food, which is cool in that it has suppressed any more symptomatic barfing, but it's also meant he has basically zero energy.
Between Sunday at 1 PM and Monday night, he ate a hashbrown (bye bye) and about 1/4 of an apple. And he had a fever for much of Monday. So he slept. A lot. Tuesday, his fever was gone, but, again, he couldn't think about food. He had a bag of Minion fruit snacks (except for the 3 that were either yellow or orange) and a few more apple slices. And he slept a lot more. Tuesday night, he did ask for a Sonic vanilla shake. He drank maybe 1/4 of it that night. Then yesterday, he was pretty up and at 'em, comparatively, while my parents were here. But he's still been super low-energy, especially for himself, and I've had it pretty darned easy.
Today's responsibilities have basically been making some lazy breakfast for James (deviled eggs and coffee); chatting with D at length about our pigeons; and then taking Mal to Walmart for one thing but finding a sale on Powerpuff Girls Legos, and putting those together at home. Now Mal is watching TV, James has gone to lunch at Quetzal (his office's restrooms are jacked up and as long as they're having to use porta-potties, James is working remotely... incidentally, there are 20+ mph wind gusts, which I can only imagine adds to the "fun" of using an outdoor temporary toilet), and D is asleep for the day.
I do work hard. I often do so many things in one day, it makes me tired to think about it. And I feel guilty for feeling like I don't have time to sit and hang out with Mal as much as I want to. And I feel bad that I'm often very exhausted and heading for bed about the time D is ready to chat. But even the tiring stuff that I do... it's all good stuff. It's all here at home, making it a comfortable place for my people to land.
I don't get to sleep until 11 ever, but I do not have to set an alarm and wake up to be on the road by a certain time 5 days a week (or fewer, if the facilities are messed up to the point that employees wishing to avoid pooping in a box elect to stay home). I have had a nice, albeit a little sad, break most of this week as Mal has rested and recovered; like, I've read the majority of a book. Accomplishment!
My job involves things like potential apples and birds who hold freaky mysteries and lots of flowers and photographs and the lake and watching construction and demolition and adventures to places of recreation. I get to see almost everything my kids do in real time. I am surrounded by ridiculous cats. I can do a bunch of stuff in one day to give myself some slack the next day, and no one complains. If I don't feel like doing something, I can just not do it. My job security is rock-solid.
Back to Mal's illness: He was actively ill on Sunday, like 5 instances of his being sick enough to warrant a full load of laundry (five different times) in 7 hours. After that, though, he was just spent. He's known his body can't handle much food, which is cool in that it has suppressed any more symptomatic barfing, but it's also meant he has basically zero energy.
Between Sunday at 1 PM and Monday night, he ate a hashbrown (bye bye) and about 1/4 of an apple. And he had a fever for much of Monday. So he slept. A lot. Tuesday, his fever was gone, but, again, he couldn't think about food. He had a bag of Minion fruit snacks (except for the 3 that were either yellow or orange) and a few more apple slices. And he slept a lot more. Tuesday night, he did ask for a Sonic vanilla shake. He drank maybe 1/4 of it that night. Then yesterday, he was pretty up and at 'em, comparatively, while my parents were here. But he's still been super low-energy, especially for himself, and I've had it pretty darned easy.
Today's responsibilities have basically been making some lazy breakfast for James (deviled eggs and coffee); chatting with D at length about our pigeons; and then taking Mal to Walmart for one thing but finding a sale on Powerpuff Girls Legos, and putting those together at home. Now Mal is watching TV, James has gone to lunch at Quetzal (his office's restrooms are jacked up and as long as they're having to use porta-potties, James is working remotely... incidentally, there are 20+ mph wind gusts, which I can only imagine adds to the "fun" of using an outdoor temporary toilet), and D is asleep for the day.
I do work hard. I often do so many things in one day, it makes me tired to think about it. And I feel guilty for feeling like I don't have time to sit and hang out with Mal as much as I want to. And I feel bad that I'm often very exhausted and heading for bed about the time D is ready to chat. But even the tiring stuff that I do... it's all good stuff. It's all here at home, making it a comfortable place for my people to land.
I don't get to sleep until 11 ever, but I do not have to set an alarm and wake up to be on the road by a certain time 5 days a week (or fewer, if the facilities are messed up to the point that employees wishing to avoid pooping in a box elect to stay home). I have had a nice, albeit a little sad, break most of this week as Mal has rested and recovered; like, I've read the majority of a book. Accomplishment!
My job involves things like potential apples and birds who hold freaky mysteries and lots of flowers and photographs and the lake and watching construction and demolition and adventures to places of recreation. I get to see almost everything my kids do in real time. I am surrounded by ridiculous cats. I can do a bunch of stuff in one day to give myself some slack the next day, and no one complains. If I don't feel like doing something, I can just not do it. My job security is rock-solid.
So, yeah, some days I think it'd be nice to be able to go to sleep when I want (it happens sometimes!) and then wake up when I want (again, occasionally) and do whatever I wanted for a few hours (extremely rare), but for the most part, my life is a whole dream, and that includes the husband part.
Happy weekend, folks! <3
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for leaving a comment! We love to hear from you!