Opportunities Lost

I went to the grocery store earlier today. They've cut way back on their hours, so I checked out and was leaving maybe 10 minutes before they closed for the day.

On my way out, I realized that that they had a kid at the entrance. He was wearing a bandana, and he stopped a guy who wanted to be their customer.

"I'm sorry sir, but you can't go inside without a mask," the kid warned when he spotted the guy across the parking lot.

"Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous!" the guy retorted.

The kid shrugged. "It's the law."

The guy bristled. "It isn't really the law!"

The kid didn't hesitate for a second. "It's the law in this county."

When I told Laura this story earlier, her reaction was "Good for that kid! Did you offer him one of our masks?"

I'd managed to block out the next part of the exchange, which was the guy asking where he was supposed to get a mask.

My first reaction matched Laura's: I should give him one of ours. I think we have 5 or 6 left, and my mom is sewing us some that we'll be able to throw in the wash (have I ever mentioned that my mom might be almost as much of a hero as my wife?)

My second reaction was that this guy was being a jerk, and I didn't want to help him.

So I didn't.

I've been kicking myself ever since.

I had the opportunity to show some basic compassion, and I failed.

If this guy had actually seemed needy, I'd have either given him one of our masks or just gone back in and bought what he needed.

But he started by trying to bully that kid, and I hate bullies.

That isn't an excuse.

I failed to be the compassionate, caring person I want to be.

We are living in a stressful world. We haven't seen a pandemic in over 100 years. We are looking at an economic collapse that seems very likely to get close to the Depression.

People like me who happen to be lucky enough to be able to work from home and have something to spare don't have any business making judgments on someone else's behavior.

I don't know what's going on in his life.

I went to the store for sweets.

For all I know, this guy had just run out of baby formula. Or something else that he truly needed desperately. For all I know, he just drove 30 miles to get into town right before the store closed.

Good Lord. Maybe his wife's at home dying, and her last request was that he bring her back some sour patch gummies.

I've been in that desperate "will you please give me a freaking break?!" mode, when it seems like the entire world is collapsing around you. and I'm pretty sure I was a jerk about it too.

So I just failed at basic human compassion.

I think that is the most fundamental value that I want my kids to learn. (D already has enough for 3 people, which may balance Mal's complete lack).

I guess I'll have to file this with all the other major mistakes I've made in my life: try not to do that again. Just be kind and offer to help when I can.

If you were "that guy," and happen to read this, I'm *really* sorry.