Rethinking Paradise

Two weeks from yesterday, we were supposed to have gone on our first family vacation to a place neither James nor I had ever been before, doing stuff that would have been new to both of us, as well as Mal. Obviously, like many other people, our plans have been canceled. We've been very fortunate: Everything we've pre-paid, even the "non-refundable" stuff, has been refunded (except for about $200 we spent on LEGOLAND tickets, but I think we'll get that back... I'm not pressing it because I know how busy everyone in hospitality is right now).

Previously, I'd mentioned needing maybe to rethink how we vacation, based on environmental concerns as well as the reality of the family I have right now. At some point, we'll no doubt travel again, but I'm starting to see that what we will do is likely different in several ways.

The first is that I don't think we'll be flying for a while. It gives Mal a LOT of anxiety and, frankly, the past few times we've flown, I've been unreasonably nervous. Maybe by the time he's grown up, someone will have figured out how to reach the thrust one needs to fly without burning through tons of fossil fuel.

Seth Meyers was giving an interview on another late night show a few weeks ago, and describing a trip he took with his family. His wife had organized a trip to Uruguay, and they'd planned to take a red-eye flight so that the kids would sleep for most of the 10 PM - 8 AM flight. As they were about to get onto the flight to Miami, they found out that their connecting flight had been "delayed" by twelve hours, and they were actually leaving at 10 AM the following day.

They got an airport hotel room in Miami, and his older kid remarked, as they stepped in, "Daddy, this is beautiful!" There was some drama involved in this, but eventually they got two cribs in the room so each of the kids would have his own.

Meyers said that the ten-hour flight with both kids awake was every bit as miserable as you might imagine, but then they got to Uruguay, and it was every bit as gorgeous and wonderful as his wife had promised him it would be.

After the vacation, he took his older son back to his first day of post-trip school, and the child ran up to friends bragging, "We stayed in this hotel that had TWO CRIBS!" He realized aloud that they could have stayed at the Miami airport and his kids would have had an amazing vacation.

Anyone who's ever planned an elaborate vacation with a kid, only to have them want to hang out at the pool, knows this to be true.

Mal talks about several things a lot: Great Wolf Lodge, Animal Kingdom Lodge (the hotel at Disney World... but never about the theme parks), Royal Caribbean, World of Peppa Pig, Space Center Houston, and the Crayola Experience. He loves hotels. He loves interacting with things for a little while. Then he loves to relax at the hotel.

James and I could easily plan an amazing vacation that involves hiking, but our son would make it miserable. I could plan a trip that involved roller coasters and thrill rides, but Mal would hate it. James could plan a long, leisurely road trip, but I'd get antsy after a few hours. So what do we do?

I think, for now, we work with what we have. For one, we drive to places we want to see. Do I want to be where the weather is different than it is in Texas (most of the time)? Yep. It is worth it right now? Not really. Second, our forays with nature will mostly involve gardens and parks, and a stroller as long as Mal can fit in one. Could he walk for an hour and a half? Of course. Is it worth it to us to deal with that? Big "no" on that one. Third, I have to know that for James and Mal to enjoy time away from home, I have to build in a LOT of down time. More than I'd like. And maybe I excuse myself to get some pictures or see something offbeat that I'm the only one who cares about. It's a good balance.

Basically, I need to remember that a modest few days of relaxation and some minor amusements is really all we need for the time being. In a couple of weeks, I'll walk you through the vacation that will never be, because I'd planned what I think is some pretty cool stuff. But it will be the picture of a vacation I don't think we'll be attempting to take again for quite some time. And that's okay.