Self-Care in the Age of Social Media (and other assorted chaos)

Over the past few years, I've divested from most social media. I quit Facebook two and a half years ago; after I got past the habit of thinking in status updates, I didn't miss it at all. I bumped up my Instagram usage at that time, but after a year, quit that, too. It had gone from pretty happy inspiration to more pointed politicking and bickering. I was on Twitter for a spell, following fat activists and other public figures I'd grown to admire but then, of course, it ends up being distilled into mostly hot takes and trolls so I stopped that. Finally, I was starting to get more involved in the Austin subreddit. It's a pretty calm place, and even arguments are largely respectful and calm. However, "the algorithm" decided that I like news, and so the feed was largely heart-breaking headlines from around the world. Last night, there were two in a row that made me say, "Nope. This is out, too." So I deleted it.

In the months since the pandemic began, I've actually had the time and mental wherewithal to read only a few books. But they've helped me focus in on what's important to me and what it is to which I want to be exposed.

Two nights ago was the first "Presidential" "debate." I didn't watch it, because Joe Biden and Donald Trump have been in the public arena for almost as long as I've been alive. They're known quantities. There are no surprises to be revealed. Why even bother? 

Apparently, I made the right decision, as 69% of watchers who were polled reported feeling "annoyed" by the process.

I'm choosing to head off annoyance at the pass.

I'm doing this by reading books that have a strong point of view but are not written in a purposefully inflammatory way. I just finished "The Liturgy of Politics: Spiritual Formation for the Sake of Our Neighbor," and am about 2/3 of the way through "Stamped from the Beginning." I highly recommend both. "The Liturgy of Politics" is definitely from a Christian perspective, and is convicting but a pretty easy read. "Stamped from the Beginning" is taking me longer because there is so much historical information that every once in a while, my brain needs to rest so I can digest some more. But it's impressively dispassionate; the author writes with a much cooler tone than I feel when I read about the injustices that we have wrought on our fellow countrymen throughout the US's past.

I'm selecting news sources that have a humorous bent because at least then I know they're going to editorialize and help me release some of the pressure from pretty heavy stories. Most "news" outlets editorialize wildly, but it's angry, and they're trying to engender anger (from every side) because it helps ratings. Not interested.

I'm listening to podcasts that report news from a different perspective than mine. I enjoy things like Code Switch and Latino USA because I have always had my news delivered to me, a white middle-class person, from a very uniform source. Black Twitter and The Root are extremely eye-opening, and I appreciate the education. 

I have not watched "The Social Dilemma" but they were discussing it on "The Holy Post" the other day (another podcast I enjoy, even though I'm a little more liberal than most of them, and a lot more liberal than some of them) and Phil Vischer mentioned how the documentary pointed out that when someone sees a news item that leans the same way they lean, it further reinforces their point of view. So "the algorithm" decides that you must really like stuff that is super conservative, and it feeds you that, whether it's from your friends' feeds or from the news feed itself. Then advertisers seek out people with that POV and feed them even more outlandish things, and it basically creates this echo chamber that "radicalizes" pretty much everyone. If you're left, you're going to be pushed WAY left; if you're right, you're going to be SUPER right-wing. I do not want to let outside sources determine what news I hear or how I feel about any of it. I'm trying to make deliberate choices both for my own mental health and for the sake of my being a better, more well-rounded "neighbor."

I won't want to talk about politics right now. I know that it's hard for me to articulate how I feel without getting emotionally invested and likely angry. I need to work on myself more before I can have a calm conversation about why I believe what I believe and how I can't understand why you can believe or disbelieve certain things. Basically, I need to deprogram myself.

I tried this experiment on Reddit: I was only kind. If I said something and someone responded with a "Are you saying this?! Then you're an idiot!" (that's editing; people attack a lot more creatively) I would respond with a sincere apology. I didn't let myself get riled up. It was actually very freeing. I need to learn to do this in person. With people I like and even love. It's harder, though, I think. Like if I believe that every human deserves equal rights and that it might take more work to get us to that point, and a stranger disagrees... okay, whatever dude. Just get out of my way. But if it's someone I'm trying to respect and have a relationship with, it's a lot harder not to descend into, "What kind of a monster are you?! What does it hurt YOU if this person gets to do this thing, or that person gets an extra one of those???!"

So please excuse me if I just walk away when items of a divisive nature come up. I won't disengage forever, but I have to for now. I have to figure out how to be the person I want to be even when faced with things I cannot believe exist. 

Also...

I'm a naturally optimistic and happy person. I like that about me. I have ended multiple friendships with people who were sad sacks and vehement constant victims because although their perpetual anger and hurt was tiring, when they expected me to get on board with their "The world is against me and everything sucks," I could not support them in that way. I don't believe that. I don't want to believe that. I want to be able to hone in on injustices without imagining them where they are not. Sometimes, when your tire goes flat on your way to a job interview, it just sucks. It's not god or the universe punishing you because everything is a bitch and it always will be. 

And it's hard to be happy when everyone seems to want you to be super incensed about everything "the other side" is doing. The enemy is real; turning everyone and everything into "the enemy" makes it impossible to fight the real battles. 

Anyway, all of that to say that I'm tired of being tired in my brain, so I'm disengaging from things that both stress me out and do not profit me to think about or discuss. Also, here is a picture of some ducks from the lake.