It was only for three days, but during that time, I cooled off. I figured out how to reset my feed so that I don't see very much when I do log in, which is increasingly rare.
First of all, I want to say that I get that my own Facebook wall can be inconsistent: funny, horrifying, offensive, encouraging, gleeful, and depressing. That's kind of... well, me. And if that doesn't work for you, then you should block me, because I don't want anyone having the kind of soul-crushing anger that was darkening everything for me.
For my own sanity, might I offer some suggestions that one might want to consider before posting things on Facebook, or before transmitting any thoughts or information in a wide-ranging manner? Please?
1) Before you forward that inflammatory (or not) story, infographic, or link, make sure it's true. Barack Obama did not tell a bunch of students not to celebrate July 4. Bill O'Reilly did not criticize Obama's nostril-flares as racist. That was not a contemporary picture of Trayvon Martin; it was a rapper (besides, however you feel about that whole thing, the fact that someone is covered with tattoos, smokes pot, and has bought a gun does not necessarily mean he "deserved" to die at the time and place that he was shot... if you want to make an argument, argue facts of the situation, not circumstantial information).
A guideline here is that if what you're about to post doesn't have a date, or an exact location, or some specific names and is therefore impossible to verify, maybe don't share it. Also, if the only place you can find the story is on either conservative or liberal websites, it's probably not reliable. Especially not if the wording is the exact same everywhere you see it, so that it's obvious someone cut and pasted it the second they saw it and did no research at all.
Also, if your infographic has misspellings and grammar problems, how do you expect the rest of us to take it seriously?
A guideline here is that if what you're about to post doesn't have a date, or an exact location, or some specific names and is therefore impossible to verify, maybe don't share it. Also, if the only place you can find the story is on either conservative or liberal websites, it's probably not reliable. Especially not if the wording is the exact same everywhere you see it, so that it's obvious someone cut and pasted it the second they saw it and did no research at all.
Also, if your infographic has misspellings and grammar problems, how do you expect the rest of us to take it seriously?
2) If you find out that something you posted was in error, acknowledge the mistake, take it down, and apologize for the error. Seriously, folks, we're all grown-ups here. We all make mistakes. Admitting to those things is a huge step in, you know, being a decent human being. Just saying, "Oh, I found out this was not what I thought it was, but the idea is the same, so I'm leaving it up" shows the absolute worse kind of arrogance and willful ignorance. Besides, if you can't support your point of view with anything that falls within the realm of reality, you might want to reconsider your point of view. Or at least be gracious enough to allow others to have a different one without-- wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.
3) Not everyone who believes differently than you do hates you and wants to destroy your way of life. It's entirely possible that you have a dear friend who loves you completely and who is very glad that you are on this planet, but who disagrees with you on a very important (to one or both of you) topic. Rarely are things this cut-and-dried. This goes part-and-parcel with its extension:
4) Not everyone who disagrees with you does so because they are ignorant or evil. Granted, there are some people who have baseless opinions... But to automatically ascribe cultural or parental brainwashing, lack of real-world experience, lack of humanity, nefarious intent, or just outright stupidity to the viewpoint of anyone who disagrees with the opinion you have reached shows a lack of confidence in your own conclusion. If you have a valid reason that you believe what you believe, what threat to you is it that someone else reached a different conclusion? I assume that most people who believe unlike myself have come to their world views based on their experiences, research, and careful thought, just the way that I have.
If I believe in absolute truth, then there are some viewpoints that cannot coexist. But I'd never walk into one of those serious discussions leading with the condescending thought that "They just don't know any better" or, worse, "They are the antithesis of all that is good in the world." This does not help build bridges, even if you never say it out loud. Harboring this attitude comes through in your manner and it absolutely closes doors.
If I believe in absolute truth, then there are some viewpoints that cannot coexist. But I'd never walk into one of those serious discussions leading with the condescending thought that "They just don't know any better" or, worse, "They are the antithesis of all that is good in the world." This does not help build bridges, even if you never say it out loud. Harboring this attitude comes through in your manner and it absolutely closes doors.
If you're not a Christian, you can skip to the final paragraph now. I'll put a bunch of stars so you'll know where to start. If you're a Christian, please read on because, seriously, you guys, we can do a lot better. We have to do a lot better.
5) The government of the United States of America is not a Christian institution, and it never has been. Before you try to argue with me, I have studied the Christian roots of the foundation and establishment of our country. I understand that many of the first settlers here came to pursue religious freedom. I get that many of the founding fathers were believers. I also understand that law in general owes a lot to the law of Moses.
I, as a Christian, believe that living life guided by the teachings of the Scripture is superior to any other set of guidelines to which one might ascribe. This is due to my firm belief that the author of life itself knows how we're best set up to operate, and that when I try to figure it out on my own, I make a mess out of things. This is a very personal decision, however. It is not our government's place to force anyone into living according to my Scriptures. Remember that whole "religious freedom" thing? Unless we're hypocrites, that applies to all religions (to the point of its not infringing upon others' rights, like underage/unwilling marriages, human sacrifice, animal cruelty, abuse under the guise of "spiritual leadership," etc.).
For a Christian, the place to have external encouragement to live by Jesus' teachings should be the church, not the government. Trust me, you don't want the government enforcing any religion, even yours. You probably don't agree on every point of your faith with your family members; what are the odds that a behemoth like the government is going to enforce the Scriptures in a way that is appropriate for you?
Regardless, appealing to the historical faith of our Founding Fathers does not mean that our country itself is supposed to be specifically Christian. This is not a theocracy. We are not Israel. We are not even Israel, Jr. God did not call the United States out to himself the way he called and covenanted with Abraham. That is not what's happening here. We say that the Lord has blessed America, but I think that the Lord has blessed us as individuals, and that as individuals, we should be active in our government and in our communities, but not in a bloc.
For a Christian, the place to have external encouragement to live by Jesus' teachings should be the church, not the government. Trust me, you don't want the government enforcing any religion, even yours. You probably don't agree on every point of your faith with your family members; what are the odds that a behemoth like the government is going to enforce the Scriptures in a way that is appropriate for you?
Regardless, appealing to the historical faith of our Founding Fathers does not mean that our country itself is supposed to be specifically Christian. This is not a theocracy. We are not Israel. We are not even Israel, Jr. God did not call the United States out to himself the way he called and covenanted with Abraham. That is not what's happening here. We say that the Lord has blessed America, but I think that the Lord has blessed us as individuals, and that as individuals, we should be active in our government and in our communities, but not in a bloc.
6) Where are you getting this "stand up for our rights" mentality? I don't understand it. We're all up at arms because "our" rights are being stomped on every day? Who told you to do that? Do you think it honors God to be pissed that the Target greeter doesn't specifically use the word "Christmas"? And to spread the animosity with a snarky post? How does that fall into line with peace-making? Do you think that showing up with signs or shirts with slogans of solidarity ever results in the actual life-change of the Gospel, which we have been assigned to carry forth?
Christianity is not a privileged class, rich with rights to be protected. It is voluntary slavery to the Lord, and to my fellow man, whom I am to love only second to my love for God. It is taking up one's cross every day. It is actually allowing my supposed rights to be violated if it would win one for Christ. It means praying for and loving and serving all, especially those I would tend not to like.
Every positive example we have in the New Testament of what it is to be a Christian is someone who loved others, served God, and endured poor treatment with dignity. No Biblical martyr died with the words, "This is an injustice!" on their lips. It was always a pointing to God. Jesus did not encourage the zealots who would overthrow Rome. He was too busy being focused on loving people the way that God loved them, and telling them as much about his Father as he could while he was alive.
Jesus also begged forgiveness for those who saw to his death. Could any one of us do that? How about show up with water to hand out at a flamboyant gay pride demonstration? Or volunteering to tutor a prison inmate? Or praying for that guy at work who asked your HR supervisor to tell you to take down your religious Easter decorations? Maybe inviting him out to coffee, just to hang out for a while?
We are supposed to love our "enemies" and pray for those who persecute us. If we spend more time with these people, loving them and praying for them, I think it will be impossible to hate them. I think we will learn that they aren't actually our enemies. No person is ever the enemy.
7) Salt and light are both pretty quiet. Yes, we are called to be in the culture, preserving and enhancing it. Do you know how salt works? By getting into food and being salt. It doesn't stay in the spoon and yell at food to be saltier. It does its thing, and what needs to happen happens. But it has to be in there.
Same kind of thing with light. Light always overpowers darkness. You shine a flashlight into a darkened room, and the beam penetrates the darkness. Darkness doesn't have that power (unless it's created by a black hole, which the Bible mentions not so much). Light wins. So if a light is working, it will change the face of the landscape. It doesn't need to make petulant pleas for everything to stop being so stinking dark.
I get it: there is a place for accountability and encouragement toward morality. Might I suggest that that place is in church, in the context of a community of believers, and in interpersonal relationships? Might I suggest that that place is *not* your Facebook wall? You're not responsible for the public-at-large's ethical and moral behavior. If you ever want to be able to have a rational, heart-felt conversation with anyone who feels differently than you do about a given moral issue, I recommend not posting anything that might alienate that person. Which leads us to...
8) In a battle between your First Amendment rights and adhering to the Scriptures, God's Word always wins. You might be tempted to say, "Well, *that side* gets their say; I should get mine, too." Really? You want to match rights with someone whose exercise of that same right irritates you? Let's try this on for size: "I have made myself a slave to all, that I might win the more. And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law, though not being myself under the Law, that I might win those who are under the Law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. And I do all things for the sake of the gospel, that I may become a fellow partaker of it."
Christianity is not a privileged class, rich with rights to be protected. It is voluntary slavery to the Lord, and to my fellow man, whom I am to love only second to my love for God. It is taking up one's cross every day. It is actually allowing my supposed rights to be violated if it would win one for Christ. It means praying for and loving and serving all, especially those I would tend not to like.
Every positive example we have in the New Testament of what it is to be a Christian is someone who loved others, served God, and endured poor treatment with dignity. No Biblical martyr died with the words, "This is an injustice!" on their lips. It was always a pointing to God. Jesus did not encourage the zealots who would overthrow Rome. He was too busy being focused on loving people the way that God loved them, and telling them as much about his Father as he could while he was alive.
Jesus also begged forgiveness for those who saw to his death. Could any one of us do that? How about show up with water to hand out at a flamboyant gay pride demonstration? Or volunteering to tutor a prison inmate? Or praying for that guy at work who asked your HR supervisor to tell you to take down your religious Easter decorations? Maybe inviting him out to coffee, just to hang out for a while?
We are supposed to love our "enemies" and pray for those who persecute us. If we spend more time with these people, loving them and praying for them, I think it will be impossible to hate them. I think we will learn that they aren't actually our enemies. No person is ever the enemy.
7) Salt and light are both pretty quiet. Yes, we are called to be in the culture, preserving and enhancing it. Do you know how salt works? By getting into food and being salt. It doesn't stay in the spoon and yell at food to be saltier. It does its thing, and what needs to happen happens. But it has to be in there.
Same kind of thing with light. Light always overpowers darkness. You shine a flashlight into a darkened room, and the beam penetrates the darkness. Darkness doesn't have that power (unless it's created by a black hole, which the Bible mentions not so much). Light wins. So if a light is working, it will change the face of the landscape. It doesn't need to make petulant pleas for everything to stop being so stinking dark.
I get it: there is a place for accountability and encouragement toward morality. Might I suggest that that place is in church, in the context of a community of believers, and in interpersonal relationships? Might I suggest that that place is *not* your Facebook wall? You're not responsible for the public-at-large's ethical and moral behavior. If you ever want to be able to have a rational, heart-felt conversation with anyone who feels differently than you do about a given moral issue, I recommend not posting anything that might alienate that person. Which leads us to...
8) In a battle between your First Amendment rights and adhering to the Scriptures, God's Word always wins. You might be tempted to say, "Well, *that side* gets their say; I should get mine, too." Really? You want to match rights with someone whose exercise of that same right irritates you? Let's try this on for size: "I have made myself a slave to all, that I might win the more. And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law, though not being myself under the Law, that I might win those who are under the Law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. And I do all things for the sake of the gospel, that I may become a fellow partaker of it."
Paul wasn't talking about being manipulative. He just meant that he was able to chill out and fit in and not offend people. The Gospel can be offensive enough. We don't need to make it worse."If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
There are some things that are definitely worth fighting for. But real change doesn't happen from your posting vitriolic and argumentative things on your Facebook wall. If you believe in something, *do* something; bullhorns rarely change minds, and your Facebook feed is a digital bullhorn.
9) Do not call the President "stupid." I'm not picking on any one political leaning here; I've heard this word hurled at almost every President we've had since I was aware of what the office is. Never mind the fact that, agree with the guy (and maybe lady, in the future) or not, I personally believe that a person has to possess certain baseline of cleverness or keenness or intelligence to get that far in the political world.
Again, you're free to express opinions against the policies a President supports, or even personal views that he (or she) holds. I think it helps your case in a big way if you can avoid emotional histrionics and name-calling and stick with facts, reason, logic, and research. This holds true for anyone, regardless of faith.
However, for a Christian, calling someone "stupid" like this is especially egregious. "[A]nyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell." Okay, so you say, "This is talking about other disciples, and I don't buy that *fill in the blank* is a Christian." Then there's this: "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment." There is a place for civil disobedience, for being opposed to policy, etc. But there is no excuse to disrespect our President. I see this most often happening by my elders, and it embarrasses me.
There are a lot of youngsters on Facebook, and their seeing people who should be able to conduct themselves as adults condescending to "poopyhead" is permission for them to be disrespectful. There's no excuse to be disrespectful in behavior toward anyone else, even if we privately do not respect them. Our behavior is our choice, and I don't believe that we, as Christians, have any excuse to stoop to ugliness.
10) The devil is not responsible for every less-than-ideal thing that happens. Sometimes, a storm is just a storm, a traffic jam is just a traffic jam, and frustration is just a part of every day life. Satan is not attacking you all of the time. He is not omnipresent. He is not omnipotent. You might just be having a random bad day. It happens. Besides, what you call "bad" might be good; you don't see the big picture. Please stop ascribing more power to the devil than he has.
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Facebook should be fun. It's fun for me; I love posting weird and funny things. I adore keeping up with my friends. I love to see your summer vacations, your favorite recipes, thought-provoking articles you've read, what's going on with your kids, things that break your heart. I love all of that.
What I can not tolerate are lies, ugliness, lazy arguments, bigotry, sweeping assumptions, and the like.
I am responsible for my own reactions, for my own responses. And what I've learned in the past few weeks is that I am apparently not mature enough yet always to let these things slide off of me. Maybe I expect better from my friends. Maybe I see something in these posts that reminds me of myself and that I find unbearably repulsive. Whatever it is, until I can manage my response more maturely, I'm having to block a lot of stuff from my feed.
Please, if I post things that cause this kind of recoiling in you, let me know. Hold me accountable! I don't shy away from controversy, but I would hope that anything I would share might be controversial in nature, but respectfully presented. And if not, it needs to come down.
Well said, Laura! This is a GREAT post! Can you post this on Facebook?
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