A Parental Public Service Announcement

There is a line between having a properly proud parent moment on social media and in coming off like a sanctimonious a-hole. Sadly, this distinction seems to be lost on many people. Therefore, I have prepared a little tutorial.

Perfectly acceptable public kid brags:
1) "Robb's off rappelling again today! I love seeing his passion for this, and watching him work so hard."
2) "Kelsi picked out this cute kitty shirt at Target all by herself. Doesn't she have great taste?!"
3) "Mariana has been practicing piano like crazy lately, and I don't think I'm biased when I say she's getting GREAT!"

Unacceptable public posts:
1) "Robb's rappelling again today. I'm so glad he's climbing a mountain that the Lord Himself carved out of nothing instead of virtually scrabbling up an 8-bit mountain with a bunch of 6-year-olds on, goodness, I don't even know for sure; what's it called? MindCrap? ;)"
2) "Kelsi picked out this cute generic kitty shirt at Target. I'm proud that she selected this one instead of one of the hundred Frozen shirts that are everywhere. She has no idea who those or any characters are, since fifteen years ago we converted our CRT into an aquarium so the only thing she knows about a television is that the box houses fish, all of whom are smarter than we'd be if we'd kept watching TV."
3) "Mariana just transposed Bach's Symphony No 3 from memory! Thank goodness we get to homeschool so she doesn't have to waste 4 hours a day in kindergarten with all of those other glue-sniffing, booger-eating morons at the government compliant citizen factory."

Now, I might have punched those second examples up just a tiny bit, but, seriously, I've seen similarly-themed posts recently.

You might have heard this before, but please allow me to reiterate: It's not a contest. You're not in competition with anyone else. You don't get bonus parenting points if your kid has no pop culture awareness, or if he chooses organic broccoli over cake every single time, or if she can say all of the states in reverse alphabetical order. And you don't lose points if your teenager doesn't know your address, or your son is obsessed with Doc McStuffins, or you were just super grateful that this morning, your daughter remembered both shoes when you left the house, and that the shoes actually match.

All families have their own priorities, morals, and ethics, and we all love our kids and try to raise them the best way that we can. We're not perfect, and neither are they. Sometimes they blow our socks off, and sometimes they're remarkably unremarkable. So, sure, when you have a "win," share it! Let people rejoice with you! But don't throw other people under the bus. Don't assume that your particular brand of parenting means you somehow care more or are seizing the days with any more vigor and life than anyone else.

Especially if your pride is in something hipster - ahem, I mean, outside of the mainstream. Think about it: If you're outside of the mainstream, then by definition, you're probably looking down your nose at and offending the majority of your audience, many of whom are supposedly friends.

So be proud, but not prideful. You and your kids aren’t getting into heaven any earlier than the rest of us because you’re gluten free or media free or sleep in hammocks. Stop saying stupid things that imply others are just doing it wrong. Don't be a d-bag.

The more you know...