D and Mal at age 3 3/4

I came across this picture at my parents' the other day.

This is of D skating. I took it August 6, 2005, so this is basically the exact age Mal is now. By this point, D was skating like a pro, and Mal has never gone skating before.

That got me to thinking about some other things. At Mal's age, D had been in gymnastics for more than a year and a half.

Though you might have to trust me on that one.

And had also taken tae kwon do.

Testing for an orange belt.

And some tennis lessons.

Mal and I did 8 out of 10 Music Together classes, and he took one trial gymnastics class a few months ago. It was obvious that he wasn't ready. We're going to try a trial swimming class Thursday, but my prediction is that he will freak out and refuse to go into the water without me. I hope I'm wrong.

Also, at Mal's age...

We rode the log ride as much as we could, often getting off of the ride and getting right back on. Mal freaked out on the Ferris wheel at Kemah, but made it because I held him.

When I took this picture, D was watching the boat splash we'd just gotten off of. See the thumbs up? Mal screamed and cried and basically freaked out on the tilt-a-whirl.

Here, D is riding alone because I was too big to go on this kiddie ride. Mal not only HATES spinning (see tilt-a-whirl plus any other thing he's ever been on that spins), but there's NO WAY he'd get on something like this alone.

It's marked to me how different these children are. D was reading before 5; Mal shows no interest. Mal spends a lot more time in his imagination, both recreating scenes from movies, and making up stories. He continues to speak of his alien friend Abbey-A-Babbey when he is scared or wants to do something we can't do.

D was intrepid. Mal is trepidatious to the point that I've started carrying noise-cancelling earphones with me in my purse. He is suspicious of anything he thinks might be scary, and there's no talking him into even attempting it.

In addition to these differences, I ponder how D's become more anxiety-prone as a teenager. I wonder if Mal will become more self-assured as he matures, or if his fears will increase.

Neither is better. And I love them both so much. I am just finding that I have spent most of Mal's life reframing my expectations, because my tendency continues to be "At this age, D could..." and they're just very different kids.

But not totally different.