Dental Update

By the time I went to bed last night, I told James I was just about ready to cancel Mal's appointment. I was already wound up, then I went online to fill out the new patient forms. I didn't cancel, because Mal definitely has a cavity, and I'd feel bad later if it did start to pain him because we hadn't addressed it in a timely manner. 

But I also felt like "that mom" because I added notes to two of the pages.

Okay, before you're like, "Yep, you're definitely 'that mom,'" I'll remind you of something: Mal needs earphones to play at McDonald's. When I vacuum. If I use the blender (which is broken, darn it) or the mixer. Increasing volume will not startle him into compliance; it will FREAK HIM OUT. And then we have to spend time letting him calm back down. Anyway, I know my kid and I know what won't work for him. The mouth prop thing, the rubber one, *might* help, but, again, I can tell when it might or might not. Other than that, they'd get consent. And, honestly, unless there was a problem causing pain or permanent damage, I'm not sedating my child for an exam. 

Here's another thing I'll tell you: I never once went back into the exam room at the dentist's office with D, and D started seeing the dentist about a year younger than Mal is now. D was ready, excited, and confident about the adventure. So this isn't about helicopter parenting. Again, it's about knowing my child. And if he's cool with going back alone, all the better. But if he's freaking out and they think my leaving will make it more likely to successfully complete the treatment, then most likely it means they'll be doing something that will involve leveraging size or intimidation to make my child comply. Not how I choose to approach health care. Sorry.

I had a lot of baby teeth filled in overly-aggressive treatments by a dentist who later lost his license. I remember how much getting teeth filled both hurt and was just a yucky experience due to the numbness after. I am not traumatized by those memories, though.

I can recall quite acutely, however, a terrifying experience as clearly as if it happened yesterday, and it's something I want Mal to avoid if at all possible. I had tubes put in my ears when I was 5. I guess maybe I wasn't breathing enough, and maybe crying? struggling? I don't remember doing either of those, but who knows. All I do know is that I was in an operating room without my parents, and someone put the anesthesia mask over my mouth and nose. Whatever I did wrong, the person pushed hard on the mask, shoving it painfully into my face. Seeing that scene while losing consciousness is the stuff nightmares are made of. 

So. This morning, Mal woke up and we headed out almost immediately, It was an early start for him, and he was both tired and, I think, the opposite of how he usually is, which is extremely energetic, out of fear. I'd much prefer the limp fear to the kicking and screaming panic.

When we arrived at the office a few minutes early, the only people there were a woman at the front desk and a woman sweeping the waiting area. She said, "Didn't you get my message?"

As it turns out, the dentist was out with a family emergency. The office had called to reschedule, but my phone didn't ring, didn't show a missed call, and never shows that I have a voice mail message anymore.

I asked if we could sit down for a minute. It was actually a pretty muted waiting area for a kids' dentist. The one where D went was practically a playground. However, they did have the television on Scooby Doo, and they had a Ms. Pac Man video game in the corner. Mal watched TV for a few before I asked if he wanted to walk next door to get hash browns. As we left, I said, "See? It's okay, right?" 

The woman who was sweeping told Mal, "Next time, when you come back, after the exam, you'll get to pick a prize out of our prize box!" Well, that's right up Mal's alley, so I think when we go back he'll be less anxious. Question is: Will I?