When Stuff Breaks Down

Guys. I promise the next post will be full of light and love and the kind of whipped creamy goodness you've come to expect from this here blog. (All 9 of you who stuck with me of the 230 people who used to read my blog when I was on social media. Hi, Mom! Howdy, Christy! Hey, Jana! Hola, other half-dozen people! I'm sure I love you!)

So.

I've had a bit of a week, if I may. Also, I know what I'm about to tell you is SO MINOR compared to actual, real, damaging, devastating situations other people face. This will let you know how good I guess my life is, that these events can bring me down. But, man, they did.

First, cool thing: I've been planning a family vacation for over a year. We're closing in on our travel dates, which I won't tell you and we have a house-sitter, so don't think you can come steal the big screen TV we don't have, or the expensive electronics that we also don't have because we're taking our inexpensive electronics with us on our trip. But please, feel free to abscond with a cat or two. Just get your own Modkat litter box. Trust me. You do NOT want to transport a used one in your vehicle.

So last week, I noticed Mal had the cavity, about which you have read in two posts, and I'll spare you the repeated deets (which was the cool kid way to shorten "details" about 6 years ago).

Just before THAT, the "check engine" light had come on in my SUV. I'd gone by AutoZone and they'd told me that the codes indicated an O2 sensor was the problem. I came home and filled out an appointment request for the garage. They called me and confirmed the appointment for August 24, but I'd heard August 21, because that was my preference and he didn't say which weekday. So I showed up at 10 AM (early commitment for us because I never know when Mal will be up and moving) only to find that I was 3 days early.

Meanwhile, James's "change oil" notification showed up on his car. So, really neither car was fit to drive, but... well, we had to.

THEN, as you'll remember, I went in to the dentist's on the 24th and she was out, so Mal got really anxious for nothing, and I got him up early (9 this time!) for nothing, then we dropped the SUV off at the garage and took a Lyft home.

Mal's review: "I'm having a beautiful ride!"

By about 4:30, we hadn't heard anything so I called the garage. The guy gave me some rigmarole about how some of the codes were weird, but I got the distinct feeling that they hadn't done more in the previous 8 hours than exactly what I had done at AutoZone. Said they would probably not have an answer until Monday.

Friday night, Mal wanted to go to Target, but... James's car. I called the only place still opened and asked if they could change the oil that night, but because James's car is a Fiat 500, some places don't have his filter in stock. They said they'd order it and I could come in the next day. She set an appointment for 10 AM, and I promised Mal we'd go to Target after that.

Turns out, I lied to him, but not on purpose.

When we got there the next morning, the lady asked me if I was dropping the car off. I told her that would be impossible. She said she wasn't sure how they would have gotten my filter by then since I wasn't "even in the system." So I left. She had offered to order the part and call me, but by then, I was pretty peeved.

I drove to Walmart, then remembered that they can't change the oil in a Fiat 500. So I called a Firestone down the way, and they said I'd have to drop it off because Friday, Saturday, and Sundays were just the busiest days. He offered to make an appointment for during the week, and I cried.

Here's a picture showing how ridiculous I look in reading glasses, just to break the monotony.
#thebettertoseeyouwith

I got home and made an online appointment with a different Firestone for around dinner time. It is in the same shopping area as a McDonald's and Taco Bell, so we made a family night of it. I did call before the appointment to ask if they were going to be able to do it, and they affirmed that they could. They did ask James if we were leaving it overnight, though. Sigh.

One down.

Yesterday morning, I again pulled Mal out of bed and put him straight into the car seat. James works from home on Mondays and Fridays, so I was able to use his vehicle. As soon as we pulled out of the driveway, there was an error message that a front tire was down to 24.6 PSI. Big sigh. Filed away for later.

We got to the office, and the hygienist called us back. She was a kind older lady, but she kept calling Mal "she," so I finally mentioned he was a boy. She said, "Oh, I couldn't tell because of the long hair." Not in a friendly way.

She was plenty patient while Mal balked at sitting in the chair, and eventually resigned herself to just brushing Mal's teeth with a Lightning McQueen brush because he said, "I don't want a motor!" Even then, I had to hold him in the chair, kneeling beside him, and talk gently to him the whole time.

When the dentist came in, she asked the hygienist a few things, and when she got to the x-rays, the lady said, "We didn't get them because of his behavior."

Well, that's factual. His behavior, specifically, was communicating "I am terrified." And at some point, she just looked at me and said, "There's no way we can get x-rays today."

But it sounded like he refused or was being a brat or something. Or maybe I'm overly-sensitive, but I've never had a kid with cavities before, and I was feeling very anxious, as you know.

She had managed to get the vitamins on Mal's teeth, too, but he gagged several times. The dentist got him back in the chair and did the exam, pointing out one cavity I hadn't noticed (which I still can't see, but I'm not the expert, so I'll take her word for it), for a total of four cavities over five teeth.

The first recommendation she had was general anesthesia. For a 3-year-old. With tooth decay, or dental caries, that have not penetrated the enamel. So, no. I made a mental note that we were going to find a different dentist.

Her second recommendation was something I'd read about: silver diamine fluoride. It turns the decay black, but gives it a "complicated disease" that kills it and arrests the decay. It doesn't repair the teeth, but prevents damage, most effectively when reapplied within six months.

So we made an appointment to do that, and I knew as soon as it was over, we'd be the hell out of that office.

On the way out to the car, I saw that the garage had called, they had figured out the problem (IT WAS AN OXYGEN SENSOR... WHAT?!), and they gave me an estimate, which I approved.

The Firestone where we had the tires balanced at the same time we had the oil changed is also in the same shopping center as the dentist's office, McD's, Taco Bell, et. al. So we drove over, the guy checked the tires, and they were ALL low. So someone just didn't inflate them properly. They fixed it immediately.

Last night at 5, we got our SUV back.

I almost blogged last night about how relieved I was that we were almost finished with all outstanding issues, because I can barely go to bed with the dishwasher running as I know it means I'll have to empty dishes one of the first things in the morning. I cannot stand having unresolved things.

But I didn't blog. My body gave out at 9:30, and I went to sleep before Mal. Mostly. He woke me up to go to sleep, but I'd been asleep (and, maybe, snoring) for a while.

Then, at 4:00 AM, I woke up in a cold sweat. I was so panicky. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the thought of going into that office was so dark and foreboding. I tried to go to sleep for an hour and a half, but ended up waking James up, crying, because I was so stressed and sad. I told him I'd decided to have them do the back 2 teeth only, and we'd monitor the front ones. First, I thought this was all Mal would be able to tolerate. Second, it had occurred to me that I have a silver allergy. That's why we have silicone wedding bands now. Mal might not be allergic, but what if he is?

By 7, I was shaking. I'd read that patients reported a "metallic taste" and had been reading about how silver diamine fluoride stains EVERYTHING it comes into contact with. Allegedly, only the decay on teeth stays stained; anything else will clear up in 2-14 days. But I had this mental picture of Mal tasting the metal, gagging, and somehow upsetting the mouth guard (which I don't think he'd love, anyway) and not taking the full minute for it to dry because of his freaking out, and how worried he was that the "paint" was going to be "sour" like the mint toothpaste, and how scared he was at the exam, and... I was literally physically ill.

I cancelled the appointment.

I'm going to find a more holistic/alternative/gentle dentist. I got a couple of referrals from another unschooling mom. But in the meantime, I'm implementing a plan.

First, I have to admit, I haven't been militant with Mal's brushing up until now. I had false confidence because D's teeth were never a problem, so skipping a day of brushing if he fell asleep before we got to it... meh. No more of that.

Second, we'd never given him fluoride toothpaste because he's never spit. He always eats the toothpaste. We got him some this weekend, and it turns out he is fine with spitting it out because he doesn't like the way it tastes like he does the training toothpaste.

Third, we're brushing with the fluoride twice a day, and then periodically with just the brush after he has sticky stuff like fruit snacks.

Fourth, I commandeered some of D's Wisps to keep in my purse, as well as Xylitol bubble gum for after snacking out and about.

I know that dental decay takes 4-8 years to pierce the enamel. Mal hasn't had most of his teeth for 4 years. And the worst decay is on the molar that came in a year and a half ago. So I feel reasonably confident that we can wait a couple of months before getting a second opinion, given my more aggressive cleaning regimen.

I don't usually freak out about stuff like I did this, so I'm going to chalk it up to intuition. I was really hoping to have everything stamped "HANDLED" by today, but it looks like I'm going to have to be patient. I'm not super great at that.