$4!+ Happens. Literally.

No one should read this blog post. Seriously.

This is the kind of thing that when I read it on Facebook, I wonder, "Why did they share this?"

But I'm sharing it, so maybe you can feel a little bit better about your day?

Last night, one of our toilets backed up. Mal had already gone to bed, and I was trying to take care of it between his bouts of wakefulness.

This isn't always easy, because he wakes up every 20 minutes or so when he first goes to bed.

So I would go into the bathroom, try one of the tips I saw on WikiAnswers how to unclog a toilet without a plunger (our plunger is still in the old house, but that's another story), then go back into the bedroom to check on Mal.

After about 4 tries, it became clear that I wasn't going to unclog the toilet that night.

It also became clear that Mal was not going to sleep well last night, as he's very congested and can't breathe through his nose, which makes it difficult to nurse.

This morning, he woke up in a good mood, though  I have to be sure to close the bathroom door, because Mal likes to explore in the bathroom, including putting his hands in the toilet.

After a bit of playing, Mal started to get fussy. Fortunately, I needed to vacuum and that is one of his favorite things.

I put on the baby carrier, and put Mal in it, noticing that his diaper felt pretty full for as early in the morning as it was. I made a note to check it as soon as we were finished.

I vacuumed, which takes about half an hour in the new place. When I was finished, I was noting to Mal that I needed to use the restroom myself, and if I weren't wearing him, I would just go.

Instead, I set the vacuum aside, unstrapped the carrier, and put Mal on on the floor. As I made my way to the restroom, it became clear the he did not want to be put in the floor was not happy about it.

He crawled over to me, crying. As he crawled, I noticed that his diaper was in fact full, and everything was squishing out both the top and the bottom holes.

At the same time, it became apparent that my body was not going to cooperate with doing anything in a hurried manner.

Mal scrabbled up my legs, crying, sobbing! He was trying to get in my lap, with his dirty diaper in my compromised position.

I looked over and noticed that the carrier of course had solid waste in it.

As quickly as I could (I'll probably pay for it later), I finished my business and carried Mal gingerly in his room.

He doesn't like having his diaper changed, and this was no different. I finally got him laid down, and took off the old diaper.

Not to sound like an old fart, but I feel like diaper wipes have changed since Daphne was little. These don't work the way they were supposed to, by being able to be drawn out one at a time through the hole in the dispenser. I always have to open a dispenser all the way and pull out three or four at a time. But that's another rant altogether.

Once I managed to get Mal clean and outfitted, there was leaky stuff all over his bed/changing area.

He still wanted me to hold him (have you been imagining screaming and sobbing this whole time? I hope you have) but there were land mines everywhere and I needed to get them in the wash.

At this point, I remembered the phrase "choose love" but wasn't remotely tempted to pick up my little guy. Instead, I left him in his floor to fuss while I stripped his bed, then threw the sheets, the carrier, and everything else in the washing machine.

Then I grabbed Mal and nurses him to sleep

When he was down, I went back to tackle the toilet, and the wire hanger trick (with gloves) finally did it!

I cleaned the toilet, got myself cleaned up, and now am holding my sleeping soon, who has woken up there times during this mail already, but I don't even care.

I can use the break.